Candi (9 page)

The
guy says that he just has to get in there and scrape it out. He says that’s what they do with an abortion, so it’s all cool. He said it’s not big deal and he can do it tomorrow. It will be over and done with and no one will know anything about it. The guy says that he does it all the time and it’s quick and easy.

Yeah, just get me high and I can get through it. Dylan wanted to fuck on the way to see this guy. God he just can’t ever get enough. I told him no. I don’t want his jizz drippin on the guy while he’s down there. Dylan was being really sweet. Like it was his or something. Maybe it is his… I don’t know for sure. He said that he’d be right here for me. Whatever I need. Here we go… I’m going in now.

I was pretty wasted but it’s all over with. The guy said that I was pretty far along but that he got it out. I’m not sure what that means. Dylan said that he heard me screaming but I don’t remember a thing. The guy gave me a something before to help numb me. I don’t remember a thing, but Dylan was pretty freaked out.

Dylan is really sweet to me. He wants to take care of me. He really does love me. No one else does. I
’m glad that I have Dylan in my life. Someone that I can depend on when shit gets rough.

We had to give the guy two hundred bucks. Thank God for
Christmas and grandparents. If they only knew what they were paying for. They’d lose their dentures!

Anyway…
it’s over with. It’s done. The guy said that I lost a lot of blood, but that I should be okay. I just needed to rest today and by tomorrow I should be fine. That’s what I want to hear.

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. I am gonna take back my life. Make a real future for myself and not become like all these asshole adults around me. I will be different. I want a career, a good job.
I want a family. One that doesn’t hurt each other and lie to each other. I want to do it different. I will be different. I can’t wait for tomorrow.

I feel really weak. It hurts. I just want to sleep. I went back to Dylan’s for the night. I can’t go home. My mom will know that something is up. I need to hide from her just for tonight. Then tomorrow I can face her with a new outlook. A new attitude. I know my mom will flip if I don‘t call her, but what the fuck… I don’t care. I just gotta rest.

Dylan tucked
me in to his bed and brought me something to drink. Coke I think. It tasted sweet. I need to rest just for a bit…

Bob came home. Dylan tried to stop him. He told him that I was on my period. Bob said that he didn’t care. Then he shoved Dylan out of the room and locked the door.

I told him that I couldn
’t do it. I had to stop him. I tried, but he is too strong for me. I’m all torn up down there. I tried to stop him, but he forced himself on top of me. I begged him to stop. I told him that I would give him a blow job instead. He didn’t even listen to me.

He held me down and forced his dick inside of me. I started bleeding
again. It hurt so bad. He wouldn’t stop. The louder I screamed the harder he pumped it in me.

Dylan broke down the door and pulled Bob
off me. Dylan slugged Bob right in the face. He rolled onto the floor holding his bloody nose.

I was crying so hard that I couldn
‘t even speak. Dylan picked me up and carried me to his car.

As we drove away, I saw
Bob standing there at the door smiling at us. He flipped us off as he slammed the door.

I didn
’t know what to do. I told Dylan to just take me home.

My mom was still at work when we got there. Dylan carried me up to my room and put me in bed. He had a blanket wrapped around me from his bed. He
opened the blanket. There was so much blood. He tried to clean me up but it just kept coming out. I told him that it was okay… that I would be okay.

I just wanted him to lay with me. He softly stroked my hair and kept
reassuring me and himself that it was gonna be okay. He looked down at me and got a worried look on his face. He told me that he was so sorry and he started to cry.

I feel bad for Dylan. This wasn
’t his fault. He tried to help me. He helped me get rid of the baby and he got Bob to stop. He really did help me out. He was my friend. I hate to see him sad and worried.

Dylan looked at me
with fear in his eyes, and said, “I need to call someone.”

“
There’s no one to call.”

“
I can call your mom.”

“No. She’ll just freak out. I’ll be okay. The bleeding will stop.”

He looked down again and
rubbed his head. He wouldn’t listen to me. He rushed out to try and find a number to call my mom. I don’t want him to call my mom.

I am so tired. I just need to
rest. I know I’ll feel better after I sleep for a while. I feel so tired. I’m so weak. I just need to sleep………… everything will be okay tomorrow.

(
That was the last entry that Candace made in her private journal. It was found next to her body when her mom arrived home.)

XXX