Billow (44 page)

"Yes. Naida had very strong ideas on how to raise you. She insisted you not know about your family or life in Haverleau until it was time." She paused. "I highly disagreed with her education methods. But I believe it was her own way of protecting you."

I stared, reliving the memories of the person I used to be.

The last photo was taken about a year ago on Christmas. After a modest holiday dinner with my foster parents, I'd gone off to be alone.

I'd spent Christmas night aimlessly wandering through San Aurelio, looking at the displays and lights families put outside their home. The photo showed me walking down a street with shoulders hunched.

"You once accused me of not knowing you," Rhian said quietly. "And it's true. I didn't know you well. But I watched you grow up. Watched Naida push you, driven in her desire to protect your future. Help you in the best way she knew how."

Something slipped into place. "She gave you that letter. The one telling me to come here."

"She came to me three years ago with instructions on delivering it. A year and a half later, she contacted Prince Belicoux and made arrangements." Rhian turned to look out the window. Her profile was haunted. "When he told me what she said, I knew what would happen."

Suspended silence hung between us. A moment of shared grief over the complexity that was Naida Irisavie.

"Tell me," I said softly. "Please."

She walked back to the chair across from me.

"One of the first important visions Naida had foretold the coming of the
sondaleur
." Her tone was pinched. "Because of it, we suspected she might be the one to bring the
sondaleur
into the world."

Fingers brushed against a page of photos highlighting my eleventh birthday.

"How did she end up at the hospital?"

She leaned back and the rigid posture softened. "Her protection became a high priority. When she expressed a desire to better control her visions, I wanted to keep her at the Governing House. But others, including Naida, thought it would be safer to seclude her outside of Haverleau. We concocted a simple lie, one we thought would be of little consequence. We used her reputation and expanded upon it."

It made everyone believe Naida's own mother locked her up in a psych ward. And while the room she stayed in was similar to a cell, she wasn't a prisoner.

Not in any way.

She was protecting herself, the possible mother of the
sondaleur
. She was protecting Haverleau.

"When she became pregnant, she was overjoyed."

That wasn't what bothered me.

"What changed?"

"A few months after Naida returned to Haverleau, her nightmares started up again," she said. "She began asking questions. Sought guidance from Jourdain."

"Is that why she went Rogue?"

"Naida believed her dreams meant the Shadow knew you were the
sondaleur
."

His words in the basement echoed.

I've watched you. Your entire life.

A disturbing sensation creeped up my spine and the hair on my arms stood up.

"She was frightened. Paranoid. Not only for your safety, but for everyone in Haverleau. She and Ansel believed they had a better chance protecting and raising you out in the human world."

Weariness lined her face. "I didn't want her to go. Didn't want my daughter and only grandchild…." She stopped. "But we decided to go through with it."

It was the right choice. My return to Haverleau had precipitated radical attacks against the community. It would've been worse if we'd stayed.

"Marcella didn't know about any of it."

Pain glittered in her eyes. "Marcella was only a child when everything happened. I hoped I could do my best by her. That one of my daughters would not have to sacrifice so much."

But Marcella had sacrificed. Just as my mother had. As Rhian had.

Without the past, there is no present.

Finally, the truth about the Irisavie women.

"Why are you showing me this?" I glanced at her. "Why now?"

My iron grandmother didn't meet my gaze. Eyes drifted to her hands.

"You said earlier you were a toy." Her voice was soft. "I want you to know you are not. I have never thought of you that way."

I gripped the album tighter. A strange, hot feeling coursed through me.

Shame.

I'd thrown the Shadow's words at her face. As I stared at the beautifully arranged photographs, I finally realized how twisted those words were.

Rhian lifted her head. Her expression filled with such regret, it hurt to see it.

"This was not what I wanted for any of you. I wished it could've been different for my daughters. My only granddaughter."

I thought of how she'd watched from afar throughout the years. What lay behind each photo.

How she'd immediately used my suggestions for ondine combat and constructed an indoor training facility.

How she'd believed in and protected Ian.

I met her gaze levelly. "I know."

The Governor's mask fell into place and steely hazel eyes fastened on to me.

"When you return, I need you strong. Ready."

Without the present, there is no future.

I closed the album and gently placed it on the table. "I'll do my best."

It was my promise to her.

"I know you will. You're an Irisavie."

Her chin lifted in a manner so familiar, for one moment I almost believed it was my mother sitting there.

THIRTY-FIVE

Dawn peeked over the horizon and began its slow crawl across the sky. I walked out of the dorm with my packed duffel bag.

Julian leaned against the wall with a lazy smile. He handed me a large cup of coffee and a paper bag.

I sniffed. "No way."

"The last of Stan's éclairs. By the time you get back, he'll be gone."

No matter how good Bastien may be, I was going to enjoy my last bite of the authentic thing.

I dug in. "How'd you get him to make a fresh batch so early in the morning?"

"I helped him pack some of his things last night…" He abruptly stopped and shook his head.

A gooey piece of cream chocolate was already making its way through my mouth. "What?"

"Do you realize Stan has twenty pastel fish print shirts?" He sounded personally insulted that such a thing dared to exist in the world. "I told him he wouldn't find a woman wearing something like that."

I was pretty sure Julian and Stan had very different tastes in that department.

"Here." I shared half the éclair with him. "It'll make you feel better."

We slowly crossed the Quad toward the Academy parking lot, savoring the sweet richness of coffee and eclairs under the pink and orange sky.

It was strange to think I wouldn't be here for a month. When I returned, things wouldn't be the same.

"So." Curiosity and concern glinted in his eyes. "Holy shit."

I swallowed. "Yeah. That pretty much sums it up."

"How are you handling it?"

The question surprised me. Everything happened so fast yesterday, I didn't have a chance to process it.

When Rhian first said I had a month, it'd felt too short for what I had to do.

But I now realized what she gave me was time. It was something I needed.

It wasn't just me. Chloe's desire to find something more for herself. Aubrey's adjustments to her injury. Cam. Ian. Gabe.

All of us needed time to deal with the changes that continued to barrel forward.

"I'll be okay." The words rang true.

"Did you tell everyone you're leaving?"

I shook my head. "I'll call them once we get there."

We entered the lot and I headed for my car.

Julian raised his hand. "No."

"I want to make sure its locked up."

"Believe me. Even if it weren't locked, that thing would still be here when you got back."

I scowled and double-checked the doors. He muttered something under his breath that sounded like mercy scrapping.

We climbed into his hybrid. Julian sat behind the wheel, but didn't start the car.

"Come on." I strapped on my seatbelt. "We're not going to make the flight."

"Before we go," he suddenly said. "I wanted to say thanks."

"For what?"

He shifted, looking mildly uncomfortable.

"I know I've been kind of an ass." He hesitated. "It means a lot that you trust me to go with you."

Julian helped me over and over again. With training. With Chloe and Ian. He consistently risked his life to find the Shadow and do what was right for elementals.

He was a friend.

"Of course I trust you, LeVeq."

A pleased look shone in his eyes. "Good."

We leisurely drove toward the main gate. The sun now edged over the horizon and I gazed out the window at the streets of Haverleau.

I would soon be responsible for these people. This world that seemed like Oz when I first arrived.

He glanced at me. "New York, huh? My favorite city, sweet iris."

"It's my first time there."

Light brightened the interior, its natural warmth taking away the sting of the cold.

A month away from Haverleau. A time to find my way forward.

I took a deep breath. Everything momentarily stilled.

And like an unfurling petal, there was only the faint quivering resonance of what was to come.

Julian drove us through the main gate.

Its wrought-iron bars closed behind us and we headed for the shimmering rays of dawn.

Terminology

Aquidae
: Demons formed from the black blood of the Shadow. Supernaturally fast and strong, they have no soul. Their mission is to destroy the balance of the Elemental world, turning everything into darkness, violence, and chaos.

Armicant:
The mysterious weapons maker for elementals. Resides in the Selkie Kingdom and is responsible for constructing every
kouperet
blade.

Chevalier
: The knights of the water elemental world. Comprised of demillirs, the chevalier corps patrols for Aquidae, taking out any cells they find. Besides protection and patrol, their duties center around the justice system, thus making their function similar to human police officers. Chevaliers also act as a back-up and support group to the work of the gardinels.

Demillirs
: Half-human, half-ondine males with no Virtue or elemental magic (the only known exceptions so far being Jeeves and Julian). Most non-Redavi demillirs serve as chevaliers because they possess extra-human speed and strength. Demillirs can either be born (a male born of an ondine and demillir) or created. When a fully human male mates with an ondine, the bonding process infuses him with ondine magic, turning him into a demillir.

Dessondine
: Ancestors of the ondines and one of the oldest and powerful water elemental races (like the selkies). They live immortally underwater, and Jourdain, their High Priestess, is credited as being the Mother who created the ondine race.

Elemental Magic
: All ondines, who are not Redavi first borns, possess this type of water magic. It gives them control over the creation, movement, and transformation of water in all its forms.

Elemental Brand:
A diamond brand the Armicant sears onto the right foreflipper of selkies when they're inducted into the gardinels. The brand infuses a part of the selkie's seal form with Essence, allowing them to fight underwater. The color of the brand is the same color as a selkie's
pedaillon
stone and is determined by the Armicant.

Essence
: A particularly pure brand of energy and magic resulting from the combination of ondine, dessondine, demillir, and selkie blood.

Four Elementals:
The Four Elements that work together to protect and maintain the balance of the Earth: Fire, Earth, Water, Air. Each elemental world has many races and complex societies that support it.

Gardinel
: A selkie warrior, trained to protect dessondines and ondines both on land and in water. They work protective and military duty, much like the military and secret service.

Kouperet
: Silver blade infused with Essence. The only known weapon effective in killing Aquidae.

Marquis
: Official title of a Redavi demillir

Marquisa
: Official title of a Redavi ondine

Nix
: Originally dark shape-shifters that preyed on humans, this race eventually began living on land and mating with humans. Known for their shady business practices and adeptness with information and technology, nixes maintain a dark reputation and are known Aquidae accomplices. They can no longer shape-shift, but their blood contains latent dark magic. They share similar traits with the selkies, including self-healing and the ability to spot an ondine's aura.

Origin scar
: Distinguishing mark of the Aquidae. It is the one vulnerable spot through which they can be killed with a
kouperet
. It is the location where they are first turned, when their mortal blood is replaced with the black demonic ichor of the Shadow.

Pedaillon
: The pendant that contains a selkie's seal skin while in human form.

Redavi
: Equivalent to ondine nobility. Descendants of the first eight families of the ondine race, the Redavi were gifted with the magic of Virtue. Their magical bloodlines are the strongest within the ondine race.