Beautifully Shattered (The Beautifully Series Book 1) (17 page)

Jax’s grin
immediately disappears. He opens his mouth then closes it again. I
can tell that he’s on the verge of saying something so I give him
the biggest smirk in my book. That’s right, he can’t talk. If he
does, all of this will drift away.

I have him. He knows it
and so do I. I lick my lips and slowly drag my hands up my body and
cup my breasts. I’m thankful that there’s enough light in here to
see his green eyes darken. He makes a move to stand, but I shake my
head. I run my hands through my hair and untie the bow and let the
mask meet the same fate as my dress.

Without saying
anything, I plead with Jax to do the same. I want this so badly, but
I know I won’t be satisfied unless he is here with me, really here.
I want Jax, not someone in a mask.

I wait for what seems
like hours, but it’s only seconds. After about a minute, our
awkward standoff is over. Jax shakes his head before tilting his head
down so that I can’t see his face. My mouth drops open. I can’t
believe he is so afraid to actually be here with me.

With fake confidence, I
pick up my dress, raise an eyebrow at him, and when he doesn’t make
a move towards me, I step back into it. I turn my back to him and zip
it up. Once my dress is in place, I pluck my mask off the floor and
put it back on as if I’m perfectly fine. I take a few calming
breaths before turning around to face him again.

I see the anguish in
his eyes, but I don’t care. He had his chance. Heck, the jerk had
me naked on his lap. Okay, nearly naked, but still, my barely-there
panties hardly count. I walk over to him still sitting in the chair,
watching every move I make.

I trace his lips with
my finger before saying, “Don’t worry, Jax, this wasn’t even
good enough to remember, so it definitely isn’t good enough to
mention again.”

He sharply inhales like
I punched him in the gut. I spin quickly on my heel to flee, but not
before I say, “This devil mask suits you better than the other one
you arrived in. Have a nice night.” I unlock the door and storm out
with my head held high.

I lean on the door to
collect all the different emotions racing through me. Ready to throw
up, I clutch my stomach. I’ve made a fool of myself. Of course The
God wouldn’t truly be with me. I’m so stupid. My body shakes as I
try not to pass out. My lungs aren’t working correctly. Slowly, I
count backwards from ten like Liv has told me to do when I’m
hyperventilating. It seems to work on my third attempt. The
sick-to-my-stomach feeling dissipates, replaced by anger.

I can’t believe he
just sat there and didn’t do anything. I’m proud of myself for
realizing that I couldn’t finish what I started unless he was there
with me, even if the moment was beyond wonderful. I give myself a
mental shake. No, it wasn’t wonderful, it wasn’t real. It was
just more games.

I’m need to head back
to the party so I can leave. I don’t want to be here anymore. Then
I hear something crash against a wall in the room I just left and a
loud, “Fuck.” I turn my head so that my ear is to the door.
Absolute silence. This is stupid, I don’t need to stand by a door
all night, listening to Jax lose it.

I take a step away,
fully intending on leaving the party, when the door swings open. A
pissed off Jax, still in his mask, looms in the doorway. He stares at
me with his mouth agape. I watch him, waiting to see if he will do
anything. I’m not even a little disappointed when nothing happens.
Shocker. I march down the hallway, this time not stopping, when I
hear him cuss again.

I’ve almost to the
crowd when I feel him behind me. An involuntary shudder runs through
me when I feel him press against me. He wraps one hand around my
waist and pulls me tighter against him so there’s no space between
us. I bite my lips hard enough that I taste blood to keep the moan in
that is begging to come out. He still wants me, I can feel the
evidence pressing against me.

“Come with me,” he
whispers into my ear before tracing my earlobe with his tongue. This
time the moan escapes. I barely manage a nod before he’s dragging
me towards the exit. We leave through a back door. His car waits with
his driver holding the door open for us, as if he was expecting us.

“Pretty confident.”

He raises my hand to
his mouth and kisses the inside of my palm. “Hopeful,” Jax
corrects.

He helps me in and
gathers the small train again before closing the door and going to
the other side. We sit in silence. My mind races to the point that I
can’t focus on anything to say. I have no idea where we’re going,
but as long as I’m not going home alone, I won’t complain.

Not wanting to look out
the window or at The God besides me, I opt for closing my eyes. I
feel him shift closer to me. Everything in me screams for me to open
them, but I can’t. I know if I face him, I will see the regret in
his eyes because he doesn’t want this, our time has passed. I’m
just Logan’s little sister now. He won’t ruin his friendship with
my brother for me. Sadly, I can’t even fault him for that. I’m
not worthy of him taking a risk on me.

Cupping my face, he
turns me towards him. Acting like a stubborn child, I squeeze my eyes
tighter, refusing to open them.

“Please look at me,
Ads,” Jax pleads.

I almost sigh at the
way he whispers his nickname for me, but instead I shake my head.

“Fine.” And without
any warning he crushes his lips to mine.

I try not to kiss him
back because my emotions are still rattled from earlier. I lose what
little self-control I was holding onto when Jax bites my lower lip.
It’s an instant turn-on. I kiss him back with everything I have. I
want him to know how much he means to me, how much I’ve wanted
this. I’m about to straddle his lap when he pulls back abruptly.

I open my eyes to see
what the heck just happened, and when I see that stupid smug grin, I
want to punch him.

“There’s those
beautiful eyes.” He winks at me. He surprises me by untying my mask
and throwing it onto the floor. “No more masks.” He then tosses
his away too.

“No more masks,” I
repeat.

I beam at him before
launching myself at him, kissing him hard. He groans loudly as he
gathers my dress around my hips. He licks my neck before pressing his
mouth back to mine. I moan into his mouth when his tongue meets mine
and dig my nails into his shoulders.

Framing my face with
his hands, he aims that intense stare that only Jax can manage
pulling off. “Stay with me?” he asks.

I nod while saying, “Of
course,” right as the car stops.

He smiles so brightly
that it reminds me of a child’s smile after Santa has visited. When
he gets out of the car, he speaks to his driver before helping me
out. Gripping my hand, he kisses the back of my palm, and then leads
us into his apartment building.

The elevator seems to
take it’s time carrying up to the top floor. Jax quickly tugs me
into his penthouse, never letting go of my hand as he leads me into
his bedroom. The only noise in is very sterile bedroom is my heels
clinking on the hardwood floor. Although his bedroom is impressive
with the dark oak bed, matching dressers, and an abstract painting on
his far wall, it always reminds me of an expensive hotel. It’s just
so clean, everything in perfect order. If I move one thing even
slightly, he will know. His panoramic wall, that leads to his private
balcony, shows the glistening lights from the city.

My smile drops when I
turn around to see Jax holding up one of his cotton T-shirts for me.
Um, so not what I was expecting him to grab. I raise an eyebrow at
him in question.

Jax laughs and tosses
the shirt at me. “For you to sleep in.”

Yeah, so not gonna work
for me. I move out of the way so the shirt falls to the ground in
front of me. I unzip my dress while saying, “Thanks, but I’ll
just sleep in what I always do.” I drop the dress to the floor.

Jax’s eyes darken in
an instant. He runs a hand through his hair and says through clenched
teeth, “Put the shirt on, Ads.”

Aw, he’s serious. How
cute.

“Make me,” I taunt.

I step out of my heels
and leans over his bed so he has the perfect view of my ass. Keeping
my back to him, I start to slide my panties down my legs before
sitting on his grey duvet. When I look at Jax, his mouth is securely
attached to the floor.

“I sleep naked, but
by all means, Jax, put the shirt on me.”

Rubbing both hands
roughly down his face he mutters, “Fuck” so quietly I almost
don’t hear him. Then he takes three long strides to his bed. Jax
wraps his hand around my ankle and drags me to him, making me fall
onto my back. He caresses my calfs with his fingertips. His hands
don’t roam higher than my knees and his eyes don’t stray from my
face. He’s enjoying watching me squirm around, beyond frustrated
for relief.

“Someone is
overdressed.”

Jax looks down at his
open shirt, revealing the sexiest abs in the world that I plan to
trace with my tongue shortly. “Well, since you started ripping my
clothes off of me, don’t you think you should finish the job?” he
asks in that deep bedroom voice of his.

Mmm, just his voice is
a turn on. If it wasn’t for the huge tent in his pants, I would
hate how much he effects me. It’s painfully obvious what he does to
me. As if on cue, his eyes drift from my face to my open thighs. He
licks his bottom lip in such a way that I imagine his tongue on my
clit.

“Wider,” Jax
commands. I obey without any thought.

All of the sudden Jax’s
lips are everywhere all at once. I can’t hold back any longer. I
moan loudly and thrash against his sheets when his mouth gets
dangerously close to my inner thighs.

“Yes . . . Please . .
.” I pant when Jax starts to nibble on my inner thighs. He’s so
close to my throbbing clit that I can feel his breath on my dripping
wet pussy. He’s so close but so far away at the same time.

“No!” I shout, not
caring in the least how I sound when Jax dips his tongue in my belly
button.

His eyes meet mine.
“You want me to stop?”

I can only manage to
whimper at him when he starts kissing a path up my body. He misses my
aching breast as he makes his way up my neck. He gives special
attention to my neck, making me moan embarrassingly louder. He kisses
a wet trail of small kisses from my jaw to my mouth. Automatically my
hands tangle into his silky hair as he kisses me long and hard.

“I need you,” I
whisper into his ear.

“You have me,” he
says as his mouth presses to my burning skin.

I moan in protest when
he leans off of me and stands. The words die on my suddenly dry lips
as I watch him unzip his pants. He pulls them and his briefs down at
the same time. My mouth waters at the sight of him.

“Six years has been
too long,” I mutter.

He bends down and grabs
a condom from the pocket of his discarded pants. My breathing becomes
nonexistent as he rolls it onto his impressive length.
Is
it possible that he’s gotten bigger? How is he going to fit?
All thoughts float away as he drags his naked body on top of mine.

He kisses me
passionately. “Are you sure?” Jax swipes the hair out of my face.

I have no words. I nod.

“I need to hear you,
Ads.”

I moan into his mouth
as his hands play with my pussy lips. I swallow twice before I’m
able to get my mouth to work. “I want this, I want us, Jax.”

My heart beats double
time when he stares into my eyes. He opens his mouth, but I kiss him,
stopping whatever he was about to say. I fear that he’s about to
tell me something that he can’t take back.

My body trembles as we
become one. I whimper in pain, but it’s soon swallowed up by Jax’s
tongue. He goes slow, and runs his hands down my sides. He pulls out
to the tip and eases back into me. It’s torture, but I never want
it to stop, it feels too good. He brushes my sweaty hair out of my
face and then interlocks our fingers. Jax brings his mouth closer to
mine, but doesn’t kiss me. Our face are so close together we’re
breathing for each other.

“Oh . . . God . . . ”
I moan loudly.

He wraps one of my legs
around his waist, allowing him to go deeper. He grasps one of my
hands and uses his free one to rub my clit. It’s too much. I
tremble as I hold my release in.

“Let go,” he
whispers into my ear before nipping on my earlobe.

I’m losing myself in
Jax. I never want to be found as long as he’s with me. I fight off
my release. I can’t go without him. He must see exactly what I need
because he squeezes my hand and kisses me, stealing my breath away.

“I’m there, Ads.
Let go,” he says against my lips.

I stare into his dark
eyes as everything else disappears beside us. The only thing I can
hear is Jax breathing heavily. I can feel his beating heart, it
matches mine. I bite his shoulder as we climax together. I’m
vaguely aware of his weight on top of me as I come off the high only
Jax can deliver.

He kisses my nose, his
signature kiss for me, and rolls off me. He walks into the bathroom
and I smile to myself when I hear the water running. He returns to
clean me up with a warm towel. The first time we slept together on
the night before my sixteenth birthday, I was embarrassed when he did
this, but each and every time we were done he would always insist on
cleaning me up. I’m glad that things haven’t completely changed
between us. Once he’s finished, he crawls over me, and pulls me
into to spoon me.

Kissing the back of my
neck, he whispers, “Good night, Ads.”

I’m barely able to
mumble, “Night.” The eight letter words that I wish I could say
to him are on the tip of my tongue, but they never come out. I don’t
want to ruin this moment. I have no idea what tomorrow will be like,
but tonight I’m happy in the arms of the man I love.