Always Upbeat / All That (8 page)

I really wanted to say, “Duh. What part of it didn't you understand? Like, I spelled it all out on the computer. Did you comprehend the fact that I was such a witch that I needed to quit?” But all of that would've been jerk language. So not wanting to be disrespectful, I smiled.

“Yeah, I understood what it said,” she said, picking up my body language. “I don't know why you said it. Yeah, you were difficult, but you were difficult for the right reasons. You want us to win; you don't wanna boss people around just because. You have high standards. Maybe you were a little brash in your tactics, but sometimes some of these girls need to be pushed. You're an excellent cheerleader, and you wanted to make sure everyone else exuded excellence. We need you. Look at the alternative, and I love Whitney to death. She's a scholar, but she's a snob. Everybody knows you had a hottie, and you were dissing him for this team. From what I hear, his ego got bruised, and he couldn't take it. He couldn't stand that he was second. He was second to cheerleading. Your commitment, your dedication, your accountability to this team was phenomenal.”

Still not feeling good about my tough actions, I said, “I'm just not the right person, Coach.”

“To lead anybody you must have that ‘it factor' … that support from them … that willingness to follow your lead.”

“I had that when they elected me, and I got the big head somewhere along the way. I don't know. I was humbled quickly. I messed up.”

“Which means you learned from it. Don't walk away from all of that.”

“Yeah, don't walk away, because if Whitney stays up there and continues to be the lead, I might have to yank some of her poor weave out and then quit,” Eva said, surprising me. Coach gave her that
Watch your mouth!
glare. “Sorry, Coach.”

I was shocked to see her standing there. She wasn't alone. Ella, Hallie, and Randal were with her.

Coach smiled, walked to her door, and said, “Y'all talk some sense into this girl.”

Dropping my head, I said, “Why do y'all care?”

Rubbing my shoulder, Ella said, “Your email said it all.”

“See … we took this test,” Hallie blurted out.

“Huh?” I was real confused, and Randal was tugging on her to hush.

Hallie continued, “It will just take a sec. I'm going tell her. There is a test in the book,
The Five Love Languages of Friendship
, and we found out that you're a task person. You can't help but to be on people about doing things because that's just who you are.”

“I'm confused,” I said, knowing I was at a disadvantage for not reading the book with them.

“Like Hallie said, it's this book called,
The Five Love Languages of Friendship
. It has one test for marriages, one for jobs, one for the kids, and then there's one for friendship,” Randal said. “It basically says that you have to understand how people show their love, and you can't love on them in your love language, but you gotta love on them in theirs. And they have five basic languages that we all fall into.”

“We probably have all five in us. When you find out what your predominate love language is, your friends need to know so they can show you love in the way you need it, not in the way they want to give it. You can't push the way you feel loved onto others and expect them to respond,” Eva said. “But you also have to know theirs so you don't become selfish. If you know how they need love, then you can give them just what they need. For example, my love language is treasure.”

“Yeah, we know that,” Hallie said. “We can't just come to your birthday party and bring just any old thing. It's gotta be thought out.”

“Yeah, that's right. Y'all know it and it's coming up,” Ella said. “And mine is touch.” She kept rubbing my shoulder.

“Mine is talk,” Hallie said. “You gotta tell me I'm doing okay. You gotta tell me you care. You know I wanna hear it. So when you say I'm doing bad, it really, really affects me.”

Randal said, “And mine is time. Just all five of us being together means so much to me. And, Charli, you were task.”

“Okay, I'm task. What does that have to do with you guys coming in here saying I need to stay captain? I am still confused. I was horrible, and I deserve for you all to never ever be my friends again,” I confessed honestly.

“You're right. You do deserve that,” Eva said, keeping it real. “But I think it was you who said we all need grace from time to time. It just wasn't the same first day of school without our girl with us.”

Ella took my hand and said, “You know the word is out that somebody got a cool kiss today.”

Randal chimed in and said, “Because we were not with you, we missed it. It just wasn't right.”

“And because you're task,” Hallie said. “We learned it's a part of your nature for things to get done. You wanted us to be on time, and you wanted us to know the cheers. You wanted us to do all the moves right because you love us. You care, and you went a little overboard, but you didn't want us to sink. Whitney is being a brat. She wants power and control. We know now that was not your issue. We feel like if we stay on you and make sure you stay in line then we can help you be balanced.”

“Yeah,” Randal said, “but still be a task manager and get things done. There's nothing wrong with time management.”

“You guys forgive me?” I sniffed.

“Do you forgive us?” Eva stepped over to me and asked. “I told them we needed to just drop you. Instead of getting so mad, all we should've done was come and talk to you until you listened, not cut you off like that. That was wrong. That's not what best friends do. That's not what we do to each other. The five of us are more than friends. We are sisters. We gotta make sure that's never broken.”

“So you captain or what?” one of the senior cheerleaders said from the door.

“If you guys want me,” I said, still overwhelmed by their gestures.

“Well, Whitney's out there running her mouth, and I'm speaking for the all seniors out there. We want you.”

I didn't deserve a second chance, but the fact that I was getting it made me all mushy inside, like mashed potatoes. Getting a group hug from the girls, I knew I wouldn't change anything. Yeah, I was out of control, but I really learned to appreciate others. When I was on the outs, I learned so much about me and how to treat people. Now, things were looking up. My mom and I were bonding. My girls were back in my corner. I had gotten an unexpected kiss that felt great. And because of what I went through, I had learned to be a better me. It wasn't totally bad that I was sometimes down.

N
o, Charli's not going to be the captain again!” Whitney screamed when she found out the squad's decision to not accept my resignation.

I did not know Whitney that well, but I did know being captain meant a lot to her. It was hard being in that seat. Though some of her tactics were annoying, I could use her help. And instead of alienating her for good, I needed to figure a way to get her on my team.

Seeing Whitney's disappointment and wanting to fix it, I said, “Coach Woods, I nominate Whitney Alexander as co-captain.”

Eva was standing right next to me. Guess she felt if Whitney wanted to brawl, she had my back. At least she was with me until I made that statement. Then Eva hit me in my gut. Others grunted and made derogatory remarks.

However, I stood firm, meaning what I said, even though I knew it was not what Whitney wanted—she did want to be captain over us all, after all. This was some consolation. She may not be the first one in charge, but she'd have some power if she joined me. Shoot, last time I heard, something was better than nothing any day. Her eyes started sparkling. The frown she had on her face turned to a smile.

She came over and stood beside me and said, “Really? Are you serious about this recommendation?”

“Yes, I mean if you are okay with working with me. I know your pep and professionalism can take us a long way. Whitney, let me be clear. All I want to do is win. There are twenty of us on this squad. Why can't two of us lead it?” I asked. “If you are willing, we can be stronger.”

Whitney's attitude softened. She realized I was not blowing smoke to cloudy up the air and confuse her. I was being true.

“Girls, how do y'all feel about this?” Coach Woods stepped in and officiated.

“Well, as long as Charli's captain and Whitney is co-captain, I'm fine with it,” Eva said, giving me the eye.

Hunter, the sophomore, said, “If Charli says this is what she wants, we should support her. She does have our best interests at heart. Next to Charli, Whitney is the second best.”

Whitney said, “Thanks, Hunter. I think.”

Coach Woods looked at Whitney. Whitney nodded, accepting the position of second in charge. We voted and practice was over. Before I could get out of the door with my girls, happy to head out and just hang out with them for a minute, Whitney stopped me at the door.

Somewhat emotional, she said, “Charli, thanks. Nobody's ever stepped up for me until today, and it meant a lot. I want you to know working with you will be a joy. Here's my cell number.”

She and I talked for a few minutes. It was neat that she admitted she was brash too. We agreed to keep each other in check. My lesson there was, if you find out what people who give you grief are needing, and help them fix their issue, your life can be fixed too.

At the restaurant later, I had a big smile plastered on my face. My sisters, and that sounds so good to say, wanted to pay for me. The pancakes from IHOP never tasted so good. The company was not bad either. Seeing the four of them laugh at stuff—because I had been out of the loop for a minute, some of the humor went over my head—just made me sit back and appreciate the fact that I was so glad we still had each other. I was thankful that what we felt for each other was able to bring us back together. I was really blessed that our love was true.

“Did you guys see Leo from gym last year?” Ella said, as she cut into her french toast.

“Yeah, we've got English together,” Hallie said, like it was not that big of a deal.

Ella said, “He's huge!”

“A lot of the football players are,” I said, thinking about Blake. “Coach Strong has them on a strict regimen so they can pass the eyeball test.”

“The what?” Randal asked. She frowned like the concept sounded ridiculous.

I was no expert, so I said, “I'm just remembering stuff Blake said. The eyeball test is when scouts from the colleges come over and look at players. They are looking for a certain athletic build. If you don't have the right height, weight, and physique, then you might be a good player but you're not D1 college material. A lot of the guys at our school are trying to go to the SEC and ACC.”

“The
what
?” Ella asked, making me know my girls needed a football lesson.

“The top southern conferences: the Southeastern Conference and the Atlantic Coast Conference,” I said. I threw my hands in the air, expressing that they needed to diversify their knowledge of the game.

“You were around Blake way too long,” Eva said to me. “We just cheer for a touchdown. All that other stuff is extra.”

“Yeah, and really overrated,” Randal said, finishing up her food.

“I think I'm ready for a boyfriend,” Hallie said out of nowhere. “I have no idea where I'll find one.”

“Well, take your time,” I told her, reflecting on my drama with men.

“Yeah, who wants a boyfriend?” Eva said, smirking. She had one up on the boys. “They want to be players, but they don't like it when girls like to have fun. I'm not going to let one tie me down. It's our junior year; I'm going to enjoy it.”

“Yeah, but you don't want the wrong name for yourself,” Randal said, referring to Eva being a little too loose.

With much attitude, Eva said, “You just get some business, then come back and talk to me.”

Not taking it personally, Randal threw her hands up. Eva winked at her. Ella hugged Randal to make sure she was cool. I smiled at them all.

It was fun to see the five of us stating our opinions. We were all big headed, strong willed, and direct, but we knew how far to push each other and not to get on each other's nerves. I told them how much they meant to me. It was a serious moment of tenderness.

When I got home, I saw my dad moving things out of the house and putting them into his car. I rushed over to him and threw my arms around him.

“Dad, you can't go. We can work this out. Please stay.”

My mom came over and said, “You're dad's going to leave for a while.”

My dad cupped my face and said, “Yeah, but your mom and I are committed to working on this thing. Just need a little time apart. Don't worry, pumpkin.”

As my father drove away, my heart sank. Though they had to do things their way, my soul did not feel good at all. I could only hope my dad would truly come back.

It felt really good walking into school with my friends. What a difference a day made! I was no longer on the outs. I was with my girls. I was a part of the in crowd, but I saw those who were not popular standing alone, looking disappointed and upset when people frowned at their outfits, hairstyles, or kicks. Instinctively, I went out of my way, speaking to every loner I saw.

Well, until Brenton came up to me and said, “Okay, you've passed me a couple times. I guess I need to stand by myself for you to notice me?”

Letting him know he had swag, I said, “Well, you were with your boys and everything, so I didn't want to step in the middle of all that.”

“I guess my kiss wasn't that good because today I can't even get a hello, much less an instant replay. Unless you want to prove me wrong,” he said, as he stepped in a little closer.

“No affection in the hallway!” Eva said, as she pushed me on to class. “Call her if you want to catch up with her. She's got an iPhone. Text her.”

As me and my girl dashed to class so the bell would not catch us, I smiled. Brenton was truly into me. He noticed I was trying to make others feel good.

Walking with Eva, I was lost in thought when she said, “Yes, he likes you, girl.”

We had an even and odd schedule, which meant we had four classes on odd days and four different classes on even days. This was an even day, and Eva and I had PE together. The bell rang right before we stepped into the gymnasium. Thankfully our teacher, Coach Woods, gave us grace and motioned for us to hurry and get ready.

When we went into the locker room to change, I stopped walking because I saw Jackie talking to a few of her girlfriends. They were looking at pictures on her phone. High-fives were being dished out like she'd won the lottery, gotten an engagement ring, or won the lofty Pulitzer Prize. Had Blake asked her to be his girl?

“I can't go in there,” I uttered. But I was with Eva, and of all my friends, she was the last one that was going to let me punk out.

“Hey, y'all! Excuse us. You're standing right in front of our lockers.”

“There's no names on any of these,” said Dajezah, who was really large and sassy.

Eva stepped to her and said, “Just because dance girls don't have lockers, be informed that varsity cheerleaders do. Move, big mouth. They're right here. That's why they're locked up.”

Dajezah shook one of the locks to irk Eva. The other girls laughed. There was no movement.

Eva stood firmer, wanting Dajezah to do something stupid. “Move now!”

“Ugh, you can just ask us nicely,” Jackie said. “You don't have to be rude or anything. Just because I got your girl's man doesn't mean you have to be salty.”

More upset than I could explain, I tried to calm myself down before I spoke truthfully. “I'm standing right here, Jackie, and I'm clearly aware of everything that's gone on. You don't have to rub it in my face.”

As much as I wanted to say Jackie was ugly, I couldn't. I definitely could see why Blake found her attractive. So did a lot of other boys, the way she flaunted what she had. Not hatin', I had to admit that her body was tight, and she was not a dummy either.

Showing she wasn't a true jerk, Jackie said, “For what it's worth, Charli, I am sorry.”

“You're sorry for what,” I vented, realizing this girl had truly broken the
Leave someone else's man alone!
rule, and she did not deserve my forgiveness. “Disrespecting the fact that I had a boyfriend? Come on, Jackie. Are you really sorry? You did everything in your power to take Blake away from me. You're sorry for what? That you pranced around practically naked right in front of him so he wouldn't have to imagine what was underneath your clothes. You wanted him to see. What are you sorry for? I mean really … you knew he had me, but that didn't matter to you.

But now that you're his girl, do you understand how vulnerable you are to have a guy like him be
your
guy?”

“Yep, because these girls around here don't respect no relationships,” Eva sneered. “I admit, I'm a player like the boys, but I don't go after taken merchandise.”

“Please, when you're all used up, nobody wants you,” Dajezah said, as a couple of her girls gave her dap.

But I pulled Eva back, because the ghetto in her was rising up. Jackie looked away. She knew she had done me wrong. Truthfully, it certainly was not totally her fault. It took two to tango, and Blake was dancing with her. When we stepped out of the locker room that was obvious.

Before stepping onto the gym floor, Eva said, “Brace yourself.”

I took a very long, deep breath, “Blake's in this class, isn't he?”

“Yeah, and … um … Jackie just ran to him. He's cuddled up with her,” Eva grabbed my hand to keep me strong, reminding me of how Ella always used touch to show love.

When I looked over at Blake and Jackie, they were laughing and smiling. Honestly, it was hard to see Blake happy with someone else. His two boys, Leo and Landon, strolled over to us. Leo was the one Ella had said had gone from a stick to a stud. Landon was a tall, lean cutie pie too.

“Boy, are you on steroids?” Eva quickly said to a beefed-up Leo.

“I told him, right?” Landon teased, irritating Leo even more.

Leo sarcastically uttered, “Ha-ha-ha. Just 'cause some of us don't get in the gym, no need to hate on the results.”

Landon put up his muscle to impress. Unfortunately, the result was not a cut look. We all laughed, including Landon, as his arm clearly wasn't as dynamic as Leo's. Leo smiled, feeling redeemed by the coarse joking. Then Landon was looking Eva up and down.

“What you looking at?” she quickly said to him.

She was into older guys. She had always only dated upperclassmen. Now that we were juniors, seniors were the only ones who had her eye. I could tell Landon's feelings were hurt.

“I didn't even come over here to talk to you,” Landon said to her, trying not to be embarrassed. “Charli, we just wanted to let you know that you're still our girl. We still cool, right? We know our boy lost his mind, got another girl and all, but we like kicking it with you guys.”

Leo added, “Yeah, Brenton, Blake, Landon, and me, we hadn't hung out with y'all in a while. We don't want all that to be over. But you understand why Blake needed you so bad.”

Getting revved up like a race car engine to go hard, I said, “I understand, Leo. He thought I wasn't there for him. What was so important that he needed to talk to me about? I do not know but …”

“You ain't know?” Leo asked me.

Landon looked at Eva. “You didn't tell her?”

Eva looked away. Landon covered his mouth like,
Oh snap! No wonder you never got back to him
. Leo threw his hands up, motioning for one of them to tell me.

I blurted out, “Tell me what?”

Eva whispered, “Blake's mom has cancer.”

Those words hit my core. “Mrs. Strong, really? Oh my gosh.”

“He found out around the time he kept calling you. He was freaking out. His dad was going crazy. We tried to be the rock for him, but I wasn't tryna hold a brotha's hand. But Jackie was there,” Landon explained.

So much became clear. If he would have just said that his mom was sick, I certainly would have made time for him. I wonder if he thought that I would just instinctively know what was going on and connect with his pain? I was not a mind reader though. I knew Blake wouldn't just go after the next pretty face. But I had let him down to his core. It didn't matter that he was laughing with Jackie right now. It didn't matter that the coach was trying to get us all to huddle up for the lesson. It didn't matter whether Blake would completely go off on me. I had to let him know how I felt. Right. This. Second.