Always Upbeat / All That (9 page)

So I rushed over to Blake and said, “Jackie, could I talk to Blake?”

At first she wasn't moving. I gave her a look that said it all:
I respect your territory
. She nodded and stepped away.

“I just wanted to say I didn't know about your mom. I'm so sorry. I hope she's okay.”

“She's got a battle ahead of her with testing, chemo, a possible operation, and other stuff, so it's hard. But it means a lot that you care,” he said, finally looking at me the way he used to.

“Of course I do, and I owe you an apology for not being there.” There was an awkward silence for a moment. Finally I said, “I wish we could go back and fix it all, but it is what it is. I just want you to know that my feelings can't completely dissolve. I do want us to be friends if that's okay with you and the new girl. I won't do her like she did me.”

Blake didn't know what to say. He just looked, stared, and nodded. I walked away from him, knowing that he was not going to be mine, but happy we were not going to be enemies. Sometimes that just had to be enough.

It was Friday night lights and the first game of the season: So many of us had been looking forward to this after a long, steamy summer. The Lockwood Lions were taking on a big 5A school from Warren Robins, Georgia. The press said the road to the Georgia Dome, where the football state championship was held, started here. The team who won would have the best opportunity of winning it all in December, but this was late August and the heat was on.

All the cheerleaders looked good. Our uniforms were sparkling. Our bows were perfectly positioned atop everyone's head. Our pom-poms and megaphones were lined up straight. All the folks passing by smiled and gawked. We had it going on. Even Whitney understood her role and was not trying to take over. We had practiced so many sideline cheers and made up new ones that I knew would not bore the crowd.

All should have been well, but it was not. Blake was on the fence, touching Jackie's hair. She was flaunting a skimpy little outfit. And he was looking. I was having a hard time with it.

We started cheering close to kickoff time. However, I threw my pom-poms down because I had no pep. I started to walk briskly toward the gym, but my girls came along side me.

“What's going on? We saw you looking at him, so there's no need to front like Blake doesn't have you all twisted up,” Eva said, as if she'd just figured out the hardest SAT question. “He's not all that.”

“Yeah,” Randal said awkwardly. Her sister-girl strength didn't come naturally to her because she felt uncomfortable with her mixed heritage. “Child please, let Jackie have him. It's going to get old before you know it, and he'll be coming back your way.”

Needing them all to head back to their positions, I said, “I just can't cheer tonight, okay? Her screaming Blake's name … He was supposed to only want me. How am I supposed to deal with this? How am I supposed to get out there? How am I supposed to act like everything is all right? I just can't do it, okay? You guys are great. Whitney's calmer. You'll have a better night without me putting a damper on it. I am not in a cheerleading mood right now. You don't want me to completely ruin this great moment.”

Ella surprised me when she said, “Look, I know I always say the sweet stuff, but forget his behind. You don't cheer for Blake. You cheer for Lockwood High School. You are the captain because you lead us. We can't cheer without you.”

Randal put her arm around me and said, “I know I always tell you to be modest and to take it easy, but in this case forget that advice. Besides, there's another guy who likes you. Forget Blake.”

And Eva said, “I know I'm always brash, but I understand you care about him. This hurts you, so I won't say move on. But seriously, Charli, it is
his
loss.”

“And I know I'm always loud …” Hallie said before she leaned in and whispered in my ear. “You have it going on. You live for cheering. I would kill to have your skills. Do not let anyone steal your joy.”

A tear was rising up in me, about to ruin my perfect makeup. My girls had moved me. They cared and they made sense. I had to find a way to move on. If I was real with myself, he really wasn't everything I deserved, whether his mom had cancer or not.

“What do
you
want?” I heard Eva say, as I looked up and saw Blake pitifully standing there. He wanted solace; I was the one who needed comfort.

“Can I talk to your girl for a second?” he asked Eva's permission.

Something weird happened at that moment. Though Blake was standing right in front of me, I saw Brenton in the background. I could not explain the connection, but while I thought my heart wanted the one directly in front of me, it actually was beating pretty rapidly for the one a few feet behind. Blake turned and saw what was holding my attention.

He said, “I just wanted to make sure you were all right, but it looks someone else can make sure you are.”

I looked in the stands and saw Jackie starring nervously. Something in the way Blake was looking at me made me think I could say, “Can we have one more chance? Can we give it another go? Can I be your girl again?” And he probably would have gone for it.

He asked, “So you going to pick up your pom-poms again? I saw you throw them down.”

“Oh, so you're watching me?”

“Don't tease me, Charli. I know I lost a good thing in you, and I understand now that my cousin cares for you in a way that I'm just not ready to.”

“Thanks for admitting that.”

“Well, you're special.”

Though Blake cared, I knew he wasn't what I wanted. He wasn't what I needed. Brenton was right. I did have goals, dreams, and aspirations. I would not mind male company, but I was not trying to lose myself to please a guy.

“We are going to be friends, right?” I said to him, remembering our gym class talk.

“Yeah, if my cousin will allow that,” Blake teased, peering back at his boy.

Seeing the pregame clock tick down, I said, “Go get them tonight. Blake, be careful. I think Jackie wants a lot from you.” I could feel her ears all the way over here in our conversation, wishing she knew exactly what we were saying and making assumptions.

“I'm going to go in now. We got to win this game. My dad catches me out here talking to all these girls, you know I'ma be in trouble.”

Before he got to leading the true business of the night, I asked, “How's your mom?”

“Just keep praying.”

“You know I will.”

He touched my face and jogged off.

Brenton was jogging past me, and I said, “Wait, hold up. Can I say something?”

“What, you want to tell me you're back with Blake?” he asked in an aggravated tone.

“No, that's not who I'm with. That's not who I want.” I touched Brenton's shoulder pad.

“Oh, so you know what you want now? I saw you pitch a little fit earlier.”

I huffed. Shoot, did everyone see me storm off? I had to keep my emotions in check from now on. Cheerleaders were front and center, and they had a rep to protect, an image to uphold, and a team to cheer to victory.

“Yeah, but I realized that's done, and if you're serious about all that stuff you have been saying to me, maybe we can give it a go.”

Coach Strong yelled from the field house, “Brenton, boy! Get it in here!”

But before he left me, he pulled me into his arms. Then slowly and softly, his lips touched mine. Watching his fine, caring tail run off, I realized I was down no more.

My girls came all around me. They squealed. After they settled down from being happy about my romantic interlude, I told them how much they meant to me. With all hearts and minds clear, we ran to our positions.

It was time to go to work. I was a leader. I learned not to take that for granted. And though the night wasn't how I imagined it a couple months ago, it actually was perfect. Even when going through the drama, I had to stay savvy and remember that the down times would end. When times get tough, don't stress. You can make it if you stay forever cool.

CONTINUE TO
FIND OUT!

STEPHANIE PERRY MOORE
is the author of many YA inspirational fiction titles, including the
Payton Skky
series, the
Laurel Shadrach
series, the
Perry Skky Jr.
series, the
Yasmin Peace
series, the
Faith Thomas Novelzine
series, the
Carmen Browne
series, the
Morgan Love
series, and the
Beta Gamma Pi
series. Mrs. Moore speaks with young people across the country, encouraging them to achieve every attainable dream. She currently lives in the greater Atlanta area with her husband, Derrick, and their three children. Visit her website at
www.stephanieperrymoore.com
.

The Lockwood High cheer squad has it
all
—sass, looks,
and all the right moves. But everything isn't always as perfect as it
seems. Because where there's cheer, there's drama. And then
there are the ballers—hot, tough, and on point. But what's going
to win out—life's pressures or their NFL dreams?

Cocky quarterback Blake Strong's
number one goal is to stay in the game.
Will he realize there is more to life
than football?