Borrowed Magic (15 page)

A wave of revulsion spread through her.

“Of course, at first I’ll be reluctant to
pursue you. I don’t want to come between my friend and the woman he
loves. But when you push Philip away, and he realizes it’s over, do
you think he won’t do the noble thing and step aside? And when I
kill Daric, do you think Philip won’t support his best friend when
he’s chosen as the next king? And once I’m king and I name Philip
my successor, do you think I won’t be able to take that anger he’s
bottled up inside and turn it into something else? You see Maren,
if I were to just take the kingdom now, you’re right, Philip would
object. But with Daric gone, and you having betrayed him,
well…everything works out perfectly. In fact, adding you into the
mix makes my plan even better. I just need a little more time to
move all the pieces into place.”

“So…” Kern hovered over her and the pain was
back, deeper like before, just as excruciating, but not as intense,
not enough to kill her. “Do you agree to keep quiet if I promise
not to kill the queen?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “Just don’t hurt me
anymore.”

Kern’s eyes widened. “But that wasn’t the
agreement. Our bargain was that I wouldn’t hurt Adare – not
you.”

A weak, anguished cry escaped her
throat.

“Consider carefully, Maren. Either way,
you’re going to suffer. One way, you can save your friend.” He
paused. “Do you agree?”

She closed her eyes and nodded, hating
herself, hating what she was agreeing to, and for the first time
feeling utter despair for the future. How could she do anything if
he kept her like this? How could she prevent Daric’s death, Kern
becoming king, or the destruction of everything she loved? And how
could she live with herself if she chose Adare over the kingdom?
But what other choice did she have right now?

Kern’s arms went around her, lifting her
from the ground. She tried to struggle but he was much too strong
and she had no strength left. Only pain.

And she couldn’t take it anymore. She closed
her eyes and drifted to a place where feeling was nonexistent.

Fifteen

Maren heard
voices before she even opened her eyes. She couldn’t quite tell
what they said, but they sounded concerned. She wanted to reassure
them, tell them they didn’t need to worry, but she couldn’t forget
what had happened.

She finally opened her eyes to see her own
bedroom. Daric, Adare, and Philip stood at the bottom of her bed in
deep conversation. They hadn’t noticed she was awake yet. She
closed her eyes again, relishing in the absence of pain. No, that
wasn’t true. She was in a considerable amount of pain, but compared
to what it had been, it was a relief.

“Maren?”

“Maren?” Adare asked again. “Are you
awake?”

She forced her eyes open. “Yes. What
happened?”

Adare glanced to where Kern stood. “Lord
Teige found you unconscious in your father’s library.”

Not the gardens. Then
Philip might wonder if she
was
coming to meet him. Maren’s eyes met Kern’s.
There was a glint of laughter in them, as if he’d gotten exactly
what he wanted. Pain shot up her arm. A reminder.

Adare sat on the bed beside her and took her
other hand. “Maren, why didn’t you tell me you were dying?”

She glanced towards Philip, who met her eyes
with an intensity she had to look away from. He wanted to talk to
her, to finish the conversation they’d started that day in the hall
and now never would. At least he didn’t hate her – yet. He probably
thought she didn’t meet him because she was lying unconscious on
the library floor. She forced her eyes back to Adare. “There was
nothing you could do. I didn’t want you to worry.”

“So instead you collapse and I’m worried. If
Philip hadn’t told me the truth, I’d be sending for every mage I
could find.”

“They couldn’t do anything either.”

Adare squeezed her hand. “But how do you
know? We should at least try.”

Maren felt the pressure on her other hand
and met Kern’s eyes, which were full of warning. “No, Adare. They
couldn’t even heal the injury. You think they can prevent it from
spreading?”

Daric took Adare’s place at her side. His
concern was enough to bring tears to her eyes. “Please, Maren. Let
us do something.”

She shook her head and avoided looking at
him. She couldn’t, not knowing what Kern wanted and which she was
no longer convinced she had the strength to stop. “Daric, Kern was
the most powerful mage in memory. Do you really think there’s
anyone who could stop his magic?” His head bowed. “It’s all right,”
she lied. “I’ll be all right.”

Daric bent and kissed Maren’s cheek, as did
Adare. “We’ll talk about it later,” she said.

Kern stood too. But before he followed the
others, he came to stand beside the bed. “I hope you feel better
soon.” His words were belied by the sting in her shoulder. A little
reminder of the power he held over her. She fought back another
wave of nausea.

But the reminder served her well when Philip
placed his hand over hers a moment later. “I’m sorry,” he
whispered, barely loud enough for her to hear. “I thought…when you
didn’t come…” He squeezed his eyes closed. “I should have known
something was wrong.”

He was worried for her. He cared.

Which only broke her heart all over again.
Something she hadn’t thought was possible.

Maren opened her
eyes to see a man sitting on the chair next to her bed. She
unconsciously scooted further away, thinking it was Kern. It had
been three days since she’d collapsed. She’d had visitors, mostly
Adare and Daric, but occasionally Philip and Kern had come too. She
dreaded those visits the most. They were full of her own fear,
Philip’s frustration, and Kern’s enjoyment.

“Maren, it’s only me.”

Now that she bothered to notice, she could
see that Daric didn’t look well. His eyes were red, and there were
shadows underneath them.

She relaxed back onto her pillows. “You
don’t look so good.”

He laughed, kind of. “I don’t feel
good.”

“Are you ill? Have you seen the
doctors?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I’m not sick.”

Worry grabbed her heart. “Is it Adare? Is it
Philip? Is it—”

“Everyone’s fine.” Daric sighed and leaned
forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “It’s you, Maren. You’re
not all right.” He dropped his head into his hands. “And it’s my
fault.”

She climbed out from under her blankets and
sat on the side of the bed across from Daric. “No, it’s no one’s
fault except Kern’s.”

“You told me your injury was getting worse
but not that you were dying?”

Of course he still couldn’t see that all of
it was because of the man he knew as Teige. Kern’s magic wouldn’t
allow it. “For the same reason I didn’t tell Adare. There was
nothing you could do and I didn’t want you to worry.” She met his
eyes. “Or blame yourself.”

He groaned. “I do blame myself. You were
trying to save my son.”

“And I volunteered. I knew exactly what I
was doing. And I knew the risks.”

He remained silent for a moment. “Yes, you
knew the risks. You’d just seen your father murdered. And Philip
had left.”

She shifted uncomfortably.

“I know you volunteered because you thought
you had nothing to lose. I know how your father’s death affected
you – especially after Philip disappeared.”

“I still made my own decision.”

“Yes, but it was motivated by loss. I knew
that. I knew why…” He paused. “I shouldn’t have let you make that
decision under those circumstances. I took advantage of your
heartache. Yes, you volunteered, but I let you. I wanted to save my
son.”

She leaned forward and took his hands. “I
won’t let you take the blame. I would have made the same decision
even without those other things. I would have tried to save him no
matter what. Having nothing to lose just made it easier.”

He sat back and crossed his arms over his
chest. “I’d like to believe that.”

“You can.”

“Either way, I still feel guilty. It was me
who didn’t kill Kern when I had the chance. It was me who wanted
him to suffer, who trapped him for eternity instead of ending his
life.”

“You couldn’t have known he’d escape. You
couldn’t—”

“Maren.” He managed a small smile. “It’s all
right. I’m the king. I deal with the consequences of my actions all
the time. I thought I’d dealt with this one. After my father was
murdered, I got revenge on Kern. Since then, the only person I’ve
lost who was truly close to me was my son. I don’t want to lose you
too.”

Tears pooled in her eyes and slid down her
cheeks. She’d loved relatively few people in her life: her father
and mother, Philip, Adare, and Daric. Her parents were already
gone. Now she was losing everyone else. And unless she could find a
way to stop Kern, she was going to be forced to watch Daric die, a
possibility that was becoming more and more certain. She choked
back a sob.

Daric’s arms were around her in a second.
“I’ve watched you grow from the time you were little. I remember
when you were born. I was seven years old and my mother made me
take a gift.” He laughed. “Not highest on the list of things a boy
my age wanted to do. As you grew up, I noticed you. So quiet, so
apart from the other girls. But I could see then what I see now:
You are brave and strong and beautiful.”

She wasn’t brave or strong, not now.
Instead, she’d shut herself in her room, hoping to avoid Kern.

“You were the first person to befriend
Adare, to see her inner beauty and kindness. That act alone means
more to me than you’ll ever know. And then you risked your life to
save my son.”

He took her face between his hands,
apparently not caring about the tears she couldn’t hold back.
“Maren, you are part of my family. Not by blood, but by something
more. I can never repay you for what you’ve done. I can only thank
you. I am a king. I have to be strong for the people. That doesn’t
mean I always am. I worry. I doubt. But some things I am sure of.
One of them is love.” He paused and gave her a sad smile before his
arms encircled her again. “I love you, Maren. Not like I love
Adare, but love still the same. If there’s anything I can do, I beg
you to let me do it.”

It wasn’t fair. Daric couldn’t die. She
couldn’t help it happen, or even sit back and let it happen. There
must be a way to stop Kern. He must have some weakness. And in that
moment, she vowed to fight, to do everything she could to save
Daric. She would deal with the pain Kern inflicted. She would find
a way to stop him. She would save Adare, Philip, and Daric. She
would—

Warmth spread through her shoulder, just as
it had the day at the lake, and then the pain was gone. Her body
sagged in relief but also surprise. She’d used Kern’s magic again.
She still didn’t know how, but maybe she’d found a way to keep the
pain at bay.

She pulled out of Daric’s arms. “I love you
too, Daric. Everything is going to be all right.”

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead.
“Maybe. Eventually. For now, we just have to muddle through.” He
stood and walked to the door.

Possibilities swam through her head. Maybe
if she could make it through whatever tortures Kern had planned,
she could use his magic to push back enough that she could fight
for a solution where no one but Kern had to die. But she had to be
careful. Kern had sensed the use of his magic before. And she still
didn’t know what made her draw on it. She’d just have to figure it
out.

She almost felt hopeful, until Kern walked
into the room – alone. He took one look at her red eyes and
tear-stained cheeks and his face turned to stone.

“What did you tell Daric?”

Fear began to take hold, but she pushed it
back. “Nothing. We were just talking about the past.”

He stared at her as if his glance alone
could force the truth from her. It probably could.

“You’d better not be lying to me.” He
stepped in her direction and the pain began again.

She gasped as it progressed through her
body. “I’m not. I promise.”

He crossed to stand by the side of her bed
and the pain exploded.

Losing her newfound strength, she tried to
think of Daric. She tried to focus on defeating Kern, but nothing
worked. “Please,” she cried. “I didn’t say anything.”

He ran a finger along her cheek and the pain
subsided. “I believe you.” Then he took the seat just vacated by
Daric.

She turned her back to him and buried her
face in her hands.

Sixteen

Kern was rarely
far away, and he never allowed her to forget the power he had over
her. She’d tried to fight, to avoid him, but paid for it in ways
that left her on the floor gasping for breath. So she did what he
wanted, and it was bearable. At least as far as the physical pain
went. The emotional pain was another story.

Philip was angry. He’d tried to talk to her
so many times she’d lost count, and every time she evaded it with
pathetic excuses because Kern was right there, watching. And what
Kern had predicted was coming true with horrible accuracy. She did
seek him out when the pain got too bad. She did push Philip away.
People began to whisper behind her back. Worst of all, Philip had
noticed. She couldn’t bear to see the misery in his eyes, but it
was the only way – at least right now.

She was going to find a way to stop Kern.
Even if she had to pretend to be his puppet.

She just had no idea what it was. She’d
already spent all her spare time during the siege looking. And had
come up empty. She needed help. Only no one would believe her.

And time would eventually run out.

Already, Kern had integrated himself into
Daric’s inner circle. He knew everything about the events in the
kingdom, even planned half of them. Daric consulted him on
important decisions. There was nothing Kern wasn’t privy to, no
secrets, nothing preventing him from being where Daric was at any
given time or giving him every opportunity to strike when the time
was right.