Back in the Soldier's Arms (15 page)

“I don’t blame you anymore,” she told him, stepping away from him. Needing to distance herself physically. “I’m still angry, but I don’t blame you, Daniel. Not now.”

He didn’t say anything. Probably had no idea what to say.

“I’ll be ready soon,” she said, her voice louder this time so Gabby could hear if she was listening.

Penny knew Daniel was watching her. A hot flush hit her cheeks as she walked away, because she knew he was probably checking her out. Was as aroused as she was from being so close to one another yet so unable to do anything about it.

She needed to get out of the house.

Breakfast was going to be a good distraction, but their date tonight?

The thought of dancing with Daniel had her stomach leaping like snakes had taken possession of it. After feeling him behind her, touching him, being so close she could almost taste him … it was too much for her to resist if the temptation presented itself. And it would.

Maybe going on a date with her husband wasn’t such a smart move.

Unless she was actually ready to see if they could still be the Danny and Pen of old again. Just like old times.

Penny groaned as she peeled off her clothes and jumped in the shower.

Being married wasn’t supposed to be this hard.

And being on the verge of happy wasn’t supposed to feel so traitorous.

If she did let Daniel back in again, forgave him for his mistake and tried her hardest to move forward, to forget, would that mean she’d compromised on her principles? Mean that she thought it was okay for a husband to be unfaithful?

Or would it mean that she was big enough to forgive for a sin she’d always thought was the worst a partner could make? That she was a better, more open, loving person than she’d ever thought she could be in a situation that had almost broken her heart into more pieces than a jigsaw puzzle?

Penny let the water run over her face, eyes shut to the bliss of the shower.

Whatever happened, she was ready to forgive herself.

Finally.

And it was herself she needed to forgive in order to move on.

If her heart told her to make room for her husband again, then she was prepared to accept it.

The thought alone made her chest start to pound, made it sound as if the sea was roaring in her ears.

Being in Daniel’s arms again would be like finding a long-lost loead�€ve, one who it felt like she’d been pining for all her life.

She needed to forgive herself, stop shouldering the blame for what had happened, for abandoning her husband, and give herself the opportunity to embrace the future.

“They were the best pancakes ever.”

Daniel watched as Penny dipped her head to rest on top of Gabby’s. She rubbed Gabby’s belly and laughed.

“How do you fit so much in there?”

Gabby shrugged. “I don’t know. Sometimes I think I might pop.”

Daniel slung his arm across the back of the booth seat, his other arm raised to bring the coffee cup to his lips. Strong, black coffee that took the edge of the too-little sleep he’d had last night.

He’d lain awake for hours. Thinking. Trying to figure out what he could do, what he’d do if nothing worked out as he hoped it would.

He’d already lost so much this year. His friends that he saw everyday, the workmates he thought of as extended family—they’d been eliminated from his daily life as if he’d never see them again. The fact that he’d only signed up for an eight-year term didn’t make walking away any easier. Not after almost a decade of serving with the same guys.

So the thought of losing this happy little family scene … it was more painful than he could ever find words to describe. It would always have hurt losing Penny. No matter when it happened, it would take a part of him that could never heal or regenerate.

There was nothing in the world he’d say no to, nothing he wouldn’t sacrifice for either of his girls.

Moments like this were worth anything he had to give. “Any more pancakes here?”

Gabby groaned and rubbed at her belly. “No,” she said, knowing the question was directed at her.

The waitress laughed and took their plates. “I told you two would be plenty, didn’t I?”

Gabby giggled and leaned deeper against her mom.

“We’ll grab the check, thanks.” Daniel smiled up to the waitress before bringing his attention back to his family.

“What’s on the agenda for the rest of the day?”

“We could go see Uncle Tommy,” suggested Gabby.

Daniel resisted the urge to laugh. She had tiny smears of maple syrup tickling against the edges of her mouth.

“We could, or maybe we could all go see a movie together?”

The look in Penny’s eyes told him it was a good suggestion.

“Like a family movie day?” Gabby asked. “Yeah, just like that,” he replied.

“I think that sounds like a great idea, but maybe we should take a walk first. I’ll never fit back into my work clothes if I keep eating like this while I’m home.”

Gabby laughed. Daniel tried to join in, but it didn’t come naturally. Every mention, every thought about Penny going back, leaving them again, made sadness beat through his body.

Knowing that it’d be months before they could sit like this again.

Knowing the risks of her going back overseas with her unit.

ld �€01C;Mommy, what do you wear to work?”

Gabby’s question was innocent enough, but Daniel could see it had put Penny on high alert. No matter how much she tried to hide it.

“You know what? When I come home next, I’ll wear my work clothes off the plane. That way you can see them.”

Gabby raised her eyebrows. “Are they secret clothes?”

Daniel found himself holding his breath while Penny sighed in response.

“Not secret, darling, just different, that’s all,” Penny told her. “When I’m home for good, I’ll tell you all about the clothes I wear and the work I did, okay?”

Gabby looked as if she’d lost interest, but Daniel hadn’t. He knew why Penny wanted to shield their daughter from the work she did, but he also knew how much pleasure Gabby would have, one day, in hearing about the work her mother had done. What she’d been involved in.

“How about once Mommy’s back for good, we tell you stories about all the work we both did?” Daniel suggested, gazing at Penny. He could see from the way she was watching him that she knew what he meant. That he wanted to sit down as a family, together, and talk about the way they’d both served their countries. “We’ve both got some pretty good stories about what we’ve been up to.”

Gabby shrugged, looking happy but not caring, her attention diverted. She was busy looking around the restaurant now, ready to go and move on to the next thing.

But Penny cared.

“I’d like that,” she said, voice barely more than a whisper.

He nodded, but her words meant so much to him.

“I’m proud of everything you’ve done, Pen,” he told her honestly. “Even if it’s made things hard on us, I’m so proud of your work. Of what you’ve been able to achieve.”

She looked down, eyelashes shielding her eyes, not letting him see the expression there.

“I’m proud of you, too. I am,” Penny said.

“Mommy, what’s wrong?”

Gabby’s attention had strayed and was back to them again, and her tiny hand was rubbing at her mom’s arm.

“Sweetheart, I’m fine,” Penny said, eyes full of bravery now. “It’s sad thinking about leaving you again, that’s all, and I can’t wait to be home for good.”

Gabby snuggled into her and Daniel stood up, went to pay the bill to give them a moment alone.

The thing was, he didn’t want to give them even a second alone. He wanted to be with them both all the time.

But for now, he had to feel fortunate that Penny was back in his life at all, however fleetingly it might be. And hope that next time, it was him she was coming back to.

To their home, their daughter, their lives together.

It wasn’t going to be easy. But then nothing worth fighting for ever was.

“Grandma’s here!” Gabby’s high-pitched voice almost deafened Daniel.

It was like a repeat of the night he’d taken Penny out for dinner, only he hoped the endnny�€ing turned out to be completely the opposite.

“Penny?” he called.

“Coming!”

Gabby spun around from the window, eyes alight.

“I’m going to see what she’s wearing.”

He couldn’t help but laugh as she took off to find her mom. “Don’t worry about letting your grandma in, then.”

She either didn’t hear him or didn’t care. Daniel went to let his mother in himself, then frowned as he saw that Tom was with her.

“Geez, don’t you have anything better to do on a Saturday night?” he asked his brother.

Tom glowered at him. “No, actually,” he said sarcastically. “I’ve just had notice that I’m shipping out in a few days and I thought I’d spend some time with my niece.”

Daniel wished he hadn’t snapped.

“Enough of the bickering, you two. Come on.”

His mother emerged, cake tin in her hands as she bustled past.

“How you doing, winning your wife back?”

Now Daniel was angry. “Seriously, Tom, just when I was about to apologize for being rude.”

His brother gave him a slap on the back as he passed. “I’m still pissed at you for what you did, can’t let you off that easy.”

Daniel glared at him, his pulse ticking rapidly in his neck.

“Sorry.” Tom put his hands up in the air. “I’ll be more sensitive next time. And for what it’s worth, I do hope she takes you back. This family is better for having Penny in it, and I want you guys to be happy.”

“Who do you want to be happy?”

Daniel looked up at the same time as Tom did.

Geez.

If he’d thought she’d looked good the other night, tonight she looked incredible. Amazing.

Her dress was shorter than he’d seen her wear in years, but then it had been years since they’d had a night out on the town together, too.

“Wow!” Tom beat Daniel to the punch before he was even able to form words of his own. “You look fantastic, Pen.”

“Thanks.” Her voice was low, shy, but she let Tom kiss her on the cheek.

“You’re going to have a great night out.”

“What are you doing here anyway?” Penny asked.

Tom raised his shoulders then let them fall. “Thought I’d hang out with Mom and my favorite niece for a bit.”

“I’m your only niece, Uncle Tom,” said Gabby, sidling up to him and wrapping her hands around his leg, tugging him into the living room.

Daniel found his tongue, managed to make his body work again as Tom started to walk backwards, laughing at Gabby.

“You do look incredible, Penny,” Daniel told her, pleased that Tom had stepped away, even if he had given her a rogue wink before disappearing from sight.

“Really? I hope it’s not too much.” She fingered the edge of her dress as she stood there, nervous.

“It’s not too much. You look stunning.” He couldn’t have said more honest words if he’d tried. She was so beautiful it stole his breath away.

There was a toot of a car horn outside.

“Shall we go?”

Penny touched his hand as he reached for her, let her fingers brush his. “Let me grab my purse and say goodbye to Gabby.”

He reached for her wrist and caught it. Paused before tugging her gently toward him.

Daniel caught the faintest hint of her perfume, fought not to shut his eyes against the softness of her body against him.

“Thank you,” he said, lips achingly close to her mouth as he spoke.

“For what?” She didn’t meet his gaze, kept her eyes lowered, giving him only her dark lashes to focus on again. “For giving me a second chance.”

They stood, facing one another, so close, not moving. Their breathing synchronized, Daniel’s heart beating fast. There was nothing left to say.

The test would be in whether they could fall in love and stay in love again. Whether they could both move on, forgive and forget.

Because even though Penny had found this hard, he had, too. He’d behaved in a way he’d never thought he was capable of. Had hurt her the way his father had hurt his mother, and part of him wondered if he’d ever truly be able to completely forgive himself.

The horn blared again, making them both jump.

“Go stall the cab driver,” she said, before reaching up and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

His hand shot up to where her lips had skimmed his skin. “What was that for?”

Penny giggled, a noise he hadn’t heard in years.

“For taking me out dancing.”

Daniel shook his head slowly from side to side.

“Wait until you’ve seen me dancing before you thank me,” he said with a laugh.

“I don’t care,” she said, walking backwards into the kitchen. “Just the thought of it’s enough to make me smile.”

Daniel followed her with his eyes before heading out the door. There had been times he’d wondered if he would ever get his life back. If he’d ever emerge from the darkness that had surrounded him these past few months.

What he had now was hope.

A hope that they might emerge on the right side of the emotional hell they’d been through this year.

Back in the Soldier’s Arms/Here Comes the Groom

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CHAPTER TWELVE

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ENNY stepped out of the cab, conscious of Daniel behind...

Daniel’s arm encircled her waist. A voice of doubt in her head told her to shrug it away, to move sideways slightly to force his arm to fall, but she ignored those instincts.

She braved a look up at him. He rememberd alright.

Pushing him away now was hardly being fair to what she’d promised.

“You remember when we first came here?” he asked. “How could I forget?”

They passed the security on the door and she let herself be led inside.

“The only difference is that last time we were both asked for identification at the door.”

Daniel pulled her closer again as they made their way toward the bar. A band was playing and the music was loud, so his mouth moved close to her ear so he could be heard.