Borrowed Magic (16 page)

It did, however, give her a few precious
moments alone.

She pulled her knees to her chest and
wrapped her arms around them, tossing aside another book that
hadn’t give her answers. Kern had left an hour earlier to ride with
Daric, and she’d retreated to her father’s study, just like she did
everyday during their ride. In another hour he’d be back and he’d
find her and everything would start all over again. But for now she
was alone.

“Maren?”

Her head snapped around and she jumped to
her feet. Too quickly. She swayed for a second before grabbing the
back of her chair for support.

“I’m sorry I startled you.” Philip took
another step into the room and paused, as if he were unsure of how
to proceed. “Could we talk?”

Her eyes shifted to the open door, to
Philip, and then back again. She didn’t know what to do. Maybe this
was the answer she was looking for. Kern was gone – at least for
now. But if he found out… She swallowed hard. It would be worth it
if she could convince Philip of the truth. Even if Kern killed her,
someone else would know.

“Shut the door.”

He did as she asked before walking over to
take the chair opposite hers. He rested his elbows on his knees and
clasped his hands together, head bowed.

Finally he raised his face to hers. “I want
to know what’s wrong. Not that you’re dying. I already know that. I
want to know what else is going on.”

She wanted to tell him. She wanted him to
know the truth, to trust her, to help her find some way to defeat
Kern. But he was under a spell, and she didn’t have the ring to
show him the truth. Maybe, because he cared about her, he could
overcome the spell. But fear still made her hesitate.

“Please, Maren,” he begged and reached for
her hand. “Three weeks ago you told me you were afraid. I could see
it in your eyes. You said you were going to tell me the truth.” He
ran a hand over his face. “You kissed me. Then you collapsed and
nothing’s been the same since.”

There was so much pain in his voice she
couldn’t hold back a tear that ran down the side of her cheek.

He reached up and wiped it away. “I want to
know what happened. If you choose him, that’s…fine. He cares about
you. But I think I deserve an explanation.”

Fear rushed through her even stronger. She
couldn’t do this. She couldn’t bear Kern’s punishment if he found
out. “Philip, I…I’m sorry.” She managed to get to her feet, needing
to get away from him before Kern came back. She took a few shaky
steps towards the door and then stumbled over a book lying on the
floor.

Philip’s arm was around her in a second,
holding her fast, and she couldn’t hold back her tears any longer.
They covered her cheeks and blinded her vision until she had no
choice but to let Philip hold her. For the first time in weeks she
felt almost safe.

A few minutes later, he led her back to a
chair and resumed his previous seat. “I want to know why you’re
getting weaker, why you’re a ghost of your former self. I want to
know why your eyes are sunken, why you jump at the smallest
sound.”

She hadn’t realized he’d noticed so much. Or
that there was so much to notice.

“And don’t tell me it’s just because you’re
dying,” he continued. “I know there’s something else. You’re
scared. I can see it in your eyes.” He took her hands again.
“Maren, let me help you. If not me, then let Daric or Adare help
you. It’s time for the truth. Whatever the truth is.”

She hesitated. “It’s too dangerous.”

“You think I care?” He threw his hands in
the air. “I’ve been in danger before. And if whatever you’re hiding
puts people in danger, then you’re already in danger. Tell me,” he
insisted. “Maybe it’s not as bad as you think.”

It was probably worse, but he was here,
offering the help she’d desperately wanted. So she took a deep
breath and started with the part that concerned him the most.
“Daric is in danger. Someone is going to try to kill him and take
over the kingdom.”

Philip’s mouth hardened into a line.
“Who?”

“I can’t—” She buried her face in her hands.
“He’ll hurt the people I care about if I say anything.”

“Daric?” Philip asked and Maren nodded. “Who
else?”

“Adare.”

“I can keep Adare safe. But if I also need
to keep Daric safe, you need to tell me everything you know.”

“Your—” No, that would be too much to throw
at him. She wouldn’t have believed it herself if she hadn’t seen
Kern with her own eyes. And Philip thought he’d already killed his
father. “Lord Teige isn’t who he pretends to be.”

His eyes went wide, and then his expression
hardened. “You’re blaming this on Teige?” He laughed, a cruel bark
that made her hope fade. “You’re not serious? You’re playing some
kind of malicious joke, toying with my emotions?”

“No.” She leaned forward and grabbed his
hand. “I would never do that. Teige wants Daric dead.”

He pulled his hand away. “You do realize
you’re accusing the man who is growing to love you, who you seem to
care about, of treason?”

“I don’t care about him. He’s forcing me to
be with him. He’s hurting me.”

Anger flashed across his face, but it soon
turned to pity. “Maren, I know Teige as well as anyone. He’s not
cruel. And he’s not a traitor.”

“But you don’t know him,” she cried, knowing
he wouldn’t believe her, that he was under the same spell as
everyone else. “It’s all a façade. There is no Lord Teige. He’s
really—”

“I don’t want to hear any more of this,” he
said. “Teige is my best friend. He helped save Tredare. Why would
he do that if he wanted to kill the king?”

“To gain your trust. To make it easier for
him to get close to Daric.”

He closed his eyes and let out a long
breath. When he opened them again, all she saw was emptiness,
regret, maybe even heartache. As if he’d lost something dear to him
and knew he could never have it back. “Maren, I think that injury
has done more harm than you know. You’re not thinking clearly.
You’re imagining things that aren’t there. Your fears aren’t
real.”

“No.” She was close to hysteria now. “I’m
not imagining it. Please, Philip, you have to believe me. You have
to trust me.”

“I want to trust you, but you’re not
yourself. I have to trust what I know, and I know Teige.”

He dropped her hands and walked to the door,
letting it silently shut behind him.

She stared in despair. Her one hope – to
convince Philip of the truth and enlist his help – was gone. She
was alone, without strength, without hope, and dying.

“That wasn’t the wisest decision you’ve ever
made.”

She spun around. Kern stood there, a look on
his face that could have turned her heart to ice. How much had he
heard? How had he even gotten in the room when the only door was
behind her?

She backed away but didn’t get far before
she couldn’t move through the pain, and she fell to her knees.

“So Philip didn’t believe the truth?” His
cruel laugh pierced her. “I’ve played my part too well. And you’ve
played yours.”

Which she already knew.

“But
we had an agreement, Maren. You didn’t tell anyone, and I
didn’t hurt Adare. You broke that agreement.”

She pushed herself off the floor. “Please,
don’t hurt her. I’ll do anything.”

An evil gleam entered his eye. “All right. I
won’t hurt Adare. But you deserve some kind of punishment, and
there’s something I’ve wanted to try for a while now.”

She braced for the pain, but it didn’t come
in the way she expected. Instead of the searing heat or the deep
ache, her back arched as if something had hit her with enough force
to knock her off her feet. Then it was gone. For a second, she
thought that was going to be it, but then she felt a strange
sensation. It was as if whatever hit her had pierced her skin and
was now working its way up her spine. And although it wasn’t
painful, it was horrible in its own right.

It felt like hundreds of spiders were
crawling up her back. She reached around with her hand, but there
was nothing there. She stood still until she couldn’t bear it
anymore and then twisted, trying to get it off, to get it out.
Nothing worked and the tingling continued higher, past her waist,
her shoulder blades, her shoulders, and up the back of her neck.
For a brief second, it paused and Kern smiled. She knew that
whatever was coming, it’s what he’d been waiting for, and it would
be horrible.

The tendrils of magic began to move again.
Only this time they didn’t move up, they moved in, invading her
brain, weaving their way through until she thought she might go
mad. She could feel her control being taken as the tendrils brushed
against her memories and everything that made her who she was.

She stumbled across the floor and grabbed
Kern’s tunic with both hands. “Please, don’t. I’m doing what you
want. I won’t say another word to anyone. Please.”

She felt the slightest pressure in her head
and then didn’t know what she was saying anymore, what she was
begging for. She barely remembered who she was. She spun around,
searching for something familiar, something that would tell her
what was going on, why it felt like the world was closing in on
her, but everything was getting dark. She kept searching – until
she saw Kern through the haze.

And then she remembered one thing: Kern was
hurting her.

She backed away, her arms held out in front
of her, until she was against the wall with nowhere else to go.
Kern watched her with curiosity, but he didn’t move. Then his eyes
met hers. There was another pulse of pressure in her head, and the
next moment, what little of the room she could still see swam
before her eyes. Her body pitched forward and hit the floor,
causing every part of her to scream with pain. She knew she’d felt
that pain before and that Kern was the cause.

She tried to lift her head but was too
dizzy. Instead, she curled into a ball and closed her eyes, wishing
she knew what was happening.

“Had enough?”

His voice, uncomfortably familiar, brought
fear for reasons she didn’t fully recognize. “I don’t understand
what’s happening.”

“I’ve taken the last thing you could call
your own, your free will, your memories of who you are.” He pulled
her to her feet where she swayed again, but this time he held her
steady.

“Why?” Her voice was barely audible.

“Because we had a deal and you broke it.” He
shrugged. “And because I wanted to see if I could.”

She gasped as more pressure coursed through
her head, only this time it receded, and she was no longer dizzy.
Her head throbbed, but it was distant and more uncomfortable than
painful. And then the memories flooded back. They were clear and
real – except for the past few minutes. For she remembered that
too. Only it was hazy, as if she were someone watching from the
outside. But as the reality of what had happened sank in, she was
horrified. Her eyes flew open but the world looked different. It
wasn’t as dark as it had been a few minutes ago, but it was blurry,
like peering through a dirty window. Kern stared down at her,
waiting. Realizing she was still in his arms, she struggled to
break free, finally falling to a heap on the floor.

“Please,” she begged. “Don’t do this.” If
she’d felt like she was losing herself before, now she felt as if
she was already lost. Kern would control her completely. She
wouldn’t even have the ability to think, to care, to feel…
“Please.” She didn’t have a shred of pride left. She would beg. She
would do anything. “Kill me. I’m dying anyway.”

He just laughed. “That would be too easy.
Besides, I think you’re going to be even more useful than I
imagined.”

The magic shot up her back again, and she
grabbed her head with her hands. “No, no, no, no, no…” She didn’t
understand the tears on her cheeks. She didn’t understand why she
was lying on the floor. She didn’t understand—

“Maren.”

A man stood a few feet away. Kern. She
didn’t like Kern. He hurt her.

“Maren, come over here.”

Something inside her rebelled, but it wasn’t
strong enough to drown out his commands. She climbed to her feet,
ignoring the pain that made her movements agony, and crossed the
small space between them.

“Good girl.” He straightened his tunic, and
walked to the door. He opened it and glanced back.

There was a strange sensation in her head
and then…

“No,” she cried in horror as she realized
what had just happened – again.

“Yes, Maren. You’re mine now.”

The door shut behind him and she was left
alone. She couldn’t even find the energy to cry. She just sat there
and let despair wash over her.

When she finally
left her father’s study, it was dark. Which didn’t really matter.
Everything was dark now, and not just figuratively. The feeling of
looking through haze hadn’t left. It was probably permanent, just
like the pain that never receded once it took hold.

She crept along the hall to her room,
frequently stopping to find her balance. Twice now, she’d tripped
over the edge of a rug. As she stumbled a third time, she reached
for a nearby table and knocked a vase to the floor. It shattered
and the sound reverberated off the marble walls. She heard someone
behind her and tried to hurry. Her room was only a few doors
away.

“Maren?”

Kira. Definitely not who she wanted to see
right now. “I’m fine.” She put a hand against the wall for support
but didn’t turn around. “I lost my way in the dark and knocked over
a vase.” She took another step forward and almost fell.

“Maren, you’re not all right.” Surprisingly,
Kira grabbed her arm until she was steady again.

“Thank you.” She tried to pull away but Kira
didn’t let go.

“Maren.” She hesitated and looked up and
down the hall. “Let me help you. You really don’t look good.”