Divided (15 page)

Continuing to dance with Ryan, I could only think about what Michael had said. Could this man holding me really love me? Could I really love him? What did I get myself into? When the band sang their last song, we said our goodbyes to everyone. Ryan’s mother wrapped her arms tightly around me giving me the biggest hug I’d ever received.

After our farewells, we headed back to my hotel room, the drive home I nagged him with questions about the foundation and his brother. As he answered I stared at the clock on the dashboard, with each passing second, I counted the time we had left together, each minute seeming to slip away.

Walking into the lobby Ryan abruptly stopped. “So this is it.” He said looking away from me. “I hope you had fun on your trip. I hope it was worth it.”

I took his hand in mine and looked at him with reverence. “I had an amazing time. Words can’t describe how much all of this has meant to me. Thank you again for everything.” I swallowed and forced back the tears that were forming in my eyes, pulling him closer. “Ryan, promise me we’ll stay in contact.” He pulled away slightly and his eyes met mine before he slowly nodded.

“I promise, Bug.” He pulled me back in and hugged me tight. I held on, not wanting to let go of him, the moment, or the feeling in my heart. 

As he pulled away with our faces were passing each other, I saw the only opportunity I would have again to kiss him. I pulled his face to mine as our lips crashed into one another. I kissed him with a hunger that I had had for him since we first met. My lips parted for him, allowing his tongue to invade my mouth, twisting and turning with mine. A soft whimper escaped me, my mouth submitting to his. His kiss was better than anything I could have ever imagined, soft, but fueling the inferno in my core. Ryan reached around and grabbed the nape of my neck, deepening our kiss. His passion showing as his tongue explored deeper into my mouth. He gently bit down on my lower lip, just before he pulled away to kiss my cheek and then my lips again.
Definitely toe curling.

Both of his hands were on the either side of my face, our foreheads met and we took in the moment, both panting for air. My body had ignited for him in that moment, but now, sad tears fell down my face. Ryan grabbed my chin, pulling it up to him; he wiped my tears away and kissed my forehead, the tip on my nose, then my lips.

“I’m really going to miss you.” I said softly.

“I’m going to miss you too, Bug.” His whispered back, his voice low. 

The world around us vanished. I took a deep breath and locked my eyes with his one last. “With a goodnight kiss.” I said kissing his lips one last time before turning and walking towards the elevator. I felt him watch me as I walked away. I didn’t look back. I couldn’t. I knew that if I looked back I would never be able to let him go.

The door closed and I couldn’t help touching my lips. Needing something to take away the emptiness, I decided to order something sweet from room service when I got to my room.

I knew that I had created a powerful friendship with Ryan that would last a lifetime. That these past two weeks had changed me in more ways than one and in that knowledge, I was able to let go of the fear and pain that I had felt and I was able to feel alive again. I was able to act like a kid at a water park and I realized that running was now my serenity, a way to keep me balanced.

It had been two weeks and in those fourteen days I had felt more emotions than in my entire lifetime. I would never forget the time I spent with Ryan. The feelings that I had for him were still all confused in my head and I didn’t know where to even begin the processing part of it. So for now I would think of him as a dear friend, one who had captured my heart in more ways than he would ever know.

After I called for room service, I began to run a bath. After adding in the bubbles, there was a knock at the door. Jumping up, I opened the door and my heart stopped beating. There standing in front of me was Ryan pushing what I’d assumed to be my room service cart.

“Hi.” I said, my voice barely audible.

Chapter 9
Hold it Until it Hurts

 
H
e tried to push the cart in but I couldn’t move. I stood in front of him completely shocked that he was even here. “I let you walk out of my life before. I won’t let you walk away from me again.” He said pushing the cart to the side.

It was all he needed to say before I was leaping into his arms. Our bodies crashed into one another just as our lips met and I savored his lips on mine. This kiss wasn’t like the one we shared down stairs; it was soft but filled with hunger. Downstairs, our first kiss had been passionate, a farewell kiss. But this one; he was marking his territory, claiming my lips as his.

My body slammed into the wall behind me, causing a whimper to escape my lips. Ryan’s lips found my neck giving me what I wanted, needed, craved. Guiding me off of the wall he pushed us into the room, kicking the door shut behind him, my room service all but forgotten. My body starved with want, everything about him was making my body ache, demanding for his touch. Placing his hand on my shoulder, he moved them down slowly over my body. Causing me to ignite at his every touch. Never losing eye contact with me, he took my wrist in his hands, pulling them above my head.  Pulling away from me to look at my eyes, admiration spread across his face, his eyes burning with want.

“Turn around.” He demanded

It was a command that my body instantly obeyed.  His voice was strong with authority. He pulled my hair to the right side of my shoulder kissing the side of my neck. Goosebumps exploded up all around my body. The sound of the television didn’t matter; nothing mattered to me at this moment beside him. His hand slowly reached for the zipper on my dress. As he eased it down, he planted soft kisses from my neck to my shoulders. 

My dress dropped to the floor and I turned to face him.  Thanking god for the matching lace panties and bra that hugged my curves perfectly. My body blushed in front of him. “You are so beautiful,” he said pulling my lips to his. I was at his mercy. My hand instantly wrapped around his neck pulling him closer to me. When the back of my knees hit the bed, he pulled away. A silent question appeared on my face.
What was he doing
?

“One second, Bug. I don’t want to have a flood problem.” He quickly ran to the bathroom and turned off the water. I had completely forgotten about the bath. I patiently waited for him to come back, arousal pooling in between my legs.

“Where were we?” He said, sauntering back into the room, biting his lower lip, his voice hoarse.

“You were right about here.” I said reaching for his suit jacket. Quickly removing and tossing it to the ground near my dress. I reach for his loosened tie and tossed it near his jacket. Unbuttoning every button on his shirt, I took my time. Letting each button torture the both of us.  His dark chocolate eyes locked on mine.

He licked his lower lip and lowered himself to kiss me when an idea popped into my head. Dropping to my knees, I reached for his belt.

“Alani…” He whispered under his breath shaking his head at me.

I bit my lips and looked up at him. “Just a quick taste.” I whispered back, I pulled down his pants and reached for his boxers. His erection sprang free and I admired his length, stiffness, and thickness. My mouth watered. Ryan was not one to disappoint in the size department. Pulling him in my hand, I jerked him back and forth as he hardened even more. I licked my lips and slowly opened my mouth around him. The moans coming from him drove me wild. I pushed him deeper in my throat, relaxing and allowing him to go even deeper. I locked my lips around him and slowly pulled him out.

“Oh God …” he groaned.

Laying my tongue flat against the underside of his penis, adding pressure to his head, I slowly put him in my mouth again. His hand reached around and grabbed my face guiding me. I felt myself growing wet for him. Sliding my tongue up and down his shaft, bringing him deeper each time.

Pulling my face away from him, he lifted me to my feet. “I want to finish buried deep inside of you.” He said, as he placed a warm wet kiss on my lips.

Facing him, he gently unhooked my bra lightly pushing me back to fall on the soft pillow-top mattress. I didn’t have time to fully process the fact that he was on top of me before his lips were immediately locked to mine. He kissed my cheek, my neck and my collarbone; grabbing my breasts with his hands he kissed each one of them in turn. His tongue provided ecstasy to my nipples and I was unable to control the whimpers that came out of my mouth. Ryan slid down and kissed a pathway to my belly button and then he continued lower to the top on my panties.

“I want to taste you so badly,” he looked up at me as if to ask for permission. I bit my bottom lip. I wanted this more than I wanted my next breath. I wanted his lips and tongue devouring my core, exposing my weakness and capturing my soul. I nodded, and with deliberate ease, he pulled down my panties and pushed my legs apart. His thumb slowly rubbed against my swollen clit; I pulled back, a tremor speeding down my spine. His hand began to slowly rub against my swollen nub.

“Bug,” he whispered before his mouth covered my core and I nearly explode at the feel of him on my clit. His tongue savoring every part of me.

“You taste better than that brownie sundae you ordered.” I blushed at his comment. His tongue played with my clit over and over and I couldn’t hold it anymore. I felt my body tighten.

“That’s it, Bug, hold it until it hurts.” I did as he said. I held the need to let go. I held it until it consumed me. When the pleasure I felt was too painful, I exhaled and let go. My body shook against his tongue. He continued to lick slower as he rode my climax with me. The pressure of his tongue slowly licking against me, causing my body to shake. Reaching for him, I pulled his head away from my core, my head crashing into the pillow. The aftershock of my powerful orgasm lasted longer than I had ever experienced.

Opening my eyes I was greeted by Ryan’s breathtaking smile. I couldn’t help but stare at his lips, moist with my wetness. I pulled him to me and kissed my juices off of him. Tasting myself mixed with Ryan was turning me on even more.

“Bug, I need to be inside of you.” He said, before he claimed my lips again, biting softly on my lower lip.

The pain I felt caused shocks of pleasure to wash through me. “Take me,” I said between breaths.

Ryan pulled away and positioned himself right above me; I spread my legs for him, waiting with anticipation, the cool sheets under me calming the heat that was running through me. He slowly pushed inside filling every part of me with every inch of himself. As he leaned down into me, I wrapped my arms around him, his forehead pressed against mine. Moving in and out of me, slow moans escaped our mouths. Our eyes stayed locked on each other as his lips pressed on mine.

“Ryan,” I whispered.

“Bug, you are so tight; so sweet, so beautiful.” He said between our gentle kisses.

Pumping harder into me, I could feel myself tightening around him. Reveling in his thickness I opened wider for him, arching my back and allowing him to hit a different angle. His body shook; pulling out of me he sat back on the bed.

“What? What’s wrong?” I said sitting up, missing him inside of me. “Do you not want to do this?”

I looked down at his stiff erection wet with my arousal. Exhaling slowly and calmly he spoke. “No, nothing is wrong; of course I want this.” He said moving the hair away from my face. “I was just… I…need a second.” He ran his hands though his hair. “ I don’t want to go just yet.” He admitted.

Wrapping my hand around him, I jerked him towards me, “Ryan, it’s fine, we can do this more than once you know?”

“I know we can and we will, you just feel… so damn good.” He smiled.

I continued to play with him grabbing him tightly with my fingers. I crawled up on my knees and met his lips with mine. “Why don’t you think about baseball or getting a root canal?” I joked.

He looked around the room clearing his head, his eyes stopped on my nightstand; I saw exactly what he was looking at.
Crap
. I had left my
Lelo
box out. I prayed he wouldn’t know what it was and kissed his neck hoping to distract him.

“Is that what I think it is?” He questioned.
Crap… busted.

“What do you think it is?” I continued to place feather light kisses along his neck.

“Alani?”

I sighed. “Yes, it is. Katie gave it to me as a bachelorette gift. A stress reliever” I shrugged. He reached for the box and I grabbed him. “What are you doing?”

He smiled and opened the box. “Ah, at least it isn’t a big giant dildo that could put me to shame. Do you mind if I use it on you?” He asked.

Shocked by what he said I shook my head lying back on the bed.  He pressed the top button and it began to vibrate in his hand.  It was a clitoris vibrator but extremely powerful. He placed it right in my center and my body instantly constricted, pleasure building deep in my belly. I closed my eyes as he moved himself on top of me.

“Open your legs wider baby.” He said. I could no longer focus on what he was saying and instinctively I obeyed and spread my legs for him. He knelt over me, sliding himself up and down my core before entering. Not as gentle as before, he slammed into me as he held my vibrator right on top of my clit. Hitting the perfect spot. The feeling of both of them was indescribable. I felt my vaginal walls pulse around him, knowing I was getting tighter as my climax was nearing. He clicked the button again and the vibration quickened, he clicked it one more time and as the vibration sped up even more, he pounded himself into me faster.

“Fuck!” I screamed. “Ryan, please don’t stop… oh my fucking… yes, right there! Oh fuck...”

I couldn’t hold it any longer. The orgasm was just too intense. I exploded around him, my body shattering into a million pieces. He pulled the vibrator away from my clit but continued to pump hard and vigorous, making my climax last that much longer. Breathless, I wrapped my legs around him stopping him. He fell onto me and kissed me deeply and passionately. Kissing my cheek he whispered in my ear, “Turn around.”