Disclosures - SF4 (31 page)

Ryan leaned over the bucket seat and kissed him on the cheek. "I really appreciate it that you stick up for me, Brendan, but I can handle this."

He nodded briefly, but added, "You couldn’t handle it very well at the time, Sis." His blue eyes were clouded with anger, and Ryan realized that it was a losing effort to try to get him to forgive the woman.

"I truly appreciate that I can count on all of my big brothers," she said sincerely, deciding to let it go.

"You know, Jamie," he said. "The O'Flaherty brothers will take care of you, too. Just tell us who you want to get rid of, and they're gone!"

"I could have used you last year to get rid of my roommate," she teased. "But I don't currently have a hit list."

"So, did you give her an earful?" Brendan asked hopefully.

"No, of course not. I owe Sara and her mother an eternal debt of gratitude."

"Well, I don't think you owe them a darn thing," Jamie said. "I find it unconscionable to turn your back on a hurt and confused 17-year-old. I don't care what the circumstances were. You figure out a way to stay connected with the child, even if it's difficult. I blame Mrs. Andrews much more than I do Sara. She was old enough to know better."

"Hear, hear!" Brendan said enthusiastically. "My sentiments, exactly."

Ryan smiled at the thought that she hadn’t just gained a lover: she now had another member of her protection squad. "The funny part is that Sara went to Stanford for law school. She's in the same class as Jamie's former fiancé."

"Great. More lawyers," he said with a decided lack of enthusiasm.

Jamie had to rush to get over to Olympic for her golf game with her father, but that didn’t stop her from peppering Ryan with questions while she changed clothes. "How do you feel about seeing Sara's mom? Was that the first time you've seen her since?"

"Yep," Ryan said. "I stopped going to 9:30 Mass immediately, since that’s when the Andrews went. I spent the summer in Ireland, so I didn't see her then, either. By the time I got back I had pretty much stopped going to church, so this was the first time I've spoken to her in six years. Gosh, that seems like a long time," she said as she shook her head, remembering the innocent, impressionable young woman she had been at the time.

"Are you at all interested in what Sara's like?" Jamie asked tentatively, wriggling into a pair of close-fitting golf slacks.

Ryan thought about that for a few minutes. "I guess I am," she finally said. "I don't want to see her or anything, but she was an incredibly big part of my life. I would like to see what kind of person she became."

"I understand how you feel," Jamie said softly. "Just because you don’t love someone any longer, you still care about them."

Ryan looked at her with compassion. "I know you do, Honey. You, more than anyone, knows how it feels."

"Do you think Mrs. Andrews watched us after she knew it was you?" Jamie asked.

"I assume she did, why?"

"I was just marveling at how people make reality fit their expectations. You and I were clearly the primary caregivers for Caitlin. I was touching your face in a very loving manner when she came up. She might have even seen Caitlin trying to nurse on you! Yet she assumed that she was my daughter and that Brendan was my husband.
That just amazes me!"

"It makes it even weirder since she knows I'm gay," Ryan agreed. "Maybe it makes a little more sense that Sara was so freaked out. Mrs. Andrews might not be the woman I thought she was."

"Maybe," Jamie agreed. "And I still would like to give both of them a pop," she said with green eyes flashing as she slapped her open palm with her closed fist.

"I've got nothing but champions," Ryan teased as she draped her arm around her defender for a gentle goodbye kiss
.

After Jamie left, Ryan went upstairs to get some lunch started and was surprised to see her father and her aunt enter the house together. "Where’ve you been, Da? I expected you when I got up this morning."

"The lads were out battling a blaze until four this morning," he said, suppressing a yawn. "I got up and started a big breakfast for them and then stayed to help clean up. Nothing worse than coming on duty to a mess like that to clean." Ryan smiled at him, admiring her father for giving up his time to help the next shift get started smoothly.

"Did you go to Mass?"

"Yes. I was a shade late for 9:30, so I went to 11:00, and stayed around to offer my sister-in-law a ride home."

"He stayed and helped us clean up is what he did," Maeve scoffed, giving him a mock annoyed look. "You don’t have to clean up after every assemblage of people in San Francisco, Martin."

He shrugged his shoulders and reached for the baby who was squirming in Ryan’s arms. "I enjoy it," he said simply as he made his way for the kitchen. "What would everyone like for lunch?"

"I’d like to make lunch for you," Ryan insisted, brushing past her father. "You and Aunt Maeve go sit on the porch and I’ll cook for a change. Go on," she shooed them out of the kitchen, but Caitlin did not want to follow. Rather than force the issue, Ryan allowed her to sit on the floor and play with her toys, Duffy agreeing to help her watch the little one.

It was a bit more difficult than she had anticipated, avoiding six feet and one tail as she moved around the large kitchen, but she managed to get a plate of sandwiches and bowls of soup prepared without stepping on any of them. Caitlin’s new trick was to grab on to a pant leg to hold herself up, and Ryan patiently let her use her leg as they walked slowly and haltingly into the dining room.

Martin heard the door from the kitchen swing open, and he stood in the dining room and laughed at the sight. The baby was trying to walk between Ryan’s long legs, each of her chubby little hands grasping a handful of Ryan’s pants. At the rate they were traveling, it would take them ten minutes to get to the table, but Ryan was holding the tray of sandwiches in her hands, and she couldn’t rush the baby along. Duffy was so close behind them that his nose was pressed against the back of Ryan’s calf, his big body only halfway through the door by the time Martin got there to assist.

"Do you ever wonder how your mother got a thing done?" he laughed, taking the tray and placing it on the table.

Ryan actually hadn’t wondered about that question, but she did now. She imagined what it must have been like to have a six-year-old, a four-year-old, a two-year-old and an infant all clustered around her while she tried to prepare a meal. "I don’t think I’d have the patience to do that," she mused, swooping Caitlin into her arms.

"You do what you have to do," Martin insisted. "If I had to do it over again, I think we might have spaced you all out a little bit more, just for your mother’s sake, but when you got older it was nice to have you so close in age."

Ryan mulled that thought over while they all dug in, pausing to consider that if her parents had planned their family, they would likely have run out of time before they had her. "What would the perfect space between kids be?" she asked thoughtfully.

Maeve laughed at the question, reminding her niece, "You’ve come to the wrong place to get family planning advice, Sweetheart. None of us knew a thing about that entire topic! We just took what the good Lord gave us."

Ryan was a little surprised at this, always having assumed that at least her Aunt Maeve had used some sort of birth control. She had only three children, and they were spaced at least three years apart, something that Ryan guessed would be hard to do without birth control. Not wanting to pry, she asked, "But if you were making a recommendation, what would you suggest?"

Maeve’s green eyes flickered with mirth as she teased, "Are you asking about anyone in particular, dear?"

"Yes, ma’am," Ryan nodded, her mouth curving into a smirk. "I’m speaking of myself."

"Are you ready to start down that path right now?" Martin’s eyes were wide, and he looked like he was controlling an urge to try and talk her out of any such plan.

"No, Da, don’t worry," she assured him. "I think we want to wait until we’re through with grad school. I’m actually more worried that we won’t have time to have all of the kids I want to have."

"Knowing how you feel about children, that wouldn’t surprise me in the least," he laughed. "You’d better make sure Jamie’s of the same mind, though. It might be tough for her to go from being an only child to having a house full of ruffians."

Ryan adopted an outraged look and demanded, "And just what makes you think my children will be ruffians?"

Both Martin and Maeve laughed at the thought. "Even if you weren’t related to the child, you could turn them into a ruffian. It’s one of your gifts," her father teased, speaking the absolute truth.

She rolled her eyes and shrugged her broad shoulders, conceding the point, since it was clear that she was well on the way to turning Caitlin into a ruffian. The baby was currently sitting on her lap, playing with some zwieback cookies that were no longer fit for human consumption since Duffy had already had them thrust into his mouth repeatedly. Ryan leaned over and whispered something in her ear, causing the baby to giggle at the tickling sensation. Looking up at her father, Ryan informed him, "Caitlin says she’s chosen a rather wild lifestyle all on her own. She assures me that I was not a major influence."

"Uh-huh," he grinned, "just wait until I get my report on your church attendance today, Siobhán. We’ll just see which of you was the instigator."

Ryan gave a mental sigh, knowing that her father wasn’t kidding about receiving a report. Martin was known to nearly everyone in the parish, and she knew that everyone from Father Pender on down would comment about her rare appearance at Mass. Somewhere in the report, someone would mention seeing her speak to Mary Elizabeth Andrews, so she thought it best to get that little bit of information out of the way immediately. "I uh…was surprised to find Mrs. Andrews sitting behind us today," she began.

In the blink of an eye Martin’s face grew grim and Ryan could see the anger welling up. "Well aren’t you the lucky one?" he snapped. "She avoids the rest of us like we’re lepers. I’ve seen that woman cross the entire church just to avoid leaving by the same door as I do."

Maeve looked at Ryan with a great deal of sadness in her dark green eyes. "Did you speak with her, dear?"

Ryan nodded. "Yes, Jamie and I did. Brendan gave her the cold shoulder though," she admitted.

"Good for him!" Martin insisted. "She deserves no better!"

Ryan gave him a long look and explained, "I don’t want to live like that, Da. I’m not willing to hide from people that might upset me. I’m really glad that we spoke." Turning to her aunt she asked, "Did you know Sara just graduated from Stanford law?"

Maeve nodded. "Yes, sweetheart, I did know that. Mary Elizabeth doesn’t speak to me personally, but I’ve heard updates about Sara from some of the other women." Looking at Ryan carefully she asked, "Should I have kept you informed of the things I heard?"

Ryan shook her head briskly, "No. I don’t think I was ready before. I think I am now, though." She was absently rubbing Caitlin’s unkempt blonde hair, causing the little green eyes to flutter closed. As Caitlin’s head dropped, Ryan shifted her small burden and drew her into the crook of her arm to better support her. "This is hard to explain, but being with Jamie has made me more confident about facing people that have hurt me in the past. I’m not sure why that is, but it was really okay to see Mrs. Andrews since I knew Jamie was there." She tilted her dark head and gazed at her aunt. "Do you know what I mean?"

Maeve closed her eyes as a knowing smile crossed her face. "I know exactly what you mean, Sweetheart. It’s a very nice feeling, isn’t it?"

Ryan’s beaming grin lit up the room. "It’s the best."

It was after one when they finished eating, and Ryan was anxious to do something physical. "I need to get outside and do something," she finally whined.

"You're just like a puppy, Darlin'," Martin said affectionately. "You just can't be cooped up too long, or you start chewing on the furniture."

"I thought I could take Caitlin to Golden Gate park," she suggested. "If I could borrow a truck, I could put her in her jogger and I could Rollerblade for a couple of hours."

"I've got a better idea," Maeve said. "Why don't I drive you, and I can take a leisurely walk while you two speed around."

"That works for me," Ryan said. "I'll run and change."

"Why don't you come with us?" Maeve asked Martin. "I wouldn't mind some company while I'm waiting for the girls to finish their run."

"I've nothing on the schedule," he admitted. "But I need to be home in time to make my baby's favorite meal tonight," he said as he gave his daughter a warm hug. "She's taking off again in the morning, and I want her to remember her old father for another week."

"If I’d known I'd get extra attention, I would have left home years ago," she said with a wink at her grinning aunt.

When Jamie entered the locker room at the club she nearly gasped when she saw Mia sitting patiently in front of her locker. "Took you long enough, James," she chided, jumping up and wrapping her friend in a hug.

"What are you doing here?" Jamie was truly flustered, and Mia enjoyed the atypical bout of inarticulateness that her surprise had caused.

"I decided to come home for the weekend, and my father suggested we get together with you and your dad for a game. I wanted it to be a surprise, so I didn’t call you. Surprised?" Her warm brown eyes sparkled as she reveled in her ability to put one over on her friend.

"Totally," Jamie agreed, giving her another generous hug. "I’ve missed you, Mia. There have been so many times in the past two weeks that I’ve wanted to share some things with you."

"Is everything okay?" she asked a bit anxiously, still holding Jamie in a loose embrace.

"Everything’s perfect." Jamie’s smile was very bright, and Mia delighted at seeing the sparkle in the green eyes.

"I’ve got a seven o’clock flight back to L.A.," Mia said. "How about giving me a ride to the airport so we can dish."

"You’re on, Buddy. I’ve got tons of stuff to tell you."

When the golf match ended, the young women said goodbye to their fathers and retired to the locker room. Very few of the women members used the spa and steam room, so they decided to spend some time relaxing in the deserted area before they had to leave for the airport. It was just three o’clock and they didn’t have to leave until five, so they had time to burn.

They were barely settled in the steaming spa when Mia turned to Jamie with a look of rapt interest. "Okay, girlfriend, spill it. I want everything—down to the dirtiest detail."

Jamie laughed at her usual directness and said, "I don't know where to start, Mia. I have never felt like this about anyone." She reached up and pushed her damp hair from her eyes, then took a drink from the lemonade they had carried into the spa area. "I had no idea what it felt like to really love someone."

"That's nice, Jamie. I'm really happy for you," she said mechanically. Then an impish grin crossed her face and she demanded, "Now tell me about the sex!"

"Is that all you ever think about?" she asked with a laugh.

"No, I have lots of things on my fertile mind. But sex is the only thing that interests me enough to get me up at nine a.m. on a Sunday to play golf!"

"I'm honored that you agreed to play with us," Jamie offered, acknowledging Mia’s uncharacteristic behavior, "but I thought that perhaps you were interested in seeing me just for me."

"You know I'm teasing, James. But I am dying to know!"

"Okay," Jamie said thoughtfully, deciding that she wanted to share some of her feelings with her old friend. "It’s better than I could have imagined, Mia," she sighed. "I mean, I know I loved Jack, and I know that we did make love—but it honestly feels like what Ryan and I do together is a whole different kind of act. She's so loving and caring and patient with me. I've just never felt safer or more protected than when I'm lying in her arms. It’s funny," she mused. "We can be lying together so peacefully, feeling all safe and loved, and two seconds later she can get that gleam in her eyes and just drive me insane. She is absolutely irresistible, Mia!"

"I’m really happy for you, James," she said with a smirk. "Although I’d love some details, I get the feeling that you’re not going to give ‘em up today."

Jamie smiled back, acknowledging that she wasn’t willing to share the details of her life with Ryan. "It’s different when you really love someone, Mia. It’s just too intimate to talk about with anyone. Do you understand?"

"I do," she admitted. "You’ll notice that I never told you any details about being with Jason—until I knew it was just about over."

"I’m glad you understand," she said fondly. "I don’t want you to feel left out."

"No, I’m cool," she said happily, looking very much so. "What’s the plan for the rest of the summer--are you just going to hang out and make love?"

Jamie smiled serenely and shook her head a little. "I wish we could. But I think we’re both ready to move on with the things we want to accomplish this summer. I’m thinking of telling my parents about us soon."