All Because of You (Lakeview #2) (42 page)

But she couldn’t let talk of all this distract her from what she really wanted to know, the real reason Emma and Eric had been in contact.

When she said this to Eric, he sighed loudly.

“Well, when I said Emma agreed to keep my secret, about working at the bar, it turned out to be quid pro quo. I eventually discovered that she had a secret too. When she came in that first night, she was with a few others, and we started chatting. She seemed in really good form, and she eventually told me all about this great guy she’d been with, although she wouldn’t mention any names. Emma is a bit like that, a bit secretive.”

“I’ll say,” Liz replied shortly. “So how did you find out about her pregnancy?”

“By accident really. She started to come in to the pub a bit more after finding out I was working there. To be honest, I think she was a bit lonely in Dublin, despite this new man she’d found – at least that’s what I thought at the time. And of course, when she came in, we used to chat a lot, chat about harmless things and people we both knew and all that. And then one time, I made a casual, offhand comment about a particular person we both knew, and her face crumpled. It
crumpled,
Liz – I’ve never seen Emma let her guard down like that. So, after a lot of persuading, she broke down and eventually told me what had been going on – that the person I’d so casually mentioned in conversation, the
man
I’d mentioned, meant something to her. Meant a lot to her. And she was heartbroken.”

“Heartbroken over the guy she was being secretive about  – the mysterious father of her baby?”

Eric nodded. “But at this stage she hadn’t admitted she was pregnant. I only knew about that when you mentioned it here in this kitchen. But of course I put two and two together, and when I asked her about it, she’d no choice but to admit that yes – she was pregnant by the same person we’d spoken about before.”

“So, you knew who the baby’s father was,” Liz stated. “And Emma knew about you losing your job and working in the pub – ”

“Yes, but things got worse for me shortly after that. Just when I thought I was getting back on track, and earning a decent wage, the pub in town began to cut my hours back. So I panicked, thinking that I was further away from getting things sorted – and in effect, further away from telling you – than ever. I was desperate. And seeing as Emma was the only one who understood – ”

“Well, of course she was the only one who understood!” Liz retorted, stung.
“She was the only one you told.”

“I know … I know and that’s not what I meant.  I’m sorry …” Eric shook his head. “Look, because Emma and I both knew what the other was … going through, we began meeting up now and again, just to let off steam.”

“While you kept secrets from everyone else – secrets from me.”

“I know, and, Liz, you really don’t know how hard it was to – ” 

“So who is it?” Liz interjected, cutting him off. “Who’s this mysterious person Emma been seeing? Is it someone from the village?”

Eric shook his head, his expression guarded. “Liz – she swore me to secrecy about it.”

“Why – is it because it is someone from the village, someone I know?” Liz asked, her curiosity now getting the better of her. She was
dying
to find out who this man might be, the mysterious man that had managed to break the heart of ice-queen Emma Harrington.  “Who
is
he?” she urged.

Eric sighed deeply. “Look, I promised Emma I wouldn’t tell anyone, but I’m going to tell you because you’re my wife, and I don’t want any more secrets between us. But you can’t breathe of word of it, Liz – too many people will get hurt by it. Emma made a silly mistake, and she got caught out. This is a difficult situation for everyone involved, and it’ll do no one any good if it gets out.”

“Who is it, Eric?”

“You have to understand that Emma has always got what she wanted, all the way through life. She’s been indulged, spoiled – she managed to get every man she ever set her sights on. Except one. And I’m sure you know from Tara that she’s the kind of girl who doesn’t like it when she doesn’t get what she wants, that it merely makes her want it all the more. And there’s always been one person Emma wanted that she could never have, and it’s something that’s plagued the poor girl for a very long time.”

“Eric, who the hell is it?” Liz insisted impatiently. “Who is the father of Emma Harrington’s baby? Tell me.”

Eric took another deep breath. And then, when he finally did tell her, Liz’s jaw dropped to the floor.

Having left Liz and Eric’s house, Emma hurried across the bridge towards
Main Stree, her heart racing in panic and her cheeks burning with humiliation in anticipation of what she now had to do. 

Damn, damn, damn.
Eric would have told Liz by now – he had to have told her by now. He’d need to in order to explain Emma’s presence in the house, particularly when Liz was so sure Eric was the father of her baby. And of course that was her own fault for messing with Liz’s head this last while, wasn’t it? She was sorry for doing that now – if she hadn’t sent the text and made that stupid phone call, then Liz wouldn’t be so paranoid, and Eric wouldn’t have to pacify her.

And when Liz did find out who the father of Emma’s baby was, then of course she would be only too delighted to tell everyone else – after all that had happened lately, Eric’s wife certainly didn’t owe her anything.

Damn Liz anyway for coming home so early. Emma had been looking forward to a quiet evening chatting with Eric at his house, although in truth he had seemed rather uncomfortable earlier when she’d arrived at his doorstep unannounced. 

She’d known of course that Liz had gone away for a weekend with Tara, so the coast was clear, so to speak. But never mind trying to make Liz jealous, which, Emma admitted to herself, had been good fun initially but had begun to wear thin – she found she really did enjoy talking to Eric about everything. She enjoyed getting her worries off her chest. And while Eric had always been sympathetic, Emma lately got the feeling that he was sorry all the secrecy had ever started. 

He was clearly very much in love with Liz and worried for his family, and as time went on Emma did feel truly sorry for him that he couldn’t find a proper job. At first, it had been a bit funny, happening upon Eric working behind the bar in Dublin like that, and the poor guy obviously so embarrassed about it and desperate to keep it a secret. But when his hours were cut, and his worries multiplied, Emma realised that it was no joke at all.

And yes, maybe her own worries were just as valid, but lately she got the impression that Eric was tired of listening to her moan about her woes, and wanted her to think seriously about getting everything out in the open. 

“It can’t stay hidden forever, Emma,” Eric had insisted at his house earlier. “When he sees how big you’re getting, and realises that you
are
pregnant, surely he’ll put two and two together? Maybe he already has.”

Emma shook her head. “I’ve been avoiding him ever since – as far as I can tell he doesn’t know anything at all. Too wrapped up in his own little life,” she added bitterly. “And I’m not really showing enough yet for the gossip to start.”

“Yet,” Eric repeated meaningfully. “OK, so maybe he might not suspect anything now, but he certainly will in a few months’ time when the baby is born. The man isn’t stupid, Emma – he’ll work things out for himself.”

“Being with me in the first place was s
tupid of him,” Emma retorted quickly, the beginnings of tears in her eyes, “And what he did afterwards was even worse. Why mess around with my head like that? Why sleep with me at all if he knew it wasn’t going anywhere, if his heart was somewhere else?”

“I know, I know,” Eric was soothing. “I wish I knew. But things have always been complicated where he’s concerned – you know that better than I do.”

Emma nodded, but couldn’t reply as she tried to stop the tears from coming. She certainly did know that, but still it hadn’t stopped her from thinking that their night together had meant something more. Having sworn for most of her adult life that she’d never, ever make a fool of herself over some man like her sister had, she’d then gone and stupidly done the very same thing. She’d been an idiot.

“He’s bad news where women are concerned, Emma – always has been.”

“Maybe, but that doesn’t change the fact that I really cared about him,” Emma said sadly. “And he used me. And now, just because he was unsure about what he really wanted, I’m left in this position.”

Now, as she made her way across the bridge, Emma came to the conclusion that there was no point in keeping her pregnancy a secret from him any longer. Eric was right. He had to know, and soon. 

Very soon, before Liz McGrath had a chance to tell the whole world about it.

A few minutes later, Emma stood outside his front door. 

Steeling herself for the confrontation to come, she tried to keep calm as she rang the doorbell. She stood back from the doorstep and  fastened her coat up to the neck in a conscious attempt to keep her condition concealed. OK, so she might have come here with the express intention of telling him, but she didn’t want to make it all so obvious from the outset. And she certainly didn’t want him to panic at the sight of her bump, and maybe quickly close the door in her face. Who knows how he’d react to something like this?

Suddenly, the door swung open and there he stood in the doorway, looking as handsome and wonderful as ever, and as she caught sight of him once again, Emma’s breath caught in her throat.
Oh, how she wished she didn’t feel like this! But it was pointless wishing – for some reason, he had always had a profound effect on her, and despite her attempts to deny it, she just couldn’t help how she truly felt. 

“Emma, hi! This is a surprise … how are you?” By the slight wariness in his tone, she knew immediately that there was someone else in the house with him – and she could guess who. Well, she wasn’t going to keep him very long. 

“Well, I’d like to say I’m fine, but that would be a lie,” Emma said shortly, lapsing into defensive mode.

“Oh?” He looked confused. “What’s up? And how can I help?”

“That night …” she began, staring straight at him, her eyes cold and her chin upturned. “The night we – ”

He visibly winced. “Emma, I’m sorry … but can we talk some other time?” he said quickly. “It’s been a busy day and now is  not really a good time for me … ” Then he gave a surreptitious glance behind him, as if afraid that his companion might come out to investigate.

The casual, almost indifferent reaction and the disinterested way he’d tried to brush her aside set off something inside Emma, and right then, all thoughts of breaking the news softly to him went right out the window. 

“It was a good time for you a few months ago though, w
asn’t it, you two-faced bastard,” she blurted, her tone rising. “Back then, you had plenty of time for me.”

He looked stunned for a mo
ment. “Emma, please … calm down.” He looked worriedly up and down the street.

“Why should I? Are you afraid that everyone will find out about you? Afraid they’ll all find out that the person they
all think is the salt-of-the-earth is nothing but a heartless, using cad?”

“Heartless, using cad
… what’s all that about?” he said, looking genuinely puzzled. “How did I use you? As far as I was concerned that night was just a bit of fun – for both of us. Something stupid after a few drinks too many.”

Emma couldn’t believe it. He had no idea – no idea at all that she had real feelings for him. He’d really thought their night together was no big deal.
Just a bit of fun?
  Having known all about this man, having always known deep down that she couldn’t –
shouldn’t
– put any faith in him, still she’d thought it meant something. But she’d been silly to think about trusting him, because most of the time the same man couldn’t even trust himself.  

“Emma, I’m sorry if you thought that …well, I didn’t mean to … as I said, we’d had a few drinks, and it was just a bit of a laugh, wasn’t it?” He was talking as if it was all perfectly reasonable. “I didn’t think for a second that you might think something would come of it. I mean, you know as well as anyone the story with me.”

“Well something did come of it, actually,” Emma replied, her heart racing as she said the words. “I’m pregnant.”

She watched his face drain of colour, as his gaze quickly moved to her abdomen.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Well, you’d bett
er believe me, because it’s sure as hell no joke.”

The two of them stood there for a while, both silent as he tr
ied to take in the news.

“I don’t know what to say,” he managed
eventually. “This is … well, to be honest, I’m completely shocked.”

The fact that he hadn’t immediately closed the door in her face, the fact that he looked almost … fascinated by this news, buoyed her a little. Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad after all. Maybe the two of them might just be able to muddle through. But just as quickly, Emma remembered what Eric had told her, remembered the reasons she’d kept this a secret in the first place. There was no future for her with this man – nor would there ever be.