All Because of You (Lakeview #2) (36 page)

He ran a hand through his hair and began to pace the room. “Look, I was going to tell you – ”

Right then, Tara thought she actually felt her heart split in two. Oh no … please no.  “When?” she cried. “When were you going to tell me, Glenn? When she had the baby? Or were the two of you planning on keeping that a secret from us too – hoping none of us would know any better?”

“I just didn’t … ” Glenn was lost for words.

Tara felt the room swim out of focus. She couldn’t believe this. How could he? How could
she
? How on earth could this nightmare have happened?

“Tell me, G
lenn.”

“It wasn’t going to be a secret much longer. I was going to tell you soon. Her parents already know.”

“I see, so it’s OK to tell her parents but not me –” Then, she shook her head wildly as his words penetrated her brain properly. “Hold on a second, what do you mean her
parents
know? You mean it’s not Emma?”

Glenn looked like she’d punched him in the face. “Emma … what the
…? Are you crazy? Emma’s your
sister,
for crying out loud! What kind of a sicko do you think I am?”

Tara didn’t know whether to be relieved or upset or even more angry. In all honesty, she just didn’t know how to feel. “But if it’s not Emma then ….who?”

Glenn was still shaking his head. “I can’t believe you thought that I’d do something like that …with Emma. That’s sick!”

“Well, if it’s not Emma, then who the hell is it, Glenn?” Tara repeated vehemently.

“I was going to tell you,” he repeated, “but I just couldn’t bring myself to. Look, you’ve been in such good form since we came back from the holiday – I didn’t want to ruin things for you. And I know you’re worried about this thing with Emma too and you’ve been up and down to Lakeview a lot – ”

“Oh, so while the cat’s away, the mice will play, is it?” Tara challenged.

He shook his head from side to side. “No, it wasn’t that. Look, I just couldn’t find the right time.”

“Now is a good time,” she said, her tone hardening. “Or should I just scroll down through the rest of the forum?”

“I still can’t believe you spied on me like that.”

“It wasn’t like that, I was looking for something else and I came across the webpage.   I had no idea you were a member of this website. What were you doing giving people advice like that? Were you not afraid of being found out? Glenn, of all people you should know enough about computers to realise that you shouldn’t have let yourself stay logged in like that. Or didn’t you care whether or not you were found out? Is that it?”

“Believe me, I didn’t know that would happen. I was sure I’d logged out last time I was in, but the cookies must have saved it and – ”

“Spare me the technical stuff, Glenn, and please tel
l me what the hell is going on. Who is this girl you’ve got pregnant?”

Glenn sighed. “It’s difficult to know where to start,”

“The beginning will be fine,” she said, trying to keep her voice even.

He sighed deeply, and took a seat on the armchair across from her.

“Her name is … Abby,” he began, his eyes studying the carpet. “We met a couple of months back … in Egypt.”

Tara couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “In Egypt … while you were supposed to be on holiday with me?” she croaked.

He nodded, ashamed. “She was taking the scuba-diving course too, and she’s Irish – from Donnybrook – and over the few days going out on the boat, we sort of … hit it off.”

Now
Tara understood why he’d been so unconcerned about her going off to the Pyramids with Natalie. In fact, he’d practically insisted she go. And why not – when it would free him up to go off and chase some girl! How could he? How could he deceive her like that? Glenn had never been the secretive type, they had always been straight up with one another.

Or so she’d thought.

“So, let me get this straight. All those times I stayed around the pool and you were supposed to be going off on the boat, you were actually off with some girl?”

“No, I
was
going off on the boat. I did take the course. She was taking it too.”

“I see – very convenient, wasn’t it?”

Glenn wouldn’t look at her. “I’m sorry – it just happened.”

“And now she’s pregnant,” Tara stated acidly. “When did this happen? On some plastic sun-lounger in Egypt, or did you continue seeing her after we got home?”

Still, he wouldn’t look at her. “We met up a couple of times afterwards, yes,” he said shamefully. “And then … it happened. Look, we didn’t mean for it to – ”

“Oh, spare me that bullshit! You know as well as I do that t
hese things don’t ‘just happen’.”

“I said I was sorry,” he replied, his tone hardening somewhat. “This is hard enough for me as it is, witho
ut feeling guilty about you too.”

“You selfish … why shouldn’t you feel guilty, going around behind my back like that? And what else did you think I’d feel?”

“I’m sorry … I just … I’m sorry,” Glenn repeated as Tara stared into space, unable to believe what was happening.

Eventually, Tara got up and walked out, unable to stay in the same room with him any longer. She went into the kitchen and put her head in her hands. In a few months’ time, Glenn – her Glenn – would be the father of some
young girl’s baby.

What on earth was she going to do?

The following morning, a bubbly and energetic Liz arrived at the house, Eric having driven her all the way from Lakeview Tara and Glenn had sat up for hours the previous night discussing everything that had happened, Glenn apologising over and over, Tara trying in vain to come to terms with it all. She’d lain awake for hours in bed afterwards, wondering what on earth would happen to them now. Glenn had insisted he was going to stick by this … this Abby (Tara could barely bring herself to utter the girl’s name).

“She’s carrying my child, and she needs my support,” he told Tara, when she’d calmed down somewhat from the shock of her initial discovery. “You must understand that I have to stand by her.”

“Do you love her?” Tara asked him.

Glenn was hesitant, and again he wouldn’t give her a straight answer.

“I … I don’t know.  I think so,” he said, while inside Tara’s heart shattered.

So it seemed he had it all worked out. He was standing by this girl – this soon-to-be mother of his child. Good for him, she’d thought, as she lay wide awake well into the night. He’d had weeks to come to terms with this, to think about what it meant to his future. But what about her? What about what
she
thought? Didn’t that matter to him at all? Did he think that she’d just stand by, say nothing and just accept things as they were? That saying sorry would be enough?

Tara didn’t know; and that morning she could barely see straight from lack of sleep, let alone get excited about the upcoming trip. 

Earlier that morning, Glenn had gone out to work as usual, and had given her a warm hug, before urging her apologetically to ‘try and enjoy it’ and that they’d talk some more on her return. 

Tara hadn’t returned the hug, and almost wanted to laugh out loud at the idea of her enjoying herself. A jaunt to London was the last thing she wanted or needed after the bombshell he’d landed on her, but at the same time she didn’t want to let Natalie, or indeed Liz down. 

“I’m so looking forward to this!” her friend squealed, as she excitedly dropped her bags in the hallway, and followed Tara through to the kitchen. “And Eric was
fine
about my going – he actually told me I deserved the break – which was a turn-up for the books I can tell you, and …” Her words trailed off as in the bright light of the kitchen, she properly caught sight of Tara’s drawn and anxious face. “What’s the matter?” she gasped. “Tara, what’s wrong?”

“Oh,
Liz – everything’s such a mess.” Unable to hide her distress any longer, Tara sank into the kitchen chair, and put her head in her hands. 

“What is it? What’s happened?”

“It’s Glenn,” she cried. “He’s made such a mess of everything.”

And through her tears, Tara spilled out the whole sorry tale to Liz, including the part where she’d suspected that Glenn might have been the father of Emma’s baby.

“I suppose that’s the only positive thing to come out of this,” she said afterwards, grimacing through her tears. “If it
had
been Emma he’d been seeing, I don’t think I could have ever got over that – none of us would.”

Liz said nothing, and Tara knew the mention of her sister’s name raised the question of her pregnancy and the elusive father once more. In fact, if Glenn
had
been revealed as the father, then Eric would have been off the hook, wouldn’t he? And all of Liz’s worries would have been at an end. But Tara couldn’t think about that now.  

Eventually Liz shook her head. “I can only imagine what you’re going through,” she said, her voice gentle, “but at least he admitted everything, and was willing to talk about it with you. And no matter what he might have done, Glenn is still a good and decent guy. You’ll work it out between you, I know you will.”

Tara sniffed. She wasn’t so sure whether or not she wanted to work it out. It might be easier to just throw Glenn out on his ear, and let him and his girlfriend go it alone. But deep down, she knew she wouldn’t do that. She and Glenn had been through too much over the years, and despite what had happened, she loved him like crazy. 

“I just don’t know how to deal with it,” she told Liz sadly. “He
’s going to be a father soon, him and some kid he barely knows. He’s said he wants to stand by her, that he has to stand by her. And if he’s so determined to do that, so determined to become involved in this girl and her baby’s life, then Liz, where on earth does that leave me?”

Chapter 28

They arrived at Heathrow that same afternoon, and Tara resolved to try and take her mind off things for a while, at least until they’d met up with Natalie and her boyfriend. Then, as Liz said, the two of them could spend the rest of the weekend ‘locked in the hotel with chocolate and ice-cream’ if Tara preferred. She certainly knew she wouldn’t be up to going shopping in Oxford Street on Saturday afternoon or anything like that. She’d be lucky if she got through the day as it was.

“I’m so sorry for ruining your weekend,” Tara said, as they travelled towards their hotel in the taxi (which, she thought sadly, had ‘cost’ her a lot more than she’d anticipated – and not financially) “I know how much you were looking forward to this.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Liz replied, looking horrified that she should think – let alone say –such a thing. “In fact, I think you’re amazing for going through with this at all. If it were me, I know for a fact I’d be buried under the duvet with one of my four-stone bags of Minstrels!”

Tara raised a smile. “Well, everything’s arranged and, to be honest, I don’t think Natalie would hear of it if I told her we weren’t coming. Let’s just say she’s a pretty determined girl.”

Liz sat back and stared out at the London streets, which were today covered with mist and rain. “I’m looking forward to meeting her, and this lovely boyfriend of hers.”

“Yes,” Tara replied, hoping she’d be able to get through tonight without letting Natalie know she was off form. She knew how much Natalie was looking forward to their visit and showing off Jay. She really didn’t want to ruin it for her. “It should be an interesting night all right.”

That evening, Liz checked her appearance in the mirror for what must have been the thousandth time in the last hour. Not that it mattered an iota what she looked like in the scheme of things, she thought guiltily. Here she was, idiotically concerned about her clothes when poor old Tara, who was getting ready in the hotel room’s en suite bathroom, was going through a terrible time with Glenn. 

Liz still couldn’t believe that he’d got some girl pregnant. Who’d have thought he had it in him? Especially when he’d never really seemed that interested in anything other than computers and bloody football! But, as that old saying went, she thought sadly, it’s the quiet ones you have to watch. 

And now poor Tara was devastated over it.

Liz sighed. She hated herself for it, but for one brief second when Tara was explaining how she’d suspected that Glenn might have been Emma’s mystery man, she’d almost hoped it were true. 

Not that she’d ever wish something like that on Tara  – no way – but from a purely selfish point of view, it would have meant that she could finally rule out it being Eric.  And Liz wanted that more than anything else, she wanted to know for certain that her husband hadn’t been unfaithful to her, that his association with Tara’s sister was based purely on an old friendship and nothing more. 

And discovering that someone else was the baby’s father would certainly give her that. Although it was awful to think that Glenn and Emma could have been … Liz shivered at the notion of it. Still, there was that horrible tiny part of her that had grasped at the explanation, and now she despised herself for it.