Candi (5 page)

Right about then Jess came home and I tried to get up. I was afraid that she would get mad. But she didn
’t. She came over and said, “Well, well, what’s going on here?” She said it with a smile and in a really sexy voice. She reached over and took a big hit off the joint and then she winked at me.

She whispered in my ear
, “Just go with it,” and then she nibbled on my ear.

It tickled and made me laugh. She kissed me and grabbed my boob. I was confused but it all felt so good. I was so out of it.

Jess blew me another shotgun and Dylan was taking off his pants. I blew the smoke out of my mouth just in time to have Dylan’s junk forced into my mouth. He held my arms up above my head and forced his dick in my mouth. I was trying to tell him to stop but I couldn’t say a thing. He was gagging me and telling me how good I was and that he liked it.

Jess slid my pants of
f and touched me down there with her fingers. I couldn’t do anything. Dylan had my arms pined down and my mouth full of his dick.

I heard Jess say how wet I was and that I was sexy. Dylan pulled his dick out of my mouth and Jess started kissing me.

I lost track of time and didn’t know what was happening. She smiled at me and said that I was going to love it. Then before I knew what was happening Dylan shoved his dick inside me. It was really hard and it hurt.

He was still holding my arms up above my head a
nd he started pumping it in me. I tried to say no, to get him to stop but I couldn’t. I was so high. It was like an out of body experience that I’ve read about.

My mind was saying, “
No, STOP!“ But my mouth didn’t say a word. He was kissing me really deep with his tongue and slamming his dick in me. It started to feel really good.

Dylan was asking me if I liked it and I nodded. I did like it. It felt really good. Jess was naked and touching both of us and herself while we did it.

Oh my gosh I did it. It felt really good. I wanted Dylan to stop but I never stopped him and it felt so good. The things he did to me. I liked it.

I kind of felt like they forced me to do it, but I liked it so I must have wanted it. Maybe I gave him some sign or maybe I even said
something to make him think I wanted it. I was so out of it, I don’t remember what I was saying or doing.

Dylan came inside of me. He screamed when he came. I don
’t even know if he was wearing a condom. He made crazy faces and then he kissed me and told me that I was great. Jess smiled at me and said, “There, it’s done. That wasn’t so hard was it?”

No it wasn
’t. Why did I make such a big deal out of it? We all put our clothes back on and I went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror to see if I looked any different. I still looked like the same person, just maybe with more experience. It actually felt really nice. I did it. I was a woman now.

Afterwards we sat around, ate some pizza and watched TV. I
started to feel queasy. The beer and pot was making me sick. I went to the bathroom and puked. I felt a little better after that. I asked Dylan to take me home.

When we got to the corner he kissed me and told me that I was the best he ever had. He smiled at me and
said not to tell Jess, and then he winked at me. He really was sweet. Was I really good? Maybe I have some strange natural talent or something… or maybe Dylan was still high. Either way I’m glad that it’s over with. So now, it was no big deal. I could do it with Ben now right? I already did it once so what did it matter. I wanted to be with Ben not Dylan. Ben was the one I loved. Tomorrow I’m going to his house and show him how much I love him. I know that I can do this! I’m ready now…

Sept 4

Wow, what a day. I told my mom that I was going to the mall shopping with Paige. I walked over to Ben’s house instead. He was there, alone. It gave us time to talk, but I really didn’t want to talk. I wanted to show him that I was ready to prove my love for him. I told him that I loved him, and then I kissed him. He didn’t stop me. He kissed me back and that was my sign that he was coming back to me.

Then I gave him a long blow job; a good one. He really liked it. I took my time and tried to watch him and see what felt good. He sa
id that I was gonna make him cum, but I didn’t want that to happen so I stopped.

Then I did it. I took off my clothes and jumped on him. He was surprised. I rode on top of him like I was riding a horse. He seemed to really like it.

See I told you Ben that I really did love you. He came inside me. I made him cum. I’m so proud of myself.

We laid there next to each other afterwards for a long time. I told him that I was sorry I made him wait so lo
ng. He told me that it was cool and that I was worth the wait.

Then he rolled over on top of me and we did it again. Ben made love to me. He kissed me a lot and told me that it felt so good. It was good. It felt right with Ben. I loved him. It was like we were one person when we made love. Like our souls united in pa
ssion. I am so glad that I did this. I want to keep Ben so badly. I want to be with Ben FOREVER!

This is
what it was supposed to be like… with someone you love. Dylan just got me over the first time, so that I could be with Ben and not lose him. I appreciate that.

Dylan was a nice guy but I
’m not in love with him. I love Ben. Ben is the one for me and I just proved it to him. He loved it and so did I.

I like having sex. It really was no big deal. I just want Ben to know that I love him and I always will.
He drove me home and let me out on the corner. He kissed me and told me that he’d see me at school Monday. He was back. I won back my Ben. I am sooo happy that I can’t stand it. I feel like I am floating on a cloud. I know that I am going to sleep good tonight.

I will be dreaming of sex with Ben…
OMG>>> I had sex with BEN!!!!!!

It
’s really true!

Sept 5

BORING family day. I just can
’t wait til school tomorrow. When Ben and I are back together and everything makes sense again. I want to hold his hand and I want him to kiss me. I want to feel the butterflies when he kisses me. He makes me feel so special. I love him and he loves me. No one can understand what it feels like. This is real love.

Maybe someday soon we can get an apartment together and
live together. That would be so cool. I can cook for him. We won’t have any parents telling us what to do. We can stay up all night and have sex if we want to. And I do want to. I know he wants it too. I can’t wait to see him tomorrow. Gotta get my homework done and get my parents off my back.

I
’ll have lots to talk about tomorrow…

Sept 6

Oh shit…
no school today. It’s Labor Day. I can’t stand another day with my family. I called Ben and told him to meet me at the park. I want to be with him, I can’t stand it any more. I saw his car there when I walked up. I jumped in and kissed him. I was so glad to see him. He kissed me and started grabbing me all over… all over. It felt good.

He pulled his dick out and smiled at me. I knew that he wanted me to kiss him
there too, so I did. He got big and hard. Then he said, “Let’s get in the backseat where we have more room,” and we did.

He took my pants off and kissed me down there. It felt so nice. He was gentle and seemed to care how I felt. It felt good and I told h
im how much I liked it. Then he climbed up on me and rode me like crazy. He really gave it to me and I liked it. I think we came together this time. It felt so special, so right. When we were done we put our clothes back on and sat at a picnic table nearby.

I snuggled in close to him and told him that I was so glad that we were back together. Then he just looked at me and said that he needed to get home. He dropped me at the corner and kissed me. Ben seem
ed a little different than before. Maybe it’ll just take some time for him to feel close to me again.

I am gonna sleep so good tonight. I want to get close to Ben again. He knows now how much I love him. I think we
’re gonna be together for a long long time. He is the perfect boyfriend for me. I am so glad that we are back together. I think I should buy him a present. Hmmm what should I get him? I’m going to dream about it, maybe something will come to me.

It feels good to be a woman. I like having sex with Ben and I know that he likes it too. Maybe we
’ll have sex again tomorrow. I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. I just made myself cum with my fingers just thinking about Ben. I wish his mouth was down there again. I really liked that. I’m gonna have such sweet dreams….

Sept 7

OH MY GOSH!!! What happened???? Yesterday Ben was my lover and he loved me… I know that he loved me. Today he wouldn’t even talk to me. He just hung out with that Becca girl all day. He was all over her. WTF??? I don’t get it… I thought we were cool again. Dylan is gonna take me over to Ben’s later tonight. Maybe we can figure this whole thing out. I am sooooooooooooooo confused!

Okay, so Dylan took me to Ben’s. He was there alone so we could talk. He said that Becca just left. He told Dylan that she was, “just about there, that he was gonna get him some of that hot ass any day now.”

I was sitting right there. BEN I AM YOUR GIRLFRIEND >>>>> Why are you talking about Becca???????

Dylan went outside for a smoke and Ben came over to me and started kissing me. I was confused, but I liked it. I kissed him back. He had me suck on his dick until it was big and hard. Then he said that he wanted to fuck me real good and he started taking off my pants. I asked him what all this meant. Were we together or not? He kissed me and said, “Baby, we’re together right now. Right now I don’t want to be with anyone but you.”

I gave in to him. He got on top of me and I let him inside me. I was confused but he said he only wanted to be with me. That meant that we were together ri
ght?

It felt so good with Ben inside me. I feel complete. We
’re like one person when he’s inside me. I wish we could stay like that forever. It this is what it takes to keep him, then I will willingly do it. Everyday if he wants it. I love him so much. I don’t want to lose him, especially to that Becca bitch. It was good. Ben kissed me and told me he really liked being with me.

So I guess we are back together again. I am so confused. I can
’t even talk to him anymore. He just starts kissing me and we end up fucking. There is no talking anymore with Ben. I miss talking with Ben.

Sept 8

Ben was distant again at school today. I don’t get it. I gave him everything he wanted. I have sex with him whenever he wants it and it still doesn’t seem to be enough. Dylan said that he wants to talk to me tonight. I hope he can give me some pointers on Ben, cause I just can’t figure him out. Maybe Jess can help me. I need help bad!

Okay so I just met with Dylan and Jess. Dylan told me that Ben thinks I’m a whore and just wants to fuck me but not be together. What does that mean? Are we together or not? I’m fucking him because that was what he wanted to keep us together. Now, I do that and we are still not together? But he still wants to fuck me too??? WHAT THE HELL!!!!

Jess said that Ben is mad cause I did Dylan first. He thinks I
’m a whore now. I didn’t do Dylan, he did me. And I only did Dylan to get it over with so that I could do Ben.

God, I am soooo screwed here. What do I do? Ben just wants to be fuck buddies and
nothing more… I guess it’s over. I am not going to just be Ben’s fuck buddy. I love him. How can he turn on and off his emotions like that? How can he love me one minute and not the next. Maybe tomorrow he’ll come around.

Dylan had some po
t and I feel kinda messed up. I’m confused and lightheaded. I’m going to bed. I just want to cry, but I can’t. I feel too high to cry, too high to really care. I can’t think straight right now. I need to sleep.

I
’ll fix everything… tomorrow.

Sept 9

Today is another day,
but still no Ben. He is still all over Becca. I overheard her in the bathroom telling her friends that she has made Ben wait long enough. She said that this weekend she was going to give it to him. Okay so maybe this is good for me. Maybe if Becca gives it to him than he will think that she is a whore too and come back to me. I can’t believe that I am excited about someone else fucking my Ben. What’s wrong with me? But if that’s what it takes… I will wait for him.

School sucks by the way.
Missy and Paige don’t even look at me anymore. I’m glad that I have Dylan and Jess or I would have no friends at school at all. My life sucks right now!

Sept 10

Going to Dylan’s tonight with Jess. I’ve got nothing else to do, might as well. I need a fix. I need to get high to take my mind off of Ben and Becca. They are probably fucking right now!!!! I can’t stand this. Why is Ben making this so hard? I just want to forget all about it, for tonight anyway. It’s Friday night and I want to PARTY!!!!