Conflicted (4 page)

“Thanks a lot for that, Joss,” Derek grumbled.

“Whatever. He deserved it and you know it. He wants to lock me up in a tower and throw away the key. I’m tougher than I look, and the sooner he realizes it, the better. I don’t even want to stay here anymore.”

“Where are you going to go, Joss? You came here to spend time with
your brother and his family and that’s where you need to be right now.”

“Can I stay with you?” I asked.

“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea right now, Joss.”

“Come on. It’s going to fucking suck staying here
and you know it. My parents are here, and they’re going to be going gaga over the baby. Blake and Piper are going to have their hands full, leaving me odd man out. I know you know how that feels since you’re the odd man out in the band now too.”

“I’m not going to fuck you, Joss,” he stated firmly.

Blowing out a deep breath, I tried to keep my cool. “Who said I was going to ask you to?” I hissed.

He seemed to be hesitating, so before he could answer me, I went upstairs and packed up all my stuff and brought it down to the entryway.

Walking into the kitchen, I grabbed us two servings of dessert before going into the living room to face the music.

“I’m going to stay with Derek tonight,” I announced, doing my best to keep my voice steady.

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?” Blake said. He started to stand up when Piper put her hand on his forearm holding him down.

Piper gave me a sympathetic look. “Let her go. You need to reel it in, Blake. She’s perfectly capable of taking care of herself. She’s never going to learn if you’re always there telling her what to do and how to do it.”

Granny came back from the bathroom and saw what was playing out. “What’s going on here? Are you two planning on going to knock boots or something? Is that why Mr. Blake has his knickers in a twist?”

“Granny!” Aubrey shouted. “Is it really necessary for you to say everything that pops into your head?”

“Oh honey, if I said everything that popped into my head, you’d all be in deep shit. I’m just, what do you kids call it? Oh that’s right, I’m keeping it real.”

Aubrey stifled a laugh and shook her head.
Blake looked like he was about to burst a blood vessel. Our mom sat on the other side of him looking torn. She was the one who was trying to help me achieve independence, while the men in my life wanted to put a chastity belt on me and lock me away from the world.

“Have a good time, honey
,” she said softly. “Derek, take care of her.”

My dad sat there with a stoic expression, looking like he might crack if he moved a muscle.
His jaw was clenched shut, his fists clenched so tightly the knuckles were turning white. I decided now was the time to make a break for it.

“If everyone is done putting their two
cents in, we’ll be on our way. I’ll be back tomorrow at some point to visit. Love you!”

Turning on my wedge heel, I grabbed Derek’s arm and headed out the door.

After shoving my suitcases in his trunk for the second time, we were on our way. He wouldn’t talk to me during the entire ride, which I expected. Frankly, I’m surprised he even let me in the car, not that I gave him the option of saying no.

CHAPTER FOUR

SINKING IN QUICK SAND

Pulling up to the monstrous house, Derek drove around the side to the miniature version of Jake and Aubrey’s and turned the car off. I could sense he was uncomfortable, so I decided that, since it was just the two of us, I would back off a little. I thanked him for letting me come back with him.

He showed me to my room, which coincidently used to be Blake’s. I unpacked and took a
nice long shower. After dressing in a pair of baggy flannel pajama pants and a white tank-top, I made my way down to the kitchen to eat my dessert. Derek was sitting on the couch playing Xbox and looking like an overgrown teenaged boy. Grabbing two spoons from the drawer, I took a seat next to him, balancing a dessert on his knee.

He looked over at me with a small smile playing on his lips
and I hoped I was forgiven. Leaning back, I put my feet on his lap, taking small bites of my chocolate confectionary masterpiece. It was rich deliciousness that melted in my mouth. I spent the next couple hours watching him play his game in total distraction. I could sense that he was obviously still feeling uncomfortable. I almost felt a little guilty for forcing myself on him, but it was the only alternative.

Letting out a deep sigh of frustration, I placed the now empty dish on the table.
Derek paused his game and looked at me; there was an emotion in his eyes that I couldn’t quite place just yet. My heart was beating a fierce rhythm behind my ribcage in anticipation.

“So,” he started to say, placing the controller down
, covering his package. “How’s everything been? How’s school?”

We’d
known each other for the better part of our lives, yet neither of us knew what to say to break the uncomfortable silence between us. It made me sad that we’d grown so far apart.

“School
’s good. Phoenix is the same, hot and dry. It’s changed a bit since the last time you were there. Did Blake tell you I was interning at a design firm last semester? I liked it, but I’m not sure that’s what I want to do with my life. I don’t know why they expect us to know exactly what we want to do right out of high school. Don’t tell Blake I said that, though; he’s already helped foot the bill for college quite a bit. I plan on finishing up my last year before going out into the real world to see what I want to do with my life.” I hated that I had a tendency to ramble on when I felt uncomfortable.

“You know me better than that. I’d never say anything. Come on, how much shit do you know about me that no one else does? I know what you mean
, though. I get worried sometimes about the whole music thing. We’re at the point now where we have a decent following and can afford to pay our bills, but at the same time, it’s not something that you can do forever. I don’t know what I would fall back on when that happens. I’m not passionate about anything else like I am with music.” The pain in his statement was evident. It’s almost like being a sculptor and not being able to use your hands.

“It will all work out one way or another. I have faith. You guys started at rock bottom and worked yourself up to the top all on your own. That’s something to be proud of, Derek. After everything you guys have been through in the past ten years
, you’re still friends, and you’re still making music. How many kids have come up to you and told you that one of your songs changed their life? Think about that when you start to doubt yourself.”

“I guess I never really put it into that perspective.”

“I don’t know why we let things go the way they did, but can we at least try and be friends again? I know you’re going through something and I know you’ll let me in on it eventually. Or I can always just snoop and find out,” I said, winking at him.

“It’s complicated, Joss. I’m just
majorly conflicted at the moment. I’ll figure it out, but I’m just not ready to talk about it yet.”

“Okay,” I said. “I’m going to head up to bed. See you in the morning. And hey, thanks for letting me stay.”

“Did I really have a say in it?” He laughed and I shook my head no. “I didn’t think so.” He leaned over and kissed the top of my head before turning his attention back to his game.

Climbing into bed, it felt cold and lonely. After repeatedly fluffing the pillows, I spent the night trying to coax my body to sleep. Even though I was beyond exhausted, my body didn’t want to listen to me. Making my way back downstairs, I turned the TV on. I was trying to figure out the stupid remote when I
accidentally switched it to the DVD setting. Not to my surprise, porn was playing on the screen. My surprise, however, came after about thirty seconds when I saw that it wasn’t regular vanilla porn. There was a guy banging a girl and another guy banging him in the ass. 

My body’s response shocked me. I was getting turned on.
Really
turned on. I had a momentary mental freak-out as I watched my first threesome play out on the big screen. There was a fluent motion in the way they moved. It was sensual, arousing. My mind momentarily drifted to why Derek was watching this. Maybe that was what his issue was. He liked threesomes. Could I be okay with something like this in real life? Just then, they switched their position so that they were both taking the girl.

Before I knew what was happening, my hand travelled into my pajama pants and I
started gently rubbing my clit, looking for release. All the aggravation over the past forty-eight hours started to dissipate and I felt myself finally start to relax. Maybe an epic orgasm would help me sleep. I was almost there when I felt eyes on me, only to turn and see Derek standing there.

I started at his broad shoulder
s, his naked chest, following the smattering of hair down his happy trail until my eyes reached his prominent erection bulging in his black boxer briefs. He stood there hesitantly with his perfectly ripped, tattooed arms at his side as he bit down on his bottom lip.

“You’re not disgusted?” He
looked scared to death.

“Do I look disgusted?” I said, locking my eyes with his and keeping my pace.

I could have sworn I heard him let out a growl as he walked around the couch and quickly pulled my pants off. Using his large calloused hands, he lifted my bottom higher and dropped his head between my legs. Making one long swipe along my slit, he caused me to buck off the couch in pure pleasure.

Holy fuck, what had I been missing out on all these years?
His talented tongue did slow circles, making heat flood to my core. Removing one of his hands from under me, he teased a finger at my entrance, then another, gently pumping in and out while nibbling lightly on my clit. I could feel my orgasm getting ready to detonate. I moved to sit on my elbows and saw him look up at me with a lust struck face and hungry eyes. Before I knew what was happening, I shattered around him. I wanted him inside me. Scratch that, I
needed
him inside me.

“Fuck me,” I begged.

“I can’t, Joss,” he said, getting to his feet. “That was a one-time thing. I was so turned on from watching you and I let my clouded judgment get the better of me. You’re sweeter than I thought you’d be.”

He turned and left me there wanting more.
Asshole!

Derek

What the fuck was I thinking? Oh, that’s right. I was thinking with my other head. Fuck, why the hell did I just do that? I just went down on my best friend’s sister! Even worse, I wanted to do it again and again. I wanted to pound her perfect pussy until she was screaming my name. I wanted to use every trick in my arsenal to make her come over and over. My dick was so hard I could probably pound nails or crush diamonds. It wasn’t going to go away, and I definitely wasn’t gay. Her tits looked so fucking perfect in that tight white tank-top, too.

Being with Joss was the sweetest form of torture.

I sat on my bed and started jerking off. I looked up and saw Joss standing in the doorway, still missing her pants. Her long blonde hair cascaded to the middle of her back in soft waves, framing her beautiful, angelic face. Her blue eyes filled with desire and lust consumed me. I knew I was a goner. I could walk away once, but I wasn’t going to be able to resist her again, especially when she stood there looking like the forbidden fruit.

She dipped her hand to her entrance and took a swipe before placing two fingers in her mouth and sucking them. “I just want a little fun, Derek.”

She climbed onto the bed and took the fingers she’d just sucked and pushed them against my ass, slowly sliding in. Her mouth found the crown of my cock, licking off the bead of pre-cum. As soon as she dropped her head to take my length, she skimmed her fingers along my ass before pushing slightly forward. I bucked up, hitting the back of her throat.

Fuck, she has a talented mouth.

Bobbing up and down, she met my gaze, burning a hole into me. She moved her fingers in and out and I realized it was the feeling I desired, not the person. Fuck Tyler and his trying to make me think shit that wasn’t there to begin with.

Speaking of fucking…

“Joss, I want to own you. I want to hear you scream my fucking name. I want you to walk funny tomorrow. When you sit, I want you to have the reminder that I fucked you. I want in that sweet fucking pussy of yours,” I practically growled.

“Shit,” she mumbled, face flushed and lips parted.

“You on the Pill?” I asked and she nodded. It was all the confirmation I needed since I trusted her. I didn’t want barriers with her. I wanted all of her. I wanted to feel her come on my cock while she screamed my name. Fucking-A, was she going to be screaming my name.

Leaning her back onto the bed, I pushed the head of my cock against her parted glistening folds. She was dripping wet, so she must have liked what she was doing to me,
which was an even bigger turn on. Joss was kinky. I would have never guessed it from the uptight kid that used to try to be like us.

Pressing forward, I dove in, feeling pure ecstasy. Being inside her was like
Heaven on Earth. Her breath hitched and I drove on with long, slow strokes, angling upwards. Her hands wrapped around my neck and she began panting. I couldn’t hold out much longer; I needed her to come for me. I picked up my pace and started ramming into her and, before long, she was screaming and squirting. I felt it coming and pulled out just as it happened, making it end up on my stomach and the bed. It was one of the hottest things I’d ever seen. She looked absolutely mortified.

“You’ve never had that happen before?” I asked.

“No.” Her cheeks reddened with embarrassment as she chewed on her lip.

“Want me to make you do it again?” I had to at least try and make it happen again.

She nodded hesitantly and I slipped back inside her, thrusting as hard as I could without blowing my load. Her perfect D cups were bouncing. Using my hands, I yanked her shirt down, exposing perfect rosy pink nipples. I twisted them with my fingers and I knew I was getting her close again. Ramming back, I gave it my all until she detonated around me, squirting on my stomach with a loud howl that would have wolves descending from far and wide.

“I’m gonna come,” I told her, gritting my teeth
and trying to make it last for as long as I could. I never wanted it to end. 

“Fucking fill me
,” she said, dropping her hand and gently massaging my heavy, soaked balls until I came. “Give me every last drop,” she rasped.

I don’t think I’ve come so hard in my entire life. Sex with Joss was out of this world. She made me forget all about my fucked up life. She was a high I never wanted to come down from.

Feeling like an asshole, I leaned down and kissed her hard, realizing that I hadn’t kissed her the entire time. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pinning me to her. I knew I should probably feel a little guilty for just fucking my best friend’s sister, but I couldn’t find it in me to feel an ounce of regret.

“Fucking-A, you rocked my world sweetheart,” I said honestly.

Grinning, she smiled back. “You set mine on fire.”

Even though I didn’t want to, I was about to ruin a perfect moment. “Before this goes any further, you should know that I’m not settling down material. I don’t know that I ever will be. I need to put that out there, so you don’t accuse me of hurting you later on.”

“Please, I’m only twenty, Derek. I’m not looking into turning into Aubrey or Piper. Shit, I’d be a terrible mother. I’m just looking for a toy-friend, someone to play with. I’m the first one to admit that I’m entirely too selfish at this point in my life to have a ball and chain.”

“As long as we’re on the same page.
I just don’t want you to end up with a broken heart and it causing problems.”

“I think I see this as a mutually beneficial relationship, you?”

“Definitely.” I grinned. “But, as long as we’re together, it’s mutually exclusive. I don’t want to have to worry about catching something, and I’m sure you feel the same way. Deal?”

She stuck her hand out for me to shake. “Deal. I’m looking forward to many orgasms in my future.”

“You can count on it,” I said, kissing her again.

It was like making a deal with the devil. Good thing I liked to
sin.