Dark Grace (22 page)

We sat on the floor of the ranger station and ate as a group of three while there was still daylight. It was early spring and days were still short. The dense trees of the rain forest created long shadows and made days feel even shorter. Gus had cut strips off of the bed sheet and wrapped them around my chest snugly to help ease the pain of engorgement. Bobby had politely not commented. While we all wished there was more food, it was the fullest I had been in days. We agreed that it would be best to leave at first light in hopes of reaching Neah Bay before another night passed.

The only light we had was from a single flashlight.
Not knowing how long the batteries would last, we’d be using it only if necessary. Gus had tied the door shut using the twine from the car. The length of cord went from the door knob to the small kitchen table, which had been moved to directly in front of the single entryway. Anyone trying to open it would pull the table against the threshold, and be unable to gain entry. Since we didn’t have keys for the car, it was left unlocked. While the bed was small, the three of us shared it for warmth and what comfort we could hope for. I found myself in the middle and was glad as the cold of the night was quickly creeping into the little wooden structure. I snuggled up to Gus, with Bobby to my back. We had all talked for a long time before hunkering down for the night, getting to know each other. Bobby was already feeling like she belonged with us. In this new evil world, I had discovered just how quickly new bonds can form.

Gus wrapped his upper arm around me gently, and kissed me lightly on the lips as the last of the daylight faded away.
“Sleep well,” he whispered into my ear. “Dream the dreams of the living.”

I nuzzled against his chest and slept.

***

“She’s beautiful,” said Emilie. “Everyone’s here to see her.
She’s so loved.”

“She needs to be with me,” I said with an aching heart.

“Look, they’re all here. Your mom and dad, your sister, Wanda, Julio, Louisa, Julio Jr., Jane. Even Bill is here.”

For the first time, Emilie's face wasn't hidden by the background of the sun.
Her freckles stood out against her pale skin and she was smiling warmly. She was holding Molly in the whitest blanket I had ever seen. It almost glowed. My sweet baby with her dark curls peeked out at me and cooed.

“She’s grown,” I said.
My arms ached to hold her, and so I reached out.

“You can hold her,” said Jane, who was suddenly standing beside Emilie.
“But just for a minute. We have to go soon.”

“Go where?” I asked.

“To the other side, silly!” the little redhead giggled.

“Molly needs to stay with me,” I whispered as Emilie placed her into my arms.

My soul was suddenly filled with purpose and contentment. Molly felt nearly weightless and she was all things good. I looked into her beautiful eyes and felt at total peace.

“She can’t stay,” said a familiar voice.
My sister. I didn’t want to look away from my baby, but lifted my eyes to search for her. I couldn’t see her, but could hear her sweet feminine voice. “Zoe, she has to come with us. She will always be a part of you, living inside of you. But you have to let her go now. Mom and Dad and I will be there with her, and your friend Emilie will always be at her side. You’ll go on to have more children, and you have to honor Molly by loving each of them.”

“No” I said firmly.
“I only want Molly.”

“It’s time for us to go,” said Emilie.
I looked back down to my arms, which were once again empty.

“Molly!” I screamed.
“Don’t take her!”

***

“Zoe, shhh. Wake up.” Hearing Gus’ voice was confusing to me. He didn’t belong with the others.

“They took Molly,” I cried out.

“You had a bad dream,” he said. “It was just a dream.”

“They were all there.
Everyone who’s died. They took Molly with them to the other side.” I fought to catch my breath.

“Is she ok?” whispered Bobby to Gus.

“She’ll be fine,” he answered softly. He was rubbing my back with one hand.

“I’ve been dreaming about Em a lot lately.
Gus, I don’t think they’re just dreams.”

“You too huh?” he said.
“She’s talked to me lately too.”

“Who’s Em?” asked Bobby.
The only subject we hadn’t talked about was the others in our groups. We had kept conversation matter to our lives before the dead rose. That had felt safest.

“She was a dear friend of ours.
We lost her several days ago,” explained Gus, being vague.

“I’m so sorry,” said Bobby.
“I guess we’ve all lost people by now.”

“She’s gone, Gus.
Molly’s really gone.” I wanted to cry, but found myself unable to. I felt empty inside; a deep indescribable void.

“I know, darlin’, I know.”

“She’s not just dead,” I moaned. “She’s gone with the others and I can never hold her again. Emilie let me hold her. She let me hold her.” I knew that I must sound insane, but didn’t care.

“We’ll get through this, love,” he soothed.
“We’ll get through it together.”

His hand caressing my hair was comforting.
I nodded against his chest.

“It’s getting light out,” said Bobby.
“We should get going.”

“Oh God,” I groaned.
“There’s dead coming this way.”

“How many?” asked
Gus.

“Three.
Maybe four. They’re from the highway.” I wasn't able to see any images but felt their hunger and sensed which direction they were coming from. “They’re getting close.”

“Ok, everyone on their feet.
Let’s get our asses into the car. Grab what you can.”

“There’s no food left.
Just the clothes and blankets,” said Bobby.

“Ok, can you grab them?” asked Gus.

“I’ll keep my hands on the shotgun. Zoe, you take the knife.”

We were all standing and I could hear Bobby stripping the bed.

“There’s no time, Gus. They’re outside the building. By the windows.”

I could hear moaning getting louder as the creatures approached.
Screeching and snarling ensued, sounding straight from the depths of Hell.

“Oh God, not again,” whimpered Bobby.
The horrors she must have been through.

“Keep your heads about you,” instructed Gus.

The sound of bony fingers on the glass panes of the windows filled the room, making me cringe.

“Still only three or four?” asked Gus.

“For now. There’s more behind them; maybe a mile back.”

Early morning light was starting to fill the room and I could now see myself, Gus, and Bobby through the eyes of the creature at the window.
We were a hazy white, blurred as a result of its eyeballs decaying. Its hunger was intense, like a scorching fire that needed to consume everything before it. I concentrated until the images it saw were washed from my mind, and my vision was again my own. The creature at the window had its gaping jaws against the glass, a shriveled and dried tongue lapping at the glass. I couldn’t be absolutely certain, but the soiled orange jumpsuit it wore looked like prison garb. The skin on its head was sloughing off, exposing a browned skull that had bits of dried flesh clinging to it. Other unseen hands were pounding on the outside walls, trying to gain entry. I kept my focus on the creature at the window. It lifted its stump of a nose high and began howling. A keening of sorts. I tilted my head to one side, confused. I knew it was saying something, but wasn't sure just what. It was a language, though. Of that I was certain. The other dead keened back, but in shorter bursts.

“They’re talking to each other,” I whispered.
     

“Zoe, I want you to cut the twine and then step back quickly.
Our best bet is to let them in and take them out one at a time.” The keening stopped suddenly as the door knob was tested. “Now, Zoe, don’t think about it…just cut the twine.”

I was already moving toward the makeshift ‘lock’ on the door, the knife I had found in the drawer in hand and readied.
It took several strokes to saw through the skinny rope, since it was a smooth blade and not serrated. As soon as the twine snapped free, I stepped backward as quickly as I could. A low clicking sound began outside of the door, followed by a high pitched growl.

Through the corner of my eye I could see that Gus was standing with his shotgun readied.
I did the same with the knife I still held. Bobby was farther behind us, holding onto the back of a wooden chair.

The door slowly swung open, creaking as it went.
A shrill screech of rage and hunger filled the room, along with the stench of death and decay. A short, round Roamer stumbled into the room, knocking the table out of the way. It was mottled black and green and not as decomposed as the one at the window. It wore a dress that was filthy and shredded. It was faster than I had expected and rushed toward me. Before it reached me, a deafening shot from Gus’ shotgun rang out, felling the zombie. It landed in the middle of the floor, next to the wood stove. Matter from inside its head was splattered on the walls of the kitchen. The zombie in orange entered next, snarling in anger. Directly behind it was a third Roamer. The closer of the two turned to look at the other and they clicked in sequence with one another. The third was the ‘freshest’ appearing, deceptively still looking like a living human. It had clear green eyes that nearly sparked with life. I dared to sneak a peek at Gus, who was already firing. The one in back was knocked backward by the spray of pellets from the gun, landing just outside of the threshold. Mr. Rot, the only one remaining, crouched down into a position that was meant for attack. It fell silent but its perpetually gaping jaws seemed to mimic a snarl. It had locked eyes with me.

I found myself unable to move and was unaware when the knife was taken from my hand until Bobby ran forward with it, slamming it into the dead prisoner’s left shoulder.
It wrapped itself around her, attempting to bite her, and Gus and I both rushed forward at the same time. Bobby was struggling to hold it back, avoiding the snapping jaws of the creature. She was oddly quiet, only grunting softly with effort. Gus cursed under his breath when he tried to fire and found his gun jammed. I looked around frantically for a weapon, finding only the fork we had all shared the night before. I scrambled to fetch it from the small kitchen counter. Rushing back with it, I grabbed the hair that was barely clinging to the back of the zombie’s head and pulled backward. It was moving its jaws hungrily. They went slack when I shoved the tines of the fork into the hole where it had once had an ear. Gus slipped his arms under Bobby’s armpits and dragged her backward as the Roamer slumped forward onto the floor. “Bobby, did it bite you? Scratch you?” asked Gus frantically.

“No, I don’t think so,” she said, out of breath.

“We’ll have to risk waiting and check her for wounds later,” I interrupted. “The other Roamers are almost here.”

“Ok, in the car, now!” ordered Gus.

We didn’t bother with grabbing any of the clothes or linens, but I did pull the knife from the Roamer’s shoulder as we left the ranger station. I heard the moans of another wave of the dead as we rushed into the car.

Bobby had been the first to the driver’s side, so took the wheel while Gus found the wires that would bring the engine to life.
No sooner had Bobby backed out and begun to drive back toward the highway when the dead collided with us. The first body to make contact with the fender fell apart rather easily. The second and third were much larger and fresher, causing metal on the car to bend.

“Bobby, keep it steady.
We have no choice but to go through them. We can’t risk hitting one of these damn trees.”

“Ok.”
Both of her hands gripped the steering wheel tightly causing her knuckles to turn white from lack of blood flow.

Some of the dead fell, some remained standing, but as we drove on I looked back and watched as the fallen rose again.
They followed us, always hoping for a meal. The farther we got from the ranger station, the fewer bodies impacted with the car. I could sense more ahead, not far from the turn off that we needed to take. I was unable to tell if they, or we, would reach the intersection first, but decided to encourage Bobby to go just a bit faster.

We got back to the highway just barely ahead of the horde that I had sensed heading in our direction. We could see them in the distance, so drove as fast as possible to put more distance between us and them. Once they were out of sight and also out of my head, Gus offered to take over at the wheel, but Bobby insisted that she was fine driving for a while. Back on highway 101, we headed west. Signs had started to mark the connection to highway 113, which would lead us around the accident near Clallam Bay that had blocked our prior route. The roadway was rough in many areas, slowing progress. We hadn’t found any signs of the rest of our group. I was beginning to wonder if they had traveled in this direction after all. We stopped every couple of hours to stretch and Gus had climbed into the back seat with me on our last break. We didn’t talk, but sat close to one another and took comfort in just being together.

Once we reached the turn off to highway 113, I took a turn at the wheel.
Gus sat up front with me, allowing Bobby to sprawl out on the back seat. Before long I could hear her snoring softly.

“I feel bad for her,” I said as I drove.
“Bobby, I mean.”

“
I get the feeling that fucker back there did bad things to her.”

“She seems nice.”

“Ayup. That she does.”

“We haven’t talked about the day we spent alone on the island, or what happened the night before Molly was born,” I muttered, daring to change the topic.
Just being able to mention her birth was a step forward for me.

“I’m ready when you are,” he said with a sigh.
“I think you know how I feel, Zoe, but I won’t let my feelings get in the way of your being happy. You say the word, though, and I’m yours. Heart and soul.”

“It’s hard to know how to feel,” I admitted.
“I know I loved Molly. I think I loved Boggs once….in some way. I love you too, but it’s different than with Boggs or the baby. It feels…forbidden…when I think of you.”

“Do you still love him?” he asked. I knew he meant Boggs.

“I think I always will. As a best friend, or at least as the best friend he once was. And as Molly’s father.”

“That’s an honest answer.”

“I know we’ve hurt him. And I know we can’t pretend nothing happened and go on like things used to be just to make him happy. And I don’t think I can ever forgive him for leaving us; for not being there for Molly. And I know there’s a chance we’ll never find him again.”

“I’m here for as long as you want me.
But if you decide it’s not me that you want, I’ll understand.” He placed his hand on my thigh and squeezed gently.

I looked over and smiled weakly at him.
“You’re a generous man, Gus.”

“Nah.
Just especially fond of you.”

I kept my eyes on the road while Gus kept his hand on my bare thigh.

“Do you think it’s weird that you’re almost twice my age?” I asked, broaching a subject that had been on my mind for a while.

“Age is just a number, Zoe.
We’re both adults. Would I have ever considered being with a twenty year old before? Honestly, no. But that was a lifetime ago. I look at you as another adult, equal to myself. I feel very protective of you, but it’s because you mean a lot to me, not because you’re young.” His thumb was gently stroking my thigh. “And I have to admit, I’m thankful our paths crossed.”

I looked over at him and smiled gently.

***

Gus took a catnap while I continued to drive north on the highway.
Bobby was still snoring in the back seat. I was glad to have time to think; some time to myself. Thoughts of Molly crept into my mind at random intervals, but I forced them aside knowing that I had to focus on not falling apart.

I slowed the car as I approached a bridge at a river called the
Pysht. I would have laughed at the name, in the time before the world fell apart. I pulled to a complete stop next to a large charcoal gray Excursion with tinted windows. The bridge over the river had collapsed, making it utterly useless. Metal trusses were twisted like fingers reaching down into the water and broken concrete dotted the edge of the riverbank that led down to the swift water.

“What’s going on?” asked Bobby as she stretched in the back seat.

“Bridge is out,” I said glumly. “Gus, wake up,” I said in a slightly louder voice.

“I’m awake.
I see it.”

“What now?” asked
Bobby.

Gus sighed loudly, and then began rubbing his chin in a telltale sign that he was deep in thought.
“There’s no other roads that’ll get us there. The only other way would be by boat, and the Strait can be treacherous this close to the ocean.”

“Where else could we go?” asked Bobby.
“I’m not even from the area. I have no idea what’s around here.”

“We don’t have enough gas to get far,” I said idly.
I wasn't prepared to abandon our search for the others.

“If we’re lucky the SUV over there might have fuel left in the tank,” sighed Gus.

“We can’t turn around,” I said rather pathetically.

“We’re not even sure they came this way,” he answered.

“I don’t care. I’m not turning back.”

“You’re stubborn, Zoe.
Let’s get out and stretch; check out the SUV.”

I was already half way out of the cramped car, needing fresh air to clear my head of the anger that was building over obstacles at every turn.
I walked as close to the edge of the fallen bridge as I dared, looking at the water below. It wasn’t as wide as I had expected and the mangled remains of the bridge might work for getting across on foot. The road beyond was curved and it was impossible to tell what lay beyond. I wondered if we might be able to walk a while without getting eaten in hopes of finding another vehicle on the other side.

“Aren’t Nate and Susan your friends?” asked Bobby.

I looked back to where her voice had come from. She was standing beside the Excursion holding a piece of paper.

“
Yeah,” answered Gus questioningly.

“They were here,” she said.
“There’s a note.”

I began running toward her and Gus.
“What does it say?” I asked excitedly.

Gus took the note and read aloud.

Z & G, Hoping you make it this far. Went back to vet office and furniture store but you were gone. You know we lost Jane. The rest of us are alive. Headed to Adam’s g-parents motel. Crossed river on foot. Will try to get a car & leave it for you on the other side of the river. Will wait at motel as long as able. Stay safe. Stay alive.

Susan & Nathan

Once he was done reading it, I took it from his hands and stared at it. “They were here,” I said with a smile.

“Looks like we get to cross your river,” said Bobby.
She seemed upset.

“You ok, Bobby?” asked Gus.

She shook her head back and forth. “I can’t swim.”

“We’ll use the structure of the bridge,” I said.

“Is it safe?” Her eyes were full of fear.

“I’ll make sure you stay safe,” assured Gus.

“Bobby, I know you don’t know us well yet, and I know asking you to go on with us like this is unfair. I promise you that you can trust Gus with your life, though,” I said.

The poor woman had tears welling in her eyes, but nodded.

“It’s not the river that scares me so much as going on foot. The upside is that there’s never been much of a population out this way,” said Gus. “So hopefully the dead will be sparse. We’ll take what weapons we have. Leave the rest behind.”

The others had left two bottles of water behind in the SUV for us, along with some stale graham crackers.
The three of us shared them quickly, and then readied for the crossing of the Pysht River. I had nowhere to tuck the knife I had salvaged from the ranger station so handed it off to Bobby for safekeeping. Gus slung his shotgun onto his back so that the strap crossed his chest. He suggested that he cross first with one of us and then come back for the other. I refused, and said I would follow him and Bobby. Clumsy as I tend to be, I knew that Bobby needed more help due to her fear.

We descended the embankment slowly, off to one side of where the bridge had fallen.
Gus warned us both that we needed to be mindful of what we grab onto since there would be a lot of sharp edges. The ruins of the bridge were much more intimidating close-up, and for just a moment I reconsidered the wisdom of pursuing this path. Gus was now wearing a pair of dark green “Ranger Pants,” which fit his waist but fell short in length. He instructed Bobby to hold onto the back of his waistband as much as she needed. He would go slow and help direct her steps, and I would watch and follow their path. The rocks were slick with moss and I fell on my butt at the water’s edge. The other two didn’t notice, so I stood and just moved forward. The sound of the water rushing by was loud, making communicating with the others nearly impossible. They were thankfully slow-moving. After about ten feet we were forced to get our feet wet as the water deepened. There was a length of metal railing from the bridge that twisted out into the current, and I watched as Gus stayed close to that. He and Bobby stopped when they were thigh-deep and waited for me to join them.

“We’re going to have to swim,” he shouted over the noise of the river.
“Bobby, I want you to climb onto my back and hold on while I get us across. Zoe, you sure you’ll be ok on your own? I can come back for you!” he hollered.

“No,” I shouted back.
“I’ll be fine!” I could feel the dead inside my mind, closing in behind us.

“Watch your feet!
There’s bound to be twisted metal and broken concrete! Bobby, whatever you do don’t let go of me!”

My teeth were beginning to clatter together from the ice cold water.
“Let’s go!” I hollered.

Bobby climbed onto Gus’ back and wrapped her legs around his midsection with her hands on his shoulders.
As they moved forward as one, I worked hard to keep up. Not only were my feet turning numb, but the current was picking up. I held onto the fallen guardrail as long as I could, but eventually had to let go when it twisted downward into the depths of the swirling water. Gus seemed at ease in the river, and I only imagined that Bobby must be using all of her energy to stay calm. They were neck deep in front of me, so it took me by no surprise when I encountered the drop off that sent me plunging into the freezing water. My breath caught in my chest as the last warmth was sucked from my body. Gus was farther ahead of me than I cared for, so I kicked my legs and paddled with my hands as hard as I could. My shin collided with something beneath the water, causing a dull ache. I did my best to ignore it, and continued on. Eventually Gus and Bobby began to emerge from the deep water, and I knew we’d be out of the river soon. Finally I found blessed footing. There was less of the bridge wreckage where we were climbing out since we had drifted downstream with the current.

Finally on the other side, we scrambled out of the water and tried to catch our breath.
Now would have been a great time to own a spare set of dry clothes.

“We need to keep moving,” I huffed.
“To keep warm and stay ahead of the dead.”

“Do you sense more behind us?” asked Bobby.

I nodded. “Yeah. As far as I can tell I can sense them when they’re within maybe a mile.”

“How about ahead of us?” asked Gus.

“Not yet.”

“Ok, let’s move on.
First priority is either a strong shelter or a car,” suggested Gus. I admired how he always slipped into a role of leadership so naturally.

“Thanks,” said Bobby through clattering teeth.
“For getting me across.”

“Don’t mention it.”
Gus stood and then held a hand out to each of us. “Shit Zoe, you’re bleeding.”

I followed Gus’ gaze down to my left leg, where indeed a small steady stream of blood was running down toward my foot.
“I hit it on something in the deep part. I didn’t know it was cut.”

He knelt down on the ground in front of me and looked at the wound.
He made his signature clicking noise and sighed. “It doesn’t look too deep, but let me know if you need to stop.”

“’Kay.
Gus, where’s the shotgun?” I asked, noticing it was no longer strapped around him.

“Fuck, the strap must have broken in the water!
Let’s get moving.” He looked pissed.

Gus stood again and the three of us began the ascent to the remaining roadway above.
I used several shrubs and ferns for handholds. I could feel the dead getting closer behind us. Their hunger was sickening and mixed with a rudimentary rage. I climbed with renewed desperation to put distance between them: the dead, and us: the living.