too late."
I was about to suggest that we medicate ourselves with as
much undiluted vodka as we could locate, but Elisa found us first.
"This place is so hot," she breathed into my ear while waving
hello to Penelope. "Check it out. Far right, back corner, Kristin
Davis. Far right, just in front of her, Suzanne Somers. Random, I acknowledge,
but celeb nonetheless. Far left, not quite in the corner,
more like twelve o'clock, Sting and Trudie Styler, making out. At
the round leather couch in the middle, Heidi Klum and Seal, and
Davide heard them say that Zac Posen is on his way."
"Wow," Penelope said, making an admirable effort to sound
impressed, "there are a lot of people here tonight. Bette? What do
you say about getting a drink?"
"I'm not finished," Elisa hissed, pulling my arm tighter toward
hers and continuing to scan the room. "Flirting with the waitress,
by the side door, Ethan Hawke. Made significantly more awkward
by the presence of Andre Balazs, Uma's new man, sitting with
business associates at first banquette on the right. And look! That
ugly little lesbian troll blogger who can't stop writing about how
much blow she does every night is sort of lurking in the back
there, watching them all. Tomorrow she'll have everything plastered
all over her blog, making it sound like she was partying with
everyone rather than spying all night long. Oh, and look! Right behind
her, an assistant from Rush & Molloy. They rotate them constantly
so no one ever knows who they are, but we have a source
there who faxes over pictures and bios of the new ones right
away. . . . Hmm, it doesn't look like Philip is here tonight. Shame. I
bet you were wanting to see him, no?"
"Philip? Uh, no, actually, not really," I mumbled somewhat
truthfully.
"Oh, really? Does that mean he still hasn't called? How sad. I
know what it's like, Bette. Don't take it personally—he obviously
just has very strange tastes."
1 had spent three weeks dodging Elisa's questions, trying to appear
nonchalant about Philip Weston. I was about to repeat that I
couldn't care less that he hadn't called, that I hadn't even left my
number as instructed, but I figured it wasn't worth it. This was
clearly a sensitive point and best left alone. Besides, I didn't exactly
adore the fact that I hadn't heard from him, number or not.
Penelope and I followed Elisa over to a small circle of white
suede couches—a phenomenally stupid idea for a place where
people do nothing but eat, drink, and hook up—and said hello to
Leo, Skye, Davide, and someone Elisa introduced as "the brains behind
this entire production."
"Hi, I'm Bette, and this is my friend Penelope," I said, extending
my hand to the Semitic-Iooking-yet-mullet-sporting guy Elisa
had referenced.
"Yo. Danny."
"Without Danny, we wouldn't be here tonight." Elisa sighed,
and everyone at the table nodded knowingly. "He came up with
the whole concept that is Sanctuary and put the whole project together.
. . . Isn't that right, Danny?"
"Word."
I was wondering why this short Jewish guy from either Great
Neck or Dix Hills was attempting to sound as though he'd grown
up on the playgrounds and basketball courts of Cabrini Green.
"Oh, so you were the one who hired that charming bouncer,
huh?" I asked, and Elisa shot me a warning look.
Danny apparently sensed nothing amiss. "Fag freak, but whatever.
Gets his shit done. Keeps out the losers—all that matters to
me."
Mmm. Penelope nodded seriously in agreement and simultaneously
nudged me, and I gnawed the inside of my cheeks to keep
from laughing. Compared to two minutes ago, Danny was being
downright verbose.
"So, Danny, what gave you the idea for Sanctuary?" Penelope
asked, staring at him with wide, fascinated eyes.
He took a swig from his Stella Artois and peered at her as
though he were trying to determine which language she'd just
used, his eyes scrunched up in confusion, hand on his crinkled
forehead, head shaking slightly from side to side. "Dude. Everywhere
else is so fucking stressful. The line at Bungalow's a nightmare
and I can't stand all those fuckin' media types at Soho House.
Figured we all need a place that could be, like, a y'know, what's
the word? A place to chill."
"A sanctuary?" I supplied helpfully.
"Right on." He nodded, obviously relieved. The amount of
product in his hair was nothing short of astounding.
Unfortunately, before this fascinating conversation could see itself
to its logical end—most likely the one where Danny eventually
remembered the name of his own club)—I spotted an exceedingly
familiar tan.
"Ohmigod, it's him," I stage-whispered to our motley crew, immediately
leaning my head in for both cover and consultation.
Heads turned.
"Philip. Philip Weston is here. Just walked in with that, that,
that
model,"
I spat out, not even remotely aware of how insanely
jealous I sounded. And looked.
"Bette, is that jealousy I hear?" Elisa asked, leaning in to whisper
in my ear. "And here I thought you were immune to the Weston
charms. Good to see you're a red-blooded American girl after
all. Of course, just because you're interested doesn't mean he
is. . . ."
"Dude! Philip! Over here," Danny was calling, and before I'd
even realized what was happening, Philip was kissing me hello on
the mouth.
"Hi, love, I was hoping you'd be here. You can run, but you
can't hide. . . ."
"Pardon?" was about all I could manage, since at this point I
was fairly certain he'd meant to direct both the kiss and comment
elsewhere. Like toward the knockout who was patiently waiting
about three feet behind him, not looking the least bit distressed
about anything.
"You didn't leave your number with my doorman. What do you
call that here? Playing hard to get. Well, I always fancy a good
game, so I decided to play along and find you myself."
I saw Elisa collapse into the couch behind him, her mouth
hanging open quite unattractively, shock flashing across her face.
"Play along?" I asked him.
"Girls don't exactly flee from me, love, if you know what I'm
saying. Hey, mate, may I get a Tanq and tonic?" he said, addressing
Danny as though he were our waiter.
"Right on, dude, coming right up," Danny said, moving as
quickly as one might expect only when the offer of drugs or girls
was promised.
He turned around when Philip called, "And hey, something for
Sonja here, too." He turned not to me but to the girl with infinite
legs. "Sonja, doll baby, what can I get for you? Ginger ale? Vegetable
juice? Talk to me, honey."
She stared back, uncomprehending, and I was almost—almost—
amused by the idea that Philip had brought along one girl
for accompaniment as he pursued another. He
was
pursuing me,
wasn't he?
Elisa had returned to Davide's lap, apparently recovered from
Philip's unexpected arrival. I saw her very discreetly remove a
small packet of white powder from her seafoam green Balenciaga
bag and slip it to Skye, who immediately bolted in the direction of
the ladies' room. Ever resourceful, Elisa then stuck a hand into the
bag's side pocket and distributed a few tablets among the table's
remaining people. Hands simultaneously found their way to
mouths, and the mystery pills were quickly washed down with
champagne and vodka and what Skye—our very own drink
critic—had described as "the only decent cosmopolitan in this entire
fucking city."
"Oh, Pheeeely, I think it will be nice to have the tom-ahto
juices,
out?"
Sonja said, biting her lower lip seductively.
"Hey, y'all, come and play. We've got more than enough to go
around!" Elisa called over the Hotel Costes CD that might've passed
for relaxed lounge music had it not been pumped out at decibels
capable of drowning out a 747.
Danny left to fetch drinks for Philip and Sonja, while Penelope
tried gamely to make conversation with an ever more wasted Elisa.
I just stood there, acutely aware that I looked awkward and dumb,
but not really possessing the faculties to move.
"So, Philip, introduce me to your, uh, your friend," I managed,
wondering what the protocol was when the guy whose bed you'd
recently shared made the effort to track you down with his girlfriend
in tow.
"Sure thing, love. Sonja, this is the smashing creature I was
telling you about—the one who turned me down a few weeks ago,
if you can believe it. She was completely blotto, of course; it's the
only feasible explanation." Sonja nodded, not necessarily comprehending
anything, lie rapidly switched to French and the only
word I managed to catch was
name,
which I immediately assumed
meant he was informing her he didn't know what mine was.
"Bette," I said, extending my hand to Sonja while ignoring
Philip.
"Son-yaaah." She giggled, revealing shiny teeth with absolutely
no nicotine stains.
"Sonja's folks have entrusted her to me for the week while she
interviews at all the agencies," he explained in his irritatingly
adorable British accent. "Our parents have neighboring villas in St.
Tropez, so she's always been like a little sister to me. Only fifteen.
Can you believe it?" In all fairness, he was neither leering nor lecherous,
but it felt as though he should have been.
I once again found myself in the rather uncomfortable position
of being unable to speak or respond with any sort of consistency,
and so I was delighted when Penelope announced that she was
ready to go.
"I know we just got here," she said quietly in my ear, "but this
just isn't my scene. Are you okay here by yourself? Your whole office
is here. It should be fine, right?"
"Pen, don't be crazy! I'm coming with you," I announced,
mostly eager for an excuse to leave, with only a hint of desire to
stay and talk to Philip.
Danny returned, leading a cocktail waitress over to us. Philip
and Sonja received their requested drinks and I was thoughtfully
provided with a mini bottle of Piper and a red-striped sipping
straw. Penelope received nothing.
"Here, have a drink before we go," I said, and thrust the bottle
in her direction.
"Bette, I'm just done, okay? I really think you should just stay
and—"
"AVERY!" Elisa shrieked all of a sudden, propelling her emaciated
figure off the couch and into the arms of a tall blond guy wearing an
aggressively preppy pink shirt. Both Penelope and I turned simultaneously
to see her fiance embracing my coworker as though they'd