A Heart Renewed (43 page)

“Don’t look so surprised,” Leland said.  “It’s my day off.  Believe me when I say you will come to enjoy those days you can sleep in without fear of missing the next station.”

“What do you usually do when you’re here in La Paz?” Thomas asked as he dug into his plate of food.  Scrambled eggs never tasted so good.

“Explore town.  Hang out at the saloon.  Visit the mercantile.  You know, get caught up on the latest news of the area.”

Thomas nodded.  He knew what he planned to do for the day.  He was going to every doctor’s office in town until he found Drew.  He learned last night at supper that there were two doctors in town, one dentist, and many other professionals.  Surely someone would know his brother.

Once breakfast was over, Thomas borrowed a horse from the station and rode to the post office to speak with the postmaster.  The thin gangly looking man turned from sorting the mail when Thomas entered.

“I was wondering if you might know Andrew Anderson, goes by Drew?  He’s a doctor and his wife’s name is Hannah,” Thomas asked.

“Never heard of no Anderson.  There’s Doc Henry and Doc Nick, the only two doctors in town.  Then a dentist, Doc Johnson.  No Anderson though,” the postmaster replied.

“How long you been in these parts?” Thomas asked, hoping the man was new and just never met Drew.

“Oh, been here for three years now.  Know pretty much everyone in town.”

Dejected, Thomas left the building.  Not much point in visiting either doctor, if the postmaster was so familiar with everyone.  Drew and Hannah only left Ohio less than two years ago.  They should have been in La Paz for at least a year, maybe more.

By the time supper rolled around, Thomas was utterly discouraged.  He went to each mercantile, two churches, and five saloons.  No one had ever heard of Drew.  The next day he broadened his search, speaking with the livery owner, the two doctors, the dentist, the land agent, and anyone who would give him time.  It was clear that Drew and Hannah never resided in La Paz.

At the end of his second day in La Paz, Thomas was glad they would be returning to Prescott the following morning.  The only useful piece of information he uncovered was that several wagon trains followed the stage route into La Paz for settlement.  On the way back to Prescott, Thomas would ask more questions at each of the stations.

Four days later, Thomas pulled his horse to a stop in front of the livery in Prescott.  No one along the route had ever heard of Dr. Anderson.  He even told Leland about his search on the first day back from La Paz.  He never heard anything either.

Where could Drew and Hannah be?  Was it possible they settled somewhere along the way?  Thomas had not considered that possibility before.  But, if they found a place they liked and that needed a doctor it made sense.  Did one or both of them die?  Is that why no one seemed to know who they were?  That possibility was too horrible for Thomas to consider.  For if it was true, he would have been responsible for their deaths, since it was his actions that caused them to leave.

He tried to shake such morbid thoughts from his mind as he followed Leland into the livery.  Leland nodded for Craig to follow him back to the other room.  The two spoke in hushed tones for several minutes before both men returned to the main office.

Craig held out his hand to Thomas.  “Congratulations, Anderson.  Leland here says you were an excellent rider.  The job is yours if you still want it.”

Thomas smiled and shook both men’s hands.  “Be glad to have it, sir…um, Craig.”

Craig reached into his desk drawer and counted out Thomas’s pay for the first run.  Once they agreed on his wage, Thomas picked up his saddle bag and left.

As he neared Lancaster’s Boardinghouse, he spotted Betty behind one of the bunkhouses.  She waved as he approached.

“Mr. Anderson, back from the express run, I see.”

“Yes, ma’am.  I am officially the new rider for the La Paz Express.”

“That’s wonderful, dear.  Will you be staying here when you aren’t riding?”

“Well, I was hoping we could work out something.”  He explained his anticipated schedule and Betty agreed she would keep a bunk for him when he would be in Prescott.  The days he was gone, if needed, she would rent his bunk to someone else.  He would only have to pay for the days he was in town.  The rest of the time, she told him he could store any personal items in a crate under his bunk.  He doubted he would be leaving anything behind.

The next two days were uneventful, even boring.  While the first morning he enjoyed sleeping in, the other days seemed too long.  Thomas thought when he returned from the next trip he would see if Craig needed some help at the livery on his days off.  At least then his hands would not be idle.

Entering the dining hall for supper, he took his usual seat.  Again, when Betty poured him a cup of coffee she gave him a strange look.  He smiled and thanked her for the drink.  She smiled back.  When her son, Paul, set a plate of food before him, he thought the man looked at him odd as well.  Thomas was usually pretty observant, so he trusted he was not seeing something that was not there.

After he finished his meal, he remained seated until all of the other boarders left.  He did not really have a plan for broaching the subject, so he hesitated when Betty stopped by with the coffee pot again.

“Can I get you something else, Mr. Anderson?” Betty asked.

“No, no.  And please, call me Thomas.”

She nodded and started to leave.

“Betty,” Thomas started.  “You know a lot of folks in the area, right?”  At her nod, he proceeded with the question he intended to ask several days ago.  “I’ve been looking for my brother and his wife.  Thought they were going to settle in La Paz, but no one there knows them.  I just thought you might be able to ask around to see if anyone has ever run into Drew and Hannah.  He’s a doctor, so I figure he would be more memorable than most.”

Betty’s face went pale and she slid onto the bench opposite from him.  “Paul!” she yelled.

“What is it Ma?” Paul asked running into the room.

Thomas was confused by Betty’s reaction.  What did he say that had her so upset?

“He’s looking for his brother, Drew Anderson,” she whispered to her son.

Paul’s eyes grew round and he sank onto the bench next to his mother, placing an arm around her protectively.

Betty sat up straighter.  “Dear,” she said locking gazes with Thomas.  “We traveled west with Drew and Hannah Anderson.”

Thomas’s palms grew sweaty.  What was she saying?  She knew his brother?  He wiped his hands on his pants.

“Where are they?” he asked, frantically.

Betty looked at Paul.  When he nodded, she continued, “Well, I’m sorry to tell you this, but Drew is gone.  He died in an avalanche in the San Francisco Mountains just a few short weeks before we arrived here.”

She reached out to take his hand, but Thomas recoiled.  They were dead.  It was his fault that they were dead.  Standing abruptly, he tripped over the bench.  He had to get out of here.  He could not breathe.  He burst through the front door and made his way straight for the saloon.  A strong drink should numb the pain.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat in the saloon.  No matter how much he drank, nothing numbed the realization that he killed his own family.  The only family he had left and his actions killed them.  Glancing up at the window, he saw the darkened street through blurry eyes.  He had to ride out in the morning.

Standing, he knocked over his chair and stumbled towards the door.  When he went to step off the side walk, he landed face down in the dirt.  His arms felt limp, but he forced himself to stand.  The distance to the boardinghouse seemed like miles.

“I killed them,” he moaned, leaning against the door frame of the bunkhouse.

Someone stirred and shushed him.  Then a man grabbed his arm and led him to a bench outside.  Thomas half sat on the bench, barely able to keep from sliding off.

“You did not kill them, Thomas,” a familiar voice said.

Thomas searched his foggy brain.  “Paulie, is that you.”

“Yes.  Look, Hannah is not dead.  You ran out before we could finish explaining.”

Thomas sat up.  Hannah was still alive?  But Drew wasn’t.  “I killed him,” he slurred.  “I killed my brother.”

“No you did not.  The avalanche was an accident and had nothing to do with you.”

Thomas tried to let the words sink in.  “Where’s Hannah?”

“She is married to a rancher, Will Colter, northeast of town.  She’s safe and happy.”

“I have to see her,” he said trying to stand.  A hand clamped down on his shoulder and he lamely tried to wiggle free.  “I haft apologize.  I haft…”

His limbs were getting heavier, harder to move.  But he had to ask Hannah’s forgiveness.

“Come on,” Paul said, helping him up.  Stumbling into the bunkhouse, Paul deposited him on his bunk.  “Get some rest.”

Chapter 34

Prescott

May 12, 1865

Julia sighed heavily, staring at the guest book in front of her.  Mr. Hobbs and Mr. Franklin were scheduled to check in today.  They made numerous visits to Prescott over the last several months.  Mr. Hardy contracted a group of men to help build his toll road between Prescott and Hardyville, the most northern port along the Colorado River.  Rumors circulated that Hardy, Hobbs, Franklin, and Brighton were funding the road.  She also heard that Hardy planned to open a store in the growing town.

Maybe she would see if Mr. Hamilton could check them in.  Certainly she could come up with some errand elsewhere in the hotel needing her attention.  It’s not that she didn’t like Mr. Hobbs and Mr. Franklin—they were both fine gentlemen.  She just wearied of Mr. Hobbs’s repeated attempts to get her to dine with him.

The only gentleman she cared to dine with was Adam.  But, since their outing—the one where she told him the awful truth—he hadn’t been around.  It had been almost two months since she’d seen him.  If he came to town at all during that time, he avoided her completely.  She had no word from anyone at the ranch since then, so she couldn’t even find out how he was doing.  And she desperately wanted to know.

Rubbing her fingers on her temple, she sat on the small stool behind the counter.  Was his silence an indication of his disinterest?  Did he hate her now?  Or was this her fault for assuming he wouldn’t love her anymore if he found out?

Then, Reverend Page’s message yesterday had been about forgiveness—not a subject she wanted to hear, especially in conjunction with Reuben.  Reverend Page said she should forgive those who wronged her, even if they didn’t deserve it.  He said the act of forgiving was for her benefit—which was why Jesus told his disciples to forgive seventy times seven.  Reverend Page said it was because the one doing the forgiving sometimes needed to forgive that many times.

Oh, he had not been talking specifically to her.  It just felt like it.  As soon as he said “forgiveness” she knew the one person she needed to forgive was the one person she would never forgive.  Never.  It took the entire night arguing with God to come to that conclusion.

Forgive anyone who wrongs you, no matter how deep the offense.

Were those words from Reverend Page or from God?  It didn’t matter.  She could not forgive Reuben.  She would not forgive him.  He ruined her.  He destroyed her chance of having a happy marriage with the man she loved.  She would never be Adam’s wife.  She would never have his children.  All because of Reuben’s heinous act.

The lobby door opened and Julia struggled to rein in her churning emotions.  Stretching her lips in an insincere smile, she looked up.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Hobbs, Mr. Franklin,” she greeted, wishing she paid more attention to the arriving stage.  So much for ducking out before it arrived.

“It most certainly is, now that we’ve been graced with one of your beautiful smiles,” Mr. Hobbs replied, leaning against the counter, gold eyes sparkling.

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, she grabbed two room keys.  “Right this way, gentlemen.”

Without another word, she escorted them to their rooms.  She handed Mr. Hobbs his key and turned to go back to the front lobby.  He lightly touched her arm.

“Miss Colter,” he said his voice low.  “It’s good to see you again.”

Stiffly, she replied, “Likewise.”

A brief frown flitted across his forehead.  Raising his voice, he said, “Perhaps you could make early dinner reservations for Mr. Franklin and me.  We’ll be ready for a good meal in about an hour.”

Nodding, she took her leave.

The day could not pass fast enough for Julia.  Other than Mr. Hobbs and Mr. Franklin, only a handful of guests stayed at the hotel.

For the three days since Sunday, things had been slow at the hotel.  If only her mind found such a pace.  She had too much time to think about Reverend Page’s message.  She wanted to forget about Reuben and not constantly battle with the idea of forgiving him.

During the day, and more so in the quiet evenings at night, she waged a war in her mind.  She imagined screaming at him to even shooting him in revenge.  Then she calmed and felt remorse for her hateful thoughts.  Maybe she should just forgive him.