Crushing Desire (19 page)

“You just lie there quietly and get some rest,” she said, a scowl still covering her face, but joy hid beneath it.

Reena helped him scoot up on the bed and cooled his forehead until he slept. The peace that came over his features made Reena sigh. She watched him sleep, remembering the fight and her fear when he’d leaped at the bigger man. She’d been so afraid, and now that it was over, all she wanted to do was hold him. Lying on the bed next to him, she rested her head gingerly on his chest. Soon she slept as well.

9

Joshua awoke to find Reena wrapped snug in his embrace. He held her to him for a moment, not wanting to release her and inhaled deeply in her hair, relishing the sweet scent of her golden tresses. She snuggled at bit closer, and his body hardened despite the pain in his muscles. So soft and supple, her breasts rubbed against his arm as her chest moved in response to her even breathing. Wracked with need, he closed his eyes, fighting the desire. In only a few short seconds, he could be inside her. He knew she wanted him. The yearning in her eyes screamed out to him, telling him that her need was as great.

He reprimanded himself and moved to dislodge their tangled limbs before she made another move and found herself waking on her back. He stood, surveying her body while she slept snuggled against his pillow. Driving the longing from his body and mind, he left the room.

“You have much to do today.” Captain Cromwell sneered at Joshua as he grabbed up enough food to feed them and left. “Don’t be long in returning.”

The men had not been told about what had happened, and no one but the captain knew why Gregory was in the hold. Because of this, some of the crew glowered at him with the same ire as the captain. Others, having heard about his fight with the immense first mate, were seeing him differently. They met his eyes and nodded approval while others gawked at him in awe.

When Joshua got back to the room, Reena was awake. The guilty expression on her face made him grin, not that he could complain about waking wrapped in her arms. He quickly wiped the smile away and set the food on the table.

“Food, my lady,” he said, proper as a butler.

He sat and pulled a piece of chicken from the bone.

“Thank you, Joshua.” Her expression turned serious. “For everything.”

Joshua watched her for a moment. Her disheveled clothes and hair painted such an erotic image that he fought the urge to carry her to the bed and do anything but sleep. Her bottom lip stuck out ever so slightly, creating a pout that would have driven him wild if not for her eyes. Her eyes were wide and wet, and the honesty in them cooled his ardor in a hurry.

He locked his gaze with hers. “Any time you need me, I shall be there for you.” He inclined his head. “Anytime and for anything.” They stared at each other for a long moment, each drinking the other in. “That is how I wound up on this ship after all.” He extended a hand in her direction. “You came to me and said: ‘Excuse me, but could I trick you into sailing to America where you know no one and then leave you in a gutter with nowhere to go’?”

She laughed.

“You’ve discovered my plan.” Reena put a hand to her chin as if in contemplation “Well, I’ll just have to come up with a new one.” She opened her eyes wide, putting up one finger. “I know! I’ll sell you into a press gang. After all, I know you can sail.”

He laughed, then held his hands up in surrender. “Leave me in the gutter before that, please.”

“Oh, I’ve heard they’re quite lovely really. The beatings are kept to once a week if you behave, and you get a piece of bread with no mold every third Sunday. It’s paradise.”

This moment with Reena was paradise. All the paradise he would ever need.

Chapter Nineteen

Things had settled into a new routine. It had been almost a week since the first mate had been locked into the hold, and Reena had stayed in the tiny cabin the whole time. The few moments that she’d spent on the deck and dining with the crew were now spent in the room. She ate her meals with Joshua, and played chess and talked in the evenings. She would kill for a stroll on deck in the fresh air, but still, she enjoyed having time alone with him.

A double knock came at the door. The agreed upon signal that told her it was Joshua. Reena dropped her book, rose from the chair, and crossed to the door. She opened the door, and Joshua entered, his face a healthy bronze from hours spent in the sun.

“How was the sunset this evening?” The question had become a habit of late.

“All fire. Golden fire like your hair in the sunlight.”

She lowered her lashes, eyeing him from beneath their cover.

“Well,” he said, surveying her bed gown, “it’s late, and I should let you rest.”

 
Reena climbed into bed and turned away. The rustling of his clothes and the splashing of water in the basin enticed her to give in to an urge that had existed from their first night aboard ship. She eased back over and peeked. Joshua’s back was to her, and she watched as he lifted his shirt over his head. The muscles in his back flexed and jumped as he tossed the shirt aside. His broad shoulders seemed so strong, and Reena itched to run her hands over them. Grasping a washcloth, he cleaned his chest and neck. Water ran in rivulets over his muscular back. The cloth splashed back into the basin, and she followed the line of his spine down his muscular back. He slid his breeches down, and Reena marveled at the firm roundness of his nude buttocks. His body gave the impression of being so hard and yet so soft at the same time. His legs were covered in a sparse mat of hair, and the muscles looked so powerful that he might be able to run hours before tiring.

He turned and reached for his nightshirt, giving her the first glimpse of his manhood. Reena held back a gasp. All thought fled from her as it rose and thickened. Her breathing turned ragged, and her body feverish. This part of him truly was powerful. She hadn’t even realized that he’d turned to face her completely until he dropped his nightshirt absently to the ground.

Reena glanced up, meeting his eyes. He held her in a trance, he as breathless and feverish as she. A thunderstorm of electricity flew between them. Her gaze moved slowly down his neck to his chest. Her eyes, her mind, and her body, all sang the praises of his form. He was magnificent. A long scar ran across his abdomen, but it did not detract from his magnetism. He moved toward her like an animal stalking its prey, but the words to stop him were forgotten and unwanted.

He drew the cover from the bed, his gaze roaming her thinly clad body as hers had done only moments before. His eyes were a storm of intensity. He moved onto the bed next to her. The sensation of his body so near to hers, the heat of him unhindered by layers of clothing, was an aphrodisiac. She trembled as he knelt on the bed, and then his mouth was on hers.

His kiss was raw, animal, passionate, and Reena wanted it to go on forever. Her body burned for his touch, her mouth rejoiced in the pleasure. No coherent thought existed, only heat, passion, and animal need.

His hands grasped her arms, and he tugged her to him, pressing the heat of him against her. In the eye of the storm an ache built deep within her, a mysterious need in its core. She moaned, and curved her arms around his neck, exploring the muscles there. Her thin gown felt like nothing. All she knew was his skin next to hers, his mouth on hers. Reena was awash in passion. Joshua moved from her mouth, tracing the lightning sensations with his kisses down her neck. He lifted her gown. Every spot his hands caressed sent electric waves of pleasure shooting through her. When he pulled the gown from her head, Reena could sense there was something she was supposed to do or say, but the storm raged within her, stealing her thoughts. She was saturated with need for him. Drowning in it.

Joshua held himself immobile, staring down at her body. He studied her from breasts to waist, and then on to the small patch of hair at the crux of her thighs. “Amazing.”

The strength of his desire wrapped in that one word sent a shock wave through Reena, making her heart pound. His palm slid over her breast. She moaned as his fingers brushed her nipples.

Her body pulsed with desire, and she writhed beneath him. He brought his mouth to her breast, kissing and caressing one swollen peak and then the other. Her body was so sensitive to his touch that Reena thought she might die. So when he ran the stubble of his day old beard over her nipple, she cried out, arched her back, and held his head to her breast.

Her body flooded with sensation and her hands roamed down to the hardness of his muscular back. His hands and mouth moved over her. His fingertips explored her stomach, and the flesh rippled in excitement and expectation. When his hand moved between her thighs to explore her womanhood, she cried out in ecstasy. His fingers slid in and out, up and down, pressing and rubbing, driving her wild. The storm building inside her threatened to break and just as she was about to give in, his fingers were gone.

A whimper came from deep inside her.

“Yes, love, I know.” He parted her legs wide, and moved between them, placing himself at her entrance.

She held her breath as he thrust forward, tearing through the barrier of her virginity, and burying his shaft deep inside her. The small flash of pain did nothing to dull the storm that raged inside. His hard manhood filled her, stretching her to the limits. Reena moaned, wiggling her hips at the strange sensation. Her movements sent another jolt of pleasure through her, and she lifted herself to him.

“No.” Joshua lifted his body taut above hers. “No, I…”

She followed his eyes and saw the blood that his entry had wrung from her. Yes, he’d taken her virginity. The deed was done, and she didn’t care. The storm inside her wouldn’t still, she knew, until he continued.

“It’s all right love,” she said tenderly, her hands on his cheeks. “I want this too. Come to me.”

She shifted her hips at the peculiar sensation of fullness. With a groan, Joshua began to move inside her. His hands slipped under her shoulder blades, and he hugged her to him. His body fit hers so perfectly. The unbearable shocks of pleasure made her quiver, and the pressure of him inside her seemed so right. Why had they ever been apart? They seemed to have been made to fit each other. Reena bit his shoulder to stifle her cries and held him as close as he held her. They came together faster and faster until the storm came to a crashing climax, washing them into the ecstasy at its core.

Reena lay held in Joshua’s embrace, his body still one with hers. Her mind had yet to process what had happened, but as the ardor cooled, Joshua’s mind apparently had. He jumped from the bed, his nude body gleaming with sweat. Running a hand through his hair, he stole a glance toward the bed. Reena yanked the covers up, hiding her nakedness. He pressed his lips together, his dimples making a brief appearance.

Oh God.
Reena’s mind whirled
. Did he regret what had happened?

Joshua grabbed his breeches from the floor and lifted one leg to shove into them, not looking at her. Reena’s heart welled in her throat, and her eyes stung with unshed tears. Not for the act that they had shared. She would cherish that forever, though his obvious guilt would make this memory as bitter sweet as that of their first kiss.

“I’m sorry, Joshua,” she whispered.

His breeches dropped to the floor. He hung his head, and then braced his hands on the table, his face studying its surface.

Tears surfaced in Reena’s eyes, partly because she had considered marrying another, but mostly, because she’d hurt the man that she loved by giving him the thing that she treasured most.

“It was my fault. We can forget it happened if you like. Pretend everything is the same,” she added.

His head swung in her direction, eyes wide. “Forget? How could we forget? I took your virginity, Reena. I’ve ruined you.” He moved to the bed, sat next to her, and took her hand. “I thought you weren’t a virgin any longer. You told me that you and Michael—then Martin said—well I thought that you...”

Reena gazed into those bright blue eyes. “You thought that Michael had...” She shook her head and laughed softly. “A few kisses were all that ever existed between us. All that ever could have.” Pulling the sheet hard against her bosom, she squared her shoulders. “As for forgetting”—a lump formed in her throat—”if you want to pretend that nothing has happened, I can manage it. If it would make you happy?”

His eyebrows furrowed, and he cupped her face in his hands.

“And why would I want to forget? I find you to be very desirable, and I enjoyed showing you the ways of love. Did you not enjoy it too? Do you wish to forget?”

She studied the blanket, picking imaginary lint off the covers to hide the wetness of her eyes.

“It was the most amazing experience of my life,” she whispered. “And I certainly don’t wish to forget, but I know that you didn’t mean for this to happen.” She gazed up at him, letting the tears in her eyes show the pain that she had always tried to hide. “Joshua, I’m not beautiful or fashionable. I know I’m not Juliet.”

He eyed her, eyebrows raised.

“I’m too tall. I tower over most men.”

“You’re a head shorter than I,” he replied.

“I’m not a proper, pale flower like most girls. While they embroider and study music, I read and study sunsets.”

“I shouldn’t have you any other way. Those other women are dull.”