Diva Diaries (24 page)
Authors: Janine A. Morris
47
While Supplies Last
S
he didn't quite know how she got there, but Dakota was right back in her routine with Tony. Him coming by when he could, them speaking on the phone at least every other day. Whatever he could give her, is what she had to take. Her hope of having him all to herself seemed more and more unlikely. Tony's label was getting bigger, and so was heâright before her eyes. He signed two new acts; his first act, Shadiya, had two hit singles on the radio and BET and MTV, and she was nominated for best new artist at the BET awards. It was really good for Tony, and for Dakota, too, since Touchdown Records was a client of hers. It was just that the more he dealt with that, the less he dealt with Dakota. It was enough to share him with his daughter's mother, but she knew he was getting friendly with more and more girls.
he didn't quite know how she got there, but Dakota was right back in her routine with Tony. Him coming by when he could, them speaking on the phone at least every other day. Whatever he could give her, is what she had to take. Her hope of having him all to herself seemed more and more unlikely. Tony's label was getting bigger, and so was heâright before her eyes. He signed two new acts; his first act, Shadiya, had two hit singles on the radio and BET and MTV, and she was nominated for best new artist at the BET awards. It was really good for Tony, and for Dakota, too, since Touchdown Records was a client of hers. It was just that the more he dealt with that, the less he dealt with Dakota. It was enough to share him with his daughter's mother, but she knew he was getting friendly with more and more girls.
They went to a party earlier in the week, and there was a woman there that she knew he'd had sex with. Dakota could just tell by the way they were dealing with each other, and the way she was looking at her. She didn't care, though; Dakota's look back at her said, You see who he is here with, right? This type of stuff was common when you were hanging out with Tony, but a lot of these women were from his all-star pro-football days. Dakota knew the woman wanted him and wanted to be her, so she didn't mind.
There were things, though, about their situation that she just couldn't take. Last night Tony came by to spend the night with her. After having a few drinks and watching a porno, they got into some real good, kinky sex. He was flipping her around the bedroom, she had some toys out, and they were both hot and sweaty. By the time they were done, she'd had two orgasms, and he'd had three. Once they were finished, they just lay in the bed butt-naked and relaxed. After about ten minutes, his phone rang. He took the call, had about a two-minute conversation, and ended it with,
I'll be there in a bit
. Dakota immediately got upset. When he hung up the phone, he explained that his old teammate was stuck on the side of the road and he needed Tony to come get him. She tried to remain calm and said OK, but it was hard. She knew that she'd heard a female voice through his phone.
I'll be there in a bit
. Dakota immediately got upset. When he hung up the phone, he explained that his old teammate was stuck on the side of the road and he needed Tony to come get him. She tried to remain calm and said OK, but it was hard. She knew that she'd heard a female voice through his phone.
She wasn't sure how much longer she and Tony would last. She wanted him as her husband if possible; she just didn't know how long she could tolerate this little of him. On nights like these, she wondered what was in it for her anymore, other than the good sex.
48
All Alike
I
just can't believe this is happening to me,” Chrasey said.
just can't believe this is happening to me,” Chrasey said.
She still wasn't used to waking up in her bed without Keith next to her. Every morning was a harsh reminder of what was going wrong in her life. Her marriage was in a terrible state to begin with, but she didn't imagine it getting worse. She definitely didn't imagine getting a divorce. Since they had lived together in such turmoil all this time, she just thought they would stay that way, for better or worse.
“Girl, this will work itself out. He is just mad right now,” Dakota consoled to Chrasey on the phone.
“I don't know. It wasn't like we were happy to begin withâthis just confirms for him that our marriage isn't going to work. Besides, he already said he wants a divorce, and it really did sound like he meant it.”
“I don't know what is wrong with these men,” Jordan interjected.
Dakota, Chrasey, and Jordan were sitting at home on a three-way call. They were making plans to meet up for dinner later and got caught up in their conversation.
“They just need time to calm down, and eventually ... hopefully they will come to their senses. With Keith, maybe he will finally realize the things he did and didn't do that caused you to step outside the marriage,” Dakota declared.
“I know it's too late to say this, but there really is no excuse for stepping out ...” Chrasey started to say.
“Yeah, you're right. It's too late for that now, because you wasn't saying that when Mr. Trevor was doing you right ... and don't even front like you don't miss him, because he had you open,” Dakota said quite frankly.
After a moment's hesitation, Chrasey replied, “I do. That's the crazy part. I don't know who I miss more.”
“Well, maybe that's what you need to do. Maybe you need to realize what you really want. Figure out whether you really want your marriage and if it's the right reason, because maybe Keith is right then, and maybe it is time to let go.”
Jordan hadn't said much the whole conversation. She was in a weird place and didn't really know what to say about anything. It wasn't like Jordan to be at a loss for words, but her feelings toward everything had her mind racing, and it was too many thoughts to share. So she just remained quiet, trying to figure out her own thoughts. She was paying only slight attention to the conversation.
“Jordan, what do you think? You think Keith and Omar ran away together?” Chrasey asked, trying to find some humor in the situation.
“I wish I knew, Chrase. At least you know Keith's exact issue. Omar just up and leftâI don't know what is on his mind.”
“Yeah, but at least you know Omar just needs some time to get over it. Keith has every right to walk away.”
“According to Omar, so does he.”
“Look, fuck them both, and my part-time boyfriend Tony. It can just be the three of usâwe don't need their asses,” Dakota blurted out.
They all laughed.
“That's rightâwhat do they do for us, anyway, but cause us heartache and insecurity,” Chrasey said.
“Yeah, I know. Mine can't even appreciate a good, strong black womanâwants to make everything an issue. He acts like a girl, with the little fits he throws,” Jordan said.
“Well, let them walk out, disappear, threaten divorce, all of that. We will just have our time, too,” Dakota said.
It sounded good, but all three of them knew they wanted their men back. Dakota was trying to convince herself that she didn't need Tony, and she wasn't even married nor did she have a kid. Jordan and Chrasey had a lot more to considerâthey didn't spend all that money on those weddings, share their lives with and have kids with their husbands just to let them go that easy. So although it was a cool thought to talk some sister strength and how we can do without them, they all knew they didn't want to.
“Look on the bright sideâwe all have reserves if we need them. I have a phonebook full, Chrasey, you got Trevor, and Jordan, I know you may not really have anyone, but Jayon always fits the bill quite nicely,” Dakota offered. She laughed at her own comment, and Chrasey joined her. Even Jordan started to laugh at that one.
“Shut up, 'Kota, I will be just fine. I know that Omar better have his butt home before I need any of that.”
“Just don't forget, in case of emergency, break the glass.”
A few minutes later they got off the phone. They had managed to make each other laugh and feel a little bit better about their situations. That's what they were there for, to be that shoulder to cry on.
When they were in college, they used to have a sisters' soiree Saturday once a month. It was with their friends from school, but they were the three organizers. They would share their stories about guys on campus, their boyfriends and whatever else was going on. The rest of the group would give advice, and make jokes and whatever else. The purpose of this meeting was to keep each other cheered up and looking on the bright side. It used to really do wonders for all the girls that came, because even if it didn't solve their problems it gave them a chance to laugh and see that they weren't the only ones with issues. That was in college, but even as grownups, it still helped to have their sisters' soiree, even with just the three of them.
49
Friends That Pray Together, Stay Together
I
t had been a rough week. Today would make a full week since Omar packed up his stuff and left. It hadn't quite hit Jordan yet that this could be something permanent, and it hadn't been easy, either. This was typical of Omar, though. When they were dating he would just not call or come by for weeks until he got over his anger. He would hang up the phone in the middle of arguments and just not be heard from for days. He had this habit of running and hidingâand he just thought when he was over it everything would be cool. Jordan used to tell him back then that it was the most selfish behavior. He had a partner, and that wasn't acceptable. He would apologize, they would get back together, but when the going got tough he would do it again.
t had been a rough week. Today would make a full week since Omar packed up his stuff and left. It hadn't quite hit Jordan yet that this could be something permanent, and it hadn't been easy, either. This was typical of Omar, though. When they were dating he would just not call or come by for weeks until he got over his anger. He would hang up the phone in the middle of arguments and just not be heard from for days. He had this habit of running and hidingâand he just thought when he was over it everything would be cool. Jordan used to tell him back then that it was the most selfish behavior. He had a partner, and that wasn't acceptable. He would apologize, they would get back together, but when the going got tough he would do it again.
So this didn't surprise her, but it still had her very pissed off. Not to mention their child, who was being affected. He spent most of the evenings with her mother until she came to pick him up. It was a different routine for him, and he was used to having Omar around.
It was Sunday, and Jason and Jordan sat in church like most Sundays. This morning she was really praying that the pastor would give her some words of encouragement to get through this. She was clapping and praising, and trying just to become one with the Spirit. In church she always got the message that everything was going to be just fine, and she was trying to engrave it in her brain. She had got so engrossed listening for the message that she didn't even see Jayon excusing himself down the pew until he reached her and sat beside her.
“Hey, Jayon,” she said. She was beyond happy to see him.
“Hey, J,” he said as he patted Jason on the head.
Jordan had no idea Jayon was coming hereâthey hadn't talked since Friday at work. He knew that she usually went to church on Sundays, and what church she went to; it seemed that he just decided to pop up and look for her.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
“I'm coming to praise the Lord,” he said sarcastically. “How you holding up?” he whispered as he patted Jason on the head again.
“I'm hanging in there,” she whispered back, trying not to speak too loud to annoy the people sitting around them.
He looked in her eyes and saw pain. Then he patted her leg as if to say
I'm here for you
. After he conveyed his silent message, he looked forward toward Rev. Flake; he was preaching about the quality of life. Jason sat there scribbling on the tithe envelopes, and she sat there receiving her message for the week. She also realized that despite what Omar may have conjured up in his mind, Jayon was a great friend and helped her quality of life.
I'm here for you
. After he conveyed his silent message, he looked forward toward Rev. Flake; he was preaching about the quality of life. Jason sat there scribbling on the tithe envelopes, and she sat there receiving her message for the week. She also realized that despite what Omar may have conjured up in his mind, Jayon was a great friend and helped her quality of life.
Church let out about 1:10, and as they exited the pew she heard Jayon ask Jason if he wanted to go to IHOP. That was the setupâask Jason, because of course he would say yes. Once Jason was eager to go, Jordan, too, agreed. She put Jason in his booster seat, jumped in the driver's seat, and followed Jayon down Merrick Boulevard. It tickled Jordan how Jayon knew the neighborhood so well. Jayon was from the Bronx, but he had spent so much time in Queens since they'd met back in college, he knew the area like it was his own. They pulled up to IHOP and of course, like most IHOPs on a Sunday afternoon, it was crowded. She told Jayon they didn't have to wait, that Jason would be just fine, but he insisted. He claimed that he didn't want to make an empty promise to Jason, but she had a feeling he really wanted to pick her brain.
They finally got seated after half an hour, and now she was really hungry, too. They ordered their breakfasts and she and Jason sipped on chocolate milk while Jayon sipped on orange juice. Once their meals were ordered, and Jason was busy coloring, Jayon looked at Jordan and said, “You have been on my mind all weekend.”
“I'm fine, Jay, really.”
“No, you're not. You're trying to remain tough but this isn't courtâit's OK to show emotion.”
“Listen, Jay, I'm pissed, if you want to know, but I can't let it stop me.”
“I'm not saying it should stop you, but take a minute to address it.”
“What is there to address? That I married a big child who can't take the heat?” Jayon looked over at Jason, and she caught herself.
“See, I don't want to talk about this.”
“Jordan, he is doing what he feels he needs to do,” Jayon said dangerously, defending Omar.
“Exactly, and not what
we
need to do. It's always been about him, and I see that now even more.”
we
need to do. It's always been about him, and I see that now even more.”
“So what are you thinking?” he asked her.
“I'm thinking he can stay wherever he is at, because I don't need the extra stress in my life. Your husband should be a friend and someone who supports youâhe hasn't been that for some time.”
“He probably feels like you haven't been much of a wife, either, and I didn't help the situation.”
“No, you didn't,” she said, laughing.
“I'm sorry, Jordan, I really am.”
“You don't have to beâyou didn't do anything.”
“You didn't, either. I know better than anybody you wouldn't ever have cheated on him.”
“That's the problem,
he
should know better than anybody.”
he
should know better than anybody.”
Jayon didn't have a reply, and Jordan didn't want to say too much more in front of Jason. So they ate their food and left it alone. What remained to be seen is what Omar was going to do. She couldn't make any decisions until she knew what was on his mind. Like she told Jayon, at this point all she could think about was how pissed she was, and she prayed that God gave her enough strength to cleanse her heart.
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