Deserve (28 page)

With a sigh, she nestles into my arms and kisses me back.

The ring of my phone interrupts us. I want to ignore it, but
there are too many things that need to be taken care of before we can be alone.

Refusing to let an inch of space between us, I bring my
phone to my ear. “Rowan.”

“ASSHOLE. WHERE THE FUCK
ARE
YOU?
WHERE’S MY SISTER?” He sounds on the verge of exploding.

“Shit!
Cael
, she’s okay. She’s
okay. We’re a couple of blocks east of her dorm.” As soon as I hang up with
Cael
, I get a call from Marc. I give my partner our
location and brace myself for a long ass night.

A vaguely familiar cop walks toward us. “Ma’am, I’m Officer
Jeffrey Cox. Are you able to give a statement about what happened tonight?”

Maggie gasps and turns to him. “Officer Cox?”

He cocks his head as if trying to place her.

“Maggie Jackson. Hannah Michaels’s case,” I supply and watch
recognition dawn.

Gazing at Maggie with combination of horror and sympathy, he
says, “I’m sorry this happened to you again, ma’am. Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” she says.

“Officer, we need to wait for a few people, but we’ll be at
the station as soon as we can to give a statement.”

“I’ll meet you there.” With a tip of his hat, he walks away.

“He must think I’m some sort of magnet for trouble,” Maggie
says with a wry smile.

Before I can concur, someone taps me on my shoulder and I
turn around. I never see the fist coming, but I know I’m hit because my head
jerks back from the impact and my jaw feels like it’s been shattered.

“FUCK!” I shove Maggie behind me and start to lunge at the
threat, checking myself just in time when I realize I’m facing her enraged
brother. Chest heaving and face twisted with fury,
Cael
looks ready to tear me apart with his hands.

“
Cael
!” Maggie darts from behind
me and inserts herself between us. Before I can snatch at her, she already has
her arms thrown around his waist. “Don’t hit him!”

“Are you okay, sweetheart?”
Cael
clasps her shoulders and sets her away from him, eyes frantically checking her
for injuries.

“I’m okay.” She smiles to reassure him.

He drags her into another tight hug. “Thank God.”

When he releases her, he pushes his face aggressively into
my personal space. “Why didn’t you fucking leave my little sister alone? You
can have any woman in this city. Why did you mess with her?”

“Because I love her, you ass!” I shout in his face, my jaw
protesting every word.

“I’m not going to let my sister be with a man-who—”

Maggie slaps her hand over his mouth in a lightning move.
“Don’t say it,
Cael
!”

“I love her and I don’t give a fuck what you say, you
dumb—,” I yell, but a hand covers my mouth before I can lambaste him.

“Shut up!
Both of you.
Stop
treating me like I can’t make my own decisions. I’m a grown woman and I know
what I want and need.” Maggie’s glare bounces between us, warning us to behave.
Slowly she drops her arms. When she backs away from
Cael
and moves to my side, I snap my arm around her waist.

“
Cael
,” she says gently, her hand
covering mine. “Don’t say anything you’re going to regret. You know you
wouldn’t be friends with someone you don’t respect. I love Sean.”

“And I love her,” I add quickly. “I know I don’t have the
most stellar reputation when it comes to relationships, but I swear to you I’d
rather cut off my arm than hurt your sister.”

“You put her in danger. What if…” He doesn’t finish the
sentence and looks at Maggie worriedly.

I know his fears.

My gaze flicks down to Maggie’s face and for a second, my
resolve wavers. My career doesn’t make it easy on relationships. Not only are
my hours shitty, being with me will always carry some risk. There will always
be men like Carmona and Bleed who will threaten me and mine. As much as I can’t
imagine living without her, I never want her to go through another episode like
tonight again.

Was I being selfish by tying her to me?

Her demand to be treated like an equal echoes in my ears. I
tip her chin and wait until she meets my gaze.

What if she decides to
not be with you, Rowan?

I swallow past the sour taste of fear in my mouth and say, “Angel,
being with a cop is hard. We work crazy hours and sometimes you may be in
danger.”

She looks into my eyes and asks, “Are you trying to convince
me not to be with you?”

I shake my head sharply. “No! But I want you to know what
you’re getting yourself into.”

“I know I want to be with you. I’m not naïve. I know there
will be hard times ahead, but as long as we’re together, we’ll be okay.” Her
lips curve sweetly.

The certainty and trust in her eyes make me want to drop to
my knees in gratitude. She deserves someone better than me, but with her words,
she’s sealed her fate. Love floods me and I return her smile. As long as we’re
together, I’m willing to face anything.

Preparing myself for a fight, I stare at
Cael
.
To have her love, I’d go against anybody, including my best friend.

“You and I both know she’s better off without me, that I
don’t deserve her, but I’m not going to back off. The only person who has a
right to tell me to get lost is Maggie. I promise you nobody will love her as
much as I do. Or work as hard as I will to make sure she’s happy for the rest
of her life. I can’t guarantee that there aren’t more psychos out there, but I
promise you I would give my life to protect Maggie.” I glance down at my angel
and she stares up at me, her eyes shining.

I will never give her
up.

I look back at
Cael
and say, “I
know you’re pissed at me for lying to you, but my first loyalty is to her now.
I’d like your approval, but I plan to be with her regardless of whether you
like it or not.”

Cael
stares at me for a long time as if weighing my worth, but it isn’t
until he looks at his sister that he lowers his shoulders and relaxes
his posture. “If you hurt her…”

I nod my understanding that I will have to earn his trust
again. “I know. You’ll break every bone in my body and throw me into the East
River.”

“Glad we cleared that up,” he says, folding his arms over
his massive chest.

I move my lower jaw from side to side. “Fucker, now both
sides of my jaw hurt.”

“Just be glad it’s not your balls.” He smiles evilly and my
sac draws up in defense.

Just then,
Jace
strides onto the
scene, his forehead shiny with sweat. “Thank God she’s okay,” he pants.

Bo nods and makes a sound of agreement.

“Hey!” Eyes wide with astonishment, Maggie points her finger
at
Jace
. “You were the one following me around all
day! I saw you near the subway and then you were waiting for me outside the
lecture hall.” She turns her gaze to Bo, narrowing her eyes in consideration.
“I’ve seen you before, too!
At the coffee shop last week.
Why are you following me?”

Mouth agape, Jason gawks at Maggie in shock.

Bo starts to howl with laughter and claps a hand on his
colleague’s back. “Jesus. Over a thousand missions successfully completed and
this is the first time we’ve been spotted.”

He snorts. “And by a civilian.
Jace
and I should just retire from the business.” He looks at Maggie speculatively,
a small curve on his lips. He sticks his hand out. “I’m Bo Gonzalez.” He jerks
his thumb at
Jace
. “This is
Jace
MacGregor
. Have you considered quitting medical
school to run the CIA?”

Maggie’s giggle starts off a chain reaction and we all start
laughing, needing the much welcome release from an intense night.

“What did I miss?” Marc walks up to us, a look of profound
confusion on his face and we laugh harder.

“So, let me get this straight.” Officer Cox leans back in
his chair and glances nervously at the row of five hulking men standing behind
me. Well, technically four since Sean is sitting next to me, holding my hand
while I give my statement. None of the guys had been willing to leave, claiming
they wouldn’t be able to go to sleep without knowing what had happened.

“You thought
Jace
McGregor was
following you so you and your friend snuck out of the lecture hall using a side
exit.”

“Yes.” I was annoyed with Sean for not telling me he put a
security detail on me, but I couldn’t stay mad at him. He will always do what
he thinks is right and I don’t expect him to change.

“Then your friends and you went your separate ways. You were
walking back to your dorm when your assailant grabbed you and covered your
mouth. In a panic, you dropped your pepper spray.”

I nod, wincing when Sean’s hand squeezes my fingers too tightly.

“He started to drag you into an alcove when you heard a yell
from behind the assailant. You felt his body jerk and he loosened his hold. When
you turned around, your assailant was in a chokehold. You slammed the heel of
your hand into his nose. When he didn’t show any reaction, you punched him under
his chin and kicked him between his legs.”

There’s a collective intake of breath behind me, just as
there was when I told the story the first time. I shouldn’t find this funny,
especially because I had been terrified at that moment, but the longer the night
drags on, the punchier I get and I bite my lip to hold back my giggle.

“Yes. That’s correct.” All of Serena’s lessons had come
streaking through my mind and I aimed for the vulnerable spots she mentioned.

Officer Cox’s gaze flickers to the men again before he continues.
“When the assailant bent over double, you and Ludlow pushed him to the ground. While
you straddled him, Ludlow continued to punch and kick him until Detective Rowan
arrived at the scene.”

“Yes, and that’s when I called 911,” I say.

“I still don’t understand why Ludlow was on the scene,” Sean
says.

The officer hesitates. “We suspect he was following Ms.
Jackson.”

“What? Why?” I ask, shocked. I had assumed Josh was walking
back to the dorms and coincidentally came across the attack in progress.

“On the way to the hospital, he said some things that roused
our suspicions. After he gets out of the hospital, we’ll question him
thoroughly, but from what my colleagues reported, he exhibits obsessive
behavior toward Ms. Jackson. We’re going to recommend a full psychiatric
evaluation.”

Sean leans forward, his gaze sharp. “He’s probably the
perp
who attacked Hannah Michaels.”

I shiver, remembering how he fixated on me when I sat next
to him in the lecture hall. Something scratches at the edge of my consciousness
and then the elusive piece of information slips into place.

“No! It wasn’t Josh. Calvin was Hannah’s attacker!” I tug on
Sean’s sleeve to get his attention. “Sean, it was his smell. Cal always douses
himself with strong cologne. The attacker used the same brand. It’s very
distinctive and I’ve rarely smelled it on another guy. It couldn’t be Josh
because he smells like fruity gum. Cal must have followed Hannah that night or
maybe she agreed to meet with him, but I’m positive it’s him.” My body vibrates
with anger at how he had hurt my friend.

“Sick fuck,” he utters between lips taut with rage.

There are murmurs of agreement behind me.

Sean’s eyes narrow in thought. “A jury won’t convict him on
circumstantial evidence, but we can use the information when we interrogate
him. Maybe hint that Ms. Michaels remembered that night.” He turns to Officer
Cox. “I’ll talk this over with Sergeant Ashby. She’ll want to be the one to
question him.”

Officer Cox nods and says, “All right. That’s everything I
need, Ms. Jackson. I’m glad you’re okay. I’ll finish the paperwork and keep you
abreast of any developments.” A twinkle appears in his eyes. “And don’t take
this the wrong way, but we really need to stop meeting this way.”

I giggle and nod. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Officer,
but I’d be happy to never see you again.”

With a grin, he says, “I’m not offended. Have a good night.”

I stand up, still fuzzy from exhaustion and disbelief. We
walk out of the station and Bo,
Jace
, and Marc take
their leave.

“Maggie, do you want to go with me to the hotel?”
Cael
asks
,
his face still filled
with worry.

Unconsciously, I move closer to Sean.

Cael
looks over my head at Sean and
his tight face gradually eases. Returning his gaze to me, he smiles gently.
“Okay, sweetheart. Call me tomorrow.” He opens his arms and I slam into him,
relieved everything is in the open now.

“I love you,
Mags
,” he says with a
kiss on my head.

“I love you too,
Cael
.” I know
this won’t be the last time I seek comfort from my brother, but we both know he
won’t be the first person I will go to from now on. I give him one more squeeze
around his waist before I move back to Sean’s side and lean into him.

This is where I belong
now
, I think with wonder and meet Sean’s gaze. What I see on his face takes
my breath away.

Love. I feel enveloped by love.

When Sean told me he loved me, I thought the stress of the
situation had unhinged my mind, but it’s finally sinking in. This man loves me
and I feel like my heart is going to explode with joy.

Cael
snorts, breaking our eye lock.
“I can’t be witness to this. You better take care of my sister, asshole.” He
punches Sean lightly in the shoulders.

“Always,” Sean says, looking straight at my brother, making
a promise.

With a smile,
Cael
turns around
and walks away. He looks so lonely. I ache for him to find someone to love him
the way he deserves.

“Let’s go home,” Sean says, pulling my attention to him.

“Yes. Let’s go home.” I smile.

Yes. Home. Home is
wherever he is.

The cab ride is a silent blur.

I gasp in shock when I see the empty apartment. It looks like
a demolition team has gutted the space. Other than the sofa, there’s nothing in
the living room. “What happened to the
furnit
—”
I spin around to look at him.

Lunging at me, he slams his mouth over mine and then nothing
else matters except for being as close to him as possible.
Our
tongues tangle, desperate to take in each other’s essence.

Without breaking the hungry kiss, he cups my backside and
hitches me up. Automatically I wrap my arms and legs around him. He rolls his
hips against me, letting me feel the hardness of his erection. Its heat burns
through the layers between us until I feel like my center is about to burst
into flames.

“I need you, angel,” Sean mutters urgently against my lips.

“I need you, too,” I reply, my blood coursing through my
veins like liquid lightning.

Cheeks dark with desire, Sean moves swiftly up the stairs.
Before we clear the threshold of the bedroom, I’m yanking his tie off his neck
and undoing his buttons. He sets me on my feet and then we desperately tear at
each other’s clothes. Even when we’re both naked with his body covering every
inch of mine, I still can’t get close enough. I want to crawl into his skin.

 
“Now, Sean.
Now!” I beg, opening my legs to make room for him. There is no need for
foreplay. I’ve been ready for him the moment our lips touched and I can’t wait
a second longer to be joined with him.

His eyes flare with passion as he presses his thick cock
against my drenched sex. The skin of his shaft is like hot satin. I tilt my
hips so that his crest aligns with my vaginal opening and then I thrust up,
taking several inches into my body. I’ve forgotten how tight the fit is, but I
welcome the slight discomfort. I’ve felt so empty without him. “More,” I moan against
his throat.

With a flick of his wrist, he turns on the bedside lamp. “I
need to see you.” He rears back, his eyes moving over me like he’s starved for
the sight of me. “You’re so beautiful, angel. Perfect.” His hands clasp my
knees and spread my legs wide apart, exposing where we are intimately joined.
There is no self-consciousness in me. I’ve bared everything to this man. My
body. My heart. My soul.

“I love you, Sean.”

“I love you so damn much, Maggie.” His blue eyes glitter
with strong emotion.

With a low groan, Sean pushes his whole length into me in
one inexorable thrust and I cry out at the too-full sensation. I clench around
his shaft, eliciting an animal-like growl from his chest. Then his hips start
to move. He’s not gentle and I don’t want him to be. Between the weight of his
lower body and his firm grasp on my legs, I can’t move my hips, but I don’t
need to because he feels the same clamoring, insatiable desire as I do. My
fingernails score down his broad back and he grunts in approval. He leans down
and takes my mouth roughly, his tongue mirroring the movements of his cock. Our
mouths and bodies strain to become one.

It is primitive and raw, satisfying the need to assert our
ownership over each other.

In minutes, I already feel the tightening pressure in my
core. Breaking away, I pant and moan, trying to reach the pinnacle.

On the next thrust, he sinks in even deeper, hitting a
sensitive bundle of nerves. I scream as pleasure crashes over me relentlessly, knocking
every thought out of my head until all that is left is white-hot ecstasy.

Gasping, he says into my mouth, “Fuck, you feel so good.” His
sexy words draw out another throb of pleasure from my pussy. He increases his
rhythm and starts to hammer harder into me. I can tell he’s close when his
grits his teeth.

Raising my face I lick a bead of sweat off his neck and say
into his skin, “I love you.”

He groans and with a deep lunge of his pelvis, he finds his
release. The look of ecstasy on his face is mesmerizing. I tilt my hips and
pull him down for a kiss, willing the intimate moment to stretch to eternity. As
if he can read my mind, Sean leans down to take my mouth sweetly and softly. He’s
still hard and thick inside me and I can’t resist tightening my inner muscles.

“I’m going to make slow love to you now, angel,” he
whispers.

He grazes his lips over every one of my freckles as he rocks
his hips. Every thrust of his cock strokes my inner walls lovingly. As promised,
he goes slowly, letting the passion build incrementally until I feel as if I’m
about to burst. And then I do, crying out his name softly at the exact same
moment he does.

When our bodies cool, Sean drops to the side and then turns
me around until we’re spooning. Hand splayed over my abdomen, he nuzzles his
nose against my ear. “I’ve missed you so damn much.”

“Me too.” My body is limp with pleasure, but I have too many
questions to fall asleep. Now that my body is satiated, my mind and heart are
hungry for answers. “How…I mean, when…” I growl in frustration and then flip
around so I’m facing him. “Sean, when I walked out of here a few days ago, you
said you couldn’t love me.” A shard of pain stabs into my heart at the memory.

He tucks a curl behind my ear and gives me a soft kiss of
apology. “I was in denial. I fell in love with you when you wagged your finger
at my father at the party.”

“But you said—”

“Angel, it was all a front.
All of it.
I tried to keep my distance because I was afraid I wasn’t good enough for you. I
thought if you found out about what a bastard I was, you’d leave me. But you
left me anyway and I was miserable.”

“I left because you said you couldn’t love me.”

Another sweet kiss.
“I know, angel.
I know.”

“What were you afraid of telling me?” I ask.

He hesitates, his eyes turning navy blue.

I cup his jaw and say, “There’s nothing you could have done
that would make me love you less. Nothing.” Whatever this man may have done in
the past, I know who he is now and that’s all that matters to me.

He sobers and looks deeply into my eyes. “I’m going to hold
you to that. And if you decide to leave me after I tell you, I’m going to drag
you back and tie you to me for the rest of your life.”

My kiss is a promise to stand by his side. Always.

He takes a deep breath and entwines our fingers. “Did you
know my ex-partner is James
Montanari
?”

I blink in surprise. “What? You know the author of the
Justice Files? He’s Leslie’s husband?”

“Yeah.” He pauses for a long time, his eyes looking into the
past.

“My first partner was ready to retire. Art was a good cop
and taught me a lot, but he wasn’t always the most eager to get onto a scene. He
was overly cautious and it made me crazy.”

I smile, imagining Sean chafing to go after the bad guys.

“When Art retired, I asked my captain to team me up with
James. He hated his partner at the time,
who
was known
to be lazy and apathetic. We always joked that the only time Erwin Woods was in
a hurry was when he went to the locker room to take off his uniform. My cap
wasn’t too keen on the idea of teaming up two new cops.”

He pauses, absently petting my curls. “I knew my captain was
ambitious. I had never invoked my status as a senator’s son before, but I
hinted that my father knew the mayor personally and could put in a good word
for him. My cap agreed to the move the next day. The following week, James was
transferred to my precinct and the captain became the Deputy Inspector a year
later.”

His voice lowers and he tells me how he blames himself for
not drawing his gun on the pimp faster.