Dirty Crown: A Bad Boy Secret Baby Royal Romance (with BONUS book - Rebel Rockstar!) (11 page)

I
t isn’t
until I’m dropping Lily and Faith off back at their home that I start to feel that desperate need to never leave them again.

I feel like I haven’t had nearly enough time with them, and I know that I need to return home once more very soon to sort out all of this engagement mess. I need to put a stop to it before it goes too far, and while I’m hiding out in America, all sorts could be going on behind my back.

I suddenly can’t cope with that, I can barely even breathe with the crushing knowledge that we’ll be on opposite sides of the world once more, unsure of when we’ll see each other again.

No, I can’t have it. I won’t stand it. Not again.

“Will you come to the UK with me?” I suddenly hear myself asking, completely irrationally and out of the blue.

“Just for… a little while.” I trail off, suddenly realizing how rash and idiotic I sound.

Faith shoots me an understandable shocked look, as if I’ve suddenly grown extra limbs or something, but Lily grows increasingly excited with each passing second.

“In England? Where you castle is? Can we see it? Will I get to see your crown?” She can barely contain herself, which fills me with even more anxiety.

If Faith turns me down, which there’s a very big chance that she will, then Lily will be crushed and she might not ever want to see me again.

I might have just made the biggest cock up ever.

“I… I…” Faith’s eyes flicker everywhere as the panic starts to eat her up.

I feel really guilty, and I pointlessly wish that I could take the words back to save this mess. I’ve just messed up one of the happiest days of my entire life, and there’s nothing I can do to take that back.

“I don’t know what to say, this is all a bit much.”

“Can we go mummy? Can we? Can we?” Lily persists, refusing to be deterred by her mother’s obvious caution.

“Do you have to go back already?” She asks over her daughter’s head.

“Does it have to be so… sudden?”

“I’m sorry,” I reply bashfully.

“I wouldn’t if I didn’t absolutely have to. I just have so much waiting for me back home. Some urgent business that needs attending to.”

I know that I should just tell Faith that mum wants me to marry Kristine, and that I cannot do anything to put a stop to it while I’m here in America, but I don’t.

I remain silent and hopefully, deciding to tackle that issue at a later date. We might not have spent the last few years together, but I know Faith well enough to be certain that if she knows I’m betrothed, she won’t come no matter what.

And I really need her to come with me.

I feel awful about lying – or at least, not telling the truth – but it’s for a good cause.

“I want to go mum, I want to see the castle,” Lily starts pulling on Faith’s clothes, growing redder in the face as she does.

She’s desperate for this, and I should have guessed that would have happened. I should have waited until Faith was alone before bringing any of this up.

“Plus I have the school holidays coming up…”

“I’m sorry,” she shakes her head, tearing my heart in two.

“I can’t go, I can’t see your mother. She hates me, and I can’t allow that to affect…” she indicates towards Lily, and I see her point, but if that is her only worry, then I can put that to bed immediately.

“Mum isn’t there. She’s in Norway for the next week, which gives us plenty of time together. After that… well, we can worry about that afterwards.”

Her breaths start coming out heavy and labored, which fills me with hope. It has to mean that she’s
really
thinking about it, surely?

I watch as she looks down at Lily’s hopeful face, before hanging her head in disbelief.

“Okay,” she finally says quietly – probably more for Lily than herself, but it’s a positive start.

“Okay fine, we’ll come.”

“Yay!” Lily squeals, more excited than ever before. “I can’t wait!”

* * *

A
s the plane
finally hits home soil, I breathe a sigh of relief. Lily is a brilliant child, and so well-behaved, but I can’t help feeling glad that we travelled by private plane.

Nearly twelve hours in a small, confined space is difficult for anyone to deal with, but for a child who needs to be constantly doing things, it’s something else.

She kept alternating between overly excited and bored, tired and grouchy to hyper – she was like a roller coaster, and I’m glad to finally be back on my home turf, where she has all the space she could possibly want to run around in.

“Wow!” She says happily as she sees my home.

Of course, I know that my family’s castle is grand, but to me it’s just home, so seeing it through someone else’s eyes is really eye opening.

“This is
amazing
!”

“Come on,” I laugh at her.

“Let me show you around.”

I feel excited at the prospect of showing Lily my life, and it’ll actually be the first time that Faith gets to see some of the
real me
too, a notion that’s weird considering all that we went through.

As we reach the entrance, I immediately see Billy – one of the grounds supervisors – standing in waiting.

“Hello Master Billy,” I address him in a mock serious fashion, and as his eyes flicker to Lily, he steps forward to take a bow without even missing a beat.

He gets the game instantly, for which I’m extremely grateful – it makes the whole experience much more authentic for Lily.

“Hello Prince Edward,” he shoots me a knowing smile.

“And who is this beautiful young lady?” He takes Lily’s hand and kisses it lightly, which causes her to giggle loudly.

“This is Princess Lily,” I tell him, smiling down at her.

“I would like you to make all the staff aware that she is here for the day.”

“Princess?” She whispers to me, looking a little surprised.

“Don’t you want to be a princess?” I ask her, knowing that she’s going to love it.

If only she knew that it was the truth! Of course, I can only hope that she will one day. I have to respect Faith’s wishes on that one, it might not have been my choice not to be involved in my daughter’s life for all of those years, but there’s no denying that she was there, and that she knows what’s best for Lily. Her emotions are much more important than mine.

“Of course!” She exclaims. “I’m just so… happy.”

I take her through the castle, showing her each and every room in turn, with Faith walking behind us silently, juts allowing us this moment together.

I can tell that she’s anxious too, but she really doesn’t need to be this time. Mother isn’t here, she isn’t going to get any trouble from anyone for being who she is. But of course I can only tell her that so many times. Eventually she will find out for herself.

As we explore each room, I tell Lily different stories. Some of them are made up and magical, which captures her imagination perfectly, but some of them are based in the truth of my own childhood. It’s nice to be able to give my daughter this small insight into my life, without revealing that’s exactly what I’m doing.

We even end up having afternoon tea because she tells me that she read about it in one of her books, and that it’s what princesses do.

As the staff scurry around her, calling her ‘Princess Lily’ I can see each and every one of them falling in love with her, just as I have done. I can also spot the recognition in their eyes as they look at her closely and see the elements of me within her.

This causes them to look at Faith in more detail, probably realizing that she is the one I married all those years ago, the one that left my heartbroken. I imagine that there is a whole lot of gossiping going on behind the scenes, but to our faces they are nothing but professional.

To be honest, I don’t care what they are saying behind our backs, as long as they make Faith and Lily comfortable, which they are.

I hope that deep down they can see how right we are for one another. I hope that they’re supportive of us, because that will make it so much easier if we do eventually find our ways back to one another.

After a while, Lily starts to rub her eyes in an angry manner, which can only mean one thing – she’s tired. After the long day of travelling and playing about that she’s had, I’m hardly surprised. I’m feeling a little jet lag induced myself, so she must be shattered.

“Are you tired?” Faith asks her kindly.

“Would you like to go to bed?”

“Noooo,” she whines as a reply.

“I don’t want to sleep yet. I want to keep playing. I want to see the rest of the castle, and to play outside. Sleep is boring…”

“Not when you have the best bed in the entire world!” An idea sparks into my mind, which I can’t wait to share with Lily.

One of my cousins used to come and stay a lot when she was young, and she was a little like Lily, so she had the pinkest, prettiest room designed for her. Her bed was even made up like a castle, with a slide to get off it, and because the castle is so big, and it’s a room that’s never been used since, it still looks the same. I know that once Lily lays her eyes upon it, she won’t want to leave it.

“What do you mean?” She asks, looking more curious than I’m sure she wants to.

“Come with me,” I tell her standing up.

“I’ll show you. Plus don’t forget that we have all of tomorrow
and
the next day. You won’t be missing out on anything by sleeping because you still have so much time to see everything.”

I wish that I could tell her she could stay forever, but that’s a promise that I definitely cannot make.

“Oh wow!” She spins around the pick bedroom like whirlwind, grabbing everything in turn and looking at it.

There are all kinds of books, toys, games, and stuffed animals for Lily to play with in here, plus there is a wardrobe stuffed with dresses and dress up things. It’s like a heaven for her.

“Can I play with all of this in the morning?”

“Of course you can!” I tell her, smiling brightly.

I glance over to Faith who is standing behind me, grinning too. She still doesn’t look like she’s fully comfortable with being here, but she’s certainly happier than she was before, which is good. She’s finally coming around.

“Now let’s get you into some pajamas and into bed.”

As soon as Lily has changed, she grabs the nearest book and she hands it to me.

“Can you read me this bed time story?” She asks with a real joy in her voice.

“I can’t sleep without a story.”

“Well… I better ask your mum…” I suddenly feel bad that I’m encroaching too much on their time together, but as I glance over to Faith, she indicates that I should go right ahead, which I’m more than happy to do.

I’m perfectly aware that things could have gone very differently with Lily, and that she could have hated me, so I’m grateful that she’s taken to me so well. It makes it even more exciting that one day soon, I’m going to be able to tell her that I’m her dad, and that I can be in her life as much as she wants.

Of course, I wish that Faith could be a part of the picture too, but I cannot guarantee that. If she wants to remain in America, it’s going to make things a little more difficult, but I’ll do what I can.

I will fly over there as often as I can, and I will bring them here too. I won’t even
think
about marrying again – especially not to Kristine – while I figure out being a father. Lily is already the most important person in the world to me, and I’ll never to anything to jeopardize that.

Once she is tucked in under the sheets, I start to read.

“Okay, so this one is called
The Magnificent King.
”

As we adventure through the book, I cannot help but think it’s a little ironic that she picked a story at random, that just happens to be about a father (the king) who is desperately trying to find his daughter (the princess).

Of course, the obstacles within their way are totally different to what me and Lily have faced – wizards, and toads, and even a vampire bat – but it still feels a little odd to read all the same, as if there’s some hidden meaning there that she doesn’t quite recognize yet.

“And they returned home to their castle, and lived happily ever after. The end.”

“That was a good story,” Lily said sleepily.

“I liked the king, he’s really nice.”

“Me too,” I whisper, not wanting to disturb her sleepy state.

“I would like a dad like him,” she continues, sending a cold chill into my heart.

What do I say to that? I glance over at Faith, but she looks just as speechless as I am.

“I would like a dad like you – you gave me the best day ever. Thank you.”

“Err, you’re welcome,” I reply, leaning down to kiss her lightly on the head.

Her sentiment in lovely, but there is no denying that it’s shocked me. I don’t even know how to react.

“Goodnight, sweetheart. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Then I step out into the hallway, while Faith says her goodnights. While I’m there, my mind reels. I wish that I could just say something, that I could tell her the truth, especially as Lily wants it as much as me.

It’s so frustrating that I have to stay quiet, but I know that it’s for the best.