California Sunshine (16 page)

              "Deal. Can I ask you somethin', though?" I asked, looking in the mirror at my red puffy eyes.

              "You know you can."

              "Why me? Why didn't you run in the other direction when you found out all this? Why'd you fall in love with me?"

              "Because there was something about you. Something I couldn't quite figure out, but I knew I had to get to know you better. There are so many little things. Your eyes, how when you smile it slightly crinkles the sides and they seem to sparkle. The way you laugh, it's infectious. You think for yourself, you're intelligent. You love adventure and you don't let anything stand in your way. You've had a rough past, and yeah, okay maybe it's a lot to wrap your mind around, but look where you are now? Why me, though?"

              I turned, looking him dead in the eyes. "Because you saved me without knowin' it. You looked at me and my world stopped. I never believed in love at first sight 'til you."

              He smiled. "Come on. Let's get back out there, what do you say to that?"

              "I say let's do it!"

              He laughed and pulled me into a hug. "I love you. Happy Thanksgiving."

              "I love you too. Happy Thanksgivin'."
 

Chapter 16

              The rest of my Thanksgiving trip had been amazing. I had spent the next day with Sarah and Robin. We talked a lot about my past, where I saw my future going and just bullshitted between. The day after that Josh and I spent half the day together. Laughing and talking. He took me to lunch and then the airport. I was sad to be leaving but happy to be going back to work. Plus Amelia was leaving tomorrow and I wanted to spend some time with her. Just the thought of her leaving made me want to cry. I guess part of me used her for my own personal healing, the fact that I never had a younger sibling, and the only sibling I had, had in a way turned his back on me.

              I took my suitcase to my room and belly-flopped on the bed, but before I could even get comfortable my phone began to ring.

              "Hello?" I asked, eyes closed, my voice muffled by the comforter.

              "Jo?" I heard Ashley's reply.

              "Yup."

              "What's the matter? You and Josh didn't break up did you?" Concern was thick in her voice.

              "Were we s'posed to?" I asked, clearly confused.

              "No. You just sound, I don't know, you sound listless. What's the matter?"

              I laughed. "No. It's called bein' tired. I just spent half the day with Josh and then almost the other half on a plane. I have work tomorrow, and I'm goin' to have lunch with Amelia before they leave. I've got a full week of stuff, it just baffles me how y'all somehow still seem to have the impression that I don't do nothin'. Just 'cause I ain't got strict hours or nothin', I still have shit to do." I felt myself getting angry.

              "Whoa, calm down killer. I never once said that. I know you stay pretty busy. I was just callin' to see how your trip went. I'll talk to ya later, though. Call me when you've calmed down."

              And with that, the line went quiet and I tossed my phone on my pillow.

              I woke up to my alarm ringing. I was still dressed from the day before and a little disoriented. I checked my phone and groaned, I had six missed calls from Josh. I hopped up, dizziness kicking in and I had to stand still for a few seconds. I took a quick shower, blow dried my hair and got dressed. I grabbed my sweater and quickly called Josh. I chewed on my bottom lip, knowing that it was so early there.

              After a few rings, his sleepy voice came on the line. "I was beginning to worry I had done something wrong."

              "You didn't do nothin'. I got home and fell asleep. Slept all night. I'm sorry it's so early, but I couldn't wait to call you back."

              He chuckled, still sounding only half awake. "I'm glad you called. Did you get any rest?"

              I smiled. "I did. Now I'm gettin' ready for work. I'll talk to you tonight, though, go back to sleep."

              "Mm, but I don't want to go back to sleep."

              "Why not?" I asked, pouring coffee into my travel mug.

              "Because it took me forever to go to sleep without you here with me last night. Now that I'm talking to you, I don't want to go back to sleep." There was a smile in his voice, which brightened my day tremendously.

              "Well think about it this way, you can go back to sleep and dream about me."

He laughed. "I was already doing that."

              "Oh were you now? Was it a good dream?" I asked, smiling, as I waited for my toast.

              "It was a really good dream. Want to hear it?"

              "Of course I do!"

              "Well, we were walking on the beach. You had a beautiful white sundress on. God, Jo you looked amazing. Your hair was down, blowing in the breeze. I stopped you, but just before I said anything that's when the phone rang. I think I know what I was going to say, though."

              "I think I do too. Ain't that kinda scary though?"

              "What? Wanting to marry you? No, but I do think it's too fast. I think my heart's taking over my brain and letting me know what I want. Eventually, though."

              I smiled, looking down at the counter, my hair falling in my face. "Well, you know what? I'd say yes eventually."

              "Wait, really?!" I could hear the enthusiasm in his voice.

              "Yeah. I would, but look, I've gotta go. I'm about to eat and leave. I love you. Get some sleep, finish that dream. Let me know what I say."

              "Alright, baby. Have a great day. I love you too."

              "I will. You too, stay safe. Talk to ya tonight. Bye."

              "Bye." He almost whispered.

              "So how was your trip?" Emily, Amelia's mom asked, as I stood waiting.

              "Great. I'm falling in love with California." I replied, a slight smile on my face.

              "With California or someone there?" She asked.

              My smile widened. "Both."

              "Girl, who is he?"

              I had found a long time ago that Emily and I got along very well. And had become friends since I'd been hanging out with Amelia.

              "His name is Joshua. He's thirty-five. Works with the Coast Guard. He's amazing."

              "Sounds like it if he got you. So when are you gonna make the leap and move there?"

              My heart began beating rapidly in my chest. I hadn't thought about it, but sooner or later one of us would have to move, and more than likely it would have to be me. I didn't see Josh leaving the West Coast anytime soon.

              "I don't know. I don't know if I'm ready for all that."

              "Let me ask you somethin', whatcha got here? Friends? Family?"

              "Well now that y'all are leavin', I got a few friends. Family's in Arkansas, so I guess I ain't got much. My job."

              "But Jo, with your job skills, you could move to California and find a job in a split second and you know it. Look, I know we ain't been friends for long, but quit bein' so scared of life. It's gonna pass you by and then what are you gonna be left with? If Joshua asked ya tomorrow to marry him, what would your answer be?"

              "No."

              "What?!" She asked, and for a second I thought her eyes were going to pop out of her head.

              "We've been datin' seriously since two days before Thanksgivin'. Man would be crazy to ask me to marry him."

              She laughed as Amelia came walking in with Charles, her dad. "Alright, fair enough. Follow you're heart, though. You deserve happiness."

              "Jo!" Amelia squealed as she ran over and threw her arms around me.

              "Hey, sweet pea. You ready to go eat?" I asked, squeezing her gently.

              "Yes! Can we go to Chuck E. Cheese's?"

              "Amelia! No ma'am." Charles interjected.

              "Well, I don't mind Charles. If it's alright with y'all I'd love to take her to Chuck E. Cheese's."

              Charles looked at Emily, and I noticed that they were having a silent conversation which got me to wondering; does every married couple do that?

              "Alright. I don't see the harm in it. Y'all have fun." Charles replied which got Amelia jumping for joy.

              I stood and let Amelia drag me to the door. "Here Jo. Take this, I don't want you payin' for the whole thing." Charles said, handing me a twenty.

              I smiled, "Charles, thank you, but please let me do this. It's the last time I'm gonna be able to hang out with her, it's my treat."

              He sighed heavily. "Oh alright. Have fun, let us know if she's any trouble."

              My smile widened. "She's never any trouble. I'll have her back in a little while."

              After I dropped Amelia off back at home I went by the office, grabbed a small box of demos I hadn't gotten around to listening to, and went home. I wasn't feeling up to going back to the office, I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I was going to miss them, but I knew they didn't have a choice. While I was out, I stopped by The Cheesecake Factory and ordered food. As I was sitting there waiting for my phone began to ring. It was Ashley. I ignored it and put my phone back in my purse on silent. I didn't feel like talking to anyone, not Josh, not Mike, and especially not Ashley.

              I got home, poured me a drink and took a long, hot bath. It was relaxing, but it didn't last as long as I really wanted it to because I didn't want to eat cold food. My hair was in a messy bun, the ends slightly damp from the bath and the humidity. I shrugged as I pulled my baggy t-shirt over my head. No one is here to see the hot mess you are. Go pig out, watch a movie and ignore the world for a little while. I thought as I grabbed a pillow and blanket from the bed.

              I was laying on the couch, an old black and white movie playing, the open food containers on the coffee table; my phone began to buzz. I looked at it and noticed it was Josh. I sighed heavily, fighting with myself on whether or not I should answer. Answer the damn phone. He ain't done nothin', just cause you're down, don't take it out on him.               I rolled my eyes and answered. "Hey."

              "Hey. I was beginning to wonder if you were gonna answer."

              "I was thinkin' 'bout it," I replied, taking a sip of my drink.

              "Did I do something?"

              "No. Just a rough day. How was your day?"

              He was quiet for a few seconds before answering. "Not as bad as yours. What happened?"

              "I don't know if it's 'cause I'm just, blah, right now or what. Tell me if you're irritated with me, though." I said, almost throwing the food carton on the table.

              "I'm not irritated at all. Just wish I could be there for you." He replied, sounding hurt.

              "Sorry. Amelia's leavin' in the mornin'. Took all I had not to cry when I dropped her off today. Ash and I are irritated with each other. I don't know, just feel like it's a good time to hide from the world. Take a breather."

              "Why are you two irritated with one another?"