Crushing Desire (15 page)

Joshua choked loudly. She could never pass for a man. She would surely be discovered if she tried. If Reena were caught, she would pay her passage on her back. The thought of a lonely crew of sailors finding Reena, alone and unprotected, made Joshua’s bile rise. He’d be damned if he would leave her to the mercy of a lustful crew of sailors or even at the mercy of fate.

“You mustn’t do this. Your uncle will come around. Speak to him again, and you’ll see.” He attempted to hand her back the coin.

She looked at him, and then glanced at the pouch that he was trying to fold into her hand.

“Perhaps I can... Well no, that would never work.” She took the small bag and turned from him, still muttering her plans.

Joshua surveyed her for a moment. He knew he had to talk her out of this imprudent plan.

“You’ll do nothing, or I shall be forced to tell Howard. This foolish notion may very well get you harmed or killed, and I won’t have you running off with some impractical plan that—”

She turned silently, but her expression froze the words on his tongue. Her jaw was set, and her eyes blazed such as he had never seen in her before.

“I swear to you, Sir, if you even think to tell my uncle of my plan before I can execute it, I shall never speak to you again.” Her voice was deathly calm at first, but rose as she continued to speak until Reena was very nearly shouting. “I don’t understand how you all could decline to help. This is my father’s health and possibly his life that we are discussing. I do not know how you can be so callus and uncaring as to deny me—”

“Miss Harrison.”

“What could well be the last opportunity—”

“Reena!”

Her words ceased at the tone of his barked command, but her eyes filled with tears that threatened to spill over. At the misery he saw in her, Joshua found himself experiencing an emotion that he hadn’t encountered in years: helplessness. Pulling her into his arms, he held her close, offering her the warmth and strength of his body.

“What if he dies, and I never see him again?” she whispered softly through her tears, and Joshua kissed the crown of her head.

“That will not happen.” He knew that she couldn’t be talked out of it now, not when it meant so much to her, and he wasn’t so heartless as to try again. There was another solution to this problem.

“I’m going with you.”

“What?” Her brow furrowed.

“I’m going with you. I won’t let you travel alone. Anything could happen, and I should prefer you have someone to protect you, should you need it.”

“You could say I’m your younger brother,” she said excitedly, warming to the idea. “And we could tell—”

“No.” He cut her off, knowing her thoughts. “You won’t pass as a boy.”

He looked at her exaggerated curves, and then back at her face, which had reddened slightly.

“I understand that I don’t have a petite figure, but that is what the packing cloth is for. I should bind and appear as though I was only somewhat hardy, nothing more. Besides, with my height it will work. It has to work.” She shifted to face him more fully.

“No, Miss Harrison. It won’t do. You are too feminine, too graceful, and that disguise won’t work.”

“You don’t have to tease me so unkindly. If you won’t help, say so, and I shall find another way.” She folded her arms over her breasts.

“Don’t misunderstand me. It’s a good plan, and for any other girl it might work, but not you.” He held up his hands.

“Well, I do have an alternative. We could go as brother and sister. Or…husband and wife?”

A jolt of excitement shot through him unlike any since his boyhood. He paused, behaving as though he were struggling with the choice when he knew that it was the only one.

“We shall go as husband and wife. I could speak with the captain and convince him to bear us along. With the right coin, I’m sure he will agree.”

Like a silly schoolboy, he was eager to take the trip and have time alone with her. Her frown turned into a grin, and she hugged him tightly.

“Thank you, Joshua. Thank you so much.” She pushed the coin pouch into his hands. “Let me know if this isn’t enough to cover the fare, and I shall give you the rest as soon as I can.”

His refusal of her money was on the tip of his tongue, but he realized that if he turned it down, she would not accept it.

His mind turned from the problem at hand to the warm body that pressed against his. The soft supple form that pressed close to him was magnificent. The not inconsiderable breasts, though bound, were still much more generous than the small waist that he slipped his hands around now. The rounded hips and bottom beneath were firm as they brushed his side. Her fingers moved to smooth an errant hair at the nape of his neck, and he closed his eyes, enjoying the tingle of pleasure that began where flesh met his.

“I should go.” He cleared his throat, trying to relieve some unknown blockage. “I have to meet with your uncle, and then I must see the captain of the ship.”

Joshua looked into her eyes, seeing the emotion there and wondered how he would get through the long nights in the same room with her without touching her, without her body beneath his.

“Yes, of course.” She glanced down at the letter grasped in her fingertips.

“And I shall return for you Saturday, midnight. Be prepared.” He turned, leaving her to stare after him, wide eyed.

He had almost agreed that they should pose as brother and sister. This would mean they would have separate rooms, but it would also mean that he wouldn’t be able to provide much protection. That was the most important thing to him, keeping his promise to protect the woman. He didn’t know how he would manage to be alone in that room with her, but he certainly would not be her brother. Husband is what he would be when they left here, though the letter he would leave behind for Howard would mention no such thing.

Chapter Fifteen

The week came and went in a flash. Reena waited in the gardens, small bags shaking in her hands. Would they stay in the same room? In the very same bed? Surely they would have to if they were to pose as husband and wife. The worst part, the unanswered question that troubled her most was an important one: could she protect her virtue from herself?

She reached onto the bench next to her and fiddled with the rock that held her note to Emily safely on the bench. Worry had run through her all week. Fear that she wouldn’t be able to find her self-control and would disgrace herself by attempting to seduce him. What if she tried to kiss him and then couldn’t stop herself? Worse yet, what if she kissed him and he stopped her, or said that he didn’t want her. If she did lay with him, could she be happy as a mistress? Could she face her family?

A coach stopped down the road some ways from her home, and she shook those thoughts from her mind. She shifted the smaller bags to one hand, grabbing the case that held her travel clothes and started for the coach. A male figure jumped from the back and came toward her. When Joshua was close enough to be seen, she smiled at him, enjoying the brilliant, dimpled smile that came back to her. He was a magnificent man. His muscles were clearly visible beneath his deep blue waistcoat as he moved swiftly to take the luggage from her. What would it be like to touch those muscles? What would it be like to explore his body? To find its secrets and to have him find hers. For the moment, however, she basked in the light of his bright eyes, the problems of the world melting away.

“You’re sure about this?” The sparkle faded as he studied her in the moonlight.

She followed the square set of his jaw, her gaze running over his chin, lips, and then beyond to meet his eyes.

“Positive.” Reena pushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

Nodding, he handed her into the coach and jumped in behind her with a catlike ease and grace that enthralled her.

“The captain made exception for us, because I claimed we were newlywed, and your father was suddenly struck ill. I told him that we were not due to return for another month, but we were desperate. He prepared a room for us and didn’t charge much either,” Joshua said, as the coach rumbled down the dusty road toward town.

“All right. How long have we been married?” she asked.

“A month.” Joshua yanked a pouch from his pocket and handed it to her.

“You should keep that—for your help,” she said, but he refused to allow her to return the money to him.

They went over their story while they traveled, and all too soon, were pulling up to the docks. The ship at the end of the dock was being prepared to sail on the morning tide. There were men scrambling about the deck, making sure that everything was ship shape. The sea air filled Reena’s lungs as a sense of adventure filled her heart. Her cheeks hurt from the wide smile that refused to leave her lips when she climbed from the coach and started toward the ship that would take her home. Joshua’s hand settled on the small of her back, and Reena sighed, imagining herself married to him. She fell into the role so easily; it was one that she’d played in her mind many times.

“Captain Cromwell, I’d like you to meet my lovely wife, Mrs. Reena Sinclair.” Joshua turned to Reena as she stepped off the top of the plank and onto the ship. “Captain John Cromwell.”

Her heart raced when her name mingled with his. She glanced away, hiding her certainly pink cheeks.

A short, stout man turned toward them with a scrutinizing stare. Joshua brought her closer to him, his arm resting at her waist now. The captain moved forward. His face reminded Reena of a dog that she’d seen once, his cheeks hung down and wobbled a bit when he spoke.

“Pleasure to meet you.” He bowed low. “I hope you’ll find our humble ship to your liking. She’s only a merchant ship, but we’re mighty proud of her.” He turned to face a tall, thin young man.

“Fish, our second mate,” the captain said by way of introduction. “Fish, get these bags to the Sinclair’s room. Gregory, come meet our guests.”

Fish appeared as though he would likely need help to lift a blanket, but he came forward and took their bags. Reena wanted to offer him her help, but held her tongue and was surprised at the strength the young man hid within his lean frame.

“This is my first mate, Gregory Talbert.” He waved his hand to indicate a tall, handsome man who had been speaking to Fish. His clothes were weather worn, and his long dark hair seemed to dance in the wind. He very much had the appearance of a captain, in total control of everything aboard ship. “He’s a right fine sailor, got saltwater in his blood. With the two of us on board, this ship’s safe as a babe in its mother’s arms.”

“You are indeed safe here, Mrs. Sinclair,” Gregory said with a bow.

Reena got the sense that he was glaring at Joshua, but when he raised his head the impression was gone. She dismissed it, sure that she’d imagined it. The Captain and his mate were almost comically opposite men. In most books, when confronted with a captain and a mate, she imagined the strong young man to be captain, and the older graying man to be the first mate. What a pair these two made.

“Well sirs, if you should guide us to our room, I am sure my wife would appreciate some rest,” Joshua said.

“Just a few rules, and then Gregory can show you to your quarters.” Brow creased, he turned on her. Something barely perceptible in his examination smacked of anger or disappointment. It disturbed her, and she found herself leaning into Joshua.

“First, your husband, Gregory, or I must accompany you at all times unless you are in your cabin. Second, during any times of crisis, like a storm or attack, you are to stay in your room beneath the mattress, and one of us will come to instruct you on what to do. And third, if you have need of anything, send your husband to find me, and it will be taken care of.” Abruptly, the captain turned and strode to the deck, giving orders as he went.

“Shall I show you to your accommodations?” Gregory asked.

He was charming and polite all the way to their room, though most of his comments were directed at Reena. He’d even spoken tenderly of a wife and son. She couldn’t help but be put at ease by his friendly manner. Gregory opened the door that led to the small room, and when he said his good-byes, she smiled warmly and thanked him for his help.

Joshua had been silent throughout their trek, but when the door had closed behind them he finally spoke. “I want you to stay with me. Never leave this room without me, you hear me Miss Ha—Reena?”

Reena turned, gaping at him.

“I don’t want you alone with any man on this crew, and don’t leave this room unless I’m with you. When I leave, I want you to lock the door behind me, and don’t unlock it until I return.”

Her lips parted, but before she could speak, he cut her off.

“Listen.” He moved to her and took her shoulders in his hands. “You’re my responsibility, and I plan to protect you while I’m with you. Now, you promise me, or I shall take you right back to your uncle’s house.”

His jaw set, and steel formed in the confines of his eyes. She’d seen this look from so very many people since she’d received her father’s letter and knew it well.

“All right Joshua. I promise.” She sat on the edge of the bed.

“I don’t want to be a bully; I only want to get you to your father’s house safely.” Joshua sat next to her.