Back in the Soldier's Arms (6 page)

She was more nervous than a virgin on her wedding night. Even though she’d be changing in the bathroom and wearing pajamas to bed.

Even though Daniel had been her husband for almost seven years already and her partner for ten.

Daniel sat on the edge of the bed. It was like being in a stranger’s room, it seemed so foreign.

He ran a hand across the quilt, resisting the urge to look over his shoulder. Penny was in the adjoining bathroom, he could hear water running still, and he didn’t know what to do.

Whether he should leave her side lamp on and get under the covers, roll over and at least pretend he was asleep. Or sit up with his light on, waiting for her.

Or offer to sleep on the chair. Or the floor.

Daniel sighed. He didn’t know what the hell to do. When all he wanted was to do the right thing.

The running water stopped, leaving only deafening silence in its place.

Daniel peeled off his T-shirt, half folded it and dropped it to the floor. He did the same with his jeans, pulling them off, then his socks.

He left his boxers on, slid beneath the covers and rolled onto his side after turning his lamp off.

He listened to Penny as the doorknob turned, listened to her pad softly across the carpet.

Then felt her climb into bed as the weight of her body folded into the mattress.

The void between them seemed enormous. The ocean may as well have separated them. Even with his back turned, he could feel her there and at the same time he couldn’t.

Could hear the gentle inhale of her breath, could sense the indent of her body beside his.

But the cold sheets stretc to¡eets strehed so far between them that he would have had to reach right out to brush his skin against hers.

And he wanted to. Damn, did he want to. Instead he silently pummelled his fist into his pillow and squeezed his eyes shut, hoping sleep would come quickly. “'Night.”

Penny’s soft voice jolted his eyes back open.

“Good night,” he said back, voice hoarse.

He wondered how long they’d lie there, awake yet pretending they weren’t. Both thinking, wondering, waiting.

So close but so far apart.

She’d agreed to pretend. For now.

So maybe, just maybe, she’d give him that second chance he was so desperate for.

Back in the Soldier’s Arms/Here Comes the Groom

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CHAPTER SIX

DANIEL woke up early. He didn’t know what woke him, but he knew why he’d slept so well, and why he didn’t want to move.

It had been almost a year since he’d woken with the weight of his wife in bed with him, the warmth of her body, the sound of her gentle breathing. It paralyzed him. Made him hold his own breath for fear of waking her. He stayed as still as an arrow stuck in timber, barely quivering.

Somehow in the night they’d gone from being separated by cold sheets to rolling against one another. Bodies skimming, touching enough for him to want to carefully place an arm around Penny and draw her in close.

But he didn’t.

Because he hadn’t earned the right to touch her yet. To hold her deep in his embrace.

He’d waited for this for so long. Wanted this for so long.

And he still did, even if his mind was scrambling.

He knew it wasn’t Penny’s fault that she’d had to go away again. Hell, she’d been the most heartbroken of all when she’d been called up again.

But part of him knew it was going to be hard all over again. That there was a chance he could go back to that dark place he’d fallen into while she’d been away last time.

What he’d done, the way he’d hurt her, had spiked him back into action. Pulled him from the pain, but he was struggling, too. Hurting, too.

Because he’d broken his own heart as well as Penny’s when he’d woken up to the consequences of being with another woman. It had all been too much. Not having Penny, trying to raise Gabby on his own while running a new business, leaving the navy behind and adjusting to being so darn alone that he’d wondered how he managed to breathe sometimes. To keep his head above water.

He’d gone from flying high in the navy as a pilot, surrounded by other men, friends, and with eve9H5he&#xry day presenting an exciting challenge.

To living in suburbia as a solo dad.

Penny stirred beside him, turning her face into the pillow and rolling half her body away.

Daniel slipped his lower arm from between them and used it to brace his weight as he eased himself from the bed. As much as he wanted to lie there with her, the last thing he needed was Penny waking and feeling uncomfortable.

“Daddy?”

Daniel only had one foot out of the bed when he heard Gabby. She was standing in the door, hair all mussed up and a smile on her face. Her eyes were still bleary from sleep and she was clutching her favorite furry toy under her arm. A floppy-eared bunny that had seen better days.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart,” he said.

Gabby padded over quietly, rubbing at her eyes with one fisted hand. She looked at him, then at Penny, then back at him again.

He wondered what she was thinking.

Penny sat up, like she’d been jolted awake.

“Gabby?” she asked, blinking furiously as she struggled to wake up.

Daniel sat back down on the bed, on top of the covers, and patted the spot between them. “Up you come.”

Gabby didn’t need to be asked twice. She climbed up the bed, wriggling into the pillows as she sat between them.

Daniel tried not to watch as Penny ran a hand through her hair, trying to tame her usually straight locks into compliance. But he couldn’t not look at the smile on her face as Gabby touched her arm.

“Is it really my birthday today?” she asked, like she wasn’t sure if it was a dream or not.

Daniel laughed, bending down to press a kiss to her cheek. She squirmed but didn’t stop smiling.

“Sure is, kiddo,” he said, grinning at Penny over their daughter’s head as she laughed, too. “And I heard a rumor that you might like a few presents?”

She squealed. “Yes!”

He looked away as Penny adjusted the top of her camisole, not wanting to see her bare skin or even think about the fact they’d shared a bed.

Daniel rolled half off the bed and reached beneath it, pulling out a few small, wrapped gifts before swinging back up to give them to Gabby.

“These,” he said, holding them out of her reach for a second to watch the excitement blur across her face, “are for you. Happy birthday, Gabby.”

She eagerly reached for them, ripping into one straight away.

“I’m just going to get some breakfast,” he said, slipping out of bed. “You open these with Mommy and I’ll be right back.”

Gabby hardly looked up, she was so excited about her presents, but Penny met his gaze. He gave her a wink and a smile, hoping she’d realize what he was up to.

So much had happened yesterday they hadn’t even had a chance to talk about gifts, but he’d made a big effort this year, so he didn’t expect anyone to be disappointed.

Gabby’s laughter and excited chatter followed him as he hot-footed it to the garage.

He couldn’t wait to see the look s s±e the looon Gabby’s face when she saw her main present.

Penny folded her arm around Gabby and pulled her close. She inhaled the sweet smell of her hair, enjoyed the tiny warm body pressed against hers.

Paper was strewn across the bed, and Gabby was transfixed with looking at her things.

“I have something else for you,” Penny told her, reaching for a small package she had placed beside the bed before climbing in the night before.

It was small, but beautifully wrapped. She’d purchased it on a layover on the way home.

“What is it?” Gabby fingered the square present, like she wasn’t sure what could be in there. What could be so small.

“Open it and see.”

Gabby didn’t rip the pink paper. Instead she tugged at the silver bow and slid her little finger beneath the tape. The way a grown-up would, as if she sensed that there was something special inside.

Gabby looked up wide-eyed as she opened it, before staring at the present within.

“It’s a charm bracelet,” Penny told her, taking it from the box and fastening it around Gabby’s wrist. “There are five charms on it now, and every birthday and Christmas I’ll buy you another to add to it.”

Gabby held up her wrist to look at the charms. “Thanks, Mommy.”

Penny pulled her closer for a cuddle and tried not to cry. Her own mother had given her a charm bracelet when she was ten, and Penny had been wanting to do the same for Gabby since she was born. She was probably still too young to have one, but she didn’t care. When Penny missed her mother more than usual sometimes, she still fastened her own back on her wrist.

“Drum roll, please.” Daniel’s playful tone echoed down the hall.

Gabby leaped up, jumping up and down on the bed as if it were a trampoline. What …?

Gabby gasped as Daniel wheeled in a brand-new pink bike, complete with flowing streamers tied to the handlebars. Gabby’s squeal told them she loved it.

“Happy birthday, Gabs. This is from me and your mom.”

Gabby leaped from the bed and grabbed on to the handlebars like she was never going to let go.

“Can I ride it?”

Daniel raised an eyebrow at her.

“How about we get dressed first, then we can take it outside,” Penny suggested.

“And you’ll need to get your new matching pink helmet from the table first, too,” Daniel told her.

Gabby sprinted off to find her helmet, leaving Daniel standing forlorn with the bike.

“That’s a seriously good present, Danny,” Penny said.

As soon as his nickname fell from her mouth she felt a burning flush hit her cheeks. She hadn’t said his nickname, the name that only she called him, since she’d been home.

Somehow, sitting in bed, in their bedroom, and calling him Danny felt too intimate.

“Can I tempt you with breakfast?” he asked.

Penny tugged the sheets a little tighter around herself. “That would be great,” she said honestly. Her stomach rumbled in agreement.

“Waffles still your favorite?”

She closed her eyes and leaned back for a beat. “Yeah, they are.”

And they were only her favorite because Daniel had made them for her every Sunday since they’d been together, whenever they were both off-duty at home.

“Do you remember the first time I made you waffles?” he asked, voice low, almost hoarse.

Penny nodded, fighting the smile that so desperately wanted to escape to trace her lips.

She remembered, all right. How could she ever forget?

“It was the first morning we’d woken up together,” she remembered out loud. “I stayed tucked up in bed while you went out to the store.”

Daniel leaned against the wall, his eyes never leaving hers. It was as if he was caressing her with his gaze, with his memories. His face showed an openness and warmth that she couldn’t turn away from.

“I made you waffles with maple syrup.”

“With strawberries, melon and blueberries on the side,” she finished, too carried away with the memories to stop.

“We had a pot of coffee and we sat out in the sun, talking about everything and anything.”

Penny didn’t know what to say. Or where to look.

Daniel was still watching her, conveying so much feeling in his gaze that she could feel a slithering-snake kind of nervousness building in her belly.

“Are you coming?” Gabby called at the top of her lungs.

They continued to stare at one another in silence.

Until Daniel broke the quiet that had fallen around them.

“Yeah, in a sec, honey.”

Penny folded the sheet beneath her forefinger and thumb. The air around them seemed limited, like there wasn’t enough of it in the room to service both their lungs.

“We should go,” she said.

Daniel hesitated, before sighing and tightening his grip on the bike. “Yeah.”

“Give me a couple of minutes and I’ll be right out.”

Daniel turned, before stopping, the rise then fall of his shoulders signaling there was something left he wanted to say. That he had something else on his mind.

“We had some great times, Penny.”

She nodded, even though he couldn’t see her. His back was still turned.

“The best,” she whispered.

And they were memories she’d never be able to let go of for as long as she lived.

The house was full of guests before Penny had had time to catch her breath. Other little kids, friends she hadn’t seen in far too long and Daniel’s family.

“Pen!”

She spun and found herself in the arms of one of her closest friends. “Sammi! It’s been way too long.” They hugged tight.

“You look great. You know, for being in the desert so long.”

Penny laughed. “Yeah, well, there’s something to be said for being out in the open all day.”

Sammi kept her tight against her, arm wrapped around her shoulders.

“How are you, really?” her friend asked.

Penny dropped her head to rest on Sammi’s shoulder. “Really?” she asked, sighing. “I’m coping, but it’s hard. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

Sammi didn’t say anything back, she didn’t need to. They’d been friends long enough to just be.

“We’re here for you. Don’t you ever forget that, okay?”

Penny snuggled closer into her shoulder, then raised her head. “You’re the best.” “Who’s the best?”

Gabby poked her head between them.

“Hey, birthday girl!” Penny grabbed hold of her hands and gave her an impromptu twirl. “You been showing off that shiny new bike?”

Gabby bounced on the spot like only an exuberant child can.

“Yeah. The boys are way jealous.” Penny and Sammi both laughed.

“I’m going to go help your dad in the kitchen. Why don’t you go play?”

“Is it almost cake time?”

Penny ruffled her hair then gave her a gentle push away. “Almost. Now go have fun.”

Sammi squeezed her hand before she walked away.

“You’re the strongest person I know, Pen. You will get through this.”

Penny brushed a tear from the corner of her eye and made for the kitchen.