Billow (43 page)

Marcella worked hard to navigate the waters of elemental politics. She'd convinced others like Nanette to support changes. Warned me about its dangers and trickiness.

That's why she'd taken on a temporary teaching position. A year to do what she truly enjoyed. Because she knew she'd eventually become Governor.

And I hadn't paid attention to any of it.

I couldn't do this. I couldn't even handle a few hours at a party with Redavi and other government officials without wanting to punch someone.

"Why does it have to be me?" My voice was a bit hysterical. "Is it that important to keep it in the Irisavie family? Can't someone else be voted in as Governor?"

"We're at a crucial moment," Rhian said. "It's important for the position to remain with us."

"Why?" I didn't think my grandmother was power-hungry, but maybe I was wrong.

"You are the
sondaleur
."

I shot her an incredulous look. "Because I'm the
sondaleur
, I have to be Governor, too?"

Nexa sighed. "Do you ever read your history book in school, dear?"

"Why should I?" I said, defensive. "It's about stuff that's already happened."

Why did everyone keep asking me that?

Jeeves' eyes darkened. "When a child of the current Governor takes over the position, the selection is confirmed by the Governing Council. When it's not the direct child, the Governor is confirmed by an impartial party."

Rhian nodded. "Magic. And this is not the magic ondines or even dessondines possess. This is Original Magic. The one that created the Four Elements. It created the dessondine and selkie races. It created the Shadow and the races of both dark and light. It's as old as the earth itself."

"Magic is a thing? Like a being?"

Nexa poured herself a drink. "It's an energy, an accumulation of everything that makes this planet what it is. It knows not good or evil. It's impartial and ancient."

She peered over the glass. "If Magic judges you fit for Governorship, no one can overturn the decision."

I didn't understand. As long as this old magic approved, anyone could become Governor.

"So why does it have to be me? It can be someone else."

"Because no one is strong enough. The judging process is…" Rhian hesitated. "Not pleasant."

Lovely.

I turned to Nanette. "You could do it. You supported Marcella, the Irisavies. You could —"

She shook her head, sympathy in her eyes. "I can't, Kendra. I'm not strong enough. Magic would reject me as a candidate immediately."

"Then someone else on the Council —"

"Think,
sondaleur
!" Rhian said harshly. "What will happen if political power falls to someone not sympathetic toward you and your journey?"

Jeeves took a step forward. "The only other person on the Governing Council who stands a chance of being selected would be Marquisa LeVeq."

Blood rushed out of my face.

"
Sondaleur
, Magic must confirm you as the next Governor before time runs out. Otherwise there will be a fight for power." His distinguished face sombered. "I'm sure you can speculate what Marquisa LeVeq might be capable of."

Yeah. She'd make my life a living hell.

Her first order of business would be to turn back the law and get me kicked out of the chevalier program. She'd enforce all sorts of crazy, puritan things within Haverleau that'd make my task of ending the war difficult.

She'd shut down Chloe and Amber's program. In fact, if she found out what was actually built beneath the Training Center track field, she'd go nuts.

I was being out-maneuvered. Slowly but surely herded into a corner.

The iron authority of Governor was in full-force effect on Rhian's face. "You'll need to study elemental politics. Sit on the Council as the Irisavie representative and understand its dynamics. Go through the confirmation process with Magic."

Every word overwhelmed. Suffocated.

I'd finally managed to accept being the
sondaleur
.

And now they wanted me to not just end the war, but somehow lead our people. Be responsible for their well-being and society.

Too much. I can't
.

"But…" Frantic, I struggled to make my mouth work. "But I can't do this!"

No one reacted.

"I hate all that stuff. I don't know how to work with people. I'll open my mouth and cause an international incident. This is stupid!"

Nexa looked amused. "I think you'd make an interesting Governor, dear. Very refreshing."

They didn't understand. Since I stepped up as
sondaleur
, they thought I'd do the same.

"You ask too much." I stood. Arms shook with the effort to control raging emotions. "I'm not your toy, something to use for whatever you need. For whenever it's convenient. You can't dump this on me and expect me to do it!"

"Then we've already lost," Nexa said calmly. "You won't fulfill the prophecy and the war will continue and end, likely with the Shadow's victory."

"There has to be another way —"

"Your fate is intertwined with Haverleau. You need our people to fulfill your destiny." Rhian's icy hazel eyes bored into me. "And they need you."

This couldn't be happening.

Anger and a deep, pained betrayal burned through me.

Jeeves closed his eyes. Tristan continued to look out the window, hands fisted by his side.

He'd known about this. He should've told me, prepared me.

Nanette reached for my hand. "Kendra —"

I stepped away and left, shutting the door with a quiet click.

 ***

The cadences and harmonies of Bach flowed.

I sat on the floor, the cool weight of a sapphire
pedaillon
in my hand.

Resounding music carried strings of memories. Words and images that wove together into a tapestry of my time in Haverleau.

The sondaleur is supposed to fight for all of us.

Fingers curled around the stone.

It wasn't fair.

But had it been fair for my mother? For Marcella? Rhian? Tristan?

I thought of everything they'd been through. How they'd all given so much to elementals.

Was I upset because they were asking me to serve again in a role I didn't want? Or because I thought I couldn't do it?

Maybe what bothered me was having to accept certain things. Like a life without Marcella. A life, oddly enough, without my cold grandmother.

All of it meant re-imagining my own life into something else.

It scared the hell out of me.

You will be asked over and over again to give that which you will not want to give.

I remembered the iris in Jourdain's hands. How it strained each time, pushing its way through the air.

Shifting, changing, reaching.

Every moment vibrating with energy. With everything it meant to be an elemental.

The darkness of night deepened and I finally knew what I wanted.

Curfew passed an hour ago and the hallways and dorm were quiet. I slipped past the lobby guard and headed for the parking lot.

My car's screeches and creaks pierced through the night as I drove away from the Academy.

It took longer to reach my destination than I thought it would.

The lights were on.

Somehow, I knew she'd be waiting.

I knocked and Jeeves opened the door. If he was surprised by my unannounced visit, he didn't show it.

I took the same spot on the sectional as I had hours ago.

Rhian sat in front of me. "Augustin, I'd like to speak to her alone."

"Of course, Governor." Jeeves slipped out of the office and securely shut the door behind him.

I searched her face for something, some sign that she understood what I was feeling.

But there was nothing.

"I'll do it."

With those words, I felt as if I walked past an invisible line.

My insides shook and I forced myself to look straight at her. "On two conditions."

Her expression remained unreadable. "What is it?"

"I want to be actively involved in the investigation of the Shadow. As the
sondaleur
and soon-to-be Governor, this is my business."

If they believed I could be responsible for the entire elemental world, then they could no longer keep me out of it.

"I agree. And the second?"

"I want to complete the chevalier program and be inducted."

After everything I went through to become the first ondine recruit, I needed to see it through. This wasn't about being the
sondaleur
.

It was about Chloe learning marksmanship. Amber discovering something outside Redavi social dictations. Marcella working to change a law no one thought could be changed.

I wasn't going to give anyone a reason to believe an ondine couldn't become a chevalier.

Her eyes widened. "Of course. I wouldn't have asked you to give that up."

The words took me aback. Some part of me had expected her to force a choice between chevalier and Governor. Like the way King Belicoux did with Tristan.

"Okay," I said stiffly.

It was done. There was no turning back.

"You need to go to New York immediately."

That completely threw me off. Maybe Rhian was spending a little too much time with Nexa.

"My friend Marquisa Bessette heads an ondine community in Manhattan. She'll tutor you on the necessary topics. You may also continue your physical training at their facilities."

"When you say immediately —"

"Tomorrow morning."

"For how long?"

"A month." 

"Oh." My voice was small. I was supposed to learn everything in a month? "What about my studies at the Academy?"

"Everything will be arranged. We don't have much time." Rhian discussed her own mortality as if it were a minor issue. "I need you to return and be confirmed. In two months, the Elemental conference will take place in the Selkie Kingdom. It occurs every twenty years."

I vaguely remembered King Belicoux and Julian talking about it.

"I thought no one went to the Selkie Kingdom."

Ondines and demillirs didn't have much information on them. Selkies maintained privacy because they guarded their shapeshifting and preferred dealing with us in human form.

"It's the first time something like this is happening," Rhian said. "It was Prince Belicoux's idea to host the conference this year."

He was moving forward. Doing what he could to help his people prepare for the end of war.

Somehow, the thought strengthened me.

"Leaders from all ondine communities, as well as the Governing Council, dessondines, and the selkies will be attending," she continued. "I need you to present yourself as the next Governor by then."

"Is it important?"

"Very. Magic may judge you fit to take the Governorship. But real leadership must come from acceptance."

Fingers dug into the edge of the sofa. The enormity of what I'd agreed to was overwhelming.

Rhian straightened. "You will take someone with you for your trip to New York."

"Why?"

"This is an official visit. You're mentally preparing yourself for what is to come. As the
sondaleur
and next Governor, you cannot go there alone."

I suppressed a sigh. I knew it was part of what I'd agreed to, but that didn't mean it was easy to accept.

"I know you can protect yourself." Her voice slightly softened. "I believe one person will be sufficient. Who would you like to have accompany you?"

Dark hair, golden skin, amber
pedaillon
flickered through my mind, followed immediately by a twinge of hurt. He'd known about this and hadn't told me.

But even if he had, would it have changed anything?

Tristan was in full prince mode now and I was going to be Governor. Regardless of what happened in the factory, we'd made choices that now affected countless other lives.

The leader of the elemental world couldn't be pulled back to the ocean as a dessondine. The selkie prince couldn't deal with me when he had larger goals to accomplish for his people.

We both knew what was true. And that had to be enough.

Bringing another gardinel wouldn't help because I knew who they'd report to.

That left only one other person I trusted. Someone I could work with to find the Shadow.

"Julian LeVeq. I know he's busy because of what's going on with Gabe, but —"

"It'll be arranged." Rhian's eyes held mine. "You're doing the right thing."

I wished I could be as certain as she sounded.

She walked to her desk, removed a thick album from the drawer, and brought it to me.

It was heavy, the smooth, brown leather warm and pliant. Engraved on the cover was the letter I. The script swirled, tip ending in an iris.

"The Irisavie family crest," she said.

Hesitant, I opened it.

Photos. Hundreds of photos.

Mom walking with Dad through a park, a chubby baby in her arms. I must've been a few months old.

Another photo taken through the window as I blew out candles on my second birthday. A three-year-old me running with my father on a beach I didn't recognize.

Training with Mom in our home. The first time she took me to a gun range. Winning martial arts tournaments. Ian and I laughing as we walked out of school.

My mother watching me sleep, relief and something she never let me see openly shining on her face.

A lump grew in my throat.

I had eight photos of my family. Three of my father, three of my mother and I, and two of all of us.

"How?"

Energy pulsed in a soft flash of light. Rhian was at the window, half a room away from where she'd been sitting.

"Teleportation?"

She nodded. "Most times I was the one who went. Sometimes when you were younger it was Vittorio, my previous Counsel. And over the past twelve years, Augustin visited you many times."

That's why Jeeves knew I could shoot.

She'd teleported to wherever we were. Had been there throughout the years, watching from a distance. Documenting, valuing the life I had.

"Did she know? My mother?"