Dirty Crown: A Bad Boy Secret Baby Royal Romance (with BONUS book - Rebel Rockstar!) (14 page)

A
fter Marcus comes
to visit me in my holding cell, I see no one for what feels like hours.

I understand that Edward can’t come to see me because he’s looking after Lily, but I’m terrified without his presence there all the same. I pace up and down the tiny room like a crazy person, just waiting constantly on edge, expecting something terrible to happen.

Then it does.

“Open it up,” I hear her shrill voice before I see her and my heart drops into my shoes.

I know that I’m going to have to face the queen eventually if I want to get out of here, but I’m not ready right now. She tossed me in here after all, so it’s safe to say that she isn’t best pleased with me, which is an opinion I really don’t need to face. This all feels bad enough to me without it being made worse. “

Thank you.”

As she steps in, she looks me up and down as if I absolutely disgust her. I want to stay strong and proud of who I am, but it’s very difficult when she’s making me feel about two feet tall. She so clearly hates me, and it’s hard for that not to hurt.

I don’t even feel like she’s given me the time of day to even attempt to get to know me. I’m the mother of her grandchild for crying out loud.

Why has she decided that I’m the worst thing in the world? It isn’t right and it seriously isn’t fair.

“I’m very sorry if you don’t find this accommodation suitable,” she sneers at me.

“But I need to keep you away from Edward. I cannot have you lying to him anymore. You have poisoned his mind enough.”

Lying?

Me?

Poison?

A red mist descends in front of me and I cannot stop myself from coldly replying.

“
You
are the only one who has lied here. You had me threatened, you got me to leave Edward on our honeymoon night, and I’m damn sure that you’ve never told him that.”

I’m shaking with rage now, really struggling to keep it concealed. How dare she accuse me of doing what she did? That just isn’t right.

“I’ve protected you by not telling him that, and now I have no idea why. I should have just told him right away to stop myself from getting mixed up in your crazy, manipulative web of madness.”

“You have me all wrong,” she throws her hand across her chest in what appears to be mock surprise.

“I am only concerned about all of you. As queen, it is my duty to keep our bloodline pure, which means that we cannot mix with commoners. I’m sorry if you do not like or understand that, but that is just the way that it has to be. One day I’m sure you will finally understand why I had to make the mature decision for all of you.”

I gulp down the ball of emotion that has lodged firmly in my throat, and I speak out once more.

“Don’t you think that’s up to Edward?” I ask, trying my very best to sound calm.

“Don’t you think that he’s old enough to make his own decisions?”

“Oh he has,” she tells me, with a serious expression on her face.

“He has picked a suitable wife to marry. Princess Kristine Larson of Norway.”

“No,” I shake my head, remembering his kind and loving words from last night.

We promised that we were going to get through this together – there’s no way he was lying to me about that… surely?

“That can’t be right.”

I trust him, I really do. There’s no way he would lie to me like that… that isn’t the man I know at all.

Then the queen pulls out a selection of photographs that she clearly had stashed on her being, ready for this exact moment, and she hands them to me. I flick through them, feeling sicker and sicker by the minute.

They are images of him sitting with the most beautiful, aristocratic woman that I’ve ever seen. She has the most luscious, silky black hair and piercing green eyes, and a smile to die for, and in the pictures, they are sitting at a dinner table, laughing happily with one another.

They really truly match. If I saw a picture of them in a magazine, I would be thinking that they’re perfect for one another.

She so clearly suits him in every single way possible – much better than I do – and it’s obvious that from the way that she’s dressed that she’s from his world, from his background…

In reality, she is exactly the sort of woman that Edward should marry.

A horrible, toe-curling jealousy consumes me, and I start to shake under the pressure of it all. Frustrated tears prick my eyes, and I really find it hard to keep my shit together. I don’t want to fall apart under the strain of this very blatant, manipulative trick, but at the same time, it’s so incredibly difficult to see the love of my life with someone else, enjoying her company.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’ve never known Edward after all… maybe he’s just as bad as his mom, and I’ve been too blindsided by love to realize it.

If that’s the case, I’ve wasted most of my adult life in live with a man that I’ve never even known.

Is that possible?

Could I really have been so duped over and over again? If so what does that say about my judgment?

“The announcement of their engagement will go out in the next few days.” She continues, while my entire body shatters under the crushing heartbreak.

Can she not see that I’m crumbling? Can she not sense that it’s time to stop before she kills me? Why is she torturing me?

“What?” I gasp unhappily.

“Are you serious?”

If he’s engaged then I really have been nothing more than a pathetic fool. Why did he bring me here just to wreck my life? What the hell was the point of all of this?

“Oh… did he not tell you?” I can tell that she’s pleased by this, which makes me feel even worse.

Is she getting some sort of sick thrill from making me fall apart? What the hell is her problem? Have the rest of the world got the wrong impression of her? Is she really the worst kind of woman on the planet?

“Yes, they are going to be married. This year in fact.”

“Wow,” I slump down on the seat beneath me, unable to stand up for even another second longer. I can’t even hold up my own body weight anymore.

“I don’t even… I don’t know what to say.” Should I just go home? Would I be much better off in America? Was all of this a total mistake? I think back to my real home, to the real life that I’ve built myself, and I feel ridiculous for leaving it all behind. I should have guessed that it would end up like this.

“Now, you better pull yourself together because I have arranged for you to spend some one on one time with your daughter.”

The queen totally changes the subject, bewildering me once more. How does she manage to do that with every single word that comes out of her mouth? It’s insane!

“I don’t have any ill will against you, or any members of your family. Edward will not be there of course, he’s with his fiancée this afternoon,” another knife stabbing into my heart, twisting agonizingly inside of me.

That woman – the beautiful, stunning princess is here, with Edward. Did he know that she was coming? My mind is reeling, trying to work out whether I’m the unwitting pawn in some crazy game.

“So would you like to go now?”

“Yeah, sure okay,” I nod enthusiastically.

Whatever else is going on in my life, I want to see Lily. She’s been my rock for so long, and I need to check that she’s okay. At least with her by my side I’ll be able to feel some kind of normal, despite everything else that’s happening.

“Thank you.”

Then she steps aside, and indicates for one of the guards to take me outside. As he walks behind me, I can’t help but feel like a common criminal, so I have to keep telling myself over and over that it’ll all be worth it to see my little girl’s gorgeous face.

At least I still have her, even if everything else is taken from me!

“Mummy!” Lily cries excitedly as she races over to me jumping into my arms.

“I’ve missed you, where have you been? What have you been doing?”

“Oh, mommy just had to sort some stuff out,” I lie evasively, hoping that I can distract her from asking anything else.

“What have you been up to today?”

“Edward has been playing with me, but then he went to meet his friend…”

His friend… his fiancée… Princess Kristine Larson…

Ugh, that damn near kills me. I don’t even know how to take it.

Either Edward is the biggest liar on the entire planet, and I’m a massive mug, or there’s something deeper going on here. My mind is reeling far too much for me to figure out which one is the truth. Of course, I hope and pray that it’s the second one, but I don’t want to be a fool. I don’t want to be sucked in even deeper to this crazy family madness.

It isn’t just me that I have to protect, it’s Lily too. I cannot have her dragged into something so insane. I won’t let it happen.

“…so I’ve just been reading. There are some really great books here, and some cool toys too!” She sounds so happy that it tears me apart.

On the one side, I’m glad that she’s completely unaware of the horror going on around her, but on the other it’s going to make is much harder to walk away from here.

“Shall we go out into the garden for a walk?” I ask, really needing some fresh air.

“You can show me all of the flowers outside.”

“Yes, can we get Edward to join us?” Lily asks, with such innocence that I almost want to cry.

She might not know who he is to her, but she really loves that man and it’s going to be devastating for the both of us when he can no longer be in our lives.

“No sweetie, let’s just go. Edward is busy, and I haven’t seen you much today,”

“Okay,” she finally agrees, much to my relief.

“Let’s go, there are some really cool yellow roses around the back that I can show you.”

“That sounds perfect,” I smile.

Allowing her to grab my hand and lead me outside. Of course, there is a man following us from behind, but as long as Lily doesn’t notice, I intend to do my best not to let it become an issue. I might become increasingly pissed off inside, but that’s where it shall stay.

Like a burning pit of fire in the depths of my stomach.

As we walk, I listen to Lily talk endlessly about everything, glad that she always has so much to say. She’s always been a massive talker, and right now I need that.

I need to just listen, and not to have to say anything. I’m a complete and utter mess, and it’s taking all that I have just to hold myself together, so speaking might just finish me off completely. All I’m really thinking about is finding a way out of here, escaping before we can get into any real trouble.

I need to be away from all of this, I need to be somewhere normal, and I need the right way to make that happen… but that isn’t going to be easy by myself. I could really use Edward’s help, but he’s off somewhere with his fiancée.

Princess fucking Kristine! Ugh!

But we don’t get as long as we need together, not by a long shot. It isn’t long before a man comes over and whispers to me that I need to get back into my cell on the queens orders, so I apologize to Lily and I hold her close for a few moments, just inhaling her wonderful scent. She doesn’t really understand what is going on, for which I’m grateful, but that really doesn’t make it any easier on me.

This is a mess. I made a mistake bringing us both here; now all I need to do is get us both home.

I will do it, I have to. I’ve been left with no choice.

“Come on,” I finally smile at her.

“I’ll walk you back to your bedroom, then I’ll see you again very soon… I promise.”

K
ristine wants
to spend the afternoon with me, but I have absolutely no interest in that.

Now that Lily is with her mum, and I’m not allowed to spend any time with either of them, I have a mission to complete. I may not be able to go up against mum on the issue since she is the queen, but there must be something that I can do.

There must be some loophole, some trick that I can find that not only negates my bullshit engagement to Kristine, but that also frees Faith too.

So I head straight up into the library, and I start looking through the books that I’ve avoided for years, the ones that I never had any interest in – the ones all about the law and royal rulings.

There has to be something that I can do,
I think to myself, growing increasingly frustrated with every passing second.
It cannot be totally hopeless
…

But as the hours pass, I end up almost punching a wall.

What exactly is the point of being a prince if I have absolutely no rights? If my life really isn’t my own? Sure, the thought of starting a whole new life by myself with nothing is absolutely terrifying – after all, I’ve been so sheltered, so protected, that I wouldn’t even know where to begin making it on my own – but wouldn’t that be better than this? Wouldn’t it be liberating?

Would I be able to survive being free?

Just as my mind flickers between decisions, a slight cough rings out from behind me, shocking me. I spin around in my chair to see a very uncomfortable looking Marcus standing behind me.

“Oh it’s you,” I gasp sadly, allowing my emotions to cover my face.

“Are you okay Marcus?”

“I, err…” he steps closer to me, flickering his eyes everywhere.

“I would love to speak to you, if that’s okay?”

His nerves have me intrigued. He seems to know something, and all I can do is hope that it’s the answers I so desperately need.

“Unless you’re busy of course.”

“No,” I admit, shutting the books behind me.

“I’m hitting dead end after dead end here.”

“I have something that I need to tell you, something that I should have told you a very long time ago… but my job and life was on the line.”

What the hell is he on about? And why does he look so serious?

“It has made me take a step back from you because the guilt has been eating me up alive, but I cannot allow this to carry on forever. You deserve to know the truth.”

“What is going on Marcus? You’re freaking me out here.”

My heart is racing and I almost can’t sit still. This is huge, I just know it. He has pulled back from me, and that has hurt, but there’s clearly some very deep and involved reason behind it, I just don’t know what it is.

“It’s to do with your wedding night.”

My wedding night?

Is he referring to my future wedding night? The one that everyone seems to think I’m going to have with Kristine, even though it’s never ever going to happen. I
will
get out of it somehow for sure.

“Okay…” I drawl cautiously.

“I was in Greece, when you got married…”
Wait
, he’s talking about Faith here.

My
real
wedding night. My ears prick up in the hope that I might actually end up learning something useful, something that finally answers all of the questions that have been plaguing my mind for a very long time.

“And I went to her after your wedding.”

“She ran away that night, how did you see her?” It doesn’t make any sense.

“She ran away because I made her go, on orders of your mother. She had you trailed the entire time that you were abroad, and because I didn’t get to the wedding on time, she made me send Faith away before you could… consummate things.”

What the hell?

This is too insane for words – my mind is reeling. Although from what I’ve seen, I’m not surprised by anything my mum does anymore. I am shocked that Faith didn’t tell me though – this could all have been resolved so much easier. Why did she feel the need to keep it a secret?

Was she that afraid?

“She had her life threatened if she ever contacted you again, and I also sent her off with a massive check… although it’s best for you to know that she never cashed it. Not even when she was desperate, when she was pregnant and practically out on the streets.”

Suddenly, the harsh realization of what Faith’s life without me was like hits hard. I was so busy wallowing in my own misery, and my own struggles that it hasn’t ever hit me that she was a single mum with nothing to her name for a very long time.

She had money… money that she could have used to make her own life easier, and she didn’t because she knew what an insult it would be to me.

An intense rush of love washes over me, as does a gratefulness.

Especially now I know that she never wanted to leave me.

“This is so unfair!” I blurt out angrily.

“We could have been together, happy for all this time. I could have been in Lily’s life the entire way through.” I start pacing the room in a frustrated state.

I’ve never felt so rage filled and hopeless all at once.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Marcus is shaking his head, looking seriously distraught with everything that has happened.

“I wish… I didn’t mean…”

I step over to him and rub his back, desperately wanting to calm him down.

“Don’t worry,” I tell him genuinely.

“I know that you were obviously put in a bad position, and I know what mum can be like. I won’t…” I sigh deeply, knowing that what I’m about to say will put me in a very difficult position, but that it has to be said.

Whatever Marcus has been to me in the last few years, he was my close friend once and I still feel protective of him.

“I won’t tell her that you told me. I won’t do anything to get you in trouble. I know that you were only doing this to protect yourself. I understand.”

And I actually really do. It might hurt me, but I get it.

“So… what will you do?” Marcus asks, his face pale with shock.

“How are you going to…?”

“I don’t know,” I admit.

“But I do know that mum has gone too far this time. This is just… it’s insane.”

Marcus remains silent, just staring at me as the cog turns in my mind. I flit from decision to decision, trying desperately to make the right choice, but I keep coming back to the one and only option that I can think of.

I don’t think that I have any choice.

“I’m going to speak to mum, I’m going to tell her that I’m not marrying Kristine, and that I won’t be going through with any of her plans.”

“Do you know what that means?” He gasps, holding his arms across himself protectively.

“Do you know what she will do to you?”

I nod firmly, certain of my decision this time.

“I will have to renounce my birth right, give up the throne and my position here. I’m okay with that. I will cope.”

“You will need to get seriously organized,” Marcus warns me.

“You’re going to need money, and to get your stuff packed. You’ll also want to organize a driver and somewhere to stay while you get settled.”

He’s really panicking now, which makes my heart race and anticipation to course through my veins. I now realize just how huge this is, and how much it’s going to take. If I just barge in there, all guns blazing, then I risk being kicked out with absolutely nothing.

“Okay,” I tell him.

“I’m going to go and make some calls, get myself sorted. Can you please check on Faith? I think that she might be still with Lily for a few more minutes – let her know what’s going on.”

I stare at him, trying to work out if he will at least do that for me.

“Thank you Marcus.”

“I will see you very soon,” he promises.

“I won’t let you down.”