Denial (36 page)

Amy’s face softened. “How is he?”

“Oh, he’s great. The kids love him, and he’s been in a relationship for a few years now. He’s here with his partner, Colin.”

Celeste watched curiosity flit through Amy’s eyes.

Amy looked at her for a long moment. “Okay,” she replied finally.

Delighted, Celeste let out the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. They both agreed that she would visit the following day at noon. After they parted, Celeste spent a restless night wondering if she would ever see Amy again.

Chapter 43

After her first visit to meet the children, Amy found it hard to resist them, particularly the little girl, Naomi, whom she got on with immediately. Daniel, although slightly hesitant, was as warm as Naomi.

When Celeste asked her to meet the children that night in the café, Amy had thought, No, it ends here. But when she looked at Celeste’s tense face, the will to refuse disappeared. Just this once, she had thought. Surely, that can’t do any harm.

Amy admired Celeste for taking on such a big responsibility and she couldn’t hide her curiosity about the children, and once she discovered that Alex was here, she knew she just had to see him.

As it turned out, one visit stretched into several as Amy found the children irresistible. After her training, Amy had chosen to work in a children’s ward, and although she had grown attached to many of the children, being around healthy, boisterous kids was a good antidote to some of stresses of dealing with sick children.

Amy also liked Alex’s boyfriend, Colin. He was taller than Alex, six-foot-four with dark, wavy hair. He was a sports teacher with a crooked nose from playing sports. Amy was surprised by how extremely funny and warm he was, and quite unintentionally took his good humor to heart, finding his and Alex’s company extremely enjoyable.

Amy had developed a strong relationship with Alex, Colin and the children over the last three weeks, but kept Celeste at a distance. This weekend, though, the children had asked her to go camping with them to Loch Lomond.

†

“The burgers will be ready soon,” Alex shouted to Colin, who wanted to know when they would eat.
Attending the barbecue, Alex was in the middle of preparing lunch.
“Just get on with your job and get the tents up.”

It was a hot day and Amy was busy trying to get a wriggling Naomi into a swimsuit. Succeeding, she picked her up and hugged her. Celeste, standing beside them, teased Naomi with ice cream.

Alex watched them for a few moments then looked around him. He had fallen in love with Scotland. He loved the rugged landscape and the warmth of the people. Somehow, on their trip to this loch, he thought they would see Nessie, but Amy told him that Nessie resided in Loch Ness, in Inverness, more than an hour and a bit drive away.

Buttering the buns, Alex smiled. He liked the way Amy said an hour and a bit, instead of the precise time. In fact, he liked the whole Scottish way of doing things, which tended to be relaxed and informal. But, he thought, opening a carton of orange juice, there seemed to be a plethora of lochs in Scotland. Why he had got it into his head there was only one, he didn’t know.

Alex’s reverie was broken when he heard a couple of jet boats whiz by. He growled. He hated those things with a passion. They were noisy, pollutants to the natural habitat, and with their spinning rotors, chopped up anything that came within reach. He continued to lightly growl until they disappeared, leaving them to the quite solitude of the small beach they had found.

Alex smiled when Celeste splodged Naomi’s nose with ice cream, and laughed when Naomi fell into a fit of giggles. He laughed even harder when Celeste did the same to Amy’s nose. The look of shock on Amy’s face sent Naomi into further kinks of laughter.

Dodging Amy’s playful swipe, Celeste moved out of the way then innocently licked her ice cream.

Alex’s heart twisted, Celeste and Amy looked so natural, so right together. He smiled thinking about how caught up Colin had become with the whole situation. Although Colin was aware of Celeste and Amy’s history, over the years he had tried to encourage Celeste to date. No matter how often Alex explained the situation, Colin just volleyed with a simple explanation that he didn’t like her being on her own. Since meeting Amy and seeing how much they fit together, Colin was now desperate for a happy ending. He wanted them together.

“I’m starved.
 
When are the burgers going to be ready?”

Alex looked at Colin. “Almost done, sweetie,” he replied lovingly.

“God, Amy is really attractive, isn’t she?” Colin said. “The more I get to know her, the more attractive she’s becoming.”

Alex smiled. He looked over at Amy and noted the changes in her. Since meeting up a few weeks ago, her mood seemed much lighter and she laughed more often. She also looked healthier. There was color to her face. Her hair seemed more luscious. Her natural beauty was shining through.

“Did you see the look on her face when Naomi told her that we were going camping?”

Alex nodded and said quietly, “Her kids were killed on a camping trip.”

“I know that!” Colin replied. “I thought she was going to pass out. She almost jumped at the offer to come when Celeste asked her.”

Alex picked up the orange juice. It was very clear to him that Amy was a tortured soul. He poured juice into plastic cups.

“They look so right together, don’t they?”

Alex nodded. When Celeste told him she had taken a leave of absence and would he and Colin like to go with her to Europe, he had been keen—until she told him the true reason. He had tried to talk her out of it, thinking there was no way that Amy would want to see them. Colin, the eternal romantic, agreed with Celeste and here they were.

To Alex’s surprise and great pleasure, they seemed to be making inroads with Amy. Colin and the children had made her promise to quit smoking, and because she doted on the children, it had been over a week since her last cigarette.

Alex felt a sudden twinge of disquiet. Those inroads though, so far, hadn’t extended to Celeste. For the last few weeks, Amy had given little attention to Celeste. What he could do about it, he didn’t know. He did know that Amy had been to hell and back and, at this moment in time, he was just glad that she was accepting their company.

“Yes,” Alex responded, coming out of his reverie. “They do look right together.” Filling a few buns with burgers, he tried to hide his disquiet. “They look every inch the happy family.”
 

“Talking about family, and not that I know Amy,” Colin said, reaching for a bun. “But don’t you think it’s weird that she’s never asked about Celeste’s family. I mean she knows that Josh is in a relationship, yet she doesn’t seem even a little curious about it.” Biting into the bun and chewing, he added with a mouth full of food, “She must see that Celeste is completely and utterly crazy about her?”

Alex frowned. He was also concerned that Amy was avoiding any intimate conversation. Over the weeks, he had noticed that she never mentioned Maggie or the twins, or asked about the Cameron family. Never once had she asked about Josh or his new life. Josh and his partner of three years had an eighteen-month-old baby girl with one on the way.

The first time that Naomi mentioned Uncle Josh, Denise and the baby, Alex’s mouth gaped open but Amy didn’t react. From then on, any time Naomi or Daniel mentioned them, Amy never once queried.

Alex looked at his partner. “Colin, she knows full well about Josh from Irene, I’m sure. She certainly knows how Celeste feels, but it’s obvious she’s not ready to deal with anything yet.
And
,” he said seriously, “we can’t push her. When she’s ready to talk, she will.” Colin opened his mouth, but Alex gave him a look. “She’ll talk when she’s ready.” He stuffed another bun into Colin’s hand. “Okay?”

“Okay,” Colin replied as he looked at Alex’s frowning face. “I know you’re right.” Colin said, adding ketchup to his burger. “Maybe when we’re in Greece next week, she’ll open up.”

Colin had never been outside of the States, and next week, as part of their two-month trip, they were going to Greece to sail the Ionian Sea. Amy had refused to come with them. So, Colin took the indirect route and coached the children. Fortunately, Alex thought, as he smiled to himself, the little gremlins wore her down until she agreed.

Serving up lunch, Alex hoped the sailing trip would relax Amy enough to let down her guard with Celeste. He smiled at his partner. “Colin, she’s been gone for a long time and we don’t know much about it. I don’t think it’s going to be the happy ending that you think it is.”

“Look, I’m an optimistic guy.”

“You’re also someone who doesn’t understand what Amy’s been through.” He looked at Colin. “Don’t push it.”

Colin winked at Alex before biting into his second burger.

†

Normally vacation time from the hospital required at least a few weeks’ notice, but since she had never taken any time off, and Sandra was her Staff Nurse, Amy arranged leave for the sailing trip easily.

On Saturday, they flew to Corfu and set sail in the afternoon. The Jeanneau yacht Celeste had chartered was luxurious.

From the first day, Amy wore long sleeve shirts and linen trousers. She hoped that everyone would think it was because she was so pale and unused to the intense heat of the sun. On the second day, Colin snapped her out of her absorption of watching Celeste plot the next day’s course on the chart. “Why aren’t you sunbathing?” he asked, sitting next to her.

Amy hesitated. When they had been at Loch Lomond for the weekend, she had covered up there too, but the weather hadn’t been warm enough to raise concern. Now, the sun was searing and it was obviously too hot for the clothes she was wearing. Amy hadn’t known how to address the reason, and was surprised that she hadn’t explained earlier. She hadn’t expected to be as self-conscious as she was. Knowing that Celeste was close by and would hear, she took a deep breath. “A few years ago, I was in a fire. I was burned.”

Celeste’s head flew up at the word burned. Fear flitted across her eyes and her stomach clenched. She felt sick at the thought of Amy being hurt. She held her breath and listened. That day in the café, she had seen scars on Amy’s hand, but they were just a few and didn’t seem serious.

Celeste put down her charts and approached Amy. “Show me.”

Amy hesitated. “I—”

She touched Amy’s cheek. “Show me, please.”
 

Self-consciously, Amy unbuttoned her shirt and dropped it.

Celeste caught her breath, and Colin covered his mouth, stifling a gasp. The shirt hung around Amy’s waist with only a bra to cover her. Celeste could see that the scarring was bad. It was mostly based on her right side and ran from her shoulder down her side, covering part of her chest and stomach, only stopping at her hip. Celeste whispered, “Turn around.”

Amy did as she requested.

Her back, across its entire length, was scarred. Some parts were thick with white, gnarled skin. Celeste asked quietly, sadly, “Your legs?”

Amy turned back to face them. “Not touched in the fire, but my thighs are marked from skin grafts.”

Celeste placed her hand on Amy’s hip. “What happened?”

“Wrong place.” Amy pulled her shirt up. “Wrong time.”

“Tell me.”

Amy looked at Celeste. “I stayed at a hostel in the outback of Australia,” she said, buttoning her shirt. “The building was mostly wood and caught fire. It was an accident waiting to happen; the place was poorly built. I only intended to stay there a few days.” She smiled faintly. “A few travelers were moving on, so there was a farewell night with lots of cocktails.”

Amy folded her arms protectively. “I don’t really remember much, other than it was some crazy themed night and someone gave me a Hawaiian-style shirt to wear.” She raised her eyebrows. The cocktails were potent and I got drunk pretty quickly, then fell asleep.”

“The shirt, I take it,” Colin asked, “was highly flammable?”

Amy nodded.

“How did you get away?”

“It was shouting that woke me up. When I tried to escape, my shirt caught fire. It wasn’t fully buttoned,” she reported, matter-of-factly. “And I managed to get some of it off.” She pointed to her side. “Most of the damage was on my side and my back.”

Celeste looked at Amy and swallowed hard. All that pain, she thought. Lifting her hand, she ran her fingers lightly from Amy’s shoulder down to her hip, slowly feeling the contours of the scar tissue through the shirt. She looked into Amy’s eyes and whispered, “I’m sorry, Amy. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”