Deserve (21 page)

“Hmm…” she hums into my neck. I grin at seeing her looking
sated and content. This is what I want every morning and night. My girl looking
utterly satisfied. At the moment, even the problems waiting for us outside the
bedroom don’t faze me.

After a short nap, we finish cooking the chicken
parmesan
in the oven. It’s soggy and rubbery from sitting in
the sauce for too long, but it’s the best dinner I’ve ever eaten in my life.
Staring across the table at her, an inexplicable panic grips me at the thought
of being separated from her for even a few days.

“
Cael
!” I wave my arms wildly to
get my brother’s attention. As soon as he sees me, he grins and takes long
strides toward me. When he hugs me, I almost cry, I’ve missed him so much. Based
on how tightly he’s holding me, I know I’m not the only one. “I missed you,
Cael
.”

“Me, too sweetheart. I’m so glad you’re home.” He pushes
away and takes a thorough survey of me, green eyes sharp and assessing. “Looks
like New York
agrees
with you.”

“It’s great, but I miss Chicago too.”

He takes a hold of my luggage and starts for the car. “Well,
I have everything planned out. We’re having Thanksgiving dinner at—”

“India Palace,” we both say at the same time and laugh. I
could almost hear our mom’s low laughter chiming in with ours.

Ever since I could remember, Mom took us to a restaurant for
Thanksgiving. It was a special treat for us because we rarely got to eat out
and I suspect it offset the memories of a time when the family unit still
included our father. Over the years, it has turned into a tradition and after
she died, we continued to go to her favorite restaurant.

“Do you remember that one year when you had a craving for
Chinese food?” I ask, linking my arm through his.

He groans at the memory. “And the daily menu was written in
Chinese and I insisted I had to have the special?”

“Mom made you
eat
every single one
of those snails. She and I weren’t going to touch them.” I giggle, remembering
how
Cael’s
face turned green when the dish of brown
shells swimming in soy sauce arrived.

“They weren’t half bad. Kind of chewy, but better than some
of the MREs I’ve eaten.”

“
Eww
…” I wrinkle my nose in
disgust.

“Brat.”

I look down at my feet, hiding my flinch. “Uh…where’s
Rachel?”

“She flew to Oregon to visit her parents.”

At the thought of not having to see her, I do an inner happy
dance. She had been the one dark blot on this trip home. “Oh, that’s too bad,”
I say, hoping I sound sincere.

Within minutes, we are on the road and I eagerly watch the
familiar landscape fly by.

“I tried to get Sean to come out for Thanksgiving,” I say, keeping
my voice casual.

Cael
grunts derisively. “Let me
guess. He’s flying to Puerto Rico with a up-and-coming actress from the latest
Broadway hit.”

Heart sinking, I glance at him. “Is he really that bad?”

“Don’t get me wrong. Sean’s my best friend and he’s as dependable
as they come, but he doesn’t have the best reputation when it comes to women. He
has a very short attention span. Gets bored easily. I don’t know if it’s
because he lost his mom when he was young or if it was exposure to the world of
politics—probably a little of both—but he’s dated more women than I
can keep track of. If memory serves, he took out every cheerleader on the squad.
He was causing so many catfights, I thought the coach would ban him from the
games.”
Cael
makes a sound of amused disgust.

“Maybe he’s changed,” I argue.
Cael’s
description doesn’t match up with the man I know.
But you’ve only gotten to know the real Sean these last few months
whereas
Cael
has known him for over twelve years.
I try to brush aside the words of doubt, but they stick like little burrs under
my skin.

“Not likely.”
Cael
chuckles and shoots
a glance my way. “Why the sudden interest in Sean’s love life?”

My face freezes and I look quickly out the window to hide my
guilty expression. My brother may be clueless when it comes to romance, but
he’s
all-seeing
when it comes to me. “Just curious. We
occasionally hang out and he hasn’t mentioned anyone he’s dating.”

“Good! I don’t want him to corrupt my baby sister with his
escapades.”

“
Cael
! I’m a grown woman.” I
scowl, annoyed that he still treats me like a five-year-old.

“You’ll always be my baby sister. Even when you’re sixty,
it’ll still be my job to keep men like Sean away from you.” He flashes a grin
at me and my heart sinks to my toes. I had considered hinting about Sean and my
relationship, but I abandon the notion.

Sean’s loyalty to my brother is inviolate. Despite how
incredible the last few weeks have been with him, I’m not confident he would
choose me over his friendship with
Cael
.

Hope had swelled when Sean demanded I tell him I love him but
when his response had been “you’re mine,” I had felt let down. I try to tell
myself his possessive words are enough for now, but I know they won’t be for
long. Will he ever be able to love me?

“I got us tickets for the Bears game.”

Forcing a smile to my lips, I ask, “Are you going to scream
at the quarterback that he’s a
jagoff
again?”

His hand pushes lightly on the side of my head. “Brat! Tell
me how school’s going.”

Shoving my misgivings aside, I start to chatter, determined
to enjoy the holiday with my brother.

This trip will give me time to relax my guard for the first
time in what feels like forever. It’s unlikely my attacker would have followed me
to Chicago and I’ve already made plans with some friends to go out on Saturday
night to our favorite club. As much as I already miss Sean, I’m looking forward
to living a normal life for a few days.

Thanksgiving dinner is bittersweet, as always, without our
mom. The next day, we drive out to her grave and spend some quiet time as a
family. This too is a tradition for
Cael
and me.
Shivering in the icy wind, we update her on our lives and tell her how much we
miss her. Silently, I tell her about me and Sean and I swear I feel her wrap
her arms around me in approval.

That night I check my news alerts and my heart stops at the
picture of Sean with Alicia at his father’s luncheon. In the photo, the blonde
rests her hand on Sean’s forearm, her head tossed back in laughter. Sean’s
smile is evident even in profile and jealousy washes over me. I glare at the
image, hating how insecure I feel.

I concurred with him when he suggested we limit our public outings,
but seeing him flirt with other women, especially with someone like
Alicia—sophisticated,
well-bred
, and unlike me
in every way—makes my stomach burn with acid. I know Sean wouldn’t ever
cheat on me, but I wonder if he regrets not being with a woman who fits into his
world of money and privilege.

The next two days pass quickly and I love having
brother-sister time, but I also miss Sean unbearably. When it’s time for me to
leave Chicago, I’m itching with impatience to see him again and the two-hour
flight feels unending.

As I walk out of the terminal, I see him immediately, my
inner radar tuned in to his frequency. Completely forgetting myself, I run and
launch myself into his arms. When I smell fresh evergreen, I feel like I’ve
come home.

“Damn, I missed you, angel,” he whispers huskily into my
ear, bringing me in close to his wonderful body heat.

I squeeze my eyes tightly, feeling pleasure trickle like warm
honey through my veins. Here and now, there are no doubts. This feels right. “Me
too,” I reply.

“Let’s go home.” He entwines our hands, retrieves my
luggage, and tugs me toward the car.

I lean my head against his shoulder and think:
I already am
.

***

“Do you think she’s going to be okay when she wakes up?” I
stare at Hannah’s pale face, hidden behind the ventilator regulating her
breathing. The telemetry equipment beeps rhythmically in the background.

“God, I hope so, Maggie.” Todd reaches his hand across the
hospital bed and we hold hands, silently praying for her recovery. “When I saw
Cory yesterday, he said the swelling has gone down significantly and that’s why
the doctors want to bring her out of the coma.”

A tear runs down my face and I wipe impatiently at it. Brain
injuries are notoriously unpredictable. Hannah may recover with minimal damage
or she could lose most of her mental faculties. It’s impossible for me to
imagine not having the same Hannah back. “This is so fucked up.”

“I know.” Todd leans forward and pushes a strand of her hair
out of her face. “I keep expecting her to open her eyes and ask me to go
dancing with her.”

Releasing Todd’s hand, I pick up hers and squeeze gently. “Hannah,
there’s a new club in
SoHo
that just opened up. I
heard they have a drink called sex-on-my-face. I triple dog dare you to order
it with a straight face.”

There’s no response, but I pretend she hears me and is
smirking.

“
Gawd
! It probably tastes awful,
but she’s going to love it anyway,” Todd says with a smile in his voice.

 
We spend another
twenty minutes talking to her about all the things we want to do when she wakes
up. Then Antonio texts to let us know he’s downstairs with the car and we kiss
her goodbye.

As I walk out of the room, I hear someone call my name and
look up. Recognizing her tall frame and pretty face, I smile warmly. “Leslie!
What are you doing here?” We’ve talked about the case over the phone, but this
is the first time I’ve seen her since I gave my statement.

“James had an appointment here and I thought I’d check in on
Ms. Michaels.” She nods at Hannah’s room. “I hear your friend will be waking up
soon.”

“Yeah. I hope there’s no lasting damage.”

“Me too.” She touches my arm, eyes dark with sympathy. “I’m
sorry we haven’t made any headway in the case, Maggie. Our last hope is that
your friend remembers something from that night.”

“You’ve done everything you can. Whoever he is, he deserves
to go to jail for a long, long time.”

Leslie’s expression hardens with resolve. “I agree.”

Todd’s hand on my shoulder recalls me to my manners. “Oh,
excuse me. This is my friend, Todd
Jorgsen
. Todd,
this is Sergeant Leslie Ashby. Her team is handling Hannah’s case.”

Before they can exchange hellos, a demanding voice comes
from the direction of Leslie’s knees. “Mommy!”

I look down to see an enchanting toddler with dark hair and
hazel eyes tugging on Leslie’s slacks. She bends down and picks up the little
boy.

“Oh!” I stare in fascination at his round cheeks and button
nose. “You must be Mac.” He grins winningly, showing uneven white teeth, and I tumble
into love.

“Mac!” He points proudly to his chest.

Leslie laughs and juggles him in her arms. “Yes, this little
flirt is my son.” She points at
me and Todd
and says
our names. The little guy says Todd’s name perfectly, but turns mine into an adorable
mish-mash.

“Aw…he’s so cute!” Todd bends down to Mac’s level and coos.

“
Pwetty
!” Mac points to Todd and I
start giggling at the startled look on my friend’s face.

Straightening his stance, Todd looks at me ruefully. “Out of
the mouths of babes.”

I elbow him and say teasingly, “He’s got good taste.”

Suddenly I hear Leslie gasp and turn around to see Mac throw
himself out of her arms toward me. Reflexively, I put my arms out, catch him
and settle him on my hip. Completely unaware of the heart-stopping danger, he sits
contently in my arms and pets my hair. “
Pwetty
,” he
says and tugs on my curls.

“Jesus! That was close,”
Leslie
says, her face pale. “Thank you so much. I wasn’t expecting that at all. He has
a new acrobatic trick every day.”

I place a hand on his back to prevent any more surprise
moves. “It’s okay. They don’t call it the Terrible Twos for nothing.” I cuddle
him closer, loving the sturdy weight of him in my arms. He babbles to me and
although I don’t comprehend eighty percent of what he says, he seems to be satisfied
when I respond to the parts I do understand.

Leslie eyes me speculatively and says, “You’re really good
with kids.”

“I’d better be. I plan to become a pediatrician. And I
volunteered at the pediatric ward for years.” I look down at Mac. “Although I
can’t say I’ve ever met someone who moves as fast as this one.”

“The kid has two speeds. Lightning and asleep,” Leslie says
with a wry smile. “James should be finishing up soon.” She reaches out to take
Mac from me and he twists away from her with a loud no.

“His new favorite word,” she says with exasperation. “Come
on, Mac. Let’s go see if Daddy’s done.”

“Daddy?” He perks up and holds his arms out to Leslie. This
time the transfer goes easily and one of her hands clasps his upper back
securely.

“It was nice seeing you again, Leslie. And you too, Mac.” I
lean down and tickle Mac’s chin, which sends him into a fit of giggles.

With a soft smile on her lips, Leslie says, “It looks like
my son has really taken a shining to you. We’d love to have you and Sean over
to dinner one of these nights. I’m sure Mac would like to see you again.” On
cue, Mac calls out his version of my name.

“Oh, that’s really nice of you. I’d love to. Let me check
with Sean.” A look of guilt flashes across her face, confusing me. “You okay,
Leslie?”

She shakes her head and smiles. “I’m fine. I hope we’ll see
you soon. It was nice to meet you, Todd.”

Todd and I wave goodbye and take the elevator downstairs. Antonio
is waiting for us in the lobby. I stare at them with envy as they greet each
other with a kiss and hug. I want—nay, crave—what they have.
The openness of their bond.
The unabashed
proclamation of their love for each other.

Since my return from Chicago, Sean has become more open and
affectionate when we’re alone, but the kernel of discontent has been growing. I
hate not being able to go out in public as a couple. I know I’m being greedy,
but I want everything and I want it now. I have approached him about telling
Cael
about us countless times, but I always back off at the
last minute, plagued by doubts.