Conflicted (3 page)

“Relax, big boy. You’re going to love it,” Kelsey said seductively.

“Have you done this before?” I managed to get out.

“You’re our cherry
popper,” she teased, running her tongue up my neck.

The last thought that I had before taking the rest of my clothes off was, what the hell am I getting myself into?

I sat naked on the bed and felt the cold, crisp sheets against my ass. Leaning back on my elbows, I closed my eyes as she took me in her mouth. As she ran her hot, wet, velvet tongue up my length, I was pretty sure I was in
Heaven. Bobbing up and down, she started swirling her tongue, grazing her teeth and kneading my balls. Yup, it was Heaven on Earth.

Grabbing a handful of her blonde hair, I pulled her down further. After a minute, she smacked my hand away and pushed me back on the bed. I relaxed and let her take control again since she knew what she was doing. After another couple minutes, I needed to do something with my hands
so I reached to grab her hair again, only to realize it was Tyler blowing me. I looked to see Kelsey on the floor with his cock in her mouth. He was sizable and almost gave my “lady-killer” a run for its money. I instantly started to tense, but then I decided I was up for anything that felt this incredible. It was just another experience to write off. I’d try just about anything once.

Taking a box of condoms from the nightstand, Kelsey handed us each one and told us to
suit up. I was feeling much more sober and aware; frankly, I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to go through with it. It was much easier when I was looking at everything through beer goggles. She bent over and Tyler stepped behind her, sliding into her perfect, soaking wet pussy. When he pulled out, he was glazed in her juices, making my already hard cock painfully ready for release and I hadn’t even had my turn yet.

As I stood there stroking myself, Tyler reached next to him and grabbed a bottle of lube that must have magically appeared, or I was
really oblivious. It was most likely the latter. Popping the cap, he squeezed some of the clear liquid at the base of his spine causing it to slowly run down the crack of his ass. Reaching around, he stuck a finger inside, slowly working his way in and out. I couldn’t help but notice that he looked mildly uncomfortable.

“Fuck his ass, Derek. Then we’ll switch
and you’ll see how it feels to be full,” Kelsey cried out.

I’d done anal before, plenty of it, just not with a dude… I guess it
couldn’t be that much different. Right?

Taking in a deep breath, I lined the thick head of my cock up with his tight hole. I let a little spit drip before nudging my way forward, breaking the barrier. Fucking-A, it was spectacular. Or maybe I was
imagining the whole thing and I’d wake up sprawled out in the middle of the desert somewhere.

I slowly worked my way in and out before picking up to match his pace. I was going to blow. Tyler’s hand reached out and started caressing my heavy sack
, making me explode.

It was beyond intense. Gratifying. Then the panic set in.

Fucking-A, maybe I’m gay! Hey, that rhymed.

“We’re going to switch it up now. Derek, you’re going to fuck me hard
and Tyler’s going to claim your ass.”

Seeing her sprawled out on the bed, I was rock hard and ready for round two when she handed us each another condom. I rolled mine on and moved her on her back so I could suck on her beautiful tits. Lowering my head, I took her perfect, rosy pink nipple in my mouth and swirled my tongue around it, making her let out a loud moan. After releasing it with a pop, I stroked myself a couple times before lining myself up with her entrance.

Slipping into her hot pussy, I hit her magic spot, making her nails dig into my shoulder blades.

“Fuck!” She moaned. “Fuck me harder, Derek. Pound my pussy
.”

Picking up my pace, I delved deep inside her, loving the way her mouth formed into a perfect O shape. Her pussy enveloped my cock like a glove. Her nails were digging into my biceps, causing a perfect mix of pain and pleasure. We were
really getting into a groove when I unexpectedly felt the warm lube slide down to no man’s land. Tyler stood behind me and cupped my ass with his hands, causing me to flinch. The tip of his length nudged forward slightly, causing me to have an internal mental freak out.

Fuck, I was
actually going to do this! Did I want this?

Before I had any more time to think, he pressed forward. I pushed the pain away, which was almost immediately replaced with pure pleasure. Me fucking Kelsey’s beautiful pussy and Tyler fucking my ass. It was like nothing I’d ever felt before.

Yup, I was in deep shit…

I spent the days that followed struggling to make sense of what happened that night. I wondered if I swung both ways, or maybe I
actually was gay? It was too much to deal with, and I still didn’t know how to handle it. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it, either. There was too much fear of anyone passing judgment when I wasn’t sure what was going on myself. I spent the rest of the tour sleeping as many groupies as I could get my hands on, sometimes taking two at a time, and in Jacksonville, I took three.

Damn, now I was horny as fuck thinking about it.

I couldn’t coax myself to sleep and spent most of the night staring up at the ceiling. Again, I was so fucking confused and mentally exhausted. After counting so many sheep I ran out, I decided to go watch some porn and tire myself out.

CHAPTER THREE

REMEDY

JOSS

Finally
, after spending a couple more hours at the hospital, Piper finally convinced Blake to go home and get some rest. I was grateful since watching all of them in pure bliss was starting to grate on my nerves. Not that I wasn’t happy for them; I was, but it’s just better to take it in small doses. The ride home with Blake was quiet, which was pretty much the usual. When we pulled into the driveway, I was relieved that I would finally have some space and peace and quiet to gather my thoughts.

Standing by
my side, Blake unlocked the door and went back to the car to grab the rest of my suitcases, leaving me in the entranceway. The entrance was painted a deep red with all white accents; there was a white side table with a massive Gothic looking mirror hanging above it. Toward the back of the house were the kitchen and the dining room. The dining room was a grayish white, with the exception of one black accent wall. The table was an oversized black oval with eight black leather chairs. The walls were adorned in Piper’s sketches and paintings that fit perfectly with the overall feel of the room. She had more artistic talent in her pinkie than I had in my entire body.

Just as I was getting ready to finish looking around, Blake came to show me my room. I had to hand it to her - Piper had done a
fantastic job with the house. It wasn’t really my taste, but it was homey enough. Her taste was just much more eclectic than mine.

Blake
led me up the opulent staircase. I followed him to the second room on the left where he opened the door. It was a decent size room painted a burnt orange with dark wood furniture and cream-colored linens. There was a large bay window on the far wall that overlooked the sprawling backyard. After unpacking my necessities, I decided to grab a shower and get ready for bed myself since I was exhausted and travelling always made me feel grimy.

Stepping into the glass
-enclosed shower, I turned the water on, letting the heat relax my muscles. Filling my loofah with exfoliating body scrub, I worked it around my whole body three times before I was satisfied that I was clean enough. I wrapped myself in an oversized towel and went through my bedtime routine before getting in my pajamas and calling it a night.

I was brushing my hair at the antique vanity when Blake came to stand in the doorway.

“How are you doing since you left treatment?” His tone was serious.

“Good. I told you it wasn’t
really that big of an issue. And as usual, you like to blow things out of epic proportion,” I grumbled.

Crossing his arms, he looked at me intently. “I’m just looking out for you. You’ll see one day that I did what was in your best interest.”
I let out an exasperated breath and watched as my bangs blew up in the air before coming back in front of my eyes. “I’ll see you in the morning. Piper and Waverly are coming home tomorrow. I talked to Mom; her and Dad should be here around dinnertime. I’ll need your help, please.”

Ha, I knew there was no way in hell my mom was going to be able to wait an entire week.

“Anything you need. Have a good sleep, Blake. I’m really happy for you, by the way.”

“Thanks, sis. I’ll see you in the morning.
Sweet dreams,” he said, closing the door behind him.

Climbing into bed, my mind drifted to Derek. I wondered what his deal was. Why was his world so fucked up at the moment? I knew that there was a slight, okay a
minuscule, possibility that Blake might be okay with us dating, but it would majorly suck for both of us if it ended badly. That still didn’t explain things enough for me, though. Being the inquisitive girl I was, I wanted answers and I wanted them now.

Climbing out of bed, I tiptoed my way down to the kitchen
, hoping the floor didn’t creak. Picking up Blake’s phone from the charger, I scrolled through his contacts until I found Derek’s number. I quickly programmed it into my phone and locked Blake’s screen again.

Scrolling through my phone, I quickly wrote a new text message and hit send.

Me: Why is your world so fucked up?

Derek: Who’s this?

Me: Joss.

Derek: It’s almost 1 in the morning. How the hell did you get my #?

Me: I have my resources. Now answer my question.

Derek: My life is one
gigantic cluster fuck of fuck ups. Happy now?

Me: No. Not really. I know there’s something else going on. Maybe you’d feel better if you talked about it with someone un-biased.

Derek: Thanks, but no thanks.

Me: Fine, but I’ll get it out of you sooner or later.

Derek: Why do you care so much? You don’t even know me anymore.

Me: But I want to…

He didn’t text me back after that. I couldn’t help but feel even more intrigued. It was in my nature to be the asker of a million questions. I blame it on inheriting my mom’s type A personality. I placed my phone on the end table and closed my eyes, begging for sleep.

The next morning
, I woke up to Blake knocking loudly on the doorframe. I already knew that, whatever time it was, it was too way early. It didn’t help that I’d already had a hard time falling asleep last night.

“I’m leaving to go pick up Piper and Waverly from the hospital. We should be right back as long as everything checks out. Mom and Dad should be here in a little while. They’re renting a car
, so we don’t have to worry about airport duty. I think we’re going to have a small dinner get-together to celebrate later, too. I’ll need your help to prepare for the madness.” He shook his head, obviously finding it amusing.

“Sounds good,” I said, sitting up and stretching my arms above my head.

As much as I wanted to go back to sleep, I decided to get up and see what needed doing around the house, to try and help out. I tossed in a load of laundry, did the few dishes in the sink, and ran the vacuum.

When Blake arrived back with Piper and Waverly, chaos ensued. It was almost comical watching them be Nervous Nell
ies about every little thing. Poor Waverly was going to be in for it. I thought Blake was overprotective of me, but it was going to be a million times worse for her. He was going to chase away any boy that even looked her way. She’d be his payback for all the girls he’d corrupted over the years. It was going to be hilarious to watch.

Heading into the kitchen, I opened the fridge
but there wasn’t anything I could turn into an edible dinner. Opening my laptop, I researched local catering companies. I found one that would be able to have everything ready in time. Using my credit card that Blake gave me for emergencies, I ordered us a large assortment of food. I started to feel bad, but I never used it for anything and was a broke college student with a whopping nineteen cents in my checking account. What can I say? I’m a spender, not a saver.

Around four, everyone started showing up for the welcome home party. Aubrey and Jake showed up first with Ella in a baby carrier. Jameson and Violet burst through the front door like they owned the place and headed straight over to the toy box in the family room. I hadn’t seen them in person yet, but was able to follow their milestones on Aubrey and Jake’s Facebook pages. They were both little mini-me’s and absolutely freaking adorable. No wonder
Aubrey and Jake keep wanting to make babies. Well, personally, I think any woman in her right mind would want to make babies with Jake Parker. The man was a rock god and the bedroom stories I used to overhear were enough to want to make the bed rock for sure.

Piper looked relieved as soon as she saw Aubrey, and she started launching into a slew of questions before Aubrey was even fully in the door. Jake handed Blake a cigar and a six-pack, congratulating him on a job well done.
For real?
What did he do other than knock Piper up?
She’s the one who had to carry Waverly around and pop her out when the time came. That hardly calls for a bromance congratulatory affair. Stupid boys…

Aubrey’s parents, Caroline and Tim, showed up along with whom I assumed was Granny Jean.

“Who’s the floozy?” She looked at me. 

“Granny!” Aubrey scolded. “That’s Blake’s sister, Joss, and she’s not a floozy.”

“Could have fooled me.” She shrugged. “Where’s the new little bastards?”

If they say looks can be deceiving, then Granny Jean was the epitome of that statement. She was short and slender with a white puff of hair. Her face wasn’t overly wrinkled
and she had on clothes that a much younger woman would wear. If it weren’t for the full head of white hair, she could easily pass for being in her late fifties.

Piper and Blake walked back into the room with a freshly changed Waverly and proudly showed her off to Granny Jean. Caroline was busy futzing around with Ella
, and Tim was playing with Violet and Jameson.

“I think she looks like the milkman’s baby, or maybe the UPS guy.
You know - what’s his name? Jimmy. Yeah, Jimmy,” Granny Jean teased. There was no denying even at birth that Waverly was undeniably a Potter.

My
mom and dad showed up a little while later. As soon as they walked in the door, she burst into happy tears and ran into the kitchen to wash her hands. Before they were even completely dry, she had Waverly in her arms, beaming proudly. Even my dad surprised me by looking so awestruck. I felt like a complete outsider. Normally I wouldn’t mind being the odd man out, but today it was wearing on me. I didn’t want this. I definitely wasn’t ready for it, but seeing them all so in love made me jealous.

Blake broke out the camera and walked around taking pictures. Derek was the last to show up, which didn’t surprise me. He looked as out of place as I felt.
I mean, sure I was happy for all of them, but I didn’t feel like I belonged here. Looking like he hadn’t slept in days, he offered me a weak smile. It was pulling at my heartstrings seeing him looking so miserable. I was really hoping to get him alone before the night was over and maybe getting him to open up to me. It wasn’t going to be easy, but it wasn’t completely impossible.

Whatever he was harboring
, he needed to talk about it.

When the caterers arrived, they immediately started carting in trays of food. Jake
acted like a hunter after prey as soon as he got a whiff of food in the house. Blake wasn’t much better, but Derek hung out in the shadows. I directed the caterers into the dining room to set up so it would be easy for everyone to get what they wanted and move back to the living room or wherever they were eating. As soon as they uncovered the trays, I realized that I was starving too. There was filet mignon, roasted red potatoes, asparagus, and dinner rolls. I made sure to order my favorite, chocolate crème brûlée, for dessert.

My mom insisted on holding Waverly so Piper could eat and keep her energy up.
Everyone made a line and fixed their plates, scattering throughout the expansive downstairs. Derek sat alone at the kitchen table, so after I fixed my plate, that was the obvious place for me to sit. Slowly making my way over, I pulled the chair out and put my napkin in my lap. Derek nodded when I sat down, instead of saying hello. 

Taking a sip of my Diet Coke, I returned the gesture. I couldn’t stop checking him out
and it was going to get my ass busted. I really wanted to talk to him, but I couldn’t stop gawking. Even tired and disheveled, he looked sexy as fuck.

He
kicked my foot under the table and I quickly glanced away, but it was already too late. Blake had noticed me eye fucking Derek.
Shit, shit, shit!

“Can I have a word with the two of you?” Blake asked, sounding annoyed. I stood and followed him into his office off the kitchen. Derek came in
and stood a safe distance away.

“What the fuck is going on between the two of you? Did something happen that I need to know about?”

“Nothing happened. I swear,” Derek said, holding his hands up defensively.

“What if it did? I’m twenty, Blake. Quit treating me like a fucking child! I’m not your kid anyway!” I spat.

He flinched. “Joss, it’s my job to look out for you.”

“No, that’s
Mom and Dad’s job, but even their input doesn’t matter anymore. I’m old enough to live on my own. I can make my own decisions. If I want to spend time with Derek, I will.”

All the color drained from Derek’s face and I felt guilty for just
spitting all that out, but Blake deserved it. His face, on the other hand, was bright red and his neck muscles were bulging.

“Stop acting like a bitch, Joss. It doesn’t suit you,” he yelled.

Taking a step closer, I moved until we were chest to chest and looked up at his pissed off face. “Just stating the facts, big brother,” I spat back.

Poor Derek looked like he wanted to go hide in the closet.
I kept Blake locked in my stare, refusing to back down.

“I’m not picking up the pieces afterwards. Don’t come crying to me when you have a broken heart.” Blake turned to look at Derek. “And you, don’t be dragging any drama into the fucking band. I mean it.” He threw his hands up in defeat and stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind him
. The glass frame on the wall fell and smashed onto the floor.