Denial (14 page)

Sophie lilted, “If all that we get, we just borrow. If all we make is just sorrow.
C’est la vie
.” Sophie smiled. “Listen,” she said comfortingly. “I see that it isn’t all one way.”

Celeste
gave her an inquisitive look.

“I’ve been watching her. It’s clear to me she’s attracted to you.”

“So, what are you telling me?” Her head getting fuzzy,
Celeste
squinted slightly. “That it’s all right to make a move on Josh’s wife?”

Sophie spread out her hands. “
No!
” she replied. “No! Of course not! C’mon,
Celeste
, giving you permission, even for me, would be a little weird! But there’s a connection between you and
Amy
.”

Celeste
shook her head.

Sophie shrugged. “Maybe you and I are destined to share the same fate, loving someone else’s man.” She arched her eyebrow, “Or woman in your case?”

Feeling the rawness of Sophie’s words,
Celeste
responded haughtily, “I’m not in love with her.” The tequila kicking in fully, she added wryly, “Just seriously attracted to her!” Leaning forward,
Celeste
looked at her sister. “A few years ago, I met someone.”

“Boy or girl?”

“Girl.”

“Pre- or post-Nick?”

“Post.”

“Did you two get it on?” Sophie asked eagerly.

Celeste
eyed her little sister. “Get back to your bridge, you evil troll. Your powers don’t work here.”

Sophie laughed. “Sorry. Blame the voices. I just do whatever they tell me.”

Celeste
grinned.

“Was it love?”

Celeste
’s grin slipped away. “Maybe,” she replied. “It’s difficult to say, it was all so new.”

“New in terms of being with a woman?”

“Yes.” Celeste pushed her hands through her hair. She sighed. “I guess at college I flirted with the idea, but with Felice…” her voice trailed off.
 

“What happened?”

“She was killed.”

Sophie caught her breath. She looked at
Celeste
with surprise then honest regret. “I’m sorry.”

Celeste
nodded slowly. “Me too.”

“Why have you never told me this?”

“I couldn’t.”
Celeste
looked at her sister. “It was too painful.”

Sophie eyed
Celeste
for a while. “
Amy
, where does she fit in?”

“I don’t know,” Celeste replied. “All I know is that I meet my brother’s bride-to-be and, you’re right, I get the hots for her!” She shook her head. “What the hell is all that about? I must be fucked up.”

“Rebound?”

Celeste
shook her head. She smiled sadly. “Maybe I need an appointment with your therapist?”

“Nope,” Sophie said, looking her sister up and down. “Don’t you get it yet, sis. Nobody can resist you, not even
Amy
.” She shook her head. “It wouldn’t be long before he’d be offering you three maybe five weekly sessions!”

“Garbage!”

“Garbage my ass,” Sophie replied. She clicked her tongue. “You’re oblivious, aren’t you?” She sighed. “That’s what makes you so attractive, Cel.” She threw out her arms. “The fact that you’re beautiful and you don’t give a shit about it.”

“Give it a rest, Sophie. Not you too.”

Sophie laughed. “Fortunately, you’re my sister. She shrugged. “So, as always, I’m prepared to forgive you for not giving a shit, for some fucking reason.”

“You’re drunk.”

“I know.”

Celeste
swigged some tequila. “I don’t like it.”

“I know.”

“Why am I attracted to her?”

“She’s hot,” Sophie replied. “You’re a dyke. The stars shine at night. It’s the way things are.” She shrugged again. “Accept it.”

Celeste
shook her head.

“Maybe it’s a lot to do with your work.”

Confused,
Celeste
looked at her sister. “What do you mean?”

“It makes you see things differently.”

“What?”

Lighting the last cigarette, Sophie mumbled something.

“What are you saying?”
Celeste
asked as Sophie inhaled deeply.

“You see all sides of humanity.”

Confused, Celeste
shrugged.

“With your job you see extremes of human nature, right?”

“Maybe”

“There’s no maybe about it.” Sophie looked at
Celeste
. “You go to places where there’s war and famine, and all sorts of shit like that.”

Knowing her sister was more than capable of going off on a tangent, Celeste frowned and tried to figure out what Sophie was telling her. She raised her eyebrows. “
And?
”

“And, I guess, in some ways, it’s a privilege to get to see all sides of humanity.”

Now completely confused,
Celeste
asked, “What are you getting at, Sophie?”

“What I’m getting at
Celeste
,” Sophie replied. “Is that where you’ve been, gives you clarity. What you’ve seen means you don’t care about the things that someone like me or most people I know care about.”

Confused,
Celeste
replied slowly, “Okay.”

“I mean, you don’t give a shit about the rat race or things like material gain or what people think.”

Still confused,
Celeste
looked at Sophie.

“Few of us will leave a legacy,” Sophie said, looking at
Celeste
intently. “In a hundred years, who’ll care about what we did, what car we drove, what house we lived in, how we worked, what principles we had? Who’ll know or even care about what or who we were. A hundred years from now, no one will care.”

“This is all very profound, Sophie, but—”

Sophie interrupted. “But because of what you do. It makes you understand what’s important. Makes you understand your own mortality,
Celeste
. Makes you understand that in reality rules don’t mean shit.”

“What’s your point, Sophie?”

“The point,” Sophie replied, scrunching the empty cigarette pack. “Is that it makes you less frightened to pursue what you want.”

Suddenly curious,
Celeste
tilted her head.

“Conforming isn’t what you do anymore. You might have taken your time to come back home, but I know you. I know you play down what you feel for
Amy
. And I can see you’re fighting it.” Sophie drew in her breath then exhaled slowly. “You want to go after her. You want—”

“Enough!”
Celeste
said, raising her hand. Beginning to feel more than a little queasy, she swallowed hard.

Sophie looked at her sister then stood. “I’m going for more cigarettes. Do you want anything?”

Celeste
shook her head. She watched Sophie walk away. She looked up at the night sky and soon fell asleep.

Drops of light rain fell on Celeste’s face. Sitting up, she groaned and held her head. Feeling woozy, she tried to organize her thoughts, but the rain began to fall heavily. Standing, she ran to the summerhouse. Once inside, she loosened her wet clothes and rummaged around for a towel. Finding one, she threw it over her head and began drying her hair.

Chapter 17

As a mother of two, normally Amy would be asleep before her head hit the pillow, but unable to forget the incident with Celeste, she had found it almost impossible to sleep, tossing and turning each night. Tonight, too restless to even try, she decided she needed a late night walk to tire her out, only to get caught in the sudden downpour.

Stumbling through the door to the summerhouse, soaking wet, Amy grinned, enjoying that unique sense of exhilaration that only rain can bring. She closed the door and ran her fingers through her hair, immediately feeling her mood lighten. Turning, she jumped in shock when she saw Celeste, bent over loosening a lace on one of her sneakers.

Startled, Celeste looked up at Amy. Trying to stand, her watchstrap caught her lace. Shaking her arm, she tried to release it but lost her balance.

Transfixed, Amy watched Celeste teeter and fall, all tangled up, Celeste spread across the rug.

Rushing to her rescue, Amy asked, “Are you okay?”

“What do you think?”

Amy tried not to laugh. Seeing the normally cool, calm Celeste thrash around the room and fall flat on her arse was priceless.

Celeste glared up at Amy. “It isn’t funny!”

Helping her untangle her watch from her shoelace, Amy replied soothingly, “I know. It was just so…unexpected.”

Once free, Celeste shot up. The speed of her action caused Amy to stagger back and fall against the wall. The air rushed from her lungs when Celeste’s full weight fell against her.

Celeste took advantage of her position. Leaning back, only slightly, she positioned her hands on either side of Amy’s head, trapping her. She looked Amy over carefully then fixed her with a gaze. Hiccupping, she pouted her bottom lip.

Amy struggled to stop the laughter that was bubbling out of her. Eventually gaining some control, she looked directly into Celeste’s frowning face. Clearing her throat, she tried to look serious. She inspected the light swelling where Celeste had hit her head. It was evident from the reddening on her temple that she would have a mark tomorrow. Gently, as if talking to one of her sons, Amy said, “You’ll have a wee mark tomorrow, but nothing to worry about.”

Celeste gave Amy a lazy smile. “What are you doing here?”
 

Suddenly aware of how close they were, Amy straightened and, placing her hands against Celeste’s shoulders, tried to push her away. Instead of moving, Celeste astonished her by pressing her gently against the wall.

Looking into troubled blue eyes, Celeste grasped Amy’s right hip.

Surprised, Amy exhaled sharply then sucked in air when Celeste ran her hand down the side of her wet denim cutoffs.

Looking intently at her Celeste whispered, “Do you remember that night in your apartment?”

Speechless, Amy stared into Celeste’s eyes.

Celeste leaned in. Amy felt her hot breath on her ear. “I do.”

The hairs on the back of Amy’s neck stood.

Hesitating briefly, Celeste let her fingers trail down Amy’s bare thigh, then slowly back up, stopping only when she reached the hem of Amy’s cutoffs. Making eye contact, her hand slid further up her thigh. “In fact, I’ve never managed to get it out of my mind.”

Amy closed her eyes and swallowed hard. Her eyes flew open and widened in shock when Celeste’s fingers began an exploratory journey up and down the length of her thigh, climbing higher each time.

“When I look at you,” Celeste whispered, “I want to see my brother’s wife, but I don’t. All I see is someone I want.”

Amy caught her ragged breath; Celeste was stroking the top of her inner thigh.

Breathing heavily, Celeste leaned her head gently on Amy’s. “I know it’s selfish,” she said, lifting her head when her hand reached its target. “I know who you are and I shouldn’t touch you like this, but I’m finding it harder to fight this.”

Groaning, Amy involuntarily pushed her hips forward. Dismayed by her body’s betrayal and attempting to fight her growing desire, she pleaded, “Celeste. I’m begging you—”

“Begging me to what?” Celeste asked, studying Amy intently. “To stop?” She lowered her dark lashes. “It doesn’t feel like you want me to stop.”

Ashamed by the extent of her arousal, Amy’s face suffused with color.

Celeste started the slow trail again. Looking deeply into Amy’s eyes, she brushed her lips over her mouth. “I know that tomorrow we’ll want to deny this ever happened,” she said throatily. “But not tonight, Amy,” she whispered.

Lifting Amy’s T-shirt, Celeste stroked her stomach.

Amy’s nipples stiffened in response. Closing her eyes briefly, she shivered with pleasure.

Celeste brushed her lips over Amy’s mouth again then asked with a note of vulnerability, “Do you want me?”

Amy’s stomach flipped, her insides tightened, a bolt of desire shot down her spine, but she said nothing. A shock of electricity ran through her when Celeste kissed her. She swallowed visibly when the brunette slowly withdrew her hands and pulled away.

Fire swept through her veins. Unable to hold back any longer, Amy surrendered. Shaking heavily, she ran her tongue over her lips before hungrily reaching for Celeste. “Do I want you,” she replied huskily as she gripped Celeste’s arms and pulled her close. “I want you so badly.” She swallowed. “I want you more than
anything!
”

Never breaking eye contact, and wanting to rip away anything that was between them, Celeste quickly undid the top button of Amy’s cutoffs. Loosening the rest, she pushed the denim over her hips and down her thighs. They dropped to the floor.

Impatiently, Celeste kicked the shorts out of the way. Placing a hand against the wall, she slipped the other between Amy’s thighs, urgently seeking her warmth.

Amy groaned and arched into Celeste. “Oh God.”

Celeste moaned loudly, Amy was so wet. She wanted nothing more than to consume her. Her desire for Amy was so overwhelming that Celeste recognized she needed this, like she needed to breathe.

Her thigh muscles shaking, Amy’s breath was coming in short bursts.
Celeste, Celeste, Celeste.
Her mind could form no other words.

Celeste stroked Amy in small circles.

“Yes!”Amy croaked. She placed her hands on Celeste’s shoulders and rocked her hips to relieve the increasing pressure. “More!” she groaned, spreading her legs. “Inside,” she begged. “Please. Go inside me.”

Celeste slowly pushed inside her. She caught her breath when Amy’s lips brushed over her neck.

A groan left Celeste’s throat. She pressed against Amy’s clit and increased speed. Placing her lips gently at the base of Amy’s neck, she bit.

Amy’s hips surged forward and she cried out, “Yessssss!”
 

Celeste closed her eyes and worked Amy until her hips surged forward one final time.

A deep groan left Celeste’s mouth. On fire, she instinctively took Amy’s hand and placed it between her thighs. Holding it tight, and still inside Amy, she moved against her. Already driven over the edge with Amy’s repeated moans, within seconds, she came.

Breathing heavily, Amy tried to move, but Celeste, catching her own breath, pushed Amy’s shoulder firmly against the wall. Shaking her head, she made it clear that they weren’t going anywhere. Celeste faced the truth: her desire for this woman was beyond anything she had ever experienced.

“Celeste, I—”

“Shhh,” she whispered, kissing Amy’s neck.

Celeste wondered what the connection was between them. Like Amy, she didn’t want this. She had plans that involved her staying here, being close to her family, but she couldn’t go on like this. She couldn’t continue to feel this intense yearning. They needed to do something.

Celeste finally accepted that the only thing to do was to burn this attraction out. Slowly, she removed her fingers and half-smiled when Amy let out a sigh of relief.

When Amy tried to straighten, Celeste pushed her fingers back inside then out and over Amy’s clit. She watched with pleasure as Amy’s eyes widened with surprise, narrowed with protest and finally filled with need.

Amy whimpered and her head dropped to rest on Celeste’s shoulder as she pushed into her.

Celeste knew by Amy’s response that it wouldn’t be long. Her own desire was also building quickly. She closed her eyes, and tried to find the strength to stop. She desperately needed to leave Amy hungry for more.

Amy pushed her face into Celeste’s neck, and moaned as she worked toward orgasm.

Celeste slowed.

“Don’t stop,” Amy said, her voice muffled. “Oh God, I can’t believe what you do to me. I need you. Don’t stop. Please.”

Celeste stopped and pushed away.

Amy’s arms reached out, but Celeste moved out of reach.

Straightening, Amy leaned against the wall and looked at Celeste in confusion.

Celeste watched Amy struggle to regain some composure. She waited until she had her full attention then moved toward her. Raising her left hand, she looked at the glistening wetness on her fingers. “I wonder what you taste like?” she asked, running her wet fingers along Amy’s lips.

Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, Amy stared at Celeste in shocked surprise.

Stepping back, Celeste smiled at her. She placed all three fingers into her mouth and sucked on them.

Turning, Celeste left the summerhouse with the glorious image of Amy’s jaw gaping open and raw desire pooling in her eyes.

Walking toward the house Celeste was fully aware that she had unleashed something in them. She only hoped it would be quickly satisfied—for both their sakes.