becoming us (23 page)

Becoming Us - 116

“Show me what you want to do?” Zac asked, handing over the lube and a condom, and letting Bryce take the lead. Bryce tugged the covers over them and shifted so he was on his back and Zac was lying on his chest.

“Like this,” Bryce whispered. He leaned up to kiss Zac, then got his hands on Zac’s thighs, slowly pulling them apart and opening him up. “God, I do want you, Zac. I think about you every night and every morning,” he confessed. “I never jerked off so much in my life like I do thinking about you right there in the room next to mine.”

Bryce’s big hands roamed Zac’s back and ass and thighs. They felt so good. Zac settled himself on his knees over Bryce’s lap, opening himself up to more of Bryce’s touches and leaning down over him to kiss him on the mouth. “I jerk off, thinking about you, too,” he answered. “You’re so hot, Bryce.”

Bryce moaned. “I like that. Fuck, Zac, I love you wanting me.” He slid his hands over Zac’s ass, stroking the curves, then dipped his fingers in to stroke Zac’s hole and up behind his balls. “Tell me,” he whispered. “Tell me what you think about. I want to hear it.” His voice was thick with lust, and he petted Zac with two fingers while opening the lube up with his other hand. “You tell me, I’ll tell you. I promise, no freaking out this time.”

“I think about...” God, Bryce’s fingers felt so good. So distracting. It was hard to focus on what he was saying, hard to remember he had to be careful, but talking was good. Less trouble later when they talked. “I think about this. About how your fingers feel inside me. How good it feels when you fuck me with them. When you fuck me. I think about your dick.” Zac kissed the side of Bryce’s neck, nibbling gently. “I think about how it feels, opening me up. God, Bryce, you feel so fucking
big
inside me. It’s so good...”

“I love touching you,” Bryce whispered. He tipped the lube to squeeze it over his fingers where they were petting Zac, making everything cool and slick. He shivered under Zac and took a breath. “I love to look. I think about that. I never thought I’d love to look at anyone like that, but I do. You’re beautiful. It turns me on so much.” He circled a finger and pressed in gently.

Bryce’s next words were little more than a breath. “I want... when I watch my fingers, when I touch you, I want to kiss you,” he confessed shakily. “I think about that. I want to lick you. To kiss you. To slide my tongue into you. I wonder what you’d taste like. Feel like. If you’d like it.

How you’d sound. God, Zac, I never... you make me think things like that, when I look at you.

And I can’t stop thinking them.”

Oh, God
. Zac couldn’t help moaning at that. With Bryce’s finger pressing into him so slowly, he could imagine what Bryce’s tongue might feel like, and it made him shiver with need. “God, Bryce. That sounds so... I want that. I want to feel it. I want.” He pulled back to stare down at Bryce, catching himself before he asked Bryce to do it right then. Of all the things he’d imagined Bryce even thinking about, much less wanting to do, that one had never entered his mind.

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“I think. I think about sucking you off,” Zac breathed. “Getting your dick in my mouth. I liked it, when you let me before. I like how you taste. I think about pushing you up against the wall in the showers and getting down on my knees and doing it right there. Or at the movies, holding hands, and then getting down on my knees and sucking you off and you’d have to be so quiet. So quiet, so no one would know.”

“I love you.” Bryce’s eyes were wide. “I want that. I want you. God, Zac. I just... you...
you
... are everything I want. I want you anywhere. Everywhere. I want to touch every inch of you. I just dream about that. Touching.” He bit his lip and slid a finger into Zac. “God. That. That is the hottest thing. Being
in
you. I want... I want you to feel that, too. About me. I just want to be yours.”

“I want to. I do, Bryce. I want to show you. Touch you.” Zac groaned softly and pushed back against Bryce’s finger. “I just want you. I don’t care who does what. You turn me on. I think about you, about everything, doing everything, with you. Anywhere, everywhere, wherever I can have you. Want you so much.”

“I want it, too,” Bryce whispered, giving him another finger. “I want... God, Zac. I want just you.

Nothing between us. I want your bare skin,” he said breathlessly, his cheeks reddening like he was embarrassed about it. “I don’t mean being stupid... I wouldn’t. I just wish... I mean... I just want to be yours. You know?” He looked a little frightened.

Oh. Oh, man
. Zac kissed Bryce on the mouth, giving himself time to think. Barebacking was a big deal. Not that everything else they’d done and said wasn’t, but barebacking was such a huge temptation, especially with someone Zac knew and wanted as much as Bryce. And loved. “We.

Oh, fuck.” Zac rocked back onto those fingers, trying to focus through the pleasure. “We could.

We could get tested. We could do that. I think. I think it’d be good. Oh, God, Bryce. Yeah. I want.”

“Me, too. So much. I don’t want anyone but you, Zac.” Bryce slid his fingers in deep and moaned softly. “I wake up and jerk off thinking about rolling over into your arms and sliding into you and fucking you, slow, so slow.” He slid a third finger in, fucking Zac with them slowly, to match his words. “I imagine kissing your mouth, feeling your dick on my belly, feeling you come, hot and wet... and I have to bite my hand to stop saying your name when I come. My arms feel empty when I’m done.”

Fuck, Zac wanted that. Bryce made it sound so good. Zac groaned and arched, begging with his body for Bryce to push his fingers in faster, deeper. “More, Bryce,” he muttered, burrowing his face against Bryce’s neck and clenching his hands in the sheets. Knowing that Bryce wanted him, just
wanted
him because it was fucking hot, was such a rush.

Bryce pushed his fingers in deep, twisting them when they were buried all the way in Zac’s body. “I want you up against the shower wall with my dick inside you, I want you from behind in the middle of the night, I wanna jerk you off slow, slow with my hand down your pants when we’re watching TV, I want you in the back seat of the car...” He was moaning and panting, writhing under Zac, finger-fucking him hard and deep. “...I want
you
like this, Zac.”
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Zac was whimpering, his breath coming fast. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. He wanted everything Bryce wanted, and he could hardly believe Bryce wanted it all, too. “Bryce.

God, fuck me, Bryce. I want to feel you. I’m gonna come, and I want. I want you in me.” He pressed his forehead to Bryce’s shoulder and tried to calm down.

“Okay, okay...” Now it was Bryce’s turn to be soothing, kissing Zac’s scalp and then opening up the condom packet. He reached past Zac, moving him a little, getting ready, grabbing the lube.

Then the next moment, he was sliding his fingers out of Zac, his clean hand on Zac’s hip.

“C’mere, Zac.” He pushed his hips up, nudging his dick between Zac’s asscheeks.

“Oh, fuck, yeah...” Zac arched into it, reaching down and back to guide Bryce into him. “I need.

Fuck. Bryce.” He pushed down onto Bryce’s dick, moaning as it filled him up. God, Bryce’s dick stretched him wide, went so deep, and felt so good.

Bryce moaned and pushed up under him, shivering with the effort of being patient. “Oh, God, Zac,” he whispered. “You’re so...” He didn’t finish the sentence, whimpering with pleasure. His breathing was ragged and too fast already. “I love you wanting me.” As soon as Bryce was all the way inside him, Zac moved. He didn’t go slowly -- he didn’t have the patience or the self-control for that. He fucked himself on Bryce’s cock, driving it in hard and deep and fast.

“Oh,
fuck
.” Bryce grabbed Zac’s hips and moved under him, fucking him. Bryce was big and strong, all muscle, and he kept up with Zac’s pace, every thrust getting a groan of pleasure out of him. Riding him was incredible.

Zac was already shuddering, making needy little noises that he knew gave away how close he was to coming; he didn’t need to hide it. He barely had a hand around his dick when his orgasm hit and he spattered Bryce’s chest and belly with come.

Bryce didn’t last any longer than Zac did. He managed to keep quiet; soft, desperate sounds escaped him, but nothing more. His back arched and his muscles stood out as he came, pushing into Zac again and again, fucking him through his orgasm.

God, that felt so good. Zac slumped over Bryce and nuzzled into the curve of his neck, murmuring, “So good, Bryce. So good.”

“Oh. Christ,” Bryce whispered. He was shivering, holding Zac to him with both arms wrapped around Zac’s back. “Tell me I was quiet, please. That was so good. I... God. Yeah.”

“I think. Yeah. I think so.” Zac wasn’t really sure. He didn’t remember screaming or anything, but it was hard to tell, with an orgasm like that. They’d find out if Steve came to bang on the door, he guessed.

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“I’m gonna have a fucking stroke trying to be quiet if you keep doing that to me,” Bryce said, still breathing hard.

Zac laughed softly. “You? What’d I do? Jesus, Bryce, I was gonna come just from your fingers.”

“The way you fucking lose it, Zac. Need it. Nothing is better than that.” Bryce kissed his head and held him close. “I
love
fingering you, turning you on like that.” He was so sated and happy that his voice sounded like purring.

Zac wanted to do that to Bryce, to make him let go like that. Someday. He really thought they’d get there, even if Bryce had moments like he did tonight. For now, Zac relaxed on top of Bryce and closed his eyes, enjoying the closeness. “I love it when you do that to me. It feels so good.

You’ve got such big hands, Bryce. So good.”

“Anytime.” Bryce tugged the blankets over them. “Tired?” he murmured, cuddling Zac up.

“Mmm.” He was and he wasn’t. Mostly, it was the sated exhaustion that came with an orgasm.

Then there was the cuddling. He liked the cuddling a lot.

Bryce kissed his hair tenderly. “I’m sorry about earlier,” he whispered. “I was just in a bad place.” One hand moved in slow circles between Zac’s shoulder blades.

“It’s okay.” Zac wished it hadn’t happened, but things would get better. He raised his head to look down at Bryce. “We should talk about that stuff, though. So it’s not so... I dunno.”

“Surprising?” Bryce looked chagrined. “I’m sorry, Zac. I am. I’m trying. I don’t feel bad right now.” He gave Zac a little smile. “I feel amazing. I never knew it would be like this. When I’m here and now, it’s all good.”

“It’s okay. We just... we gotta talk about it, ‘cause then maybe it won’t be so bad.” Zac wasn’t a big fan of talking about sex like that, not really, but he knew they needed it.

Bryce nodded slowly. “Yeah, I know. I don’t mind talking about it, you know, I just... times like now are better. ‘Cause I’m kind of past the worst already. And I can put things straight in my head.” He brushed Zac’s cheek with the fingers of his clean hand. “Zac, I wanna make this work so bad.”

“Me, too.” Zac turned his head to kiss Bryce’s fingers. “Not just the sex. All of it. I don’t wanna screw this up by, like, pushing you into something you don’t want, or you’re not ready for. Or anything else.”

“Me, either.” Bryce touched Zac’s lips with a fingertip. “You make me happy. You always did, just being my best friend. I missed you like crazy last year. I mean, you were
right there
in the next room, and I missed you anyway. Even when we hung out, it was like there was a wall between us. I don’t want that again, Zac.”

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Zac felt guilty about that. He’d spent so much time with Perry last year. “I’m sorry, Bryce. I won’t do that again. It was... It wasn’t that I didn’t want to hang out with you, you know?”

“Yeah.” Bryce looked sad right then, in spite of the smile he gave Zac. “I still would’ve been your friend. You know that now, right?”

“I know. I just... had to be ready to tell you.” Zac hadn’t known any such thing back then, not really, and it hadn’t been all Bryce. Perry had been safe, though, because Perry was gay, too. It hadn’t felt safe to tell anyone else.

“I’d be kind of a jackass if I didn’t understand that,” Bryce admitted. He still looked sad, but he exhaled slowly, like he was letting it go. “Just... I just want to be good for you is all.” He leaned up to kiss Zac on the mouth.

“You have been.” Zac shrugged a little. “I mean, you know now and you didn’t, like, totally freak out or anything.” Bryce had acted weird after the article had come out, but he hadn’t done anything crazy, hadn’t said anything he needed to regret.

“I wouldn’t.” Bryce kissed him again. “I’m sorry about, you know, the party and stuff.”
That
part hadn’t gone particularly well.

“I... yeah. That was kinda my fault, though. I shouldn’t have said what I did.” Zac frowned and kissed Bryce back. “I’m sorry. If I’d known what was going on, I never woulda teased you like that.”

“I know. I kinda lost my shit and I’m sorry.” Bryce nuzzled Zac’s nose with his own. “It’s okay now, though, right?”

“Yeah.” Zac smiled and brushed a little kiss over Bryce’s lips. “Yeah. It’s okay now.”

“We’re pretty good at fixing things up.” Bryce took a breath and let it out slowly. “This stuff, about my dad and all. We’ll fix that, too, right? You’re still gonna love me when I’m broke and have to work twenty hours a week on top of everything else, and all that shit?”

“We will, yeah. We’ll figure it out. And I don’t give a damn if you’re broke.” Zac sat back.

“Sounds like Coach is trying to help, too?”

Bryce nodded and gave Zac a little smile. “Yeah. I’ll be okay. I mean, about money. It’s not the end of the world, getting a job, it’s just new. Mom’s dad gave us kids trust funds, for when we’re twenty-five or we get married.” He sat up, muscles bunching, and wrapped his arms around Zac to kiss him. “It’s nothing like Dad’s money, but enough to get me started on my own.” That was good. Zac felt something ease inside him, like he’d been holding his breath and didn’t know it, way down in the bottom of his chest. Like he’d been feeling a bit guilty about being part of Bryce getting rejected by his family. He could make up for Bryce not having his family,
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