Dirty (16 page)

“Present time,” she squeals, setting everything down in front of me.

“Jesus, Ava, you and birthdays,” Chloe says, rolling her eyes.

“No shit,” Darby adds. “You’d think you were still nine years old.”

“Remember all the princess parties she made us live through with her in our college dorm?” Chloe laughs and drinks from her bottle of water.

I don’t even want to think about why Ava loves birthdays so much. I could probably guess on my own that it has all to do with her fucking parents. The plastic fork in my hand snaps in two just thinking about it.

“Cake first.” Ava lights up all twenty-five candles, letting the candle wax melt all over her frosting job.

I catch her by the waist when she lights the final one and tug her into my lap. Ava wraps an arm around my neck and leads everyone in the Happy Birthday song. I can’t keep myself from kissing her cheek every so often as she belts out the words very off tune. The gleam from the setting sun reflects off her high cheekbones, lightening up the spray of freckles on the bridge of her nose. It’s one of those moments where I need to pinch myself.

“Make a wish,” Ava squeals.

“I have nothing to wish for.” I smile up at her.

But it’s a big fat fucking lie. Bending over, I blow out all the candles in one long puff of air and wish like hell that my past never haunts my impending perfect future.

Chloe begins cutting the cake while Darby brings out the arsenal of ice cream they bought and even though I’m the birthday boy, the girls serve Grandpa first. I’m relieved when the cake tastes like heaven since its appearance isn’t all that great.

“Here,” Ava hands me a bag. “This is from Chloe.”

The gift bag is full of clothes from the brand of blue jeans I love to all sorts of name brand t-shirts. The next present from Darby is an expensive silver watch that I’d have to admit looks damn sexy on my wrist.

“Already gave you my present, brother,” Rhett announces around a mouthful of cake.

“Yeah, what’s that?” I sit back and work on the rest of my cake.

“Respect. I give it to you every goddamn day.”

The whole table erupts in laughter and I just shake my head at my damn fool of a friend.

“My turn.” Ava claps her hands together. She passes me several boxes that contain new work boots, snapback hats, and her favorite brand of boxers for me.

“Thanks, baby.” I stand up and kiss the hell out of her, not worrying who is watching us, but know better to stop before my cock busts through my jeans.

Ava hands me one last box. It’s smaller than the others and perfectly wrapped in an obnoxious colored birthday paper. I notice Ava sitting on the edge of her seat anxiously waiting for me to open it. I take my time unwrapping just to tease her. I come to a brown box and pull back the flaps.

It takes real force to keep my tears back and not to break down in front of everybody. It was a sweet gesture and a gesture of that was meant to show me everything I deserve. I haven't touched this thing and over 10 years. It was one of the things that I came to my new home with. My mother actually gave it to me on my third birthday and I really thought if I only kept it, that would be one way to keep my parents close to me.

But as the years flew by, I became more and more disgusted with my parents’ greedy actions and decided it had no place in my life then or ever. But I was too big of a coward to actually throw it away. Ava has brought new meaning to this part of my life. My tentative fingers pull out my old panda bear. Yes, my old stuffed panda bear. When I hold it up in the sunlight I notice it has both eyes where it used to only have one. All the limbs are connected where some of them used to be missing. It’s a bit cleaner than I remember and also a little bit fluffier than I remember.

I picked the eye off at night when I would grow nervous thinking about my parents in the prison system and what would be happening to them day in and day out. I tugged on the leg when the stress was too much from the staring eyes of the town I was tired of being judged by, but all of those reminders are gone. The only thing staring back at me is my perfect past in the form of my panda. My perfect past brought to me through the act of love from Ava. I slowly say the next two words without hesitation.

“Thank you.”

I
wasn't
sure when everyone was going to leave; it seemed we were all having a good time drinking, talking and sharing a good laugh. And we all indulged in smoking pot and morphed into goofy assholes. Rhett finally sobered up and took the girls home, leaving Zane and I alone on the patio.

Zane put Grandpa to bed hours ago or actually I should say he carried him to bed hours ago, asleep in his arms. I’m still in shock at how well Zane reacted to the news of the hospice. I didn’t want to discuss it with him, but each day is getting worse with his grandpa; I can see it coming in his eyes, and his movements, and the worst part, in his spirit. The pain, he’s in a pain I can’t even begin to imagine and the old man just tries to hide it from me.

I’ve never been one to use the power, greed, or money that comes with my name, but Grandpa brought that out in me. I probably would’ve sacrificed my future with Zane for the money and married my dad’s choice. I couldn’t consider myself a human being knowing that I sat idle and watched the man suffer and die in his own home and do nothing.

After several hours of research, I came to the conclusion that hospice was needed to come in and take care of him, putting him in a comfortable state of life. And also be there for Zane.

“I think I’m ready for another round of cake.” I looked over at Zane’s goofy smile plastered on his face and I know he’s still higher than a fucking kite. I didn’t smoke as much as the others or drink as much because the high of life right now has me going full force.

“No bedtime for you yet Mister. I have one more birthday surprise.”

Zane tilts his head to the side and scrunches up his eyebrows and he has no goddamn clue what I just said.

“Wait here and I’ll be right back.” You’d think giving him his old stuffed animal and gifting it to him in front of our friends and letting him know about the hospice would be the most nerve-racking part of the night. But it’s no comparison to what I’m about to do.

I walk quietly into his room and change quickly, leaving him out on the deck. And then grab my speaker and cell phone and head back out to him. He kicked his feet up on the table and is leaning back in his chair staring up at night sky speckled with stars. It’s nice to see him so relaxed and enjoying himself without one worry playing out on his face. I set the speaker and my phone down on the table.

“What in the hell?” Zane swivels in his seat until he’s staring at me.

I freeze dead in my tracks, standing before him in lingerie that shows more than it hides. His mouth drops open, but no words come out. My finger trembles when I try to hit shuffle on the playlist I created.

“Work It” by Missy begins filling the night air combined with the want lingering between Zane and I. My hips begin to sway to the beat of the song. The song is pumping and empowering. Missy’s words lead my actions as I dance and twirl until I’m standing in front of Zane with my whole body swaying to the music.

He reaches up and grips my hips, which will lead to him pulling me down onto him, and then this whole surprise will be done. I waggle my finger at him, telling him no and then take a step back. My hands unclasp my top from the back and I let it slowly fall off and then toss it to Zane. I try to mimic all the moves he made in the club the night I saw his performance. I shake my ass while giving him all kinds of views and getting so close to him, making it torture on him.

Several songs fly by and I find that dancing is fucking liberating and very rewarding only because of the look on Zane’s face. Beyoncé is singing now and I’m naked before my man dancing up and down his body, caressing each one of his curves and giving him the show of his life. I know for a fact he enjoyed his little birthday breakfast beyond words. The man is pretty easy; sex and food and you have him in a trap.

I reach over to a couple pieces of birthday cake left in the cake pan and pick one piece off and place it on his lips. Zane takes a bite and then leans forward, taking one of my nipples into his mouth. Again I push him back in his seat and wag my finger, telling him no.

I hold the slice of the cake and take a bite of my own right where his lips were. And I let the cake roll down my chest, rubbing it along the underside of each of my breasts, leaving frosting in its path. Each of my nipples become dappled in frosting. And then I go lower to my abdomen and my belly button, creating curvy trails of frosting on my skin.

And right when I get where I really want the frosting, Zane loses all control. He stands up, lays me back on the patio table, and begins licking his way down the trail of frosting. He’s forceful and I feel his teeth and tongue nip at my skin. The raw movement begins empowering me. I never made it to where I really wanted the frosting and Zane’s tongue, but it doesn’t seem to matter.

This is his final birthday present from me, but by all means I’m reaping all the goddamn benefits. My back arches up and I painfully squeeze both my nipples as Zane’s tongue swirls around my bud. He teases me for a while before he sticks his tongue in me and then laps his tongue up and down my entire center until I’m squirming and screaming his name.

“Fuck this. I need you now, Ava.” The sound of his zipper fills the night air and when I feel the tip of his cock at my entrance, it’s all too much. I’m surrounded by everything Zane; his scent, his body, and now him filling me. He doesn’t take it slow, rolling his hips nice and smooth the way Zane normally starts out, instead he begins to fuck me hard and rough on the table.

After several orgasms flow by, I scream his name and pull his hair, and then dig my nails into his skin. Zane flips me over roughly and without warning, my nipples are on the glass table and smash up against the chilled surface, his hand pushes down possessively on the back of my head while his hand guides his cock and Zane begins fucking me again.

He takes several pumps while moaning out my name and then begins a throaty moan while picking up his pace. His desperate fucking drives me closer to the edge, but I don’t want it to end, so I bite down on my bottom lip, blocking my own moans. The taste of metallic blood fills my mouth, but it’s a small consequence because I need him taking me like this forever.

Zane picks up on me trying to hold back and wraps his hand around the front of my throat and pulls me up into a standing position. My back is pressed to his chest, his hand wrapped around the front of my throat. He begins to press down hard, showing me who’s in control, taking me like he never has before. His cock fills all of me and slams into me over and over.

One of his hands snakes around my front and plays with my folds and begins strumming my clit. It doesn’t take long with him fucking me and playing me like a fiddle before he has me screaming and melting once again. But this time my body has no more energy; I have nothing left inside of me. Zane has drained me of everything and he’s still rock hard, taking me from behind. I let him take his time to use me, exhausting all of his emotions, letting it all out.

His hand glides up into my hair and he grips a fistful, then begins pulling and tugging on it. I know the grunts that escape him mean he’s about to go inside of me. Zane goes harder and deeper. In the next moment I feel his wet liquid rush inside of me. My greedy finger reaches down between us, lapping up his juices with mine and mixing them together. It’s like a power surge with his hardening cock still in me, coated in his semen and my pussy becomes hungry and I want more all of a sudden.

A
nd now all
of my manhood has been stripped away after a day testing wedding cakes for Chloe’s wedding and even going to watch the girls try on their dresses. Of course, Chloe was beaming in her wedding gown, but she wasn’t the one that had my cock hard and ready. Ava in her short, form fitting dress with her tits perfectly cupped drove me mad and also drove me right into the dressing room with her to strip it from her body and claim her.

“Zane.”

“Yeah, baby,” I holler from the couch.

“Good thing we danced earlier.”

Dance is our code word since hospice has been at the house. Ava walks around the corner with tired eyes, flushed cheeks, and a defeated look on her face.

“What’s wrong?” I take a pull from my longneck.

“Mother nature.” She sticks out her bottom lip while climbing into my lap.

“Your lips still work?” She punches me in the chest.

“I wanted to dance under the moonlight tonight at the bonfire.” She wraps both of her arms around my neck. “On a blanket with sand in our cracks just like in the movies.”

“I’ll give you a mouthful of cock on that blanket and sprinkle sand in your ass crack.”

“Jesus, Zane.” Ava rolls her eyes and begins texting on her phone.

And my last piece of being the hometown stud has been stripped. The fucking bonfire. It’s not one that Rhett’s throwing, but the fucking baseball teams and rich kids. The rest of the girls’ friends are in town with the wedding only a week out. Rhett, the lucky bastard, got off easy, telling the girls he had to work. His piss poor excuse got him out of it.

“We can stay in tonight,” I suggest.

“Not a chance, Zane. Chloe and Darby would kill me. I have to go.”

I kiss the top of her head. “The damn things I do for you, woman.”

She ignores me and continues to rapid-fire text on her phone. I glance down to see who she’s texting with and it’s just a number with no contact. The way her body tenses up, I can only assume it’s someone she’s not thrilled to be talking with. Ava’s been growing grumpy and irritated as the wedding gets closer and I know it’s because of her parents and the shit show that’s about to come to town.

It’s odd how different the three girls are, but seem to all get along just fine. Chloe is definitely a pleaser and follows her family’s wishes where Darby and Ava want nothing to do with them, but I guess it helps that Chloe is in love with her man and that’s the life she wants.

I decide not to give Ava a hard time about the bonfire seeing that something else has her all wound up. “I’ll go check on Grandpa and let Anna know we’ll be out the rest of the night.”

“Okay, baby.” Ava slides off of me onto the couch without looking up.

Standing up, an uneasy feeling settles over me, but I brush it off and walk down to Grandpa’s room. He’s been bed ridden the last week and hooked up to several monitors and IVs. He comes in and out of consciousness, sometimes not knowing who he is or where he’s at. Death is attacking his body and he keeps holding on. On the good days, Anna and Ava take him out into the sunshine for a few brief minutes.

“Anna,” I whisper entering the room. “Ava and I are going out for a couple hours.”

She nods back at me and smiles gently. When she came into the house I had no idea how much comfort and support she’d be to me. I wave my cellphone at her, letting her know to call for anything. She has both of Ava’s and my phone numbers and knows we want to be notified of anything.

Leaving the house seems to be getting harder each time because I have no idea if he’ll be there the next time I show up. Anna has had several long talks with me about the process and how it could be days or weeks. The only thing that seems to settle my nerves and worries these days is the love from Ava.

I back out of his room and head to mine. I hardly recognize it when I walk in. Ava’s presence is everywhere. No clothes on the floor or hell, not even a dirty piece of laundry in the room. My clothes, cologne, and snapbacks are all organized and in their places. I strip off my blue jeans and toss them in a laundry basket and go for some beach shorts and tank top, then some flip-flops. The last thing I see when I leave the room is the stuffed panda on my pillows. Ava makes the bed every morning and places the panda between our two pillows. The past and future of us perched on the bed.

“I’m ready, Ava.”

Ava’s on the couch curled in a ball, glaring at her phone. If looks could kill, her phone would be fried. I go to her and pull her up to me.

“What’s going on?” I brush her bangs from her face.

“Just the shit storm that will hit when my asshole parents get here.”

“I’m here for you. They won’t fuck with you.”

She lets out a sarcastic chuckle. “Clearly you’ve never met the great senator.”

I clutch her hand and begin leading her out of the house. “Maybe not, but you have a big night ahead of you with a mouthful of…”

“Zane.” She slaps my chest and rolls into a fit of laughter.

“What?” I feign innocence. “Want a practice run now?”

“Stop.” She slides onto the center of the bench seat through my door. “Only you could take a seriously pissed off woman and turn her mood into a good one with the promise of your dick.”

The engine roars to life and I pull her close to me. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you, Ava. Fucking remember that.”

She remains quiet on the way to the beach and I let her be. The blaring music from the speakers entertains me on the way over. When I pull up to the parking lot, the beach is packed with fucking punks and little sluts running around in bikinis. I peer down to my outfit and have to gag the laughter. I look just like the little pukes in my beach shorts and name brand tank top. The only thing setting me apart is the snapback backwards on my head and my sunglasses.

“Ava.” Darby pulls her from the truck and rushes her down to the beach.

I gather our blanket and cooler and follow them down. I can tell Ava is spilling her guts to Darby and a twinge of jealousy hits me. Ava should be fucking confiding in me and letting me handle her problems. A familiar voice grabs my attention and when I find the source of it, it’s Rhett shirtless and wasted with barely clothed women hanging off of him. The fucker was supposed to be at his night job, but it’s looking like he wanted some younger pussy for the night.

I take our stuff over to where he’s at and watch the women take me in. They have no idea who I am, but it doesn’t stop their hungry stares in my direction. I take up one of Rhett’s chairs and begin pounding the beers, hoping to catch up to Rhett. Ava remains over by the fire with Darby, Chloe and a few other women I’ve been introduced to but don’t remember their fucking names.

I’m being a jealous dick right now and know I shouldn’t be. I let the women get closer to me and make eye contact with Ava every once in a while, making sure she can see what’s going on. A hand snakes up the back of my calf. I jerk my leg away, not even giving a second thought to it. The touch disgusts me and I want nothing to do with it.

A few more beers go down and my anger only boils over the longer Ava stays away. The pretty boy faces that waltz by make my fists thirsty to just knock the shit out of one of them. My temper is about to go from mild to wild and cause a huge shit storm.

Zane: I’m going home. Have one of your friends bring you home.

I stand up and begin gathering the blanket and cooler. I’m halfway up the path before I hear someone holler my name. It’s Darby.

“Zane, stop.”

I don’t pay her a bit of attention because frankly it’s not the fucking voice I want it to be. Darby catches up to me and walks step in step with me.

“Why are you leaving?” she asks.

“I’m not needed here.”

“Quit being a fucking baby.”

Her words stop in my tracks and I turn to her. Darby’s sober as a fucking nun.

“Excuse me?” I raise an eyebrow in her direction.

“You’re being selfish.”

“Oh, do tell me how.” I throw the blanket and cooler in the back of the truck and saunter up to her.

“Ava is hurting right now.”

“I wouldn’t know, she didn’t tell me a damn thing.”

“So that means you can’t be here for her.”

“Looks like she doesn’t need me.” I point to the beach where the same friends minus Darby and a few random men now circle Ava.

“Her dad flew down an ex-boyfriend. William McDermott, Ava’s high school ex-boyfriend, to court her. Ava’s hurt and livid.”

“Looks really fucking hurt to me.”

Ava’s sipping on a beer and enjoying a laugh with friends.

“You’re a dick. A selfish dick, Zane.” Darby punches my chest and I have to clench my fists at my side not to knock her ass to the ground. “Ava’s sacrificed everything for you and when she needs you most, you fucking run.”

“Again, looks like she’s doing fine on her own.”

“You’re hopeless. Yep, she’s doing fine down there. Trying to keep William away from you and fighting with the threats from her dad.” Darby storms off, not waiting for my response.

The buzz of my beers has long worn off as the sun sets over the ocean and the glow from the bonfire brightens the scene.

Ava: I’m sorry, Zane. Don’t leave me.

Her text makes me think long and hard. It’s her past that she has to deal with and if I’m going to relish in her love and her being in my life, then I’d better deal with it too. Grandpa’s words run through my head, “If it’s worth fighting for then it won’t be easy, son.” He’s spoken those words to me several times while growing up. I crack open another beer and saunter back down the trail.

Loud moaning and skin slapping together assaults me when I’m halfway down the trail and it’s none other than Darby and Rhett going at it. I look for a second too long and see Darby riding Rhett like there’s more to their story than just random fuck buddies.

The group surrounding Ava has grown by the time I make my way back down there. It’s a dirty thought, but I can’t help but think that if there was no Ava in the picture, I’d be fucking Darby with Rhett.

I feel like a major asshole when Ava snakes through the crowd and wraps her arms around my neck. I’d just imagined fucking her best friend with my best friend.

“I’m sorry, Zane, I didn’t know he’d be here,” she whispers into my ear.

“Which one is he?” I growl surveying the crowd.

“It doesn’t matter, Zane,” Ava says.

“Yes, it does fucking matter, Ava. Your daddy sent him here for you.”

“He’s the one in the red polo and plaid shorts.”

I take a second to take in the slimy motherfucker. The only thing he’s missing is a sweater hanging from around his neck. He’s built and I hate to admit but a good-looking man.

“Have you fucked him?”

Ava jerks back. “What?”

“Has he had you, Ava?”

“What is your problem right now?” She pulls her hands from me.

“You drag me here, lie about what had you upset, so I want to know if he’s fucked you.”

“Would it matter?” She counters back.

I grab her chin in one hand and force her to look at me. “Has he fucked you, Ava? Have you screamed his name while riding his cock?”

She swats at my forearm but I don’t let go of her face. “Zane, let go of me now.”

I drop my hand from her face. “Answer me, Ava.”

“He took my virginity, asshole, does that make this any better?” Ava begins walking away from the crowd and I’m right on her heels. We don’t exchange words for several moments.

She finally whirls around and tries to throw punches in my direction. A couple of her careless punches land on my chest and her palm sends a stinging slap across my cheek. “You motherfucker, I didn’t ask for any of this! It’s what comes with me, Zane. I’m sorry you can’t handle it.”

I stare at her and watch the formation of tears well up in her eyes. I know that I should feel horrible right now, but I’m a selfish bastard and don’t do well when my world is threatened. And yes, Ava is my world, heart, and soul.

“My dad sent him here, Zane and even had an article leaked to the news about the possibility of a McDermott and Livingston love story brewing. It’s all political.” She drops to her knees and buries her face in her palms. “It’s all political and never about me or what I want.”

Her words are muffled between her face buried in her palms and her tears.

“Fuck.” I scrub my face with my hand.

Here I’m supposed to be the guy who loves Ava more than anyone else and I’m being a bigger fuckface than her own dad. I’m so greedy and self-absorbed I reacted because my feelings were hurt and didn’t even think about Ava or what she’s going through. I drop to my knees in front of her. Our kneecaps touch in the sand, but she doesn’t look up at me.

“You’re mine, Ava.” My words are harsh and to the point. My greedy side is still alive and well. It’s a part of me that I’ll never be able to hide. Ever.

“And I’m sorry for reacting.” I reach my hand out and grab hers, pulling it into my lap. “But you have to tell me what’s going on.”

She finally looks up to me. “So you can react like this and be cruel?”

It’s a dagger to my heart because she’s right. “I have to be included to work this shit out. You shutting me out just makes it worse.”

“I lose either way. I always lose.”

I pull Ava into my lap and whisper in her ear. “Not on my time, baby. You have to talk to me though. Throwing me in this situation and then turning your back on me sent me wild.”

I kiss the side of her cheek several times before speaking again. “I’m sorry. I reacted wrong. Forgive me, Ava.”

“Zane.” She finally lifts her face to me. It’s soaked in her tears. “I was never mad at you, but fucking scared this was the end. I try hiding and avoiding it all. I just want our life here without anyone else.”

“We love each other and will get through anything, baby. If we can promise that to each other, we will make it. Life doesn’t always make sense, but our love does.”

I muffle her response with my lips to hers. I want to kiss the fuck out of her and then fuck her on this beach, feet away from the crowd, fucking claiming her. But I restrain my feelings and kiss her lightly, taking my time sweeping my tongue into her mouth and soaking her up.