Beautifully Shattered (The Beautifully Series Book 1) (16 page)

“I know it’s
popular belief that I tell my brother everything in my life, but I
actually don’t tell him about the men in my life,” I say in the
most condescending voice I can manage. I give him a glare that would
kill a lesser man on the spot, but of course The God beside me just
glares back.

Yeah,
that’s right, Jax, I said men. Plural. Suck on that.
If
Jax wants to keep playing the hot and cold game, then fine, I’m all
in. I shift in my seat and look out the window, trying my hardest to
ignore the seething man beside me. Everyone wants me to live again,
to find myself, so fine, I will. The old me would never allow Jax to
continue pulling this crap and frankly I’m tired of it. Enough is
enough.

I don’t know if it’s
the recent events or how this magnificent dress makes me feel
incredibly beautiful, but I can’t wait for the Rare Disease Charity
Ball. I’m going to embrace myself tonight and I won’t let Jax
giving me whiplash stop me from having a good time.

Once we arrive, a quick
surveillance of the room shows me that I might have options. It seems
that every single man here is checking me out, some to their dates’
disappointment. All thanks to the gorgeous dress Jax bought for me.
My attention drifts to the ceiling. It’s covered in lights, as if
they want it to appear like the night sky. Of course I think of my
brother. I know he’s had a hand in this. I’ll have to compliment
him once I see him. I turn. My “date” has mysteriously
disappeared within the crowd. I do, however, spot the place to boost
up my courage, a short distance away. There also happens to be a sexy
guy leaning against the bar ogling me.

I’m still at the bar
flirting shamelessly when I feel his eyes on me. I know he is
somewhere close. I choose to step up my game and ignore him like I’ve
been doing since we arrived.

Setting my hand on the
stranger’s bicep, I lean closer than necessary to whisper, “Are
you going to just flirt with me or are you going to ask me to dance
anytime soon?” I lean back and gaze into his brown eyes and bite my
lip suggestively.

He places both of our
champagne flutes on the table, then takes my hand and whispers, “It
would be my pleasure Ms . . .?”

I lick my bottom lip
and say in what I hope is a sexy voice, “Let’s not get into
names.” I wave my hand vaguely around the room. “Defeats the
theme for tonight.”

His eyes get heated and
I’m suddenly regretting my decision to flirt with a complete
stranger. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. I feel his presence
closing in on us and I know that I’m making the right decision
after all. Jax keeps leaving me frustrated and I know this is the
perfect idea.

I’m accompanying the
handsome stranger to the dance floor when we see Connor and one of
his blonde bimbos blocking our path. Connor is dashing in his tux and
Phantom of the Opera mask. His date for the evening, if you can call
it that, reminds me of all the stereotypical blondes that everyone
hates. I bet her voice is even annoying. I refuse to learn her name
since she will be gone by tonight . . . or within the next few hours,
they never last until the morning. I look pointedly from his date to
him. Connor just shrugs as if to say, “she’s hot.”

Connor leans in, gives
me a quick kiss on the cheek. “You look beyond words tonight Ada—”

“Thanks!” I say
much too loudly so he doesn’t reveal my name to the stranger. “Have
you seen Logan?”

The stranger beside me
shifts nervously on his feet. I think it could be because of the
person glaring daggers at him close by. I choose to ignore both and
focus on Connor.

“Logan won’t be
able to make it tonight, actually. He kindly told me at the last
minute so that I would have the short car ride over to prepare my
speech.”

I do the most ladylike
snort. “I’m not even going to pretend to feel sorry for you. I
would say something along the lines of, you can always talk your way
out of anything and you’ll do great, but let’s face it, you don’t
need to hear it. I’m sure you hear how great you are from the
endless women on your arm.”

The bimbo, who was
ignoring me and doing everything in her power to gain Connor’s
attention, scowls at me. I smirk in response. There, payback for the
whole crashing my date thing.

Without another word I
yank on the stranger’s hand again and lead him to the dance floor.
He pulls me into his arms and starts spinning me across the room. I
have to admit, Mr. Mysterious really knows how to move. When he spins
me back into his arms, I realize I’m having fun. He moves his hands
to my lower back, which of course makes me step on his toe with my
heel.

“Crap! Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”
Without taking his eyes off my mouth, he begins to descend for a
kiss. Instinctively, I turn away at the last second so his lips graze
the side of my cheek.

I can tell he’s
irritated that I dodged his kiss, but I ignore it and continue to
dance with him to another song. As the chorus comes through the
speakers, his hand starts to roam again. I have no idea why I turned
away at the last minute. I wonder if it has anything to do with
Kohen, or worse with Jax. I tell myself I’m just not the kind of
person to kiss random strangers.

I want to pretend to be
the confident person I used to be, but I’m not her, I can’t
pretend. Not even wearing a mask can transform me into a different
person. When the song ends, I thank the stranger for the dance when I
feel him behind me. My whole body breaks into chills. I know if I
turn around, I will come face-to-face with Jax. I’m not ready, but
my body doesn’t want to listen to me anymore. I slowly turn around
toward the one person that I want more than anything.

I’m taken aback when
it’s not Jax. This is a new stranger. The man staring intensely
down at me wears a blood red mask that covers his entire face, except
for his lustful lips. He looks like the devil; the mask even has
horns at the top. I blink a few times, expecting this devil mask to
disappear and a simple black Casanova mask to take its place.

Automatically, I take
his offered hand.

Mr. Secretive pulls me
close so there isn’t any space between our bodies. I can feel his
hard muscles underneath his tux. My breathing has become
embarrassingly noticeable, and I’m pretty positive that my skin is
on fire when his hands start to roam my bare arms. I look up at his
face, trying to see his eyes, but with the lack of light on the dance
floor, it’s impossible to tell the color.

I’m so confused,
everything in me tells me this is Jax. He’s the only one who can
ignite my skin, that makes my whole body burn. But my mind can’t
process why he’s in a different mask.

Because
this isn’t him. This is Mr. Secretive.

He still hasn’t said
anything and I don’t want to break the spell he has me under. He
continues to grind his groin into my pelvis with the beat of the
music, making it painfully obvious how aroused he is. By the pool of
moisture gathering in my panties, it’s safe to say I’m in the
same boat as him. The song is almost over when I get a quick whiff of
his cologne.

And I know without a
doubt who’s behind the mask.

I shouldn’t have
doubted myself. I knew it was Jax before I turned around. I know him.
My body knows him. I can feel him even from across the room. It’s
as if my body, my soul, wants to haunt me forever. To torture me some
more by reminding me what I can never have.

Jax.

Reaching up, I thread
my hands through his velvety soft hair. I pull his head down to me
and press my lips to his. Jax releases his hold on my hips to cup my
face as he deepens the kiss. I meet his tongue eagerly, loving the
taste of him. I nibble on his lip and he growls into my mouth,
turning me on even more. He’s the one to pull back first. I smile
when I see he’s as breathless as I am. We’ve both just run an
imaginary marathon.

The smoldering look he
gives me makes me shiver. I’ve never wanted anyone as desperately
as I want him right here, right now. Without thinking long enough to
talk myself out of it, I grip his hand and lead him off the dance
floor. If there wasn’t people everywhere I would be sprinting with
him to the nearest closed door. I weave us through the crowd and out
to the hallway. I pull him along while I find somewhere for us to be
alone.

The first door we come
to is locked. Same thing for the second one. We both sigh in relief
when the third door opens. As I tug him in after me, my heel catches
on the rug and I start to fall, but his grip on my hand saves me. He
holds me to him as if he’s afraid to let me go. Spinning me around,
he roughly slams his body into mine, banging my back into the wall.
His hands are everywhere.

Oh God . . . his
magical hands skim the side of my body. He then squeezes my hip. I’m
positive that I’ll have a bruise there tomorrow. I bite my lip to
suppress my moan, too afraid to break the silence because I don’t
want anything to stop this. There’s a reason why he hasn’t
uttered a single word. It will break the spell, it will give him
away. I don’t dare stop him. If this is the way he wants to talk,
then who am I to stop him. I love our new communication skills.

I manage to slide his
tux jacket off his sculpted shoulders, but when he starts kissing my
neck, I lose it and grasp his biceps to stay upright. I try to stay
quiet, but it’s impossible, it feels too good.

“Oh . . . God . . .
Ahh,” I moan out loud.

He makes the hottest
noise I’ve ever heard in the back of his throat. Even the sounds
he’s making are turning me on. I want him and I want him now. I
push him off me with as much force as I can manage. The puzzled look
he gives me makes me smirk. He thinks I’m stopping this. Ha! No way
that’s happening. It’s been too long since I’ve felt him inside
me. I lock the door.

I yank his shirt
roughly out of his tuxedo pants and drag him towards a nearby chair
in the room. I push him down. He sits in the chair and then slowly
slides down the zipper on the side of my dress.

His eyes never stray
from my face. The intensity in his stare makes me feel like the most
seductive woman in the world. Knowing that he finds me beautiful
gives me the courage to let my dress fall to the floor. I stand in my
Louboutin and La Perla purple lace panties. Nothing else.

Jax’s gaze slowly
leaves my faces as he takes in my naked breast, my tight stomach,
barely-there panties, and then finally my toned legs. I move slowly
to him, closing the distance between us. After the last step, I’m
standing directly in front of him, ready to melt just from him
watching me. I’ve never felt so wanted, so cherished in all of my
life. He hasn’t even touched me yet, but I can feel him all the way
to my core.

It suddenly dawns on me
that I’m out of my element. I haven’t been with anyone else in
six years. Jax has continued to sleep around with women who know
exactly what to do in and out of the bedroom. I’m not them. I’ve
only been with Jax. Standing in front of him in just panties, my
newly found courage melts away. My mind races. Is it possible to
forget how to have sex?

Luckily Jax takes the
lead. He runs one finger from my left hipbone all the way to the
right. With one look he gives me back all of the confidence that was
drifting away. He’s showing me that he needs me as desperately as I
need him. It’s his eyes, they give everything away, they always
have. That one finger leaves goosebumps in its wake. I’m ready to
convulse when his other hand traces the outline of my flat stomach.

“Please,” I moan
loudly.

Jax chuckles as his
hand falls away. I’m not even a little ashamed when I whimper in
protest. I’m done with his games. They went out the window when I
locked the door. I don’t want to go slow, the last six years has
been leading up to this moment.

I straddle his lap
while I unbutton his shirt. I bend my head down so I can press my
lips to each inch of skin that I expose. He finally breaks the
silence by letting out a moan. It’s my turn to chuckle. I slow my
pace of removing his shirt just to make him as frustrated as I am.
Too bad, Jax plays dirty. He roughly presses me harder into his lap.
His erection hits me exactly where we both want it.

I give up trying to
tease him and rip his shirt open. Buttons fly in every direction. My
panties get drenched just from the noise of the buttons scattering on
the marble flooring. I can’t wait for what’s going to come. He
yanks his arms out of his shirt, eager to be rid of it. I take
advantage of the fact that he’s leaning forward, into me, and press
my breast into his face.

Jax groans loudly when
I tug his hair to direct his mouth to my sensitive nipple. Too bad,
Jax has other plans in mind. His head falls back as he smirks at me.
It’s a smirk that tells me who is in charge. Him. I doubt I was
ever in charge in the first place.

He licks a trail all
the way from the middle of my breast to my neck, then nips at my jaw.
I’m panting as I rub my clit on his rock hard cock. My breathing is
embarrassingly fast and I’m positive that he can hear the loud
thumping of my heart. He kisses each corner of my mouth and when he
is close enough to my mouth that I can feel the heat from his breath,
I try to kiss him but he pulls back with the smug look that I
secretly love. I don’t love it now. Right now I hate it. Glaring at
him, I pull his hair hard, and angrily kiss him.

His stupid smug smile
reminds me of all the times he has given me whiplash lately. I want
to make him pay. I want him to be the one to beg. I want to rip off
our masks and stop pretending. I want him to know that I know it’s
him, that it will always be him. I’m done with all of these
charades. Resolve made, I unlatch my hands from around his neck and
get off his lap.