A Heart Renewed (41 page)

When Julia finally woke, there was a sliver of light shining in the window of Betty’s room.  She wished she could forget where she was, but she could not.

When memories of Adam’s kiss invaded her thoughts, she let them come.  It was likely the only kiss she would ever receive from the man she loved.  Her decision to run, while impulsive, had been the right one.  Adam deserved someone who was not ruined.

Sitting upright, she hung her legs over the side of the bed.  She pushed herself up, standing.  Never before had she been so aware of her own labored movements.  One foot stepped forward, followed by the other, again and again until she reached the door separating Betty’s private quarters from the kitchen.

Betty looked up from the dishes as she handed Yu another mug to dry.  She nodded toward the plate on the table.  “I saved you some supper, though it might be cold, dear.”

Julia nodded, taking the seat.  She moved the food around on her plate.  She slowly lifted a spoonful of stew to her lips.  Opening her mouth, she pursed her lips together, cleaning the spoon with her upper lip.  Chewing slowly and deliberately, she forced herself not to cry.  She repeated the motions until the bowl was empty.

She just sat there staring at the table when Betty took the bowl from her.  She listened to the soft swish of water as Betty cleaned the dish.  Placing her elbows on the table, Julia rubbed her temples.  Her head hurt from crying so much.  Despite sleeping for hours, all she could think of was her own warm bed.

“I should be going,” she said as she rose.

“Just a minute, dear, and I’ll walk with you.”  She dried her hands then opened the back door.  They stepped into the fading light of dusk.

“Did Adam find the horse?” Julia asked.  He would be long gone by now.

“Yes, dear.  He is very concerned for you.”

An unbidden tear slid down her cheek.

“Give it some time, dear.  Things will work out in the end.”  Betty patted her check as they stopped in front of the hotel.

Julia nodded and went inside.  Not making eye contact with Mr. Hamilton, she marched down the hall straight to her room.  Closing the door behind her, she flopped down on her bed face first.  Her sobs shook her body as her heart shattered.

The bunkhouse was quiet, well, except for the snores of a few loud sleepers.  But Adam could not sleep.  His heart was heavily burdened with guilt.

He rolled over on his side facing the wall.  Moving one hand under his pillow, he stopped when he felt something silky hidden there. 
Oh, Julia, please forgive me.
  He ran his thumb over her hair ribbon. 
I never meant to hurt you.  I love you.  Please give me a second chance.

Chapter 32

Fort Wingate, New Mexico

April 19, 1865

For the fourth time, Thomas arrived at Fort Wingate.  While the light of day faded rapidly, Thomas was grateful for the safety of the fort.  During the last day of his journey, he could not shake the feeling of being watched.  He was either truly being watched or becoming quite paranoid crossing the vast open plains between the Little Colorado River and Fort Wingate.  Other than the two Indians he encountered on his first trip, he had not seen any natives.

Pulling his mare to a stop, he handed the reins off to another sergeant.  Grabbing the saddle bags full of mail, he entered the small supply building.  None of the correspondence he carried was of any significance, so there was no need to even report to the fort’s major.

Dropping the saddle bags on the counter, he looked around for the supply officer.  Not seeing him, he decided to get some grub before getting some shut eye.  He would pick up the outbound mail for Whipple tomorrow morning.

As Thomas neared the quaint log structure that served as a mess hall, he heard loud cheering coming from within.  When he stepped through the doors, he saw men hugging each other and patting each other on the back.  He overhead one man say there was news from the east.

“War’s over!” a rough looking man said as he slapped Thomas on the back.

Thomas blinked, not certain he heard correctly. 
The war was over?  Could it be true?

He made his way through the crowd to a group of lieutenants huddled together.  He stood on the outskirts of the circle and listened to the conversation.

“A rider came in about an hour ago.”

“Said he got the word via telegraph to Santa Fe.  Then he rode here with the news.”

“Only word was that it was a Union victory and that cagey ol’ Lee finally surrendered.  Happened early in the month.”

“There was a second rider who confirmed the news, so the major thinks it is reliable.  He’s gonna include it in the dispatch to the other forts in the southwest territories.”

“War is over.”

Thomas barely kept his jaw from slacking open.  He never expected he would muster out in the Arizona Territory—where his brother now lived.  With the war over, he would not have to finish out his three year commitment.  He could leave once he got back to Fort Whipple.  The strange circumstances of his life were getting more bizarre.  He never thought, not for one minute, that he would serve anything less than the three years.  Oh, he hoped for the war to end and for his freedom, but never really believed it would happen.

Providence.
  Mixford’s voice floated around in Thomas’s head.  If it really was Providence, why pick now?  Why drag him to the Arizona Territory to let him be free?  Was it possible he was meant to find Drew?

He shook his head.  Now he was starting to sound like Mixford, wondering what he was supposed to do.  A man makes his own choices and his own way.  There’s no preplanned path for his life.  Wasn’t his life a fine example of that? 

Then again, when Thomas really thought about his life, his argument came up lacking.  There were many things he had not chosen.  He did not choose for his father to die.  He did not choose for Drew to leave.  He did not even really choose to serve in the Union or become a dispatch rider.  These things happened around him or to him.

Picking up a plate from the stack, Thomas held it out to receive a healthy portion of food.  While it looked like the same simple fare they served at Whipple, it smelled delicious to his growling stomach.  After eating jerky and bread on the ride between the forts, he looked forward to the more substantial meals.

The possibilities of what his future held rose to his mind between every bite.  He considered what he would do once he returned to Fort Whipple in a few days.  After resting tonight, he would make the return journey to the fort tomorrow morning.  It was a grueling journey, but this time it would be worth it to gain his freedom at the end.

Riding defined him and he was not sure what he might do if he wasn’t riding.  Perhaps he could learn the skills of a cowboy and get a job on one of the ranches in the area.  Or he could work at the saw mill.  Of course, he may have to take whatever he could get, if there weren’t many jobs available.  Although, he was certain the growing territorial capital of Prescott would have jobs in abundance.  He would really just have to wait and see what was available.

Then there was his search for Drew.  He still had no answer from his letter to his brother.  Thomas thought about searching for him, but he could not do so if he was tied down to a job in town.  Perhaps he should go to La Paz first.  If need be, he could always take a few short term jobs until he found Drew and Hannah.

As he swallowed his last bite of food, he knew he was no closer to having an answer than when he started the meal.  Any plan would be meaningless until he mustered out and he could not do that until he made it back to Whipple safely.

Five days later, Thomas pulled his horse to a stop in front of Major Willis’s quarters at Fort Whipple.  He carried a dispatch from the major at Wingate specifically for Major Willis.  Tying his horse to the post outside, he knocked on the door.  When the major bade him enter, he walked straight to his desk with the missive.

“Sir, a message from Wingate,” Thomas said.

The major quickly scanned the message.  “Sergeant, is this true?  Is the war over?”

“Yes, sir.  The report has been confirmed.”

“That’s good news.  Now maybe we can get some decent supplies around here,” Major Willis muttered under his breath.

“Was there something else?” the major asked, clearly expecting Thomas to dismiss himself.

“Yes, sir.  It is just that…  My papers, sir, say I can muster out at the end of the war.”

“And I suppose that is what you would like to do now having heard the war is over?”

“Yes, sir.”

The major tapped his finger against his chin.  “Very well, Sergeant.  You may have someone take you to town.  Leave all of your army supplied items behind—tent, guns, horse, extra uniforms.”

His horse.  Thomas had not considered he would be left without the horse.  That would impact his ability to search for Drew.  But, he really had no say in the matter.  It was not as if he brought the horse in with him, as many dispatchers did.  He inherited it along with the copper tube when he picked up his first dispatch on the battlefield.  None of what he had was his own, not even the paper and ink well in his saddle bags.  Not even the saddle bags were his.

“You may pick up your final pay from the supply officer and make arrangements with him for transportation to town.”

Thomas Anderson—no longer a sergeant—nodded and left to make the arrangements for his new life.

The next morning, he rode in the back of a military wagon into town.  He still wore a uniform, but would need to replace it with other clothes.  The precious little money he received as his military pay would hopefully cover purchasing some clothes and give him shelter for a while.  He would have to secure a job as soon as possible.

Jumping down off the back of the wagon as it pulled to a stop in front of the livery building, Thomas surveyed the town.  While he had been at Fort Whipple for nearly two months, he had no reason to go to town.  This was the first time he visited Prescott.

The rutted streets, if one could call them such, were wide enough to pass two wagons.  There were several structures in town.  From what he could tell, there were two boardinghouses, a hotel, a restaurant, the livery, two different stores, a newspaper office, and a few saloons, among several other buildings.  For such a young town, it seemed rather large. 

Keying in on the saloons, Thomas had an idea.  He had always been a good poker player.  Perhaps he could supplement his meager funds by winning a few hands.  There would be no harm in that and he would be able to get a better start, maybe even win enough to purchase a horse.

Starting toward the saloons, the excitement for the game sent blood coursing through his veins in anticipation.  Then a large sign posted on the side of one of the buildings caught his attention.  “Help Wanted” it said.  He dropped his head back to look up at the sign above the building.  “Livery and La Paz Express – mail delivery service to La Paz.”  Impossible.

Thomas patted the letter in his pocket as he stared at the sign.  Before he left Fort Whipple he checked one last time for any letters from Drew.  The only letter waiting for him was the one he had sent to Drew.  It was returned to Fort Whipple with a note in choppy letters saying no one heard of him.  Confused by the message, he wanted to travel to La Paz to see what he could learn for himself.  And now, here he stood before a sign looking for help for a mail route to La Paz.  This was so ludicrous he just had to ask.

Opening the door, Thomas was immediately greeted by a man behind a desk.

“Good morning.  What can I do for you?”  He looked Thomas over.  A wrinkle formed on his brow.  “In from the fort?”

“Name is Thomas Anderson.  I just mustered out and I saw the sign out front saying you were looking for help.  What kind of help?”

The man introduced himself as Craig Roundtree.  “We are looking for an experienced rider to run the mail route between Prescott and La Paz.  Our current rider, Leland Frye, is getting too old to be running the route every two weeks.  Got any experience riding?”