Emmerson's Heart (8 page)

“You don’t have to be such a bitch!” Paul came down the porch steps so fast that Ben had jerked q
uickly. “God, Emmerson! You are-”

“I can’t stand
her!” Reaching for Ben, he jerked away from me at the sound of my voice. Whenever I got upset, he was there, right there to protect me. “I am sorry, but you just…”

“It’s not me! It is not me that is coming between this here.” He waved his hand between us. His dark brows pinched tightly as the anger was sinking in deeper. “You are nothing but a spoiled little bitch, Emmy! If you can’t be happy for me
, then stay the hell away from me!”

“I care about you, Paul! I miss my best friend! We don’t do anything anymore!”

“That’s because I am so sick of your shit! It’s not because of my relationship with her! It’s you. I can’t stand to be around you! God, just stay the hell away from me! You have brought my life down for so long now! I can’t! Just leave me the hell alone!” Those perfect teeth came together as he hissed out his angry cursing. “I hate the fact that you are always around! I hate the weekends when you are here because it’s nothing but pure drama with you! You are spoiled and you have become such a bitch that I regret that night I ever found you!”

Wow, that hurt, cutting so deep that I couldn’t breathe. Pressing my lips together, I held back my tears and nodded now knowing his true feelings about me. He really did hate me. He really hated the fact that he was the one that had saved me from the wrath of my father. It was him that I had owed my life to and now he was telling me that he hated the fact that it was him. “I will leave you alone now.”

That hurt even worse than the birthdays and holidays I had with my dad. Nothing could ever cut that deep, not like taking the world from me. My stomach wanted to come up. For once in my life, I deserved what my dad had put on me, what he had done to me. I knew that was why it had happened. He hated me that much also. Now, my best friend admitted to having those same feelings. I knew what I had to do. I knew that I would never come back there. I would never see my family again. If my best friend hated me that much to regret the day that he pulled me out from under the broken down porch that night, maybe they all had.

“You’re r
ight.” The pain was so deep, I couldn’t hold it back. I couldn’t just keep this in. For so long, I kept the house secrets to myself just to get through those horrible times, but this, this scarred me worse than ever. This, I would never get over seeing that pure regret in him as he just stood there with the disgust deep in his eyes. Turning away, I went down to the barn and sat on the bale while looking at the saddened face of Ben. His ears flickered as he nudged me gently. “I’m not coming back. I am sorry, but I’m not.”

Pushing myself up, I headed out to my truck
, not seeing anyone else outside of the house. On holidays, we sat around and talked, had family time as Connie called it. No, I wasn’t family anymore. I didn’t want to be. Not after what Paul said.

Forget my clothes, forget my bag. I just left. Everyone wanted me at school so that was where I was going to stay from now on. And I would stay there, get a job
, and save some money so when I was done, I wouldn’t have to go back to the ranch. Knowing Paul’s true feelings for me now, I wasn’t going to ever face him again. How could he say something that would hurt so bad? He’s always been there for me, always my best friend, but finding out how much he actually hated me hurt more than anything I ever experienced in my life. If he hated me so much, then why did he kiss me like that last weekend? That was a kiss, a real kiss…wasn’t it?

I just
couldn’t figure out why he all of a sudden changed so much. Maybe I was being a bitch, but since Becky started always coming around, he was pushing me more and more away. If that was what he wanted, then just tell me. I would understand. But he didn’t. Instead, he was being mean and not wanting anything to do with me. Why? Was it her telling him to? He was the one who saved me that night on a hunch. He was the one who found me before I froze to death and he was the one brother who actually saw what my father had done to me. But to say something like he regretted it… Then maybe I needed to leave. I needed to leave and just stay away. Next weekend, I would make up some excuse not to come home and I would keep coming up with excuses if Paul wanted me gone. He was still my best friend and I would try to grant him that. I would just give him that.

Chapter 6

****Past****

Paul

Saturday night, I had gone down to the bar to meet up with a few of my friends and I was having a good time, too. Of course, they teased me about my beige sweater, but the thing was so damn warm, I wasn’t taking it off. After having my fill of drinks and some flirting with a friend of mine, I went out to my truck. Looking down the road to the house where I dropped Will’s little school friend off, I thought about going over just to check on the girl.

From what I g
athered from Will, Emmer hadn’t been in school since before the break for Thanksgiving a little over a week ago. It bothered me. It bothered me more and more. The more I thought about it, I tried remembering if I saw something that was questionable about her. Some people just weren’t as lucky as us with enough money for food and clothing. I understood that and my dad reminded me of that each time I brought the subject on the girl. He did also state, if there was something that required someone to check on things back at Emmy’s home, then he would. Not me.

It did piss me off a little that he wouldn’t let me, but I understood that also. I was, what, barely an adult myself? He
would take care of any issues…..if there were any that came about. Still, it really got to me on a few things that girl did and a few looks she had given me.

She followed me aroun
d the most when they weren’t working on assignments and doing chores. I didn’t mind because I hate to admit, she was smarter than anyone I knew. Even at her age, the age of my youngest brother—fourteen—she was that damn smart. I was blown away at a few things she had thrown my way, talking to me about diseases that had gone through herds. I mean, come on. I told her a little about what I did and what I had to look for on our little camping trip to check on the herd. And there she was, telling me all about it and what she would look for before I really had the chance to explain anything to her. I stood there shocked that she knew what a cow with brucellosis was.

Then, the laughs that
came from her were ones I would never forget. It was beautiful being so full of life and freedom, but yet so strong with pain and hurt that she hid so damn well. It was the first time a laugh ever hit me like it did. I swear, though, when I turned to talk to Will and Rob, I caught her out of the corner of my eye trying to brush something from her face. Tears, maybe. That was what I was guessing because she really didn’t look at me afterward until it was dark out and I could barely see her. On the morning ride, I finally broke her of her secret. After I talked to her about coming out with us, she went to the library and studied everything she could to get ready. And how she remembered all that, I had no idea and I was blown away. Rob and Will were doing this all their lives, but the things Emmy knew just by reading some journals and books, they hadn’t even heard of. 

That Sunday night when I dropped her off at home, she hesitated so much before she got out. She sat there in my truck, wrenching her small hands together as her eyes stayed on the broken front window of the old rundown place as if she were contemplating something. Maybe she was. That or she was preparing herself to go inside. Maybe her dad wasn’t even home. I don’t really know, but it didn’t sit right with me. And I didn’t push her to get out either being as late as it was. Maybe I was hoping she would confide in me, tell me that something was wrong, but nothing. When her hand went to the door handle, her lips parted slightly as she tipped her head and that was when I damn near lost it. There had to be something going on in that house. Something that wasn’t good at all. And I really thought she was going to blurt it out, tell me what it was. Instead, she choked out a thank you, told me how much she really enjoyed the trip even though she had to pee outside, sleep outside, and eat food that tasted like complete shit. Hell, she didn’t even care she had nasty mud and manure caked on her clothing, dirt under her fingernails, or that her hair hadn’t been brushed since we left the house. She didn’t care, but then
again, I hadn’t seen her laugh or smile that much since Will started bringing her around. Nothing that was forced, anyway.  

Tu
cking into my heavy wool, I slipped my hands into the pockets and hit the remote to my truck causing the engine to rev to life. Knocking the blades to my wipers down onto the frosted windshield, I cursed as I kicked at the tire. What luck. It was only the start of December and already negative twenty degrees out. This winter was going to be one of the worse ones that I could remember. And with winter being this cruel to us, it would be devastating to the herd. Plus, I was short help as it was with my dad breaking his leg a few days ago when he slipped in the barn. 

Catching something move out of the corner of my eye, my heart jumped a little. Looking back down the road, I sucked in a deep breath. Whatever it was, it was bigger than a small animal. Maybe a dog had been out and its paws froze. Getting into my truck, I headed down the road to see if I could find what it was. There was something and I could see the drag marks in the snow.

Stopping along the road, I pulled out my large flashlight and looked out my window. There was something larger than a dog and seemed as if it had been dragged. Leaving the truck running and in park, I gritted my teeth and got out, hoping like hell it wasn’t something that would kill me. There had been moose in town before and one would run me down in a heartbeat. That wasn’t anything new. We had that happen a couple times already since I could remember. It couldn’t be a bear because the bears were in hibernation now.

Biting my lip, I followed the marks and rounded the corner to the house. Her house. The run down, shabby place I dropped her off at all the time. The back steps had been broken and the track led right under there. A soft whimper had come out from the darkness making me just sick. It wasn’t an animal at all. It could be a dog, but for some sickening feeling that grew more and more with each noise, it wasn’t. Crouching down, I held my flashlight out
and saw the stocking foot sticking out and shaking.

Grabbing it, I tugged the body out from under the porch as she just laid there not even giving any fight. It was her. It was Will’s damn classmate and the girl I last saw a little over a week ago. “Emmerson, it’s Paul, Will’s brother. I’m going to….”

Exposing her, my stomach turned violently wanting to bring all the contents of my dinner up. Hell, she was wearing a pair of thin black leggings and a long sleeved tee shirt. No shoes, no jacket, nothing but a pair of damn socks. Her fingers were so cold they were blue. Her lips were chapped and the markings on her puffy bright red face didn’t look like marks made by her crawling under the broken porch. Her hair was so matted and there were frozen chunks of something tangled within it. Hell, there were icicles hanging from her long lashes and even with her fighting to look at me, her eyes kept rolling back. Little frozen gasps came from her—so painful, so forceful, I wanted to just throw up. 

There was no way that I could let her go back to her house. She needed help. If she was just locked out, I could bring her home to our place until her dad got home. But this…this wasn’t just being locked out. There was really something going on in that house just like I knew there was. I should have checked on her. I should have just sat her down and made her talk to me. As much as my dad reminded me if I saw anything that looked suspicious, I needed to tell him. Right now, there would be no way in hell I would stand to let her go back to that house. She hadn’t been locked out just for a little while. No, this was a long time. Way too long. And with her being as smart as she was, she would have gone somewhere warm. Emmy wasn’t stupid or close to it. If this was as
simple as accidently locking the door behind her, she would have gone to city hall where the first door was always left unlocked and it was warm in there. Not to count all the times I reminded her if she ever needed anything to just call me or Will or Rob. This was not an accident and I knew I had to make my dad see that.  

Carefully, I picked her up and brought her back to my truck. Putting her in, I gritted my teeth. Her damn shirt was frozen. It was frozen! She was out in that weather dressed in practically nothing!

Putting her in the seat, I grabbed my jacket from the back seat and covered her up with it while watching her just slump onto the console in between the seat. Good God! What in the hell was going on? Why hadn’t she said anything? If she needed help, she could have talked to us. I told her that over and over, though I made sure I didn’t just blurt it out. In a roundabout way, I told her, but she knew. I saw it in her eyes. Maybe that was why she took forever to get out of my truck when I brought her home all those times. She wanted to tell me. She wanted to confide in me, but she was scared and didn’t know how.

Going around, I got in the driver’s seat and turned the heat on high. Keeping my eye on the house, I chewed my bottom lip. The curtains hung in the windows haphazardly. One of the windows had a crack that was taped with some clear packing tape and that was it. Another reason to be thankful that we had a nice house. But there was no sign of her dad. No sign of someone looking for their child. Not one care. He was home. He had to be home. There was a little flicker of lighting coming from a back room.