Beauty (7 page)

But…it didn’t happen to you…
I reminded myself, turning the dirty memory into something a little more positive.
It happened to Evelyn…and she’s gone now…

That was enough to ease the invisible band that had constricted around my chest. I walked taller, my head held high as I followed behind Jeremy, the tips of my fingers clasped loosely in his. I pretended to ignore the envious looks I got from a few of the trashy looking girls decorating the door to
what I assumed was his apartment. Hip Hop music blared from two waist high speakers just across the living room we were
in now, the volume so loud
I could feel the vibration of the bass in my chest.

Jeremy tossed me his boyish grin before pointing somewhere in the direction of the tiny kitchen just ahead. I nodded as I watched him point again to an empty love seat in the middle of the room, and then give me a gentle push that way. My feet moved slowly, my body ducking and weaving between
the sudden crowd that
seemed to follow us in. This co
uldn’t be any more than a one or
two bedroom apartment, but I counted
more than thirty bodies before I finally perched myself on the edge of the stained furniture.

T
his was all new to me. K
egs sat out in the open
like flowerpots, red
Solo
cups littering the dirty carpet every few inches. Some of them were trampled and cracked under people’s staggering feet
, others tipped over and spilling
what was left of their
contents. I tried to keep an eye on Jeremy as he poured two drinks at the kitchen counter, all the while carrying on a conversation with a blonde hair
ed
guy, but there were too many bodies, and my neck was beginning to hurt from craning too far to the right.

I suddenly needed to use the bathroom, and was about to go find it when some
one cleared their throat just over where I was perched
. My head lifted immediately and I had to blink twice to make sure that it wasn’t my friend Michael standing in front of me. This guy had the same curly brown hair, bulging gut, and double chin, but the way he was staring he obviously didn’t know me, and I didn’t know him.

“Excuse me…” I murmured, already knowing that he wouldn’t hear me over the music, but I stood anyway bringing me
almost chest to chest with him for an instant.

I side stepped and his beefy fingers caught my wrists, surprising me.

“
You’re beautiful…” he slurred as he leaned forward so that I could hear him, the smell of beer and something sour turning my stomach. “Wanna go in the back…?”

In the back…? What was in the back…?
Wait…I’m getting hit on by a coke bottle glasses wearing fattie…
! Eeeeeew! WWJD…what would June do…?! THINK!

“In your dreams,” I smirked before he could lean away, my perfectly glossed lips pursing and turning upward against the tip of my nose.

That was wrong… You were just as fat…maybe fatter yesterday…

I pushed the thought out of my mind and my body past him, making my way towards the kitchen to find Jeremy. He wasn’t there, and so I continued down the narrow hallway, smacking away a set of hands that tried to grab my ass as I passed. There was a door ahead of me that was closed and another door to my right that was partially cracked. I tried that one first, my heels skidding on the cracked bathroom linoleum as I came to a complete stop.

White smoke c
urled so thick in here
the room was a complete haze. In the middle of the floor sat a bong that stood at least three fe
et high, the liquid in its globed
bottom bubbling as a girl sucked on the round opening at the top. Four other people were in the bathroom besides her, two of them passed out in the tub, half naked. Jer
emy sat perched on the top of the toilet, two red solo cups in his hand.

“You left me…” I accused, my voice barely above a whisper.

His eyes had changed… They were rimmed red now, his face serene as he looked at me, but didn’t acknowledge my accusation. It was
n’t
like I was his girl, but I hadn’t expected to be left sitting in a crowded room full of people I didn’t know.

“Shut the door,” the girl sucking on the bong managed in between tokes, a fresh white
cloud of smoke filling the room,
choking me.

I coughed once, my eyes burning as I tried to hold back the fit that was threatening to erupt from my lungs. Jeremy’s hand reached out and I took the cup he offered me, shifting uncomfortably in the heels I wore. My full bladder wouldn’t be able to wait much longer, but I wasn’t about to ask them to leave so that I could go. I took another step into the bathroom, pushing the door closed behind me as the girl had asked.

“Becca…” she smiled as she switched
spots with Jeremy,
long red hair falling in waves around her shoulders now that she was upright.

“Eve…” I murmured, taking a sip from the red Solo cup before clearing my throat as hard as I could.

The urg
e to cough was gone, but my urgent need
to pee had caused my legs to start trembling.

“Is there another bathroom?”

I directed the question at Becca, trying to keep from staring as Jeremy fl
icked a lighter I hadn’t seen, holding
it to the wad of green stuck in the glass pipe at
the bottom of the bong.
Weed…
Drugs… Illegal… Bad… Oh no….

I hadn’t even done anything, yet I subconsciously wrapped my newly thin arms
protectively
around my body, the liquid in the cup sloshing and spilling over my fingers.

“No, but you can use this
one,” Jeremy blew out on a billowing puff of smoke, smacking the lighter in
to my palm
. “Your turn…” he smiled,
following Becca from the bathroom out into the hall.

“Wait!” I cried, pointing
at
the occupied bathtub. “What about them…I can’t just…”

“X…the pure shit…not tho
se disco biscuits you get at
campus parties
. They won’t be up anytime soon,
” Jeremy smiled and nodded when my mouth fell open into a large O.

This may have been my first college party, but I wasn’t a dummy. I’d hung around June and my suitemates long enough to know that disco biscuits was the type of cheap five dollar a pop ecstasy pills you could practically buy from the campus bookstore if you wanted. The love drug…and it was probably responsible for most student hookups as well as drop out
s
at the end of each semester. Pure X… June had never mentioned taking any, but I’d seen her crash into an eighteen hour sleep coma after taking one too many of the cheapos.

“I can score you some…” Jeremy offered, laughing at the twitching dance my feet had started to do in front of the toilet.

He mistook my need to pee for excitement over the drug.

“Um…no…I’m good,” I smiled, slapping the lighter
back
in
to
his hand before I
pushed the door shut
.

I kept my eyes trained on the two in the tub, gasping in embarrassment when I realized that one of them was a boy. Long hair covered both faces, and so I’d assumed, but from this position and angle I had a clear view of the pale limp dick stuck to his thigh, shriveled and no bigger than two of my fingers held together. The girl was spread under him, her panties still on and tangled about her knees. Heat filled my cheeks as I peed, thinking of the girl’s parents and family members.
Would she want them to see her like this…?

Someone knocked, and I straightened quickly, pulling up my panties before getting a chance to find toilet paper to wipe myself. There was none on the holder, and I would rather be caught with a slightly wet crotch, than my bare ass sticking out for who
m
ever to see.

“Time’s up!” Becca announced
,
bounding in before I’d even had a chance to flush.

I maneuvered my way around the bong sitting in the middle of the floor, letting her take her perch again on the back of the toilet. Jeremy entered after her, grabbing me around my waist and pulling me to him. I suddenly didn’t want to be here anymore. This wasn’t the charming guy I’d met in the bookstore earlier.

Becca made kissing noises and Jeremy obliged
,
planting a sloppy wet kiss on my lips. I didn’t resist, but I didn’t return either, my hands instead reaching for the cup I’d discarded on the sink.

“Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!” Becca egged me on the second the cup was to my lips, and Jeremy tipped it from the bottom, le
aving me no choice but to gulp
down the entire contents
in one swallow
.

Sad to say, I’d never tasted beer until tonight, and it tasted like warm piss smelled. It didn’t help that the stench of marijuana seem
ed to be imbedded in my lip gloss and only added to the horrible taste I now had in my mouth.

“I’ll grab another. Hit it…” Jeremy pointed, and my eyes followed to the bong, a sinking feeling already in the pit of my stomach.

I didn’t want to say no and come off looking like a total loser. I’d been there and done that all my life.

Eve would hit the bong…wouldn’t she…?
June definitely would…

“I…”

“Oh come on…you just got here…you probably don’t even have a buzz yet,” Becca giggled, her
bright red
tresses tossed over one shoulder as she gave Jeremy a look.

He shrugged as he pulled open the bathroom do
or and disappeared into the hall, my empty cup in hand.

“I’ve never done it before…” I whispered, handing her the lighter
Jeremy had left behind
.

“
Never s
moked from a bong…
really?!” Becca giggled in disbelief now
, sliding from the back of the toilet to the floor in a kneeling position. “Sit..” she instructed and I did, closing the lid before perching on the edge.

I watched as she flicked the lighter a couple time
s
, testing it before she held it to the now blackened wad of green.

“Suck…” she pointed to the opening at the top, and my mouth lowered hesitantly, my lungs inhaling the thick smoke that billowed up from the bottom.

Two seconds and my chest felt like it was going to explode, a gruff cough exploding from my throat as the burn went down and then came up again.

“Good shit righ
t…” she smiled, lifting a thin glass tube
at the bottom free.

I pinched my noise aga
inst the skunky smell coming from
the bong, smiling despite my confusion.

This was good shit?! I hate to see what bad shit was…

“I didn’t know it detached,” I whispered weakly,
sputtering through another round of coughs.

I didn’t know it detached...?! Who says that?!
LOSER!

“Again,” I tried for a weak smile, hoping she hadn’t heard me.

Jeremy walked in just as I started my second go at the bong, my cheeks caving inward as I gave it all I had.
To quell the coughing fit this time, I grabbed the full red Solo cup from his hand and chugged until it was empty again. It was colder, but tasted funny.
Maybe a different kind of beer…

Becca whooped, and I laughed, scooting over to the rim of the tub to make room for Jeremy. My eyes closed as he took a kneeling position with the bong cradled between his thighs. It wasn’t what I would exactly consider fun, but then again Evelyn had never had fun before, and Eve was just learning.

I felt nothing, and every
thing at the same time. Instead of troubled my mind suddenly felt empty. The tips of my fingers had started to tingle, and I had to peek at them when they went completely numb. My body was lighter than air, and the loud thumb of the music was at a dull roar it seemed. Jeremy was kissing me, his hands on my thighs, pushing up my dress and working his way between my legs.

Time seemed to be moving in slow motion and so were my thoughts.
I didn’t want this… Did I…?
The bathroom was swirling around me, the movement turning my stomach, but I swallowed back the heave. I didn’t want to throw up in his mouth.

“Let
’s
go to my room… It’s quiet in there,” Jeremy suggested, pulling me from the rim of the tub.

I stood on wobbly legs, falling into his chest, my head lolling to one side.

Wasn’t weed supposed to mellow you out…?

I wasn’t mellow… That was for sure. My spine tingled as Jeremy pulled me from the bathroom out into the hall, pushing me in the direction of the closed door at the end. Out here the music was loud again and I suddenly had the urge to dance to it, even though I didn’t know how. I dropped into a squat when he tried to push me further, grinding my hips in the hard lump bulging at the middle of his crotch. He seemed to like it, and so I rocked harder, giggling when we both stumbled and fell into the wall.