Back to You (23 page)

“
Call me later. What are
you doing tonight?” He asks, leaving me breathless from our kiss.
My eyes flutter open and he chuckles to himself.

“
I love the effect I have
on you.” I push him away.

“
Thanks. I actually have
something I need to do. But let me call you later,
okay?”

“
Okay. I’ll be around. I
love you.” I get in my car and he closes my door gently, then he
leans in the window and kisses my cheek.

“
I love you too.
Bye.”

I drive off, semiconscious
of what I’m doing. I think of a few different scenarios that may
happen. I turn on my stereo to try and drown my thoughts. When I
find nothing I like on the radio, after throwing a few curses out
there, I decide to scrimmage for a CD.
Just my luck.
I think. I grab my big
CD case from my passenger seat and carefully look through it, while
watching the road. I need a good upbeat song, at the moment. I find
my Def Leppard Greatest Hits CD and stick it in. I turn to “Pour
Some Sugar on Me” and blast it. This gets me moving and singing. I
shake my head in time and use my hand as a microphone.

When I get to, Maple Avenue, I turn right a
block by a cul-de-sac, park and shut off the engine. I let out a
deep sigh and get out of the car. There is a nice view to my left
of a dog park and a hill that looks like a fun hill to go skiing
down. There are neighborhood kids playing outside, riding their
bikes. I envy them. Life used to be much simpler back then.
Actually that is such a lie. It would have been much simpler if I
had a normal childhood. A little boy rides his bike a few houses
from me on the sidewalk but falls off. I rush to his side and help
him up. “Are you okay?” He steadies himself and looks at me, a big
cute smile on his face. “Yes, thank you. I lost my balance.” He has
big crystal blue eyes and chubby cheeks. His hair is light blond.
He’s definitely going to be a heartbreaker when he gets older. I
lean down to his level and ask “How old are you?”

“
I’m six. My name is
Christopher.” He hold his hand out for me to shake. I take it and
smile. “Nice to meet you. Where do you live Christopher?” He points
behind me, to the house I was standing in front of before I helped
him on his bike. It hits me then that this little boy is my step
brother, one I’ve never met. It makes sense, he has similar
features as me. “Are you supposed to be out here by yourself?” I
ask him. He looks guilty and puts his head down afraid I will rat
him out.

“
It’s okay, I won’t say
anything. Let’s get you home before it gets too dark.” I walk with
him as he slowly rides his bike.

“
Thank you for helping me
back on my bike.”

“
Abby. My name is Abby.” I
say. “And you’re very welcome. I never had anyone teach me to ride
a bike. I had to teach myself.” We reach the door and I ring the
doorbell. He puts his bike on the porch, leaning it on the kick
stand. The door swings open and there he is. He’s wearing a nice
Armani type black suit with a gray tie.

“
Here, I thought you might
need him.” I say, referring to Christopher. “He was riding his bike
and fell off.”

“
Yeah, she helped me back
on.” He said looking up at me, smiling. Then he raced in the
house.

“
I assume you didn’t come
here just to give me my son back did you. Unless you’re some kind
of psychic and knew he would fall off from the other side of town.
Thanks either way, for helping him.”

“
No, I’m not a psychic.
But it’s nice to know I have a little brother. He’s
adorable.”

“
I suppose you would have
eventually found out about him. What brings you here anyway?” I
cross my arms over my chest, nerves all over the place. But I’m
determined not to let it show on my face.

“
We need to
talk.”

Chapter 22

He gestures for me to come in. His house is
like something straight out of a magazine. It’s pretty big,
two-story with a vaulted ceiling. The walls are painted a cream
color with family pictures everywhere. I have a step brother and
step sister. They are both beautiful. My dad once said he always
wanted a big family, I guess he has one now. It’s kind of ironic
considering he ditched me and my sister. I guess we weren’t good
enough for him.

Stop it Abby, just talk to
him.
I chide myself. The living room is
like two of ours. It has a flat screen TV hanging on the wall and a
bookshelf of pictures and books. My dad doesn’t read so I’m
assuming they belong to my step mother. I take a gander at them,
curious what kind of books interests her. I see books by Danielle
Steel and some I don’t recognize.

“
Oh those are Jaclyn’s.
She reads that trashy nonsense. I never understood women and their
need to fill their brains with that stuff. Do you read?” He asks
noticing my interest in the library. I nod my head.

“
Some. Not as much as I
used to but when I can I read. And men don’t understand that women
like reading to escape their troubles. Or just for the pure
pleasure of it.” He snorts.

“
Well, I try not to
complain too much but when she starts a book its like I’m not even
there.”

“
Well, that’s what an Xbox
is for. Women have their books and men have their games. Brady used
to play and ignore me for hours.” He gives me a sympathetic look.
“Point taken.” We reach the kitchen where a pretty brunette is
cooking dinner. She’s tall with long hair loosely put up in a
pretty bun. She’s wearing an apron over her clothes. She’s thin
with a model face.
Damn, he’s
shallow

“
Jaclyn, dear, this is my
daughter Abby.” My dad introduces us. She wipes her hands on her
apron before taking my hand.

“It’s so nice to meet you Abby.” I smile
politely. I really want to hate her but she’s so sweet and
likeable. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

“
We are going to be in my
office if you need me.” He kisses the top of her head.

We head up the stairs. The staircase swirls
around in a fancy fashion. Again, there are more pictures that
accent the walls. I guess it makes the walls nice instead of bare.
I can’t help but notice the little girl looks a little like me when
she was a baby. She’s so adorable.

“
Abby, come on.” My dad
pulls me away from the pictures. It saddens me that we never did
family pictures, at least not that many. We only took a few before
he ran off with the hot model. “This way please.” He says as we
round a corner and pass a couple of bedrooms. We stop at a door
that says
My Office
on the front. Huh, original. He opens the door and I feel a
draft of cold, which gives me goose bumps.

“
Are you cold?” He asks.
Observant.

“
A little.” I say, as I
pull up a chair in front of a huge wooden brown desk. I look around
and see awards and certificates. “So, this is your office?” He sits
down in his leather chair and puts on some eye glasses, which suits
him very much. He looks sophisticated.

“
Yes, I use this room as
my office. I just remodeled it recently.”

“
What are the awards for?”
He looks over his glasses to where I’m looking and says “Oh well,
those are certificates. I do part time psychiatric work. I counsel
people too.” Wow, he is very successful. He leans back in his chair
eyeing me skeptically.

“
So what brings you to my
side of town?” He clasps his hands together and keeps them in front
of him.

“
I want to apologize for
the way I acted the other night. I was really out of line. I’ve
been thinking about the situation and Sarah moving in. It’s hard
for me to accept that you have changed all of a sudden, but I’m
giving you the benefit of the doubt. Mainly for Sarah’s sake. It’s
important for her that you two get along. I guess what I’m saying
is, I want to give you an honest chance. I need a father too. Maybe
we can have a good relationship. I just want to know, why? Why did
you leave us all these years? Why didn’t you bother contacting us,
to see how we were doing?” Words just keep tumbling out of my
mouth. I’ve had years of wondering, and the questions were often
endless. He asked me once to move in with him but it was when he
first left and I was young and wanted my mommy. But he never
thought about us again. At least that I know of. He taps his finger
over his pursed lips then leans forward, placing his elbows on his
desk and looking me in the eyes.

“
I’m sorry Abigail. I
truly am. I know I screwed up. The honest truth is, I wasn’t a good
father back then. Your mother and I fought a lot. I was a real
asshole to her, especially after what happened. I blamed your
mother for a lot of things and I wasn’t happy. I know I shouldn’t
have taken it out on you and your sister. When you and Lucas walked
in, I knew I’d screwed up beyond repair. I’m sorry Abby. That
wasn’t supposed to happen. I guess after your mother and I lost our
first baby, it wrecked me. I can’t change the past. Believe me; I
would if it was possible. I made a lot of mistakes. But now I want
to make it right. I am looking forward to having Sarah here. It
will give me a chance to get to know her.” He looks away, and I see
wetness near his eyes, which makes me feel worse.

“
Dad, how do you let go of
the past? There are some things I can’t forget and it’s going to
tear Lucas and I apart if I don’t.” He looks at me, wiping his eyes
with the back of his hand.

“
You and Lucas huh? What
happened to Brady?”

“
It’s over. It was always
Lucas. I’ve always loved him. I was just too young to understand
what that was.” He nods.

“
Yeah, I understand that.
Listen honey, Abby I mean. If it’s something you guys can work out,
do it. Life is too short to be miserable. If it’s what I think it
is, you can get past it. He was young and so were you. Making
choices that big is hard when you’re 15. But you need to talk to
him about it. Did Sarah tell you about this weekend? It’s a big
family gathering. Your aunts and uncles and cousins, which you
haven’t seen in years, will be there. Bring Lucas, it will be fun.
Everyone would love to see you.”

“
Yea she told me. Lucas is
going to come. But you’re right; I do need to talk to him.
There is so much I never got a chance to say to him about it, and I
just left it stewing in the back of my mind all these years. I
think it's time I let it all out. I hope he understands how I
feel." I pause.
“Do you ever miss mom?” He is
caught off guard at my question and leans back in his chair making
it move back and forth.

“
I do, but we were never
good together. She deserves to be happy, with someone who treats
her right. Speaking of which, has she ever dated anyone?” I sadly
shake my head.

“
No, she never did. I
think she needs to move on but I’m not sure she wants to. Maybe
dating is hard for her. Guys can jump from woman to woman with no
second thought. But girls, women…excluding me have a hard time. Why
is that?” I ask, genuinely concerned my mother might end up alone
for the rest of her life.

“
Women have a tendency to
wear their heart on their sleeve. Now I’m not saying all men are
like that but men, in general, can get over break ups and divorces
faster. It’s just the nature of the male species. They don’t get as
attached, well most don’t. Women are more sensitive and passionate
whereas men are pigs.” He says it with such conviction; I wonder if
he’s talking about himself. That’s too true. Maybe that’s why she
won’t date, she’s afraid of getting hurt again. Still, it sucks to
think of her being alone. I lean back in my chair, looking up at
the ceiling.

“
Maybe she needs closure.”
I state not looking at him.

“
Didn’t I give her enough
closure when I left? I still care about her and want her to be
happy. I never meant to hurt her or you for that matter. You were
so young to have seen that. To think, what you would have went
through after I left.”

“
I had Lucas. He’s the
only reason I didn’t go completely insane. He helped me through
it.” I push the memories aside from that day but think about how
lucky I was to have had him around. Maybe I should forget the past;
it isn’t worth fighting over and losing him.

“
You both had a lot in
common. I’m glad he was there for you. Forget the past.”

“
His father was abusive
too, apparently. I only recently found out.”

“
He was an alcoholic, it’s
not uncommon.” He states as a matter of fact.

“
I wasn’t there for him.
He leant me his shoulder to cry on over you everyday for awhile. I
even cursed at him when I was having a bad day. I didn’t realize
how much he suffered, but who was there for him when he needed a
shoulder?” He gets out of his chair and sits at the corner of his
desk facing me. I avoid eye contact, looking anywhere but at
him.

“
Let me ask you something.
You said that you only recently found out about the abuse, right?”
I look at him and nod. “Okay, well I think that he didn’t want to
burden you with his problems so he kept it to himself. Maybe he
dealt with the problems in his life privately, but he knew you were
hurting and needed comforting, so he put your needs
first.”