Back in the Soldier's Arms (18 page)

“Honey, what are you doing awake?”

Penny sat on the bed and stroked her hand through Gabby’s hair.

“I had a bad dream,” she said, tucking in tight against her mom. “Will you lie with me?”

Penny needed to touch, to hold Gabby, as much as Gabby needed her.

“Sure, honey, let me take my shoes off.”

Penny flicked off her heels and kicked them to the ground, tucking her legs up on the bed and shuffling sideways to put her head on the pillow beside Gabby’s.

“I can’t wait for you to come home next time, Mommy,” Gabby whispered, her tiny hands clasped between their faces.

Penny pushed the words away, not ready to deal with what it’d be like next time she came home. Not capable of thinking that far ahead, about what her future would be like.

About life without Daniel.

“Have I ever told you you’re the most the important person in my life?”

Gabby snuggled closer again. “Even more special than Daddy?”

Penny bit down hard on the inside of her mouth, curled one of her feet into the other in an effort to keep her emotions at bay.

“Yeah, even more special than Daddy, because you’re my baby girl.”

“I love you as much as I love Daddy, even though you’ll be gone again soon,” Gabby said.

Penny couldn’t help the sadlif;I ca smile that broke out on her face. All this time worrying that she’d ruined her relationship with her daughter by her absence, upset that she loved her father more than she loved her and that they’d never recover from it, for nothing.

“I love you, too. More than anything in the world.”

Gabby stayed quiet, enveloped in her arms, breathing steadily but not yet sleepy.

“Go to sleep now, honey. I’ll stay here with you.”

Gabby didn’t say anything, and Penny held her tight, leaning backward a smidge to turn the light off.

She wished things could have turned out differently, that she wasn’t shedding tears over the fact her marriage was over.

But it was. And there was nothing she could do to change that.

Daniel had tried his hardest and she’d done her best to forgive and forget. In the end, it had all been too much.

Too much pressure with the hotel room and the champagne and the flowers. Too soon to be in that position. Too fast for her to make such a huge decision and decide whether they could ever move past this and be the Danny and Pen of old.

Gabby started to softly snore.

She had her daughter, and that’s what she had to be thankful for.

She’d survived two terms serving her country, and she was healthy and whole.

Gabby’s hair was wet against her cheek and it took Penny a moment to realize it was from her tears, that they’d fallen into Gabby’s soft locks.

Goodnight, baby girl, she mouthed silently. Sweet dreams.

This was her second-to-last full night here. Then it was back to living in an army camp, wishing she was tucked up beside her daughter’s tiny, warm body all over again.

Daniel strode through the door silently, but with a determination that he hadn’t felt since he’d left the navy.

He’d lost it back there at the hotel, but he’d pulled himself together and he knew what he had to do.

Daniel walked quietly down the hall, careful not to make a sound, and went through the open door into his bedroom. It was dark, and when he flicked the lamp on he saw that the bed was still made.

His heart started to pound.

Had she even come home?

Daniel hurried back down the hall, panic creeping into his mind. He pushed the door of Gabby’s room open more fully and peeked in, but it was too dark to see.

He walked slowly, waiting for his eyes to adjust.

And when they did he saw a larger silhouette beside Gabby’s small one.

“Penny?” He dipped his mouth close to her ear, not wanting to wake Gabby. “Penny?” He nudged her shoulder gently. She stirred, then mumbled something he couldn’t decipher. “Pen, wake up.”

He took her by the hand, giving her a gentle tug. Her eyes popped open, he could see them flash in the dark. “Daniel?”

“Shh.” He encouraged her to get up and she did, following him out into the hall.

The light there was only low level, and he didn’t want to talk to her in hushed tones outside their daughter&#xPen±€2019;s bedroom.

“Daniel, what are you doing here?” her voice was a low hiss.

He beckoned for her to follow. “We need to talk.”

She followed but he could tell from her pace alone before she even spoke that she was going to resist.

“We’ve said everything, Daniel. Please, let’s not put ourselves through this again.”

He held his tongue until they were in their bedroom and he could close the door behind them.

“Penny, can you sit down?” he asked.

She looked reluctant, but she sat on the edge of the bed. He did the same, taking a deep breath for courage before saying the words he needed to say. The words that had entered his mind, come to him, after he’d broken down in the hotel room. Too late to tell her before she left, but not too late to say now.

“Penny, I know you don’t think you can forget, but the truth is, I can’t either.”

She looked uncomfortable, about to protest, but he launched into what he had to say before she could stop him.

Daniel took her hands in his, shuffled closer to her on the bed and looked into her eyes.

“I’ll always remember your eyes, Penny Cartwright, for as long as I live,” he said, willing her to listen, needing to tell her this for both of their sakes. “Do you know why?”

She moved her head ever so slowly from side to side.

Daniel touched his hand to the edge of her eye, stroking his thumb lightly over the skin there. “Because these were the eyes I looked into on our wedding day,” he said gently. “The eyes that reassured me, without you needing to say a word, that I had nothing to be nervous about, that everything was going to be okay when we became man and wife.”

He watched as her eyes misted over, knew that he’d hit enough of a nerve for her to keep listening.

He was telling her the truth, nothing more, and it was the right thing to do. Daniel could feel in his heart that it was what he needed to say. No matter what happened, he owed it to both of them to be honest, to tell her how he felt.

“I looked into your eyes when you lost your mother, and I wished I could take away the pain I saw there, but I knew that by looking at you, you’d know how much I loved you.”

She reached to brush tears from her cheek, falling in a slow trickle.

“I’ll never forget your eyes because I looked into them seconds after our daughter was born and saw a happiness there I’ll never forget, and when you had to leave her to serve overseas, I’ll never forget the pain I saw there either.”

“Daniel …” She tried to stop him but he needed to say his fill, to get the words off his chest.

He moved his hand to her belly, resting it there.

“I’ll never forget your stomach, Penny, because I stroked it every night once I arrived home from overseas, talking to our little girl. I’ll never forget that you carried my child for nine months and made me the happiest man on the planet.”

Penny was crying now, silently crying as she listened to him, but she never broke his gaze. Her lower lip was caught between her teeth, and it stayed there as he brushed">H±€ his fingers across them.

“I’ll never forget your lips because of the times they’ve kissed and reassured me.” He tried to stop his voice from cracking as he said the next part. The hardest part. “And I’ll never forget the way you reassured me that I’d never be like my father.”

That made Penny shake her head, expression no longer sad, determined now.

“You’re not your father, Daniel.”

“No?” he asked. “I think I am, Penny. You gave me your trust and I stomped all over it.”

It was Penny who touched his face then, who took over where he’d left off. “You’re not like him, Daniel, because he hurt your mother on purpose. He left her and never came back.”

Daniel sighed. “I hurt you, too, Penny, and I was unfaithful. That’s enough to make me like him. But you’re right, I’m different from him, because I want to make this right. No matter what, I want us to be okay.”

She played with the hem of her dress, still wearing the same clothes she’d been in earlier.

“Penny, what I’m trying to say,” Daniel said, cupping her chin in his palm and lifting her head ever so slightly, “is that you might not be able to forget what I did, but what I can’t forget is you. I know you might not believe me, but I never think of that night, other than to wish it didn’t happen. All I remember is you, and how much I love you. How much I love everything about you, and wouldn’t change a thing even if I could. How much I wish our life could be like it was.”

“But—”

“You’re my wife, Penny, and when you stand in front of me there’s no one else I want.” They stared at one another.

“And I cannot imagine a life without you in it. I can’t let this be the end, Penny. We can’t. We mean too much to one another to just walk away.”

Her lip trembled as she tilted her head higher. “Daniel?”

He nodded.

“Kiss me.”

He moved slowly, pausing before taking her face in his hands and touching his lips to hers.

Penny’s heart was thumping as Daniel’s lips traced a path over hers. She couldn’t deny the mellowness in her body, the pleasure of having his mouth covering hers.

Could she do this? Could she move forward and let him back in again?

Yes. Her mind was screaming out at her, forcing her to put aside her worries. Yes.

This, right now, this felt right. Being in some hotel room had seemed too forced, too staged. Had been sleazy somehow.

But being here, in their own room—hearing Daniel tell her how he truly felt—this was what she’d needed to believe in him again. To know that she was what and who he wanted, to know that she wasn’t second best. That he’d never hurt her like that ever again.

“I love you, Penny. I always have and I always will.”

She couldn’t answer him, but she didn’t pull away.

Daniel was righzy ±€t.

They could do this.

After everything he’d seen, the look on his face when he’d been so honest with her … She knew in her heart he was being honest. That he hadn’t meant to hurt her. That she meant more to him than anyone else, than anything else.

“I love you, too, Daniel,” she whispered. It seemed like forever ago since she’d been able to say that to him. To tell him how much she cared for him.

“Whatever happens, Pen,” he told her, pulling back to caress her face, to talk to her, “I want you to know that you mean everything to me.”

Penny let her head fall back, neck arched as he kissed her, like the tip of a feather being tickled across her skin.

Now she could forget.

Had forgotten. Had forced herself to.

Because Daniel was right. What they had been through together, what they had felt for one another in the past, what they’d created together, was more important than anything else.

And it meant they absolutely, truly deserved a second chance.

Daniel slipped the strap of her dress down over her shoulder, reached for the zip before hesitating.

“Love me, Danny,” she whispered, shy yet bold at the same time.

His lips found hers again as she wriggled and he unzipped her from her dress.

This time she didn’t pull away. Didn’t panic. Because this time it felt right.

Back in the Soldier’s Arms/Here Comes the Groom

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CHAPTER FIFTEEN

DANIEL propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at Penny. It had been a long time since he’d felt like this. The past year had been rough, but things were finally feeling right again. Like they could make their marriage work again and be the family they used to be. The family they’d always wanted to be. “Pen?”

He stroked the edge of his hand across her face, brushing her hair from her forehead to rest on the pillow.

“Yeah?” she murmured, eyes closed as he touched her.

Daniel reached for the bedside-table drawer and fingered the ring he had there. A pretty band inset with a modest row of diamonds that curved around the entire ring.

“Penny, I need you awake for this.”

Her eyes opened, a lazy expression still resting on her face.

He tucked the ring under the pillow before she could see it and went back to touching her, stroking his hand down the curve of her back now as she wriggled closer.

“This is the first time in so long that I’ve been really happy, Penny,” he told her, fighting to push out the words.

It didn’t come naturalrin

“I wish I knew how much you’d been struggling,” Penny said to him, raising her own hand to trace across his cheek. “If I’d known how hard you were finding everything, if we’d been more honest with one another about how hard this was, then maybe …”

He tilted his head, eyes on hers.

“It’s not your fault, Penny. None of this was your fault, and you don’t ever have to worry about anything like that ever happening again. You know that, right? Because we’re going to make this work.”

She didn’t need to respond. They’d both faced their own battles, their own demons, this past year. But she trusted him. After all this, after what they’d been through and how they’d reconnected again, he knew in his heart that she would trust him. It wasn’t going to be easy, but they were going to make this work.

“I asked you for a chance when you came home, Pen,” he said, his voice so low it was almost a whisper. He inhaled deeply, stomach dancing with nerves.

She snuggled closer. “Thank you, Danny, thank you for making me believe in us again. I would never have forgiven myself if we’d never given us another shot.”

“But?” he asked.

She raised her eyebrows. “Does there have to be a but?” “No,” he said with a laugh. “I was just so sure there’d be one.”

Penny raised her head and whispered a kiss across his lips.

“What was that for?” he murmured against her mouth as she pulled back.

“For making me feel like me again,” she said simply. “For making us right again.”