Breaking Shaun (37 page)

I pulled my car into the parking garage attached to Natalie’s apartment building a few minutes later. The past day had gone by so fast. It was hard to believe I was already taking her home. I wasn’t sure I was ready for her to leave yet.

“Well, thanks. I had fun,” Natalie said as she grabbed her bag from my backseat.

I parked my car and watched as she unfastened her seat belt. “Yeah, me, too.”

“Maybe we can do it again sometime,” she said with a seductive smile.

“Asia and Marcus will be gone for a few weeks.”

She laughed as she got out of the car and closed the door behind her. Leaning down to rest her arms in the open window, Natalie gave me a perfect view of her cleavage.

She said, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

We looked at each other in silence for a few seconds.

Natalie straightened her arms and pushed away from the door. “Bye, Shaun.”

“Bye, Killer.”

I knew I needed to be careful around Natalie. The very fact that she didn’t need me, that she didn’t want anything more from me than sex, was only making me want her more.

As fucked-up as it might sound, I’d thought spending an entire day with Natalie would extinguish the fire she set inside me the first time I set eyes on her. I’d thought that once I had her, once the newness faded, I would get tired of her, just like I always did with other women.

But the exact opposite had happened. Seeing the real Natalie starting to emerge and spread her wings only made that fire burn hotter and stronger than ever.

I spent most of Wednesday at the shop ordering more products and making sure things were still running smoothly. Fortunately, Marcus had good employees working for him, considering most of them were teenagers.

Dad called and told me the parts for Natalie’s car had arrived at his house, so we planned to spend the next few days fixing it for her. It was too bad that it was her only means of transportation because I would love to restore it. It was a beautiful car—at least, at one time it was. It would take a lot of time and money though, and I wasn’t sure if Natalie would be willing to give me either.

Just one day away from her, and I was already craving more.

A few of the guys had invited me out for drinks, but for the first time in a while, I’d told them no. Instead, I was sitting in my living room that night, drinking a beer and watching ESPN, as all these thoughts started running through my mind. I was growing tired of the bar scene, especially since I knew how things would end. I would find myself in another woman’s bed, and then I’d have to explain why I didn’t want to stay. It wasn’t worth it, when I had a woman who was more than willing to give me what I wanted with no strings attached. It was funny how I’d spent so much time running from a monogamous relationship, yet here I was being monogamous. But it had nothing to do with fidelity or loyalty. I just saw no point in wasting my time with other women when I’d found one with everything I wanted.

I wondered if Natalie was being monogamous, too, or if she was with someone else at this very moment. That thought had me standing up and pacing my floor. I wasn’t the type of guy to get jealous. Once I was done with a woman, I had no other interest in her, but with Natalie, all of that had changed. I wasn’t done with her, not even close, and the thought of another man touching her or being inside her while she was with me was maddening.

We’d agreed not to get jealous though. After all, this was just sex.

Just sex.

This would all be so much easier if we weren’t friends, too. The lines were blurring already, and it had only been a week. If our situation was going to last, there would have to be more boundaries. The problem was, I didn’t like boundaries, and with Natalie, I didn’t want any. As much as I enjoyed fucking her, I enjoyed being with her, too. It was fun to test her, push her, and see if she’d try things she never thought she would. I wanted to help her experience all of it. I wanted to show her new things and be the one to get her to let go.

I groaned as I ran my hand through my hair, and I threw my empty beer bottle in the trash.
This is not good.

It was Wednesday night, and I was at work. For the first time since I’d started, business was actually slow. Trey said a big concert was going on at the amphitheater, so we’d probably get a crowd after it ended, but I didn’t mind.

Mandy and I were in the back, grabbing stuff we needed to restock the bar.

She asked, “So, how are things with Shaun?”

I shrugged, trying to suppress the smile threatening to expose me, but it was useless.

“That good, huh? So, are you in love yet?”

I laughed to myself and shook my head. “No.”

When we made our way back out to the bar, Mandy started her interrogation. “Well, come on, spill the beans. What did you guys do the last time you saw him? Does he sneak into your room at night, fuck you, and then leave? Does he take you out on dates? Is he good in bed? Come on, Natalie, you have to give me something.”

Mandy followed me, rattling off her questions, until I finally caved.

“He gave me surf lessons.”

Her eyebrows rose, and she looked around the room before leaning in. She whispered, “Is that some new lingo for anal sex or something? I don’t know. I can’t keep up with all the slang these days.”

I burst into a fit of laughter.

Mandy looked around, trying to figure out what was so funny. “What?”

“No, Mandy, it’s not slang. He actually gave me surf lessons.”

“Oh,” she said before laughing at herself. “Well, that was sweet, but please tell me that’s not all you did.”

“That’s not all we did. We spent the entire day together, and he gave me lots of orgasms.”

Her eyes lit up as she moved in closer. “I need more details, girl. Seriously, I haven’t had sex in two months, and I think I’m dying. You gotta help me out here.”

I smiled at her, but I wasn’t really comfortable with sharing the details of my relationship with Shaun. For some reason, it felt like a betrayal. It was like those private moments were just for us, and sharing them with someone else would cheapen them.

“How about we spend less time talking about me and more time figuring out how to get you laid?” I suggested as I cleaned a glass in the sink.

“Sounds good to me!” Trey said, butting into our conversation, as he came to stand beside Mandy.

Mandy curled her lip and looked up at him. “You slept with my sister, Trey. That’s just gross.”

Trey looked up at the ceiling, pretending to think. “Oh yeah. I did, didn’t I?”

Mandy smacked him on the arm, and he started laughing.

“Okay, okay.”

“Do you think your man has any single friends?” Mandy asked me.

I dried my hands with a towel, and I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe. But he’s not my man, and I’m not exactly in the position to set people up.”

She sighed, “Ugh,” before whining, “I guess I’m just destined to be single forever.” She threw her arms onto the bar and put her head down on them.

“What’s wrong with that?” I asked as I tucked my towel into my back pocket.

Mandy rolled her head to the side and scowled at me.

I said, “No, I’m serious. Why does everyone have to get married and have kids? People spend so much time searching for this fantasy that never comes true. They get married to the first guy who asks, and then they end up divorced five years later with nothing to show for it but twenty extra pounds and a broken heart.”

Mandy straightened her back and put her hands on her hips. “Are you telling me you never want to get married? You just want to be fuck buddies with someone forever?”

I shrugged. “Well, why not?”

“Because that’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. Don’t you want a man in your life who loves you? Someone who wants more from you than just sex? Someone you can share your dreams and your fears with? Someone who will be there for you when you fall and will help you pick up the pieces?”

As much as I’d denied it, I did want that. The only problem was, I didn’t believe that kind of love existed because I’d never seen it.

“Does that even exist?” I asked.

Mandy’s eyes got wide, and she opened her mouth to argue.

But I stopped her as I said, “No. Just think about it. Do you know anyone who has that?”

Her mouth snapped shut, and I could see she was thinking about it.

“My grandparents,” she finally answered but seemed unsure.

“Did they really have that? Or did they just grow up in a world where divorce wasn’t an option?”

Mandy narrowed her eyes at me and dropped her hands by her sides. “Okay, stop. You’re crushing my dreams right now.”

I smiled, knowing I’d won. “I’m just saying, maybe you should spend less time looking for Mr. Perfect and spend more time looking for your own fuck buddy.”

Mandy had offered to drive me home after work. Since Red hadn’t been busy, I was more awake than usual, and I knew it would take a few hours for me to fall asleep. Nick was probably already sleeping, so I decided to give her Shaun’s address instead.

When she pulled up to his building, I saw his Jetta parked in his usual spot, and I smiled to myself as she parked next to it.

“Thanks, Mandy,” I said as I grabbed my purse from the floor. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”