Crushing Desire (11 page)

“Well now, let’s the four of us get back to the carriage, and I intend to have a word before we leave here.” Emily inclined her head back the way they came.

Emily’s strength amazed her. Reena had known that the woman’s scatterbrained personality was an act, but never before had she given so copious a display of her capacity. The woman was always wily and cunning, but now she was courageous and strong too.

When they reached the carriage, Emily turned to them all and gave them a no nonsense glare. “Listen to me and listen well.” She paced with her arms crossed. “What happened here was a terrible thing, there’s no doubt, but I won’t have it spread around. I don’t want people talking about this and embarrassing Reena with their whispers. Are we all in agreement about that?”

Everyone nodded, and Reena’s eyes stung, watering to relieve the burn.

“Now, here’s how I see it. We must say that we were at the river, and you two were talking about poetry or some such. Two men burst from the bushes and said they were going to rob us.” She reached down even as she spoke, picking up handfuls of dirt from the moist ground and rubbing them into her dress face and hair. “We women naturally leaped away and cowered as women tend to do. Then our brave Michael here jumped upon one of the thugs, getting cut in the process.”

She riffled her hands through her hair, mussing it and drawing tendrils about her face and neck. “Jerrold, hearing the screams, came running and facing two brave strong men as they were, the scoundrels ran screaming.” She turned to each one in turn. “That is the story. True enough to remember, different enough to avoid trouble.” Emily ripped some of the lace at the sleeve of her dress.

 
Now it seemed as though she had been in the scuffle alongside them. Emily looked at Jerrold. “You shall adhere to the story, yes?”

Jerrold nodded and turned a pitying glance at Reena who closed her eyes against it.

“You accept this version?” Emily asked Michael.

Michael winced. “I didn’t save the day, though, I don’t deserve the credit.” His hollow, dark rimmed eyes made Reena want to apologize to him.

“You did, though. You fought against the two of them as a true gentleman should. Come now, you were quite brave.” Reena, who had never been able to sit by while others suffered, longed to ease his pain. “You never begged, and you did what you could to convince them to leave us alone, always thinking of me first. I’m grateful to you for it. You were my knight in shining armor.”

“Also, you held them off long enough that we were able to save Reena. Another moment is all that it would have taken for us to have been too late. So you see, it really was you that saved her by standing to fight like a true man with no thought for your own safety,” Emily concluded.

Michael nodded, but his eyes found his boots and stayed on them.

“Reena, this version is all right with you also?”

“Yes, it’s agreed.” Reena dropped her head into her hands, the horror and exhaustion from the night’s event had her muscles threatening to crumple. “Now, let’s be on our way, my uncle will worry if we’re gone too much longer.”

They rode home in silence, Michael’s head still hanging low, and Reena not knowing how to help him.

Less than an hour later, they said goodnight. Reena complained of a headache and rushed off to her room, leaving Emily to explain the harrowing tale. When she entered the safety of her bedchamber, the terror of what had happened hit hard. She dove for her bed, her insides twisting and lurching, and at last, she allowed the deluge of tears to come.

Chapter Eleven

 
It seemed that by the next day their story was all over. Everyone in polite society was abuzz about their heroic rescue, and all of Reena’s friends were requesting to call on her. They wanted first-hand exclusive gossip that they could share, but she turned down the visits. The last few days before her party were already fully scheduled. Dan would come for her today, and a picnic was planned for the evening. The rest of her time would be filled with last minute preparations for the soiree.

Reena had wanted to beg off when Dan came to call. But when he arrived to collect her, he didn’t ask her endless questions or even speak of the incident other than to tell her he would understand if she was under the weather. She was grateful for the first time since the previous night to not be talking or thinking about the attack.

Dan wished to take her to see a cabinet of curiosities. Reena had agreed for one reason and one reason only: to busy her mind. When she sat around, all she could do was picture Michael’s face, or see the grimy man slowly unbuttoning his breeches as he came at her. She saw the wicked blades and heard Michael and herself pleading for their safety.

No matter how Dan tried to lure her into conversation, or to make her laugh during their time together, Reena couldn’t seem to summon a smile.

Finally, by the time he’d returned her home a few hours later, Reena had been too amazed by the ancient objects and too disgusted by two-headed pigs in jars and the like to think about what had happened. For a time at least.

When six o’clock came, they were preparing to leave on their picnic. Her uncle had tried to cancel it, but Reena insisted on going.

“Hello, old boy, how the devil are you?” Uncle Howard exclaimed, and Reena looked up from where her fingers worked at the buttons on her coat to see Joshua standing on the porch.

He held out a bottle of wine, nodding to Howard, Emily, and then her. His eyes remained on her for a moment as he spoke to her uncle. Her mind went to her embarrassing kiss attempt. However, in light of the horror of the previous day, it didn’t seem so terrible anymore.

“A small contribution to what will no doubt be a wonderful evening,” Joshua said as the wine changed hands.

She eyed her uncle speculatively. After weeks of insisting to her that this was a family only outing and no suitors could come, he’d invited a man who was his business partner. It was very unlike her uncle.

Reena frowned. She was always glad to see Joshua, but the expression on Michael’s face before they’d parted last night had lingered with her, popping into her mind off and on throughout the day. She had told Uncle Howard that the fresh air would do her good, but the memory of what had happened and of that horrible look of fear, helplessness, and a terrible soul-sickening sadness on Michael’s face had made her poor company all day long. What if the same thing happened again? Could she stand to see that expression on Joshua’s face? Reena moved her hand into the muff that she held and along the hard edge of Emily’s gun nestled inside. She didn’t want to anger or upset Joshua, because he had always been so wonderful to her, but she would take no chances tonight.

Forcing the corners of her mouth to rise, she glanced from Joshua to her uncle.

“Would you please excuse us for a moment?” She grabbed Emily, ignoring Joshua’s faltering smile and pulled her into the nearby gardens.

“Women, you know,” her uncle said as she left. “Always remembering something at the last moment.”

“Why is Joshua here?” she whispered vehemently.

Emily leaned in, whispering as well. “I know that you didn’t wish to see anyone, but there is said to be safety in numbers. Besides, dear, it
is
Joshua.”

“Joshua is the last person I want to see right now.” Her fingers compulsively clenched at the gun in her muff. The heavy weight of it helped her raw nerves to calm, and she took a long slow breath to clear her mind. “What if he… What if—”

“It will be all right.” Emily squeezed her elbow. “Calm yourself and stop squeezing that pistol. You’ll end our evening far too quick and in an extremely unpleasant way.”

Reena opened her mouth, but Emily held up a hand, silencing her.

“Listen. I know you. I know the true reason why you insisted on going on this late night picnic is because the thought of it terrifies you.”

Reena’s mouth snapped shut. She couldn’t dispute the honest statement.

“You have never been one to let fear rule you, and you can’t avoid Joshua, because you dread what will happen or what he will hear. You will hate yourself for giving in to that fright. Especially if you lose Joshua because of it.”

Unbidden, Michael’s face came to her mind, and she winced. She fought the burning sensation that signaled tears and told herself that what had happened was done and in the past.

“All right.” Her words were no more than a whisper, but she held her head high and started back to where the men awaited their return.

They began to walk in a procession, the four picnickers in a row with a few servants that were appointed to help this evening following behind them. She knew that some had been hired to carry and serve food. Uncle Howard had never been one to serve his own meals even at a picnic, and he had insisted that Reena shouldn’t either. There was also one powerfully built man dressed in black with rich brown skin and dark straight black hair who walked the edges of the shadows that were growing in the evening light. He was burly, and his eyes darted about quickly. He was protection, she supposed.

9

“Well now Joshua, did you hear of our little excitement?” Howard asked, his hands clasped behind his back.

Joshua, who stood between Reena and Emily, reluctantly dragged his gaze from Reena’s downcast eyes and dour expression to Howard’s guarded one.

“What excitement?”

He ground is teeth as he considered the possibilities, fear twisting in his gut like a knife. Had Reena accepted a suit? Was she returning home to America? Would she leave him, never to smile at him again?

He realized with quite a bit of a shock that it would in fact hurt if she did. He couldn’t expect her to be around forever, to spend her life alone, visiting with him when he came to the manor. She was young still and didn’t deserve to be a spinster. She merited a loving man that would take her home to the people she loved most in the world and had missed during her sojourn in England. She ought to have those things and warranted them as much as she did an influential title and hoards of wealth. Perhaps he should have courted her. How would another man know what she truly needed?

After Joshua’s line of thinking, Howard’s words were even more of a surprise.

“Our dear Reena and poor Ms. Benton were nearly assaulted by ruffians.” Howard looked at them while he spoke.

Joshua rocked back as though he’d been hit in the chest with a boulder. “What?”

Reena frowned, and her expression seemed to darken further when Howard told him what Joshua suspected was a modified version of what had really happened. It was obvious that something more had taken place, because Reena’s cheeks flushed scarlet, and her eyes fixed on her shoes as she walked. She was hiding something, and Joshua hoped that what she was concealing wasn’t too terrible. Howard, it seemed, suspected the same thing, because he glanced at Reena often during the telling of the story.

For a while after the telling was complete, no one spoke, not even Emily, which was truly unusual. In fact, Emily hadn’t spoken at all this evening, which was very suspect, indeed.

“Well I certainly hope that you’re all right.” Joshua put his fingers on Reena’s elbow for strength, though for himself or for her, he did not know.

“I’m fine.” Reena gave him a weak smile that melted his heart.

They made idle chit chat as they walked, but Joshua’s mind never left Reena. He decided that he would clear her conscience. The lie was eating her alive, and he intended to find out the truth. She would feel much better when she told the whole story—to someone anyhow.

When they arrived at their picnic spot, a large fallow field that was covered with bright green grass, they sat and watched the sun setting while the servants prepared the area by lighting lanterns and setting out the meal. The sky demonstrated beauty with oranges, reds, and purples mingling with the gray clouds that were spread throughout. For a while at least, she seemed to be occupied with something other than her thoughts. Joshua studied her as she surveyed the changing colors with wide eyed wonder until the horizon faded, and the pale moon rose high in the darkened sky.

“That was so beautiful. It makes me wish that I had the talent to express it.” Her words were soft. “But even if I were the greatest writer in the wide world my pen would surely lack words beautiful enough to express the amazing magnificence of that sunset.”

Reena always astonished him. Her enjoyment of the simple things was wonderful. She viewed things like flowers and sunsets in the same way that one viewed priceless art: with awe, reverence, and a distinct pleasure that only true appreciation could bring. To Joshua, she was the work of art.

“Yes, stunning.” He let her believe that he meant the sunset.

Looking her over as he seemed to do of late with ever-increasing frequency, he forced himself to admit that she was not a child anymore. He’d always found it difficult to keep a distance from her unless he reminded himself that she was a girl and forced himself to see her that way. He was no longer able to do so. Her slightly rounded face still held a hint of childishness, and when she smiled in innocent delight, the whole room seemed to smile along with her. Aside from that, everything about her, the way she moved, the way she spoke, the sound of her laughter, all of it screamed of her womanhood. She had no idea what she did to a man—to him.