Deserve (26 page)

Manny must have read my mind because he mutters an eyebrow-raising
obscenity and says grimly, “He knows where the cameras are.”

Bleed circles my car again, this time ghosting the tip of
his knife along the contours. Then with a wave at the camera, he calmly leaves.

“Bastard wants me to know he’s restraining himself. He could
have slashed my tires at the station, but he wants me to know he’s tracking me.
Demented fuck,” I say.

We check a few of the other videos, but other than a dark
shadow, we don’t catch another glimpse of him. The man moves like a phantom and
I understand why nobody has caught him.

Sitting back in his chair, Manny grumbles, “Damn if he isn’t
good. I’m going to have to reconfigure everything.” The fanatic gleam in
Manny’s eyes tells me he’s looking forward to the challenge.

“If he thinks I’m going to back off because of his little
threat, he has another think coming,” I utter. If anything, Bleed’s little
display has hardened my resolve to get Carmona and his twisted army off the
streets. People like them are the reason I got into law enforcement in the
first place. There is no place in society for these sick fucks.

“You know who he is?” Manny asks, curiosity in his voice.

Nodding, I tell him my suspicions.

“When you catch the ass-wipe, I’ll be the first to take you
out for a celebratory drink,” he says.

“Thanks, Manny.” I pat him on the back. “I’ll file the vandalism
report tomorrow. Night.”

I hail a taxi. As soon as I climb into the backseat, I phone
Bo.

“What’s up?”

“Is Maggie safe?” I never forget that her safety is my top
priority. Now that Hannah Michaels is awake, their attacker must be feeling
desperate. Trapped animals are always the most dangerous and they lash out
indiscriminately.

“Yup. She’s back in her dorm. Her brother spent most of the
day with her. Almost caught sight of my guy,” Bo says with a note of admiration
in his voice.

“Ranger,” I say, not needing to embellish.

“Ah…” The one syllable contains a world of understanding.
“We’ll stay a little further back when he’s around then.”

“If she’s with her brother, she’s safe. I have another situation
on my front.” I tell him about the slashed tires. “I don’t think he knows about
Maggie, but just keep your eyes peeled.”

“Will do, man. We won’t let anything happened to her.”

I wish I were reassured, but something ominous roils in my
gut.

“
Cael
, I can’t do dinner tonight. I
have my last final and then afterwards I’m going out with some friends to
celebrate.” I tilt my head to hold the phone in place as I dig in my bag for my
pepper spray. As soon as I have it in my hand, I relax.

“Maggie, are you sure—”

I cut him off mid-protest. “
Cael
,
I’m going to be with a big group of people. I promise I won’t be alone for even
a second. I’ll have my friends drop me off at my dorm and I’ll text you as soon
as I get back to my room.”

For my sanity, I need to go out tonight. Being cooped up in
my room, with thoughts of Sean swirling in my head, is like jabbing at an open
wound with a hot poker every few minutes. My emotions careen wildly from one
extreme to the other. One minute I hope he comes riding in on a white horse to
tell me he loves me. Then I hate myself for prolonging the pain by thinking of
him. Even my books, my once reliable escapes, have been unable to distract me. Dancing
and drinking with my friends will provide a few hours of respite from my
problems.

There’s a lot of grumbling from the other end of the line,
but I don’t expect my brother to change overnight.

“And then tomorrow, you can be my bodyguard twenty-four
seven,” I offer with a smile.

“Fine. Tell me where you’re going.”

“So you can follow me? Fat chance!” Before he can continue
to argue with me, I say, “I’ve got to go now.
Todd’s here.
See you tomorrow!” I hang up and a second later, I get a text.

You better contact me
by midnight.

I roll my eyes at his over-the-top protectiveness.

Yes, Corporal, sir.

Brat.

I frown at the blinking battery light and turn off my phone,
hoping to preserve the last bar of power. I had forgotten to charge it while I
was studying last night. Patting my bag, I feel the shape of my charger at the
bottom. After my exam, I’ll recharge my phone.

Todd approaches the building, his long limbs eating up the
ground quickly. Dressed in European-cut black jeans and a fitted
peacoat
, he looks like he belongs on the cover of a fashion
magazine.

Stepping out into the cold, I give him a hug. “Hey, Todd.
Thanks for walking me to school.”

“Don’t mention it. Besides I have to drop these books off at
the library. I can’t believe I’m done!”

“Don’t rub it in! I still have one more test to go,
remember?”

“You’re going to ace it!”

“Thanks. I wish Hannah were here to celebrate with us
tonight.” My lips turn downward in sorrow.

“Me too. Hopefully she’ll be ready to return to school next
year.”

“God, I hope so,” I say. Hannah was released from the
hospital a couple of days ago and is now recovering at home in New Jersey.
Thankfully, there doesn’t seem to be any serious damage to her brain, but there
are still gaps in her memory. “We should go visit her after we’re done.”

“That’s a great idea. We’ll set something up next week.”

The sky is getting dark and I shiver in my jacket as we
start walking. Little snow flurries fall from the sky and I pull my beanie
further down over my ears. Having exams in the evening is a pain in the ass,
especially in the winter when the sun sets in the late afternoon. It’s only five
and the shadows are already long and deep.

A tremor runs down my spine as I feel watchful eyes on me
and I surreptitiously study my surroundings. Everyone seems to be intent on
going about their business, but my senses are on edge. My nerves are tingling,
sending a steady stream of adrenaline through my system.

My gaze catches on a dark-haired man with a lean face.
Dressed in plain, drab clothes, he should have been unremarkable, but there is
a stillness in the way he holds his body, like a dangerous predator on the hunt,
that draws my attention. His light-colored eyes seem to drill
into me and my heart jumps in fear
. I turn my head away as
casually as possible, pretending I don’t see him, but I keep him in view from
the corner of my eye.

My legs weaken with relief when I see him turn away and walk
into the subway station.

I press a hand to chest and take shallow breaths.
If they don’t catch this guy soon, I’m going
to have arrhythmia
.

When we arrive on campus, someone brushes forcefully against
me and I jerk back, bumping into Todd.

“Jesus, Maggie. Are you okay?”

I spin around, gaze frantically looking for anyone
suspicious, but all I see are students, stressed out and sleep-deprived.

“Maggie, are you okay?” Todd touches my arm to get my
attention.

Shaking off the paranoia, I take off my hat and wipe my clammy
forehead with the back of my hand. “Sorry. Just rattled nerves
.
” I stuff the hat into my messenger
bag.

He pulls me in for a quick hug. “I’m sorry, darling. Hopefully
they’ll catch him soon. I still can’t believe it might be Calvin.”

“He always gave me creepy vibes,” I confess.

Todd’s eyes round with surprise and he says reproachfully,
“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I had no proof and Hannah was so into him, you know?” I
grimace, wondering if she would have listened to me had I told her about my
misgivings.

“
Nuh
-uh. I know that look. Don’t
drive yourself crazy with what-ifs. She probably would have continued to see
him anyway.”

“You’re right,” I say with a sigh, knowing how strong-willed
Hannah is.

He takes out his phone to check the time. “Your final is in
fifteen minutes. You better get going. Are you sure you don’t need me to pick
you up after class?”

“No, Arianna, Paula, and I will meet you at the club.”

“Alright. Good luck with the test.”

“Thanks, Todd. See you later.” I give him a brief hug and
enter my lecture hall. As I walk up the aisle to my usual seat, I feel eyes
tracking my movements. Suppressing the chill running down my spine, I casually
turn my head and meet a dark, intent gaze.

Josh.

Dressed in black and sitting by himself, he emanates a
sinister aura that puts off the other students.

Don’t even think about
going near Ludlow.

Sean’s warning rings in my ear and
a
recklessness
takes a hold of me. I’m tired of letting some cowardly
criminal define the parameters of my life. I’m tired of jumping at shadows,
expecting to see monsters at every turn.

Hungry to reassert some control over my existence, I march
up next to his desk, ignoring the curious glances of the other students.

Even Josh’s black eyes widen in startled astonishment.

“Is this seat taken?” I ask, gesturing to the seat next to
him.

“No.” There’s a hint of wry amusement in his eyes.

Lowering myself into the seat, I glance at him from the
corner of my eye. He’s looking straight at me and I fight to keep my pulse slow
and even under his black, unblinking gaze. The hairs on my arms stand up in
alarm when his eyes continue to fixate on me.

Stupid,
stupid, stupid.

What the hell are you doing, Maggie Jackson?

The sickly sweet scent of his gum makes my nose twitch and something
nags at my memory.

“Maxine,” I coax, lowering my voice to a soothing register.
“Help us out. He threatened Sheena and her whole family and I want to make sure
he doesn’t hurt anyone.”

She shakes her head, sending bleach-blonde hair flying over
her shoulders. “I’m sorry, Detective. I swear I haven’t seen him,” she says
with a telltale quaver in her voice. Blue eyes darting from side to side, she fidgets
with the hem of her mini-skirt nervously. I don’t know how she walks around in
the dead of winter in her skimpy outfit, but I suppose the less she wears, the
faster she’ll attract a client.

Maxine is only twenty-two, but drugs, alcohol, and hard
living have left their marks and she looks a decade older. I’ve referred her to
social services time and time again, but within weeks she’s always back on the
streets. It amazes me how decent people keep making bad decisions over and over
again.

Marc’s gaze meets mine over her head and our expressions
tighten with frustration. We’ve spent the better part of the day trolling
Carmona’s territory to find Bleed, but nobody is talking. Their silence doesn’t
surprise me. Carmona’s gang is known to be diabolically brutal when it comes to
anyone who betrays them. The last guy caught being disloyal was eviscerated.
Literally.

Resigned to another dead end, I say gently, “Thanks, Maxine.
Have a safe night.”

Her face relaxes and she bobs her head enthusiastically.

Before she walks away, I clasp her arm, wincing when I feel
the scabs along her flesh. “Maxine, if you need anything, please call.”

A small, sad smile flits across her face before she
disappears down the street.

Marc grunts in anger when we get inside the car. “Fuck. Just
the mention of him has them pissing their pants.”

“We’re not going to get anywhere. Let’s go back to the
office.” It’s already eight and we’re too tired to be productive. The drive back
takes almost an hour and both Marc and I are exhausted.

As we pull into the parking garage, my phone rings. Blocked
number. “Rowan here,” I answer.

“Detective. I don’t think you got my message.” The voice has
been digitally altered, but there is no disguising the menace.

“Bleed,” I say curtly, my gaze scanning the garage
automatically.

Marc’s gaze jerks to mine and he pulls swiftly into a
parking space. In sync, we step out of the car and take out our guns in one
motion. It’s unlikely the fucker is here, but he’s proven to be one arrogant
son-of-a-bitch.

“And I thought you were a smart man.” He makes
a
tsking
sound, setting my teeth
on edge.

I force my voice to be calm and nonchalant. “You’re a
coward, Bleed. Hiding in the shadows. Too afraid to face me like a real man,” I
jeer softly.

My taunt finds its mark because his words sound terse, as if
his jaw is locked with anger. “I’m not afraid, but you should be. Since you’re
so dense, I’ve left you a message even you would understand on your desk. Good
night, Detective.”

My gut tightens with dark foreboding at the sound of his
soft, maniacal laugh and I break into a run toward the open elevator doors. I’m
not worried about an explosive device. All packages are scanned before they get
into the building, but knowing Bleed’s MO, it’ll be something gruesome and personal.

Marc is only a fraction of a second behind me. Curtly, I
outline the conversation and he swears colorfully in Italian. We both stare at
the lit numbers over the door, willing the elevator to move faster than its
tortoise-like crawl. As soon as the doors are wide enough, I slide through
sideways and race toward my desk.

Sitting in my inbox is an innocuous manila envelope. There
are no distinguishing marks on it, but I can feel the wrongness of it.
Snatching it up, I slide my finger to open the flap and reach in to pull out
the contents.

“Jesus,” I say through numb lips, fighting not to lose the
contents of my stomach. I would recognize this picture even if all the vital
details were hidden. I had studied it over and over again for months. It is etched
in acid on the back of my eyelids.

Leanne Martin, limbs sprawled at impossible angles.

Covered with bruises and innumerable seeping wounds.

Blood-soaked hair.

Eyes vacant in death.

Only in this photo, the face of Leanne is superimposed with
a cutout of Maggie, her sweet face lit up with a bright smile. At the bottom is
scrawled:
Expiration date: 9:30.

I slap the photo onto my desk, reeling with shock. How the
fuck did he find out about her?

“Madonna,” Marc mutters, eyes round with horror.

Terror and revulsion rushing powerfully through me, I bend
over and brace my hands on the edge of my desk, trying to keep the room from
spinning. Blood rushes to my head, but instead of helping me to think
logically, it makes my thoughts churn even more chaotically.

Get it together,
Rowan.

I try to latch onto the advice, but it’s overruled by panic
and fear. Cold sweat sheens my body as I try to get my mind to work. I smack my
forehead against my desk, hoping the pain can snap me out of it, but in my
mind’s eye, I see Maggie’s body splayed obscenely in death. Her beautiful
spirit snuffed out. Her sunny laugh forever quieted. I gag, bile
rising
up to coat the back of my throat, bitter and foul.

The inhumanly furious thumping of my heart acts like an
electric shock to my system. I place my palm on the organ threatening to slam
through my chest cavity. Threatening to explode in agony at the thought of
losing her forever.

My heart. She’s my fucking
heart.
My everything
. No more bullshit theories about
love. No more
pretense
. I fucking love her and this
sick monster
is
not getting anywhere near her.

A distant part of my brain notes with dark amusement that
Maggie’s not going to like the revelation that I realized I loved her at the
same time I was trying to not vomit.

Get your shit together
or you won’t be making any revelations.
Go
,
go, go
!

The injection of rage and urgency sends a shot of much-needed
adrenaline through my body. My brain kicks into overdrive and I ruthlessly
focus on a plan to keep her safe. Before I’m even fully upright, I have my
phone at my ear.

“What’s up, Rowan?” Bo’s voice is crisp and alert.

“Where’s Maggie?” I ask, fighting for calm. Having a
pansy-ass panic attack is not going to help the situation. I make eye contact
with Marc and jerk my chin toward the exit. It’s a testament to the strength of
our partnership that he starts moving without asking any questions.

“
Jace
is watching her. Let me get
him on the phone.”

I hear indistinct murmurs in the background.

Bo says promptly, “She’s still at school. Her exam is
scheduled to end soon.”

“Bleed knows about her.” I describe the doctored photo and
Bo makes a snarling sound. “Tell
Jace
to sit on top
of her as soon as she walks out of the building.”

“Roger that. I’m heading over there now.”

At Marc’s questioning look, I briefly outline the situation
and explain about the protection detail I put on Maggie.

“At least she has professionals looking out for her,” he
tries to reassure me.

“But I won’t feel right until I can see her,” I say, anxiety
gnawing at my gut.

When we reach the car, Marc gets into the driver’s seat.

I give my partner the address as I tap on Maggie’s number.
As expected, it goes to voicemail. She probably shut her phone off for her
final exam. “Maggie, it’s Sean. When you get this message please call me,
angel. It’s urgent. Also, when a man named
Jace
McGregor
approaches you, please do everything he says. He’s there to protect you. Don’t.
I repeat. Don’t go anywhere by yourself. I’m on my way to see you and I’ll
explain everything as soon as I get there.”

When I hang up, I call
Cael
.

Stubborn fuck is still not answering. Mule-headedness is
definitely a family trait. “Asshole, it’s Sean. Maggie’s in danger because of a
case I’m working on. Call me as soon as you get this.”

It doesn’t surprise me when he calls me a minute later. I
knew he was listening to my messages.

“What the FUCK do you mean Maggie’s in danger?”

“A gangbanger is trying to get me to back off from a case. He
found out about our relationship and is going after her.”

“Relationship?”
Cael’s
voice is a
carbon steel blade.

“YES!” I shout into the phone. “You can beat me to a pulp
later,
asshat
! I already have a guy watching her, but
I need you to get to the school. Stat.”

“Fuck! I’m in Brooklyn having dinner with a friend. I’m
heading back right now.”

Shit. Shit. Shit.
Always too far away.
“I’m on my way to Columbia. I’ll
call you as soon as I get to her.”

Marc’s curse draws my attention and I follow his gaze to see
a bus skid sideways and plow into a cab. Pandemonium erupts as passengers
stream out onto the street and screams fill the air. I swivel my head to look
behind us and we’re completely blocked in.

“FUCK!” I scream into the heavens, feeling like this is punishment
for all my shit. I look at the clock. It’s already 9:28 and my nerves are
prickling with unease. Checking the surroundings, I unbuckle my seatbelt.
“We’re not too far from the school. I’m going to hoof it.”

“I’ll come as soon as I get out of this mess. Go get your
girl.”

I slam the door and start running. The icy ground makes it
tricky to pick up speed and I swear as my feet slide from under me.

When my phone rings, I pick up without slowing my gait.
“Rowan.”

“We lost sight of her.” Shame and disgust are rife in Bo’s
voice.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” I yell, ignoring the startled passersby who
steer clear of me.
Good,
I think
savagely.
Get out of my way.

“She never came out of the lecture hall with the other
students.
Jace
and I split up to watch the main entrances,
but she must have used one of the exits in the back. I’m sorry, Sean. We’re
scouring the area for her right now. We tried calling her, but it goes straight
to voicemail.”

“Jesus.” My blood turns to pure ice. What if
Bleed
already got to her? What if her attacker got to her?

Shit, I had been the one to put her in danger.

For half a heartbeat, I consider staying away from her for
the rest of my life, but I immediately dismiss it. I’m not that fucking noble. Even
before I had my epiphany, I had been gearing up to go after her. I wasn’t going
to leave her alone until she took me back. I had only waited because I had to
take care of Bleed and my own shit. I never imagined he would find out about us
and go after her.

When I get my hands on
her, I’m going to handcuff her to me
, I vow to myself.

Ignoring the dangerously slippery road, I pick up my pace. “I’m
almost there. Meet me at the entrance of the building in three minutes.”

I tap on Maggie’s number, but it kicks into voicemail.
“Angel. It’s Sean. Call me. Please.”

Still running at full speed, I call
Cael
.
I won’t hide anything from him again.

“Sean, what—”

“We can’t find Maggie.”

“WHAT THE FUCK?”

At any other time I would be amused at how alike we are, but
right now, I need
intel
.
“Did she tell you where she might have gone?”

“She said something about celebrating with friends, but she
wouldn’t give me any details.”

“Why the fuck didn’t you get her to tell you?” I know my
anger is misdirected, but I feel like I’m coming unglued.

“Fuck you! You’re the one who put my sister in danger,” he
roars.

“Fuck. Fuck. FUCK! We don’t have time for this. Where are
you right now?” I need as many people looking for her as possible.

“I just crossed the bridge.”

Shit, still too far away. “Do you remember anything else? Do
you know who she was going out with?” I see the silhouette of the lecture
building ahead and I push my body to move faster.

“She didn’t mention any names, but I remember her saying her
friend, Todd, was walking her to school.”

“Todd
Jorgsen
?”

“I didn’t get the last name.”

“FUCK! What’s wrong with you?”

“When my sister’s safe and sound, Rowan, you have a date
with my fist.”

“Bring it!” I end the call and turn to the two men waiting
for me. Panting from my run, I gasp, “Anything?”

Bo shakes his head. “No, we checked the perimeter, but
there’s no sign of her.” He left the Marines years ago, but his speech pattern
still retains the staccato rhythm of the military. He’s my height, but bulkier
in the chest and arms. His dark hair is shorn to inches within his skull. He
has a deceptively boyish, friendly face, but a sharp observer would know he’s
dangerous from the way he moves, economical and restrained. His dark grey eyes
are never still, constantly assessing and weighing everything around him.

“I fucked up,”
Jace
McGregor says,
standing stiffly as if awaiting disciplinary action. “I didn’t expect her to
take evasive action.” His light blue eyes look eerie in the dark.

I want to lash out, but I know he’s not to blame. My sprite
is damn unpredictable. “I should have warned you she’s doesn’t always do what
is expected.” I comfort myself that if she evaded
Jace
and Bo, she might have also escaped the notice of anyone else who might be
stalking her.

God, please let that be
the case.
My only option is to move forward on the assumption she’s okay.
Anything else is unacceptable.