Children in Her Shadow (17 page)

Victoria was insistent that Ruth should join them for a night out pointing out that it was Friday, and that Edward would probably be doing his Special Constable duties. Ruth waited until the Friday evening when she returned home from work to announce to Ellen that as Edward would be doing his police duties she was going out to celebrate a friend’s birthday. The level of communication between Ruth and Ellen had deteriorated to such a level and had become so strained that Ellen simply tutted, remarked that any good mother should be with her child and ended the conversation.

The plan was that Ruth and her friends would meet at the Tower Ballroom at about seven thirty. A group of eight ladies from Vickers were waiting when Ruth arrived a little out of breath at about seven forty five. They spent about half an hour generally chatting before Victoria said she was going to the lavatory and would Ruth go with her. They left the main ballroom area and when they arrived in a quieter area, Victoria took her to one side and said, “Do you really want to see what Edward does most Friday nights?” Ruth was taken aback as the last thing on her mind tonight, the first time she had been out with friends in months, was Edward.

Ruth turned to Victoria and said, “What are you talking about, he’s at the police tonight.” “Oh no he isn’t” said Victoria, “he’s sat at the far end of the ballroom and Sarah is there too.” Ruth responded with a mixture of anger and surprise. It suddenly dawned on her that if Victoria was right she would have the evidence Edward had so strenuously suggested was not there, to show that he was seeing Sarah again. However, Ruth pondered whether she actually wanted to see the evidence for herself fearing the potential consequences of any confrontation, particularly with Sarah there.

Ruth turned to Victoria and coldly said, “So that’s why you were so insistent that I should come out tonight, because you and the girls wanted to embarrass me and have some fun at my expense.” Victoria was surprised by Ruth’s reaction and assured her that she had no idea that Edward would be there pointing out that he usually goes ice skating on a Friday and that is why she had chosen to go to the Tower Ballroom.

Ruth accepted this and as they returned to their seats she glanced in the direction pointed out by Victoria. And there he was and there she was, sitting in a small group, a group which Ruth recognised. The group were happily chatting and it was clear that Edward and Sarah certainly were not ignoring each other. Ruth felt numb. She didn’t know what to do, should she confront them or should she wait until Edward left the group and catch him then.

Suddenly, a wave of guilt swept over her as she started to convince herself that it was she who should not be there. The words of Ellen were ringing in Ruth’s ear that a mother should be at home not out enjoying herself. Ruth had by now convinced herself that there was nothing to be gained by speaking to Edward tonight and that she should go home immediately. No pleading from Victoria could persuade her otherwise. However, as Ruth left she lingered long enough to see that whilst Edward and Sarah were evidently not a couple their body language was saying that they would like to be. Their eyes lingered upon each other as others were speaking and the occasional whisper into each other’s ear served only to convince Ruth to run.

Ruth ran to the bus stop and caught the next bus home to find Ellen sitting alone in the sitting room. Ellen was surprised to see Ruth home so early and could see that she was upset. She invited Ruth to sit down and she asked her what had so upset her. Ruth thought for a moment and then throwing caution to the wind explained what she had seen. Ellen asked if Edward had seen Ruth and more particularly had she spoken to Edward. Ruth explained that she was too upset to confront him and chose to rush home instead.

Ellen paused and then said, “I will speak to Edward and I will tell him to be more attentive to you. I will not speak of what you saw this evening, best not to cause a scene, but I will ensure that he is home more.” Ruth was surprised by her calm reaction but concurred that Ellen’s view was probably in truth her own, that if Ellen could stop Edward from going out so much it would stop him from seeing Sarah.

Nothing could be more from the truth. Whilst it was evident that Edward did seem to be home more and that he was more attentive, Ruth was not to know that Victoria’s warnings were well placed. Edward had indeed resumed seeing Sarah even before Charlotte was born and they had been seeing each other at least once per month. Edward had also managed to arrange to spend some days each month at the Dick Kerr factory in Preston as an advisor on aircraft communications and this placed him in the very department that Sarah worked in.

Edward and Sarah were meeting regularly and had discussed the folly of Edward’s decision not to convert to Catholicism and go on to marry Sarah and they continued to declare their undying love for each other. Sarah’s Catholic values were all that stood between Edward and Sarah having an affair but their relationship was intense and destined to go further. They had already spoken of a time in the future when it may be possible for them to marry though they acknowledged that a divorce for Edward could take some time. Their conversations were based more in the world of hope than reality with both knowing that for the time being at least theirs would need to be a clandestine relationship unless a fortuitous set of circumstances were to suddenly provide the solution that was currently eluding them.

What Ruth was also unaware of was that Sarah had been to Edward’s home and had seen Charlotte on more than one occasion renewing at the same time the strong relationship she had built previously with Ellen and Sam. In those conversations it had also emerged that Sarah had been advised by her doctor that an underlying heart condition would make it dangerous for her to have children of her own as child birth would put too much of a strain on her. In all other ways Sarah was a healthy young woman.

Had Ruth known anything of what was going on it is hard to predict the likely outcome and the impact this might have had on her marriage and the course of her own life.

The war continued to dominate conversation in the factories, pubs and homes of Britain. After much of Europe had been occupied by the Axis powers for four years, and with public concern of a German invasion of Britain, the Allies finally launched their campaign to liberate Western Europe, codenamed Operation Overlord. The public’s moral lifted with reports of massive numbers of Allied troops being landed in Europe where the RAF had already secured air supremacy. The nation’s spirits were high, and guarded talk that the end might be in sight was commonplace.

It was also in the June that Ruth was to be summoned into the living room of the Carmichaels home to be told that by the end of September the family would be moving out of their home as the landlord wanted the house back. In itself this was unsurprising as Ruth was aware that the tenancy was due for renewal. What was a surprise was that the family was to move to Eastbrook Farm on the outskirts of the tiny hamlet of Whittingham set against the lower slopes of the Lancashire Pennines some twenty miles from Blackpool and about six miles from Preston.

There was no consultation with Ruth who it transpired had been kept in the dark for more than three months whilst the family had been transacting the lease for the farm. Ruth could not separate this decision from a desire on Edward’s part to keep her from her friends and Blackpool though it transpired that his motives were far more Machiavellian.

The tenancy for the farm had come about because of the death of the owner, a bomber pilot who had been shot down and killed. His wife, who Sam and Ellen knew was unable to continue to manage the smallholding that had commitments to supply eggs, poultry, milk and pigs to the local community and the military forces in Blackpool.

Sam’s interest in farming went back to his own childhood where he had grown up and spent over twenty years on the family’s small farm on the outskirts of Pilling not very far away. He was therefore used to the farming way of life, but importantly, he saw this as a way of moving into a family business. Sam needed to pull many strings to ensure that this valuable tenancy was secured by the Carmichaels particularly as it was one of a number of prime strategic suppliers to the RAF locally. The Carmichaels seemed able to secure the transfer of the farm tenancy and the purchase of the livestock when many others who were far better qualified could and probably should have been given preference.

Ruth could only imagine what life would be like living on a remote farm, miles away from her friends, Moira and her now settled life in Lancashire. She feared the isolation and the inevitable pressure on her to spend any spare time she might have working on the farm, rather than with Charlotte. There was also the matter of how she would get to and from Blackpool. She was told that Sam would take Edward and her to Preston each day by car where they could catch buses that were especially laid on to take workers to both the Preston and Blackpool aircraft plants.

The plans seemed to Ruth to be fragile and in discussing them with Moira they alighted upon the solution that Ruth should stay once again with Moira between Monday and Friday spending the weekends with Charlotte and the family at Eastbrook Farm. Whilst this meant that Ruth would not see her precious Charlotte during the week it seemed to all concerned to be an admirable solution.

September came and Ruth and Edward managed to take a few days from their work to help with the move to Eastbrook Farm. They arrived at the end of the day when furniture and personal belongings had been delivered in the back of a truck provided by the egg packing company that would collect their eggs every two days.

They were met at the farm gate by an old man in his late sixties who introduced himself as Tom Masters, the farm hand. He was a chirpy wizened old man wearing wellington boots from a bygone age, a long coat with string tied around the middle to keep it closed from the chilling breeze and a potato sack draped around his shoulder to stop the evening rain from penetrating. “I’ve been here man and boy” was his greeting as he guided them to the farmhouse rather as though he were ushering royalty.

The farm itself was situated immediately alongside a single track country road that linked a number of small villages and farms. It also served as the main link to Goosnargh to the south which was where the nearest shops were located and Garstang to the west, a more substantial market town. The farm was on the road to the Bowland Forrest and the Trough of Bowland and, for Charlotte, Jubilee Tower where she was conceived. The nearest farmhouse was Bowland Moss Farm which was about half a mile away and there were small workers houses a little nearer. The farmhouse itself dated back to the eighteenth century. It had three bedrooms a large working kitchen with a wood fired stove, a small living room that overlooked the road and another room to the rear which was a boot room with a toilet and bath.

Ruth’s first impression was of a dark uninviting place with low exposed beams, flaking whitewashed walls and cold flagstone floors. The bedroom that she and Edward were to share was slightly larger than she had anticipated but was also dark because of its exceptionally small window cut into the eaves of the house. The walls were papered with floral patterned wallpaper that was in good condition and the boarded wooden floor had a small carpet by the sink. There was electric lighting and power provided to the house and out buildings but as this regularly failed, there was also a backup generator.

Ruth and Edward were shown around the farm by Sam with Tom Masters close at his heel correcting any errors he was making about aspects of the farm or the stock. To the very rear of the first half acre field were rows of nesting boxes for the four hundred laying chickens and a propagation shed. As they moved towards the chicken sheds, the birds seemed to sense that as it was already getting dusk they would need to go inside where a feed would be there for them. Tom explained that if the birds were not in the hen houses by dusk it was difficult to get them in and the local foxes would undoubtedly kill some overnight.

With the birds safely in for the night their final job was to settle down the thirty six pigs. The smell as they approached the pig stalls was distinctive and lingering as Tom explained that three schools provided swill for the farm, in return for the occasional chicken. Finally Sam pointed to the nearby field and explained that there was a milking herd of thirty cows that Tom looked after seven days per week. On the edge of the other farm yard buildings were a rundown but adequate milking parlour and winter stabling.

As they turned in the fading light to return to the house, Ruth noticed the silhouette of another shed and was about to ask what that was used for when she saw the familiar amateur radio mast proudly erected alongside it. Ruth was furious as she realised that Edward must have been to the farmhouse previously to erect the aerial when he would have had the opportunity to show her the property she was to live in. When she challenged Edward, he was dismissive and firm when he said, “That shed is for my exclusive use and will be locked at all times. If you ever need to get me when I’m in there, there is a bell in the kitchen.”

Ruth quickly settled into the routine of staying with Moira during the week and returning to the farm at weekends. She also enjoyed the renewed freedom of being able to come and go as she pleased. She began to reconnect with her work friends and to go out dancing and ice skating again. Whilst she met young men when she was out at night, she was quick to ensure they knew she was married and would be returning alone to her home at the end of the evening. Ruth was surprised that no one seemed to have seen Sarah around the Blackpool scene and reported sightings of Edward in the dance halls of Blackpool also dried up. Ruth took this to be a positive sign but what she didn’t know was that Edward and Sarah were meeting in Preston somewhere Ruth never went.

Ruth continued her letter writing always being careful not to give a hint of the secret side of her life. This was a terrible subterfuge and was made the more difficult to manage when Ruth so wanted to confide in her mother or Mary and especially Auntie Lott. Her letters were sterile considering the constant turmoil in her life and she felt sure that those who knew her best must also know her letters were guarded and lacked the spontaneity that had so characterised her earlier letters.