Borrowed Magic (13 page)

“How is it different?” he demanded.

“It just is. This is
something no one would believe, that no one
could
believe
.
I can’t explain any more than that
here.” She looked up at him, trying to show that she wasn’t angry,
wasn’t spiting him with what happened in the past. “We need to go
somewhere more private, where no one can find us. Then, hopefully,
you’ll understand.”

His mouth tightened, and he looked as if he
were trying very hard to think before he spoke. “All right, I
promise to believe anything you tell me, but I need to know.
Now.”

“You can’t tell anyone. Not even Daric or
Adare. Not yet.”

“You’re really afraid, aren’t you?”

She nodded and he reached for her hand.

“Look, Teige. We’re in luck.”

Daric’s voice registered just as the pain
trickled down her arm and she spun around.

But the faces that greeted her weren’t the
ones she expected. Instead of Daric and Teige, she saw Daric
and—

She staggered backwards until Philip’s arm
encircled her waist, holding her steady. Daric was at her other
side in an instant.

“Maren, are you ill?”

Mutely, she shook her head and stepped out
of Philip’s arm.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, her voice shaking.
“I wasn’t expecting…you startled me.”

She cast a fleeting glance at the man who
should have been Teige as he stepped from the shadows where two
hallways met, and her mind flew back three years.

She pressed her eyes
closed, realizing the magical façade of the castle went even
further than she’d thought, that it wasn’t just objects that were
affected but people. One person. She forced her eyes back open,
hoping it had all been in her imagination. It hadn’t, and she was
paralyzed with fear. She wanted nothing more than to flee,
desperation clogging her throat and lungs. But she couldn’t fall
apart here, in front of
him.
Then he’d know she’d discovered the truth.
He’d…her knees buckled and Philip and Daric were beside her
again.

“Let’s get her to her room. Something’s
obviously wrong.” Daric’s voice sounded far away, but it brought a
little sense back.

“No,” she managed. “No, truly I’ll be all
right once I lay down. I haven’t felt well all day.”

Daric’s gaze shifted to Philip.

His eyes met hers. She tried to communicate
her fear, to ask him to be careful.

“I was just trying to convince her to go to
bed. She’s overwrought. Something’s upset her, and I was trying to
discover what had happened.”

“It’s really nothing,” Maren insisted,
trying to reassure all three men. Philip wasn’t buying any of it.
Daric looked only marginally convinced. And the man who had kept
his distance, who now stood with arms folded across his chest
leaning nonchalantly against the wall, looked as if he understood
all too well. His eyes were narrowed and one corner of his mouth
lifted the tiniest bit, as if he was enjoying a joke at her
expense.

As he met her gaze, however, he shrugged
away from the wall. “Why don’t we let Lady Maren get some rest?
It’s obvious she doesn’t want to tell us what has upset her.”

She should have been grateful. Instead, his
words slipped over her like venom.

“Thank you…My Lord. I’m sure I’ll be fine
tomorrow.” She nodded to all three men, ignored Philip’s stubborn
look, and walked the few yards to her room, all the while feeling
three sets of eyes watching her.

As soon as the door was
closed, any strength she had left dissolved.
He
suspected something. She could
feel it. And she could still see his half smiling face taunting
her, just like it had everyday for the past three years. Only then
he wasn’t here with her, in the castle, where she would see him,
have to be polite, act as if he wasn’t what he was. She stumbled
towards the bed but only made it a few steps before collapsing in a
heap on the floor.

Only one image played through her head. The
same face over and over. Kern, trying to kill her three years ago,
laughing at her in the hall just now, close friend to the two men
she loved most. Terror overwhelmed her and she succumbed to the
wracking sobs that had been threatening all day.

Thirteen

Maren had
decided to wear the ring. She’d debated it back and forth all night
as she fought against sleep. In the end, even if it was harder to
face, she wanted to see the world as it was. She wanted to see
Kern, to not forget exactly what he was.

She didn’t think he knew with absolute
certainty that she’d discovered his secret, but he suspected
something. He’d be watching her. And unless he was incredibly
unobservant, which she didn’t think he was, he’d also be watching
Philip.

But Philip needed to know the truth. He
might be able to help her. He had position. And more than anything
else, he might be able to persuade Daric. Maybe. At least someone
else would know.

She stepped outside a few minutes later, and
Philip was immediately by her side, offering his arm. She didn’t
take it. Teige, no, Kern, would be somewhere close, watching her.
Philip frowned, but stayed at her side.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” he said as they
walked towards the horses. He didn’t bother to hide his anxious
frustration – or his hurt – and she had to stop herself from
telling him everything right then. “I barely slept last night. I
was too worried about you.”

She glanced sideways to see Kern engaged in
conversation with Daric. “I’m better this morning.”

He grabbed her arm and pulled her to a stop.
“You’re still afraid. I can see it in your eyes.”

“Not now,” she whispered, throwing another
glance Kern’s direction. “Stay away from me today. Act like nothing
happened last night. Meet me in the clearing at midnight.”

He threw his hands up in frustration and
looked like he wanted nothing more than to drag her away and force
the truth out of her, but then Kern was there, taking her hand and
bowing over it.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything?”

She got a better look at him than she had
the night before. In appearance, he was very like Philip. More so
than she’d remembered. Same dark hair, same build, same strong
jawline. And like his son, he was remarkably handsome, somehow not
looking a day over 35. But their eyes were different. Philip’s were
kind. Kern’s were full of shadow and darkness and reminded her of
just what he could do – what he had done.

“Not at all,” she managed and pulled her
hand away.

“I hope you’re feeling better.” Kern was all
consideration. If it were Teige’s face she saw, she might have even
believed it was sincere.

“Yes, I’m much better.” She forced a polite
smile. Hopefully it was enough to convince him nothing was
different, that she hadn’t guessed the truth, that she wasn’t so
afraid it took everything she had to look him in the eye. “I must
apologize for last night. I’ve never been more embarrassed.”

“Perfectly understandable.” Kern smiled. As
before, on Teige maybe it would have looked genuine. On Kern it hid
something more sinister. His eyes lingered on her for another
moment before giving her a small bow and mounting his horse.

A few minutes later, she shifted into a more
comfortable position in her saddle. A picnic was the last
distraction she needed today. Still, her first real ride in years
was invigorating, feeling the wind in her hair and the freedom that
had been so scarce for so long. But Kern was a dark shadow
diminishing her enjoyment. And although he hadn’t bothered her
during their ride, staying mostly around Daric and Adare, she felt
his eyes following her.

She shuddered.

“They do make a disgusting picture, don’t
they?” Kern’s voice, as well as the pain his presence invoked, was
unexpected, and she jerked on the reins so hard the horse came to a
stop. She nudged the animal back to a walk. “I have no idea what
you’re talking about.”

He nodded his head towards Philip – and
Kira.

“Oh.” She tried to sound uninterested. “I
hadn’t noticed.”

He laughed. “The scowl on your face says
otherwise.”

Which only made her frown again. “Not that
it’s any of your business, but my thoughts were elsewhere.”

He smiled in a way that made her want to hit
him, and she spurred her horse to a canter, hoping he wouldn’t
follow. She needed space to breathe. She couldn’t keep up the
appearance of calm much longer, but neither could she give herself
away. She needed to talk to Philip. She needed him to see the
truth. She needed to not be alone.

She spent the rest of the
ride in silence, staying close to Daric and Adare and hoping Kern
would get the hint that she didn’t want to speak to him. When they
arrived at the spot Daric had chosen for the picnic, everyone
dismounted and she was able to busy herself with setting out the
food.
Then she planted herself next to
Daric and Adare instead of settling for somewhere less conspicuous
like she normally would. It also put her close to Philip, who had
somehow maneuvered himself away from Kira. She glanced his
direction and caught his eye for a fraction of a second. Even that
scared her. Anyone with enough sense to look closely, which Kern
definitely had, might see more than she’d like.

The next hour was spent avoiding Philip,
avoiding Kern, and generally avoiding anything but the plate in
front of her. Her only slip was when Philip handed her a plate of
strawberries. He brushed his hand against hers and smiled. The next
second he’d gone back to his conversation with Daric, but she’d let
her guard down. And Kern had seen. He raised his glass to her in a
silent toast.

Maren’s heart thundered and she took a few
deep breaths, losing any control she might have had. Trying to hide
the truth from Kern, who she knew was testing to see how much she
suspected, was hard enough. Hiding the physical pain she was in
only made it worse.

She leaned back against the tree they had
all gathered under and closed her eyes. Then nothing could pass
between her and Philip, she couldn’t see Kern, and maybe for a
minute she could actually feel normal…

“Lady Maren?”

She blinked, adjusting to the light and
trying to discover who had called her.

“I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

This time she knew exactly who it was and
fought against the all-too-familiar panic. She needed to remain
calm. Even if Kern suspected, he couldn’t know unless she gave
herself away.

“Yes, but that’s all right. I didn’t even
realize I’d fallen asleep.” She looked around, searching for an
escape, but she and Kern were alone. Adare was on the other side of
the clearing with Daric. Philip was being dragged towards the lake
by Kira. Everyone else had scattered.

Kern laughed. “You’re stuck with me. Which,
I can assure you, I don’t have any problem with.”

She glared at him and tried to stand, but he
grabbed her arm and she gasped.

“I’m afraid I can’t let you go until I get
some answers.”

She attempted to pull her arm away but he
held firm, leaving her only two options. Either fight him and
attempt to escape, or stay. The first option would only draw
attention and possibly alert Kern to the fact that her “dislike”
was more in the nature of paralyzing fear. She folded her arms
across her chest and looked over his shoulder, desperately hoping
his questions would be more harmless than he’d made it sound.

“I want to know what happened between you
and Philip three years ago.”

She looked away again. “I don’t know what
you’re talking about.”

“Well,” he ran a finger along his jaw, “as
far as I can tell, you were best friends growing up and everyone
thought you’d marry. Now it’s like watching two strangers. Why is
that?”

“People change. Things change.” She took a
deep breath. “That’s all I’m going to say. If you want more
information, ask Philip. He’s your best friend.”

“Yes, he is. And I have asked him. He won’t
say any more than you.” Kern frowned. “All right, a different
question then. Philip’s let slip a few comments that make me wonder
about his relationship with his parents. They didn’t seem to be
close.”

Maren wanted to slap him. Philip loved his
parents, his true parents. “Again, you should be asking Philip. If
he doesn’t choose to tell you, then it’s really none of your
business.”

A brief flash of annoyance crossed his
features. “As his best friend, I think it’s very much my business.
Something is bothering him, and I’m trying to discover what it is.
I just want to help him.”

Maren didn’t know whether to believe that or
not. Kern was, after all, Philip’s father. Maybe there was some
feeling there, underneath the darkness.

Kern scooted closer and placed his hand next
to hers on the ground. Their fingers almost touched, and she could
feel the ache in her shoulder start to burn again.

“You’re the only one who can help.”

His warm breath brushed the side of her
face, and her eyes flew to his, scared that at any minute he’d
finish what he’d started three years ago.

The only thing she seemed capable of doing
was thinking one thing over and over: She had to protect herself.
She had to survive.

“Maren, I don’t want to hurt Philip. I just
want to understand him better.”

She had to protect herself. She had to
survive.

“You can help me do that. You knew him
growing up. You knew his parents.”

Protect herself. Survive.

“Please, Maren.”

She had to protect herself. She had to— Her
shoulder burst into pain and she swallowed the cry in her throat,
terrified he’d see her fear, that he would know she could see
through his spells, that he’d kill her.