Denial (32 page)

“Why marry? Why not just go out with him?”

“If I’m truthful, I think I just needed to let loose.” Celeste smiled. “And he was the first real taste of freedom I had.” She drank more wine, then sat back. “Between training and studying, I hadn’t time to really let go.” She stared off. “And Nick was captivating; full of life, impulsive. Everything about him seemed fast-paced, chaotic, all about chasing the moment. Whereas everything in my life was planned. Everything was based around my swimming. What time I got up, how many days I trained, how many training sessions I had in a day, for how long. What I would eat, when I would sleep, when I would study.” She looked at Amy, the corners of her mouth quirked. “The list is long.”

Amy reached for her wineglass then sat back. “He was the opposite to everything that you were at the time?”

Understanding that Amy wanted to know, Celeste nodded. “I liked him. I liked his passion.”

“And when he asked you to marry him?”

“I just went with it,” Celeste said. “Swimming was over.” She touched her right shoulder. “And it was the nature of how we were together, to just go with things.” She smiled when Amy’s eyebrows lifted.

“Where is he now?”

Celeste looked away. “I don’t know. We lost contact.” She shrugged. “We were kids. His parents were divorced and moved out of state just before we met.” She looked at Amy. “That probably goes a long way to explaining why he was desperate to marry. He needed something solid and secure in his life. He was an only child with no close ties.”

“Apart from you?”

Celeste didn’t answer.

“What would you do if he came back?”

Celeste eyed Amy curiously. “Why?”

“Just wondering,” Amy replied. “You wouldn’t be tempted to,” she hesitated, “reconcile?”

Recognizing a note of jealously, Celeste hid her smile and toyed with teasing Amy. She opened her mouth then caught the serious look in Amy’s eyes. “No,” she said as she eyed her appreciatively. “I know what I like now. My tastes have matured.”

Amy looked at Celeste. “Is that so?”

“Yes,” Celeste replied softly. “That’s definitely so.” Taking Amy’s hand in hers, she added, “Eat.”

†

That evening, lying in bed with Amy, feeling filled and content, Celeste sighed. She had, amongst the small gifts that she had brought and given Amy over the weekend, a final surprise. Most of the gifts were things that she couldn’t resist buying when they inspired thoughts of Amy, which were constant these days, but this one was special.

Celeste got up and left the room, returning with a package. Sitting, she handed it to Amy.

Sitting up eagerly, Amy took the shoe-sized package. Looking at it, she turned it around in her hands a few times. She smiled excitedly and shook it. Hearing it rattle, she asked, “What is it?”

Thankful it wasn’t fragile, Celeste tried to hide her enthusiasm. “Open it.”

Sitting straight, Amy tucked her legs underneath her.

Celeste moved closer. She caught her breath when Amy tucked her hair behind her ears and gave the package her full attention. She loved Amy’s little idiosyncrasies. Like the way she tucked her hair behind her ears when she needed to focus, or rubbed her forehead whenever she was about to say something serious. She particularly loved the way she said ‘of course,’ whenever she was caught off guard, but the one that made her knees weak, always, was when making a decision, Amy often caught her bottom lip in contemplation.

Reaching out, Celeste smoothed Amy’s tousled hair, then let her fingers trail down to her full breasts, before drawing a finger slowly around and over the nearest nipple.

“Now, new rule,” Amy said, removing Celeste’s hand. “When you bring gifts, you’ve got to wait.”

Unwrapping her package, Amy smiled widely when Celeste huffed at her.

Opening the box, Amy’s mouth hung open. She dropped the bundle as if it had burnt her fingers. Looking at Celeste in bewilderment, she blushed deeply. Staring at the contents of the box, then at Celeste, she stuttered, “You’ve…you’ve got to be joking, right?”

Amy stabbed at the strap lightly with her finger. Repulsed but curious at the same time, she picked it up and said as if she was holding something macabre, “I’ve never actually seen one of these in the flesh
 
so to speak.”

Intrigued, Celeste watched Amy.

Holding it high, Amy stretched out a strap and said in amazement as she studied it, “It’s very real looking isn’t it?” Her expression changed quickly from amazement to alarm. Raising her eyebrows, a touch of panic tinged her tone, “You don’t honestly expect me to wear this thing, do you?”
 

Celeste had bought it earlier that week. It had been on her mind for many months, since that night in New York, in fact. Amused, she stretched out on the bed. “I think that I was expecting to wear it.”

Amy looked at her “What!” she said in astonishment. “I can’t take
that!
” her eyes widened. “Jesus, Celeste, that thing is huge! Much bigger than…” her voice trailed off. A deep color suffused her face. She stared at Celeste then nervously threw the object on the bed and said with some alarm, “The thought of using something like that has never even entered my head.” She leaned over to where she had thrown it and pushed it off the bed.

Seeing she was upset, Celeste reached out and pulled Amy down on top of her. Feeling the tension in her body, she wrapped her arms around and held her tight.

Amy let Celeste hold her. Angrily, she thought about the strap-on and a familiar sense of confusion began to build up inside her.
What is she trying to do? Push me to my limit!
She closed her eyes. Here they were, two women together, making love, finding pleasure, absolute, and unbelievable pleasure with each other.

Pleasure that she should be having with Josh, Amy thought guiltily. She tried to ignore her inner voice when it told her that it was much more than physical.

Since her talk with Irene, Amy hadn’t stopped thinking about what it all meant. Focusing on Celeste, she said gravely, “I don’t think we’ll be using that. I mean what has gotten into you!” She pushed away from Celeste and sat up. “I mean why would you want to wear…a…a…
dildo!
I don’t understand!” She threw her hands in the air and moved off the bed. “Isn’t what we have good enough?”

Reaching out, Celeste grabbed Amy’s arm. “Shhh.” She pulled her into her arms. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

Eyes wide, Amy asked, “Why, Celeste? Why?”

“Because,” Celeste replied as she held her, “I want to know what it feels like to share this part of you. I want to watch you move underneath me and be inside you.”

Frowning, Amy said in growing confusion, “You have been inside me! I don’t need that.” She pointed to the empty space on the bed. “I just need you.”

Stroking Amy’s face, Celeste rubbed her nose against her. “I want it,” she said. “I promise you, it will be a very sensual experience.” She kissed Amy gently. “Can you trust me?”

Amy’s frown deepened. She said nothing, but her stomach flipped at Celeste’s plea. Celeste was intoxicating and Amy knew if she pushed she wouldn’t have the willpower to resist any of her demands.

Celeste kissed her deeply then whispered, “Trust me, Amy.”

Catching her bottom lip, Amy thought about how this was the one area that was exclusive to Josh, and how he had something that up until now Celeste could never give her. Amy realized, stupidly, that she had believed that somehow she would never be able to compare them.

Now there is nothing, no matter how flimsy, that I can keep for him alone
. Amy rubbed her forehead as she looked at Celeste.

Looking for an answer, Celeste raised an eyebrow then did the one thing that Amy could never resist. She whispered, “Please.”

Amy bit her bottom lip, sighing in defeat, she nodded.

Celeste slipped off the bed, to where Amy had pushed ‘it’ off, and slipped it on.

Amy watched with fascination, and had to stifle a laugh at how ridiculous Celeste looked. She raised her eyebrows in surprise when the brunette opened a small bottle and watched in shock as she applied lubricant.

What the hell have I let myself in for?
Amy thought, her mouth hanging open.

“It comes with it,” Celeste said, her eyes twinkling as she applied the lubricant liberally. She snapped her mouth shut when Celeste approached, unable to believe that she was actually going to let her put that thing anywhere near her.

When Celeste slipped onto the bed and lay down, Amy looked at her.
If it is a floorshow she wants, then a floorshow is exactly what she’s going to get!

Sitting up, Amy straddled Celeste and suppressed her laughter when she looked up at her in surprise.

Amy looked down at Celeste. It was rare that she was immediately ready for entry, usually she needed some foreplay, and even though Celeste had used lubricant, Amy knew the girth of the thing between her thighs was certainly something she wasn’t used to. Lifting her hips, she positioned herself over Celeste’s new toy and held it.

Celeste caught her breath. A look of astonishment, then pleasure, crossed her face.
 

Amy stopped. She looked down at the woman beneath her. The incongruity of Celeste’s breasts and the thing between her legs made her feel strange. “This is weird,” she said, pulling back a little.

Celeste rested her hands on Amy’s thighs and stroked them. “A good weird? she asked, her eyes full of desire.

Amy looked at Celeste. A deep need gripped her. “Yes,” she replied huskily. “A good weird.”

“Amy I—”

“Hush,” Amy said. Looking into Celeste’s eyes, she lowered herself slowly. Closing her eyes, she let out a loud groan, half in pain and half in pleasure, as she slowly pushed past the band of muscles. Opening her eyes, Amy looked down. She had taken it all. Eyes widening, she looked at Celeste. Neither moved.

Celeste seemed too terrified to even breathe. Eventually, she uttered, “Oh God, Amy.”

Feeling completely filled, Amy’s nipples tightened until they ached. She whispered, “Touch my breasts.”

Celeste moved her hands to Amy’s breasts and closed over them. She almost purred as she stroked them.

Amy groaned and rocked her hips gently. Lifting high, she let Celeste see her toy enter her a few times, as she slid up, then down it slowly. Letting her insides adjust, Amy became aware of the ridges and nubs as they caressed her inner walls.

Placing her hands on Amy’s hips, Celeste whispered, “I love this. I love—”

Amy groaned loudly, losing Celeste’s words as she slid all the way down.

Celeste moaned and moved her hips up and down. Their eyes locked. Amy felt the power of her actions. With each slow teasing movement, Celeste’s eyes grew darker and more intense. Her face flushed, she gasped for air each time Amy raised up then pushed down.

To Amy’s delight, every time she moaned Celeste’s eyelids drooped and her head fell back. Amy’s eyes sparkled when Celeste’s jaw worked back and forth. Smiling wickedly, she ran her hands up and down Celeste’s stomach, loving the way the muscles underneath her skin trembled, the way they tensed up then relaxed to the movement of their hips.

Breathing hard, Celeste pulled Amy’s hips close to her for some anchorage then thrust with complete abandon.

Flushed with excitement at Celeste’s loss of control, Amy laughed and whispered, “Slow down.”

Breathless, Celeste’s eyes focused. Smiling, she sucked in air. “You on top of me like this. It’s…overwhelming.”