Back to You (21 page)

“
I said you’re right.” I
say through gritted teeth.

“
Say it again.” She leans
back in her seat, taking a sip of her drink.

“
You’re right.”

“
Again.” Now she’s pissing
me off.

“
Screw you, I’m done.” I
place both elbows on the table and lean on my arms, taking a drink
from my straw. The hostess eyes our table every once in awhile when
she thinks I’m not looking, but she doesn’t really know that I
notice her every move.

After we drop Lucas off at home, I shower
and throw my pajamas on, then say goodnight to my mother and Sarah.
I climb into bed and send a quick goodnight text to Lucas.

“
You know Sarah’s right,
don’t you? About your dad? ”
My smile
fades.

“
I know, I just hate
admitting it. I’m older and should be wiser. When did she become
the smarter one?”

“
When she pretended to
date me. ;)”
Oh right, how can I
forget?

“
Ha. Ha. You got jokes I
see. Okay, see you tomorrow.”

“
Oh come on, you know it
wouldn’t have lasted. I never wanted her, not for a second.”
Uh huh.

“
Please, you like them
younger, admit it.”

“
Nope. Well yeah but not
that young.”

“
You can always make me
laugh when life sucks. Thank you Lucas.”
I
smile and lay on my back, bringing my knees up to my
chest.

“
When are you going to
talk to Brady and Brooke?”
He
asks.

“
I’m not sure. I guess I
can’t ignore them forever. I’m just not ready to face the music
yet.”
Or admit that I’ve been
unfaithful.

“
You really should soon
though. I know how much they mean to you, even if I’m not all that
fond of Brady. I’ll deal with it. Maybe one day we can all get
along.”
He would do anything to please me,
even if he doesn’t like it.

“
I love you, you know
that?”

“
So I’ve been told a few
times. Now get some sleep hotness. See you at school.
Muah!”

“
Goodnight.”

As I close my phone and place it back on my
night table, I realize there’s no such thing as a “quick” text to
Lucas. But, our conversation made me feel a little better about
everything. He could always see the good in a bad situation. I am
lucky to have him by my side. Even as my best friend, he was always
the one to hold a light to my dark sky. After we saw my father
cheating with another woman, in our home no less, Lucas somehow
helped me through it. He comforted me for days, while I cried like
a baby. He listened to my constant ranting and raving about my
father’s unfaithfulness. He even took the brunt of my screaming
when I was having a bad day. He was just there for me and that’s
all I needed. I would have fallen apart had he not been there to
distract me.

Over the years it got better, or at least
easier to deal with the pain. We were both alike. We both came from
broken families-he had an abusive (albeit I never knew it until
recently) alcoholic father and mine was a cheater. At least his
mother was able to move on and find a wonderful man to help raise
Lucas and his siblings. Mine never did. This is the last thought I
had, before drifting off to sleep, but not without picturing
Lucas’s face. If anyone could see me, they would totally wonder
what the big grin on my face was for. Lucas always manages to keep
me smiling.

On the way to school I made a stop to
Starbucks to get coffee and a muffin. I felt refreshed and for the
first time in a long time, I feel things were going to be okay. I’d
managed to avoid Brooke and Brady. I even turned off my phone to
dodge all calls and texts. After lunch however, I wasn’t so lucky.
Standing at my locker was Brady. From the way he was positioned,
said a lot about how he was ready for a fight. So I slowly walk up
to him.

“
I guess I can’t win this
time. You caught me.” I sigh feeling defeated and tired of
fighting.

“
No, not anymore. Though
you’re quite a competitor.” He says as he moves away from my locker
so I can open it. He is standing a little too close for my liking.
He must sense my discomfort, putting some distance between
us.

“
I want to talk about this
Abby.” He says stuffing his hands in his pockets. I shut my locker,
a little more forcefully than intended and look at him.

“
So talk.” I cross my arms
over my chest, defiantly.

“
Not here. Let’s go for a
little ride, I’ll drive.” I give him a skeptical look.

“
What about football
practice?”

“
I’ll skip.” I narrow my
eyes, but see the pleading look in his, so I soften a
bit.

“
Fine. Let’s go.” We get
to the parking lot and I text Lucas, letting him know I’m going for
a drive with Brady to talk. My phone buzzes in my pocket and I take
it out as Brady opens my door. I get in and mumble a “thanks”. He
shuts the door and I open my phone to read the text.

“
Good luck babe. It will
be fine.”

“
Thanks. I love
you.”

“
I love you
too.”

“
Talking to Lucas?” Brady
asks, startling me. I look up at him and nod. He laughs and says
“Relax, it’s not my business.”

“
So why did you ask then?”
I retort, and then regret snapping at him. I should chill and
listen to what he has to say. Hopefully when it’s all said and done
we can be friends. Is it even possible to be friends with an ex?
It’s the most famous question I hear after someone breaks up. But
in our case, I think we always knew we wouldn’t be in it for the
long haul. I still care about Brady and want the best for him. But
I know I’m not the best for him. He drives out of the school
parking lot and gets out on the side street.

“
Where are we going?” I
ask. He looks at me and grins.

“
We’re just going for a
little drive, not far.” We drive down a hill that makes my stomach
plunge into my throat. It’s a thrill. I feel a little uneasy, the
silence is deafening.

“
So what do you want to
say? We might as well talk. I hate awkward silence.”

“
You first.” He says not
looking at me. Then he thinks about it and starts talking. “Okay,
honestly I’m really sorry for how you found out about Brooke and
me. That wasn’t supposed to happen. But more importantly I’m sorry
for not being honest with you.” He takes a deep breath and
continues, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter than
necessary. “I’m really sorry. Brooke and I have kind of..Well, it’s
just that I have been.” I look at him and let out a little
chuckle.

“
Okay Brady, just spit it
out. You’re not making much sense. Be honest, I’m not going to bite
your head off.”

“
Okay. So Brooke and I
have gotten closer as friends over the years. But just recently,
like in the last couple of weeks, we’ve gotten closer. I really
like her Abby. It’s not something I planned, it just happened. But
I think I want to be with her.” I look him with wide
eyes.

“
You think?”

“
Okay, I want to be with
her. It’s not that I don’t like you anymore or love you for that
matter. But she’s different. I have a lot of fun with her.” I try
not to let that comment bother me. But in truth, our fun is
different and I can understand where he’s coming from. Our fun
always consisted of getting drunk at parties or me watching him
play XBOX while I felt ignored for hours on end. Maybe things are
different for him and Brooke and he doesn’t bother with useless
game consoles. I’m sure they have fun getting drunk together
though, and probably high even. I don’t really care for
either.

“
Face it Brady, we never
loved each other. Or maybe we did in a different way, not the
forever kind of way.” I say. He raises his brow at me in
question.

“
So, you’re not mad? I
mean this pretty much means that you and I are kind of over. It
doesn’t bother you? How can you not be mad about my cheating?” Here
goes.

“
Because Brady, you’re not
the only one that cheated. I can’t be mad at you for doing
something I did as well.” We finally get to a gravel road and turn
off on a deserted street, which has nothing but trees and some
grass. He kills the engine and turns his body toward mine. This
place is pretty deserted. You can get killed out here and no one
would know.

“
Abby.” I snap out of my
sick and twisted thoughts and look at him.

“
Sorry, what did you
say?”

“
Um, you were talking
actually. I was just trying to bring you out of your daze so you
could finish.”

“
Oh. Right. So
anyway-“

“
What were you thinking
about?” He interrupts leaning over the steering wheel, looking at
me.

“
It’s nothing. I was just
having a weird eerie moment.” I answer not meeting his gaze. He
laughs.

“
Let me guess, you think I
brought you out here to leave you stranded once I found out some
juicy information about you?” Almost, but I don’t feel like
correcting him.

“
Something like that.
Anyway, I’m not mad because I did the same thing to you, with
Lucas. I’m sorry Brady. Lucas was my first love and I guess I never
got over him.”

“
You never wanted to. No
one forgets their first love. I guess I should have realized it. We
had good times but I don’t think it would have lasted forever. Well
I thought it could have, until I realized I liked Brooke more than
just friends. She feels really bad by the way.” I look away for a
minute before meeting his eyes again.

“
Yeah, she really acts
like it. She hasn’t talked to me for days prior to the walk-in and
now all of a sudden she feels bad. I don’t feel like she cares
about our friendship.” He puts his hand up to stop me from flapping
my jaws. I take the hint and close my mouth.

“
Actually, she wanted to
tell you but I told her she should wait. I wanted to tell you
first.”

“
Well, you both got to
tell me.” I remember the look on Brooke’s face. I could have
mistaken her for a corpse. Her face was white as a ghost and she
didn’t even blink her eyes. I feel bad now that I know she wanted
to tell me. It must have been why she avoided me all those times,
afraid she’d spill the beans and probably make matters
worse.

“
So let me ask you, did
you and Lucas have sex?” Oh that’s subtle.

“
Yes.” I bluntly reply. He
looks shocked for a brief second.

“
Really? You’re not a
virgin anymore?” I laugh and shake my head.

“
Huh. Well that’s an
interesting concept. How the Hell did he pull that off? You never
wanted to with me.” He sounds a bit insulted and it makes me feel a
little guilty. For over three years I turned him down, when it got
too far. I could do the whole religious excuse but that would be
pointless since it has nothing to do with it. Well it was more of a
personal choice in the beginning but that was before I realized the
only person I wanted to be intimate with was not in this
car.

“
To be honest, I just
wasn’t ready. But the real reason is that somewhere, somehow I
always knew I wanted my first time to be with Lucas. I didn’t want
to settle for just anyone. I knew it wouldn’t be fair to you if I
wasn’t really into it. I’m sorry I gave you no sexual life. It was
more of a personal thing than anything else.”

“
It makes sense. And don’t
apologize Abby, we both messed up. But I think it’s better this
way. I still want to be friends. Can we do that, or would it be too
awkward?” I think we’re both mature enough to handle this without
letting it be an issue.

“
Absolutely. I mean, you
are dating my best friend so we’re kind of stuck with each other.
It will take some getting used to I have to admit but not in a bad
way.”

“
I know what you mean. We
could just go along like we’ve been doing all these years, it’s not
like it’s much different. We haven’t been having sex anyway, so
really it’s almost the same.”

“
Ha. Ha. Very funny.” I
hit him playfully.

“
Are you happy Abby? Does
Lucas make you happy?” I stare out the windshield with a goofy grin
on my face.

“
Yes, he really does. He’s
always understood me, even better than myself. I can see a future
with him.” He nods looking down at his hands, distracted. “What’s
wrong?” I ask him.

“
I’m sorry I wasn’t always
there for you. I know you had a rough life with your dad and Sarah
and I didn’t always help things. I just hope Lucas treats you the
way you deserve, the way I should have treated you.” He looks truly
upset and I put my hand on his shoulder.

“
You did the best you
could. Lucas just understood what I was going through. His dad was
a drunk and apparently abusive as well. He knew how to comfort me
and listen. I don’t blame you for anything.” He nods and starts the
car again.

“
Well we should head back.
But I’m glad we talked. I think we’re gonna be great as friends.”
He says and smiles. I take his hand in mine and squeeze it
gently.