All Because of You (Lakeview #2) (38 page)

In that instant, Tara was back on the dance-floor of
Clancy’s Hotel, barely seventeen years old, and in the arms of the man she’d adored for so long. The dress was in her opinion the most beautiful ball-gown ever created. It had taken absolutely
ages
to find but it was worth it, and as soon as Tara had tried it on in the shop, she’d known it was the perfect dress for her. The colour was her favourite – deep cerise pink, and the bodice and overskirt were made of lovely shiny satin that shone under the lights when she moved, and the lovely flowing skirts shushed along when she walked.

Jason had loved it too, and when he’d called to collect her from home earlier, he’d told her she looked ‘amazing’. Tara was pretty certain that if she’d been going to the debs ball with any of the lads from
Lakeview they wouldn’t have even noticed her dress, and certain wouldn’t have called her ‘amazing’. Instead they’d have called to the door, fidgeted impatiently for the photographs, and talked about hurrying up so they could go and meet ‘the boys’.

But Jason Murray wasn’t like any of the lads in
Lakeview (thank goodness) and instead of trying to avoid the photographs like Deborah’s Murphy’s boyfriend Conor had, he’d even offered to take one of the family, Tara standing in the middle between her mam and dad and, a narky-looking Emma kneeling in front and whinging about ‘being swallowed up in a pink meringue’. And he hadn’t batted an eyelid when they’d reached the hotel and Colm had insisted on getting a group photo, even though Tara knew that he was slightly uncomfortable around her friends, whom he didn’t know all that well.

Now, as Jason and Tara danced slowly to Bryan Adam’s
Heaven
, Tara’s favourite song, his arms wrapped around her waist and his cheek resting lightly against hers, she thought the lyrics had never seemed more appropriate. She truly
was
in heaven, and he was all that she wanted, that she’d ever wanted.

She still couldn’t believe he’d agreed to go to the debs ball with her, this mature, sophisticated boy from Dublin who’d holidayed with his family in
Lakeview every summer for as long as Tara could remember. 

He and Tara had struck up a close friendship over the years, and every time he came on holiday they’d spend ages just chatting about nothing in particular and enjoying each other’s company. Tara fancied him for ages, in fact all the girls in the village had fancied him for ages, but it had been Tara he’d eventually agreed to go to the debs with. And she knew all of her fellow sixth years in Our Lady’s Secondary School were pea-green with envy that the fine thing from Dublin had chosen Tara Harrington to go to the debs with. Even Emma, who was only a kid, and didn’t know much about fellas yet, was wide-eyed with awe when Tara told her who she was taking to the ball.

Her mam and dad hadn’t been too happy about it though.

“He’s a bit old for you, love,” her mother had said. “Why couldn’t you have gone to the debs with one of the local lads, like that nice fella Colm Joyce, or maybe Eric McGrath ?” Tara had groaned inwardly at the notion. Colm was totally hyper and you wouldn’t get a word in while he was around, and all Eric wanted to do was smoke fags and talk about boring stuff like football. Anyway, none of them were in the
least
bit good-looking, although this never seemed to stop them from getting girls – Colm in particular was meant to be a ‘demon with the women’, whatever that implied.  

But what Tara’s parents especially didn’t realise was that age didn’t matter when you had something special like she and Jason did. He didn’t talk about Man United and boring things like hurling; he talked about travel, and was into astrology, same as she was. Jason Murray was her soul mate, she was sure of it.

And tonight, as Bryan Adam’s throaty voice and romantic lyrics filled the room, Tara closed her eyes and felt more certain than ever. The only thing was, she thought, opening them just as quickly, the room was beginning to spin a bit now, and it wasn’t from dancing. She’d better slow down a bit on the drink. Tara wasn’t a big fan of drink, and she’d never been interested in going off down the park behind the castle, drinking flagons of cider with the boys, like some of her classmates did. 

In all fairness, even Emma was able to hold her drink better than Tara, and she was only fourteen! Of course, Tara had tried to have a word with her about it, but she might as well be talking to the wall. Emma wanted to do her own thing, and nobody, least of all Tara, could stop her. She knew Emma thought she was a bit of a goody-two-shoes really. Well, she supposed she was. But she couldn’t help it that she didn’t like the horrible taste of cider, or the way it made people act the eejit and fall all over the place, like Eric McGrath. She adored Eric, but there was no need for him to carry on like that, and when he was drinking he turned into a different person altogether. Tara thought he’d better control himself soon enough, or he’d end up a drunkard just like his poor father.

No, drink just wasn’t Tara’s thing, but the problem was, she couldn’t very well refuse the drinks that Jason had been good enough to buy her tonight, could she?

And they were expensive drinks too – Southern Comforts, he’d told her – as if she should be impressed by this. Maybe this was some sophisticated drink that they all drank up in Dublin or something, so it might be rude to say no – especially when he’d agreed to come to her debs. So, feck it, for tonight only she’d have a couple of drinks, but she’d sip them slowly, and then, hopefully, she’d be grand.

“Did I tell you, you look beautiful in that dress, Tara?” Jason murmured in her ear, and as she pictured how they must look together, Tara immediately felt like Baby in the film
Dirty Dancing
, when Patrick Swayse did that slow dance with her. That had been a great film and really romantic. And of course Baby and Johnny were different people from different backgrounds just like her and Jason, yet they’d fallen in love and to hell with anyone who tried to stop them. 

“Thank you – you look funny in a suit, but it’s nice,” she giggled, and then kicked herself when she realised how unsophisticated that sounded. Here he was complimenting her like a proper grown-up, and she giggles back at him like a schoolgirl! Well, as of three months ago, Tara was no longer a schoolgirl – she was now a seventeen-year-old woman with the world at her feet. Not that she had much of a clue what to do with that world, she thought ruefully. At least not until she got the Leaving results anyway. 

She might like to go to college, she wasn’t really sure. Some of the other girls in her class, like Deborah, couldn’t wait to go to college and ‘finally get out of this kip’, whereas Tara didn’t think she ever wanted to leave Lakeview. She loved her hometown and the yearly influx of tourists (like Jason) every summer, all anxious to visit the pretty village and famous lake that she was lucky enough to have been born near.

So
at the moment, she didn’t want to leave Lakeview. 

No, what would be perfect would be if Jason and his family moved here from Dublin or something, and then she could see him all the time, and their great romance would la
st forever. Yes, that would be amazing.

Than, as if reading her thoughts, Jason turned his head and kissed her gently on the lips. As she kissed him back, Tara’s head swam with the romance of it all, the softness of his lips, the taste of him on her tongue, as Bryan Adams was just about to finish the song with that amazing guitar solo. This truly
was
heaven and it was most definitely love, she was sure of it.

“I want to be with you, Tara,” Jason whispered then. “You’re beautiful.”

Tara’s heart soared as they kissed again, this one deeper and much more passionate. She knew it! Jason felt the same way she did, and he wanted to be with her here in Lakeview too! This was turning out to be the best night of her life. Never mind all the others throwing envious looks at her – from the looks of things there was no point in them being jealous. Jason loved her, and that was that. 

Then, the wonderful slow song ended, and all too soon some noisy Madonna number broke the spell. Tara loved Madonna as much as the next girl, but at that moment she really wished that the DJ would play some more romantic numbers, so she could stay wrapped in Jason’s arms forever. Although, she thought as Jason smiled and led her away from the dance floor and back to their table, now she wouldn’t ever forget that song.
Heaven
would be
their
song, from now on – hers and Jason’s, and whenever she heard that song on the radio in the future it would remind her of tonight – the happiest night of her life.

“Let’s go outside for a while, will we?” Jason said, interrupting her musings. “It’s baking hot in here.”

Tara smiled. She loved his Dublin accent and the funny expressions he came out with sometimes. Lakeview people would
never
say ‘baking’. Instead they might say ‘it’s ‘boiling’’ or ‘roasting’, but she didn’t think they would ever say something like
baking
. It made Jason seem all the more special.

“Out to the garden?” she said, as Jason picked up her drink – another yucky Southern Comfort, she noted. 

“We could go for a walk down by the lake, maybe?” he suggested with a smile that made Tara’s heart turn over in her chest. “It’s always nice down there. And if it gets cold, you can always take my jacket.”

Tara’s heart soared. “I might as well bring my cloak too,” she said, referring to the silk shawl-type thing that went over her dress. Although she’d probably wouldn’t need it  – the fine summer weather was lasting well into September, and the evening was mild so she’d be plenty warm as she was. Either way, she certainly wasn’t going to refuse. The
lakeside park had always been a popular spot for couples in love – couples like her and Jason. She couldn’t wait to spend time alone with him in one of the romantic places she could think of – especially tonight, with a full moon out. 

This truly was turning out to be the best night of her life.

It was
she supposed, every teenage girl’s nightmare, discovering they were pregnant after making love for the very first time. And she’d been stupid, she and Jason had been stupid that night after the debs ball, when drunk on romance (and Southern Comfort) they’d gone down to the romantic, moonlit park by the lake, and made love for the first time amongst the reeds, having found a comfortable and private spot for them to be alone. 

And it wasn’t all horrible and fumbling like Deborah Murphy had said it was for her – for Tara it was the perfect expression of their love for one another. OK, so it was a bit uncomfortable at first, lying on the ground with only his coat and her shawl beneath them, but eventually she gave herself up to the pleasure of just being with him and enjoying what they were doing.   

Afterwards as they lay sleepily in one another’s arms, Tara thought about how wonderful it had been and how this had to be true love. She knew they had some problems to surmount, certainly – what with Jason living in Dublin and she in Lakeview – and she knew her parents already disapproved of the fact that he was that bit older than her. But this was meant to be, and they’d get through those problems wouldn’t they? They were soul mates.

Tara’s euphoria was short-lived however, when Jason – who’d dozed off for a short while immediately afterwards – woke up properly, and began fretting over the realisation that they hadn’t used
protection.

Tara’s heart sank to her stomach, as the dreamlike state she’d been in all evening began to wear off, and Jason’s anxious behaviour brought her right back to reality.   He wasn’t having second thoughts about their night together, was he? No, she told herself, he was merely worried that she might get pregnant or something.

But Tara was certain it should all be fine. She’d only had her period the week before, and judging from what she’d learnt in Biology at school, she was probably safe enough. Still, she should have thought about it, of course she should, and right then as Jason continued to worry over their carelessness, Tara admonished herself for being so stupid and causing all this worry.. 

“I don’t make a habit of this kind of thing,” Jason told her, obviously horrified that she might think he slept with girls without protection on a regular basis.

Tara had quickly assured him that there was nothing to worry about and that they should be fine, all the while trying to conceal her hurt and disappointment at his distant demeanour, and her humiliation at his eventual admission that their night together had all been ‘a big mistake’.

Shortly after that, they gathered their things and left the park, Tara still distressed and humiliated over what he’d said. But just before they parted, Jason kissed Tara goodbye, and gently told her he’d see her soon.

Buoyed by this, Tara again reassured herself on her way home that his slightly standoffish behaviour earlier had more to do with their not using contraception, than his having regrets about what had happened. After all Jason was her soul mate, and he loved her, didn’t he? No, all would be well and she was worrying for nothing.  

But she’d been wrong.

Six weeks later, long after Jason had returned to Dublin, Tara’s worst fears were realised in more ways than one.

Upon discovering that her period was late,  she realised she had a much greater problem than a broken heart to contend with.  She was barely seventeen years old, and almost definitely pregnant with Jason’s child, and although she’d convinced herself it was a child conceived out of love, Tara wasn’t naïve enough to think that this fact alone would make it any easier for her parents to accept.