Back to You (18 page)

“
I was just wondering why
he is eating lunch with my girlfriend.” “Maybe because you weren’t
there for me the last few days, and he was.” I storm out of the
cafeteria, angry.

Chapter 18

Still angry about lunch with Brady, I get
home and go straight to my room. I stay in there most of the
evening, reading in my bean bag chair. It calms me. I hear voices
outside my door but I don’t get up to see who it is. Of course it
doesn’t matter because Lucas pokes his head in.

“
Hey, can I come in?” I
nod and he opens the door and walks in, closing the door behind
him. I stand up and place my book on my desk.

“
I’m sorry about today. I
tried to stay quiet.” I give him a puzzled look because he can’t
possibly think I am mad at him. Brady is the one who was rude and
disrespectful. I walk into his open arms and wrap my own arms
around his waist. I breathe in his musty and soapy scent. “It’s not
your fault. You have nothing to apologize for.” I mumble into his
chest. He holds me tightly and rests his chin on my
head.

“
I love you Abby.” I look
up into his beautiful green eyes and see nothing but love and
passion. I break away and sit on the bed in a huff.

“
Look I’m sorry he was
such an asshole. I didn’t expect to see him since he’s been MIA
lately.” He shakes his head and sits on the bed next to me staring
straight ahead. “Honestly, it’s okay. I would have been the same
way. I can see he’s jealous and it shows he cares. Maybe you should
talk to him. Ask him where you two stand, maybe he’ll be up front
about him and Brooke. If they are actually “together” so to speak.
I don’t want to cause more problems for you. I know you’ve got
enough on your plate right now.” I shake my head in
disbelief.

“
No, no don’t start this.
I want you. I don’t care where we stand. There’s no “us” with me
and Brady anymore. It’s over. I’m done.” Tears start stinging my
eyes. I’m frustrated and don’t know what to do. I know I need to
end our relationship already so Lucas and I can get on with ours.
I’m tired of sneaking around. He pulls me close and kisses the top
of my head. “I love you Abby. I won’t leave you, I promise.” I
close my eyes and hold on tight, letting all of my tears flow
freely from the past week. It’s a relief when I have no more left
to shed. I smile and kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you.” He smiles
and kisses me briefly on the lips before he heads home.

“
I know something’s
bothering you. Want to talk about it?” My mother asks after dinner.
I help clear the table, washing the dishes and pack leftovers
away.

“
Yes actually. I do.” We
both stop what we are doing and sit down at the kitchen
table.

“
Shoot.” I let out a
breath before telling her everything.

“
Lucas and I slept
together. We are sort of dating, each other. I lied when I said I
was staying the night at Brooke’s house last weekend. I stayed with
him instead. I know it’s immature and was irresponsible of me. I
get it. I’m guilty. But mom, I love him. I never stopped loving him
all those years ago. But there’s more. When we went to the party a
few weeks ago, I left with Lucas. Brooke got really drunk and a
classmate took her home and Brady was too drunk to drive, he
crashed there, so Lucas took me, only we didn’t come home right
away. We went to IHOP for breakfast. We’ve been sneaking around for
awhile. I’m sorry I lied. But I’m breaking up with Brady and
telling him and Brooke everything.”

My mother is silent and I can’t help but
wonder what she’s thinking. It almost frightens me, but I know I
deserve whatever punishment she gives out, since I’ve lied to her
all this time. I’m suddenly kicking my own ass. If anyone would
understand, it’s my mother. I’ve always been able to talk to her
about anything; certain she would never judge me. After all, if you
can’t confide in your mother, then who can you confide in? Brooke
was not an option, at the moment. Besides, my mother is pretty
cool, and even though she gives me grief about some things I tell
her, I can always count on her to be truthful and supportive.

“
Say something mom.
Please.” I plead. She looks at me and sighs, taking my hand in
hers, which soothes me, yet makes me feel worse.

“
Well, first of all, I’m
very disappointed that you felt you couldn’t talk to me about all
of this. You came to me after your dream and I was supportive.
Honey, I know what it’s like to have to make these decisions but if
you found yourself stuck in a situation you are in now, well, I’d
hope you would have enough sense to come to me sooner. Looks like
you need some words of encouragement. You have enough family and
friends around you to go to. I didn’t have that when I was your
age. My father was an alcoholic and he didn’t care about my
problems. My mother had so much to deal with. I kept everything
locked up and it nearly drove me insane. Please, even if you don’t
want to talk to me about it, find someone else who will listen.”
She gently caresses my cheek and smiles sadly.

“
I know you’re dealing
with a lot but you need to tell Brooke and Brady about this and it
needs to be sooner, rather than later.” She lets out a chuckle and
I laugh too not sure what we’re laughing about but it feels good.
“Why exactly are we laughing mom?”

“
I knew you couldn’t
resist the hottie with a nice body.” I stand up and walk over to
the sink to finish the dishes, appalled at her comment. She laughs
harder at me and I throw the dish rag at her. “I can not believe
you just said that mom. Seriously.” She walks over and helps me dry
the dishes, while I hand wash.

“
Oh honey come on, have a
sense of humor. I just like to see you cringe. It’s my job to
embarrass you.” I wrinkle my nose in disgust and she flicks it with
her finger.

“
Well its working thanks.”
We work in sync until the kitchen is spotless and I’m drenched in
soapy water. I plop down in the chair again tired, ready to retire
for the night.

“
So, have you?” She leaves
it open for me to finish the thought that’s probably filling up her
mind. Damn, this is the last place I wanted to go. But I don’t hold
anything back.

“
Yes. But before you say
anything, we used protection. And don’t play the twenty question
game because I’m not in the mood for that. Sarah has already tried
it. Just know, he was gentle and patient. And oh so good.” She
raises her eye brow in question. “You told Sarah?” I laugh at the
fact that she’s more concerned with me telling my sister than with
me having sex. It’s kind of amusing. “Mom, you’re baffling
sometimes. And yes, I told her. She asked me a million questions.
But, I like to keep some things private.”

“
So why am I baffling?”
She asks curiously. The truth is, I love how she’s so different
from most mothers. She’s more like a friend whom I can confide in
with everything and know without a doubt she would support me. I
guess not having parents to open up to really made her a better
person. I smile at her.

“
For starters, you’re more
concerned about me telling Sarah about my sex life than the fact
that I had sex. But hey I’m not complaining. I’m lucky to have a
supportive and loving mother.”

“
Yea, I’m a lot more
liberal than most that’s for sure. But promise me something. I want
you to be careful. You’re still young and will make mistakes. But
when it comes to sex, please use protection. Every time. You don’t
want a baby this young. You need to live life and enjoy your youth
first.” I frown at the thought of my mother going through such
difficult times with no one to turn to for help. I nod and lay my
head on her shoulder.

“
I promise mom. We’ll be
careful. Thanks for being so cool about everything. I love you.” I
kiss her cheek and get up, ready for a shower before
bed.

“
By the way-“ My mother
says, stopping me by the door. I turn around to face her wondering
what she’s going to say.

“
I want you to invite
Lucas over for dinner soon.” Wow, is she trying to kill
me?

“
Why, so you can hit on
him? He’s not into older women mom. Sorry to crush your disturbing
dreams.” She laughs, shaking her head.

“
No, I just want to
interrogate him and whatnot. I promise I won’t embarrass you too
badly.” I groan inwardly and bang my head against the wall. “Do I
have to?” I say in a whiny voice, which is annoying.

“
Yes, honey. It’s only
common for the parents to want to be more social with the
significant others. And it’s not like Lucas doesn’t already know
me. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to be accepted into our
family.”

She makes a point that I can’t argue. He’s
always been well liked by my mother ever since we were kids. I may
just have to warn him though that she has a tiny crush on him. I
laugh to myself, thinking about his likely reaction he’d have.
“Okay fine. But I mean it, hands off.” She grins and wiggles her
eye brows. “Okay, well I’m off to take a shower sicko. Goodnight.”
I walk into the bathroom ignoring her laughter, which follows
me.

The rest of the week flies by and I have
still heard any word from Brooke. At this point, I’m getting a
little pissed at her. She hasn’t had the decency to call or text.
She’s avoided me in school all week and it’s pretty obvious she’s
guilty. Brady has been a pain in my ass too. He acts like a slug
that won’t get off me. It sucks. No matter what, they are still my
friends and if they want to be together, I won’t stop them. And I
still don’t want to lose them as friends either.

Last night, Lucas came over and we watched
movies in my living room. My mother had other plans, so we had the
house to ourselves, which didn’t bother me the least. I didn’t have
to worry about my mother making eyes at him. “So your mom likes me
huh?” He asked as we were sitting together on the couch sharing a
bowl of popcorn. I punched his shoulder and made a face at him. He
laughed at me and said “What? I think it’s cute. I just hope she
doesn’t take it too personal when I tell her I’m not into MILF’s.
But she is pretty hot for a mom.” I threw popcorn at him.

“
Seriously Lucas, that’s
my mother! I don’t think of her as a MILF. Well, maybe, she is hot.
I actually hope to be that hot when I’m older. But still, it’s my
mother.” I laugh at myself for saying something so absurd. My
mother is beautiful. She’s tall with long legs and gorgeous hazel
eyes. Her hair is usually in a bun but when it’s down, it reaches
past her mid back in perfect waves.

He smiles at me showing his perfectly
straight white teeth. “Oh I am pretty positive you’ll be that hot.
And by the way, your mom’s not old.” Yeah, she acts like a teenager
sometimes. I forget she’s my mother. I’m not sure if that’s a good
thing or a bad thing. At least she doesn’t dress like one though.
Then, I think I’d have a problem. When we finished watching the
movies we had picked out, we went to our favorite spot, just by the
river and lay down on the hood of his car, gazing up at the stars.
It was a perfect night.

This morning I woke up feeling stiff. I must
have slept wrong because my neck hurt when I moved to get up. At
breakfast my mother asked me how my night went and I laughed. “Oh
it was fun. Sorry you missed it. But Lucas is looking forward to
having dinner here soon.” Now she laughs and says “Well, why
doesn’t he come over tonight? I’ll fry some fish.”

“
No, I have plans, but
maybe tomorrow?” I ask and she smiles, nodding.

“
What are your plans?” I
actually didn’t have any set in stone but I have an idea of what
I’m going to do. It’s a sneaky plan. “Oh the usual, just going to
visit some friends I haven’t seen in awhile.” It’s not a lie, but I
don’t tell her the whole truth either. She tilts her head as if
she’s trying to figure out what I’m scheming. I hear my phone buzz
on the kitchen table. I pick it up and read it.

“
Hey
sexy
.” My face heats up.

“
Hi
stud
.”

“
Are we meeting up
tonight?”

“
Later. I have something
to do first
.”

“
Boo. Okay well text me
then. Love you.”
He’s such a baby
sometimes.

“
Relax, I’ll see you
later. Love you too
.”

“
Let me guess, loverboy?”
My mom pulls me out of my daze. I look up at her. “Ha. Ha. You’re
correct.”

“
May I just say, I love
that you’re so happy. I’ve never seen you this happy when you were
with Brady.” I agree, I was happy but never really happy. I’m
always on cloud nine with Lucas. He makes me feel like I’m worth
something. He’s always believed in me. And the way he looks at me,
like I’m beautiful just makes me feel appreciated and worth
it.

“
Yeah, I loved Brady but I
don’t think I was ever in love with him.”

“
Yeah, I see that. Have
you told him about you and Lucas yet?” I shake my head and look
down at my hands in my lap. “No. Not yet.” She gives me a “what are
you waiting for” look. “I will, quit looking at me like that.” She
gets up and goes into the living room. I go to my room and read for
a little while.

“
Hey Abby, I was going to
go to the mall. Wanna come?” I look up from my book and think about
it for a minute. Then I put my book down on my desk and grab my
keys. “I’m driving.”