Dirty (19 page)

It’s finally time to let go of his hand. The action guts me more than I thought it would. When our palms disconnect, I don’t say a word and walk to my car. Zane never calls after me and it’s an action I appreciate.

“
Y
ou two irritate
the fucking hell out of me!”

I do my best to ignore Darby, taking a pull of my beer.

“Are you both that bullheaded and won’t go to each other?”

“I’m giving Ava time.”

“You know she's leaving, right?” Darby stands up on the porch and tosses her plate in the trash. “She's leaving town says there's nothing left for her here.”

Rhett finally speaks up, trying to silence the animal in Darby. “Let them be, Darby. They'll find a way back to each other.”

Darby slams her hand down on the glass patio table, causing it to rattle.

“You have to fight for what you want, right Zane? This shit doesn’t just happen out of thin air. You heard her saying she still loves you, so go to her.”

I’ve heard all that I need to hear and I’m quite frankly sick and tired of Darby trying to interfere with my life. Ava made it perfectly clear that she could be there for me and my grandpa and she was.

The strength she gave me at the gravesite was something I didn’t expect, but I needed. I never would’ve had the courage to leave the base of the tree and walk to the site were my grandpa would be laid to rest forever. She gave me the strength and the courage to face it. Just like she did making me face my past and actually feeling worthy of being loved. There’s not much more that I can do.

Deep down, I believe that Ava knows I’m sorry, but the hurt and pain I inflicted on her will take time for her to get over. The whinnying of a horse draws my attention and I glance over to the new horse on the farm. She’s different than Grandpa’s old horses. The black beauty. Shiny black hair with a gorgeous mane and a long tail that drags on the ground. It’s Lola.

I found out where she was and then bought her. It’s not an action of love or a stunt to get her back, but a selfish reason. It’s a piece of Ava on the farm that I’ll always have.

Her dad is such is selfish motherfucker making it easy to find the horse. He gave it to one of the stable managers for his daughter’s birthday. Sold his daughter’s pride and joy because it no longer suited him. He crushed her. The stable manager, Rick, was more than happy to sell the horse to me knowing that one day Ava may reconnect with her. He went on about what a great kid Ava was and her connection with that horse.

A nasty thought late at night in bed attacks me nightly. I realized I crushed Ava’s soul just like her father did and that simple fact makes it hard to live in my own skin. I know I was the playboy of the town, I was one of the dirty boys, but Ava made me forget it. She made me a better person, and the person I always wanted to be.

But when I was exposed for the man behind Zane Rivers, dirty does not even begin to describe the way I’ve felt since that moment.

My phone vibrates on that glass tabletop and I barely hear it over Darby and Rhett arguing back and forth. Those two fuckers are in desperate need of talking to a counselor ASAP. I chuckle at me of all people judging a couple and mentally recommending counseling.

I pick up my phone and see it’s a text from an unknown number. When I open text, a picture pops up on the screen.

And I drop my phone to the ground.

“What’s wrong, man?” Rhett asks. I feel all the blood rush out of my face and down to my feet. I bend over and pick it up to see Oliver’s blond face smiling back and next to him is a sleeping Ava. Her cheeks are flushed and her brown hair spread over her pillow. My phone vibrates again and another picture lights up my screen. This one more graphic. His hand’s down her pants and all of her parts are exposed. Picture after picture flood my phone and all them are of her exposed. Oliver’s fucking grin in each one.

Darby’s phone goes off about the same time.

“Hello.”

I don’t know who’s on the other end, but all I hear is Darby’s worried voice.

“Stay there. Call the cops. I’m on my way.”

“What’s going on?” I demand.

“It’s Ava. She said someone broke into the house. Her room is trashed, window broken…”

“That motherfucker I’m going to kill him.”

I sprint to the truck with Darby and Rhett on my heels and try to fill them in. I don’t have the courage to tell them what kind of pictures I was sent.

I dial the number a few times and finally get an answer on the third try.

Oliver’s voice answers on the other end.

“Where the fuck are you?”

“Oh, did I finally get your attention, Zane Rivers?”

“Don’t you dare touch her. I’m going to slit your fucking throat.”

“You know what Zane Rivers? It took me a long time to figure out what you truly cared about. I’ve watched for years and grown agitated because you didn’t give a shit about anything. I thought your grandpa being diagnosed with cancer and you watching him have to die would be my ticket to revenge, but nope, in popped Ava Livingston. Little Miss Ava; you care more about her than anything else in your life.”

“Where in the hell are you?” I listen intently for background noises, making sure he doesn’t have her now.

“Guess my years of patience have finally paid off. Now I get to sit back and watch you go through hell.”

“Come at me. Not her.”

“See, Zane Rivers, that’s the beauty of it. I’m going to destroy you. Oh and no wonder your face has been planted between her legs all summer. She tastes like fucking honey.”

He ends the call and I toss my phone at the front window. “I think the fucker is still there. Call the cops, Darby.”

“I did.”

“Ava’s pregnant, you guys. Nothing can happen to her.”

“What?”

I ignore Darby’s question and slide sideways in front of their house. The front window is busted and the front door wide open. I race up the sidewalk and into the house.

“Shhhhh.” Oliver holds a finger to his lips. “Ava is sleeping.”

“Where is she, Oliver?” I begin frantically screaming her name and busting through doors, but it’s not until he steps away from the chair that I see her slumped over in a ball.

“Ava!” I scream louder and try to go to her.

Oliver pulls out a long shiny knife and I feel both Rhett and Darby slam into my back.

“You still don’t know who I am, do you, Zane?”

“You’re a dead man walking, motherfucker.”

“I don’t believe we’ve ever been formerly introduced. Your parents and mine knew each other.” He takes a moment, scrubbing his chin. “Wait, I wouldn’t call it know each other, but your parents killed mine.”

Silence rings around the house, Oliver slides his knife back in his pocket, and smiles. “I crawled in their blood for a night and then was shipped off to shitty foster homes.”

The sounds of sirens begin to fill the house.

“I only gave her a sleeping pill, Zane, but know this, I will fucking haunt you until the day I die.”

Footsteps pounding down the sidewalk don’t phase me. I lunge forward and begin beating the fuck out of Oliver. Rhett pulls me off him and officers swarm in. I don’t quit punching, losing all sense of control. I have someone down beating the living fuck out of them. Officers pull me up and slam me against a wall.

I had another officer and Rhett down on the ground beating the shit out of them.

Darby begins screaming and trying to get the officer’s attention. Oliver has vanished into thin air.

My hands are pulled behind my back and the cold metal cuffs clink together. Darby continues to scream and the officers look at her like she’s crazy. The demanding one steps up, silencing everyone. And that’s when Darby explains the whole story. The dickhead officer standing behind me has my arms pulled back so tight I feel my shoulders begin to dislocate.

I don’t want to move and I don’t want to take my eyes off Ava.

“Please help her. He gave her something and she’s pregnant.”

An officer calls for an ambulance and then I’m tugged back even further. Ava raises her head right before I’m out the door and hollers my name.

“Zane!”

“Ava, I’m here.”

She screams my name louder with panic lacing her voice.

“Ava, baby I’m here. Stay with Rhett. He’ll take care of you.” Her eyes finally make contact with me and I can tell she’s in a daze and not quite sure what’s going on. But all she sees me doing is backing up out of the house.

“Zane, please don’t leave me.”

“Baby, I have to go.”

The officer whirls me back around, this time facing the front of the door with no Ava in sight. Her frantic screams fill the air and I feel helpless. I feel helpless for the first time in my life, not worthless, but helpless.

The fuckers check me into the jail and charge me with assaulting an officer. I wait for an attorney, but the days go by. Seems weeks go by before I’m assigned one.

Sitting in a cell day in and day out going over everything in my mind is torture. There are days where I just wish I could find a bed sheet or a knife and end it all. It makes perfect sense who Oliver is now and why he stormed into my life.

I’ve held guilt for years over the little boy that was left behind because of my parents’ actions. It’s obvious he never received any help or a good life after that. But I did. And it was because of the home my grandpa created for me, growing up next to my best friend, and enjoying life.

The last four years of my life have been absolute hell with the news of cancer, the money situation, and me trying to keep everything together. But sitting back and looking at the bigger picture, it was nothing. There’s so much more to life than having bills paid, keeping my home, and fighting for the next dollar. The sad thing is I realized it a little too late in life. I’ve lost everything now. I lost Grandpa, I’m sure the ranch soon, and my soul has been crushed and destroyed over this summer.

I’ve reached out to Ava a few times, but with no response. Rhett refuses to tell me anything, not wanting to get into the middle of it. I’ve asked over and over about the baby and Ava’s health. Rhett keeps an eye on Ava, where she sleeps and who she’s with. But I get nothing. For all I know, Ava could be states away by now.

And some days it makes me fucking angry and on other days I know I deserve it.

“Zane Rivers, bed roll.”

I look around the jail cell making sure I heard the guard right, make eye contact with him, only to see him wave his finger towards me. I grab my bedroll and head toward him, hoping for an explanation. But nothing. I follow him in silence down long halls and probably figure I’m being moved to a different facility.

We finally stop at a desk at the front of the office and it’s not until the lady behind a desk says, “You’re free, Zane. All charges have been dropped.”

She hands me over my small bag of belongings. I go into the bathroom and change into my normal clothes. And then open a door into the sunlight. No one is there to pick me up, not even Rhett. Reaching into my pocket, I pull out my cell phone to find it dead and chuck the fucker into some bushes.

I walk about three blocks until I find a restaurant and ask to use their phone. I dial up Rhett and he finally answers after about the fifth try. When he does, he’s out of breath and irritated. I’m sure he’s balls deep in Darby or someone right now.

“Hey, it’s Zane and need a ride home.”

“What you mean?”

“They dropped all charges.”

“Alright man, I’ll be there in a few.”

“Pull your God damn dick out of whatever hole you got it in right now and pick me up at the corner of Third and Nevada.”

I hang up the phone and plop down on a small bench in front of the restaurant. My boot kicks around the loose pebbles on the sidewalk. And instead of feeling like a solid person like the flat cement of the sidewalk, I’m those scattered pebbles having no direction to go in. I really lost everything and now being out in the air after three months, I just want to go back to the cell and not worry or even think about what’s coming next. I have to leave this town. There’s nothing left here for me anymore. My soul has been crushed and now it’s time to wander.

The sound of squealing tires grabs my attention and I look up to see Rhett squealing all four tires of my truck, not his.

“Damn, Zane, you looking fucking good.”

“Give me my God damn keys.”

Rhett throws the keys in my direction and we both jump back in.

“Damn, been pumping iron or what, Zane?”

“Not much else to fucking do in that shit hole.”

“So they dropped all the charges?”

“Yeah,” I nod my head.

“Well, my truck is at your house.”

“Okay.” I nod to him. “Want to grab a bite first?”

“You know me and food. I love it almost as much as I love pussy.”

Rhett’s deep chuckle actually makes my heart flinch. I’ll miss that fucker like hell, but he’s not enough to hold me here any longer. We’ve both been each other’s crutch for too long. Staying here would only be self-torture and if Ava has taught me one thing it’s that I deserve more than that.

I drive a few blocks down the main road and stop at our favorite pizza place. It’s the same joint Ava fell into my arms at the beginning of the summer. It’s just another harsh reminder why I could never be able to live in this town…too many fucking memories to be tortured by. Rhett orders and joins me in a corner booth with two cold beers in his hands.

I’m thankful for the liquid courage because telling Rhett won’t be easy and I wonder if taking the coward’s way out would be the best. Just waking up one morning and vanishing, starting over somewhere new without past, or any judgmental eyes.

“I’m leaving town.” I finally blurt out knowing my best friend deserves the respect of knowing.

“Vacation?” He asks around a large bite of pepperoni pizza.

I shake my head side to side. “For good.”

His eyebrows scrunch together. “The fuck?”

“Nothing left here for me, man.”

“Wow.” He sits back in the booth running a hand over his hat. “You’re not going to fight for Ava?”

“I’ve tried reaching out a few times and no response it’s clear she doesn’t want me.”

“Never took you for a quitter, Zane.”

“I’m done suffering, Rhett.”

He goes to open his mouth again, but I stop him. “End of conversation, Rhett, you’re not going to change my mind.”