A Captivating Conundrum (51 page)

Taking a deep breath I turned to Matt. I hated feeling like a teenager in love—some ridiculous female who wanted to draw hearts with little red markers around every picture I could find of him. "It's nice of you to drop by, but the part was already yours."

His eyes studied my face like an explorer with a map. Matt's expression was serious, yet those eyes still held a sparkle that I thought would've diminished for me by now.

"You don't have to thank—"

Raising his hand, Matt slowly walked around the table to stand in front of me. God, I wish we were in Connecticut. At least I'd have doors galore and two floors to bob and weave through. Here, in this small kitchen, I was literally stuck.

"I love you."

My heart skipped a beat. "Matt, listen…"

"I love you," he repeated.

I watched him closely. His voice was calm and his eyes were absolutely clear of confusion. In fact, Matt looked excited, like he'd just solved the ancient riddle of the Sphinx. 

"And I love Amber."

"Matt," I sighed.

"I do." He looked over at the closed door and laughed. "I went back to California; I went back to the schedule, the life, reality—and I began to think about her, you know? How she can plow into people and literally take them out better than Ali ever could?"

I smiled.

"How every time she says something it makes perfect sense. How she came into my dressing room before the show that night to offer me support. She did that, you know."

I stared into a face lit from within by the same mystical force I felt every time Amber called me Mommy.

"Amber sat and talked with me, and did everything to calm any worries I might have had. And when we were in Nicole's SUV facing death, Amber was totally on my side."

I laughed.

"She made you see in minutes what I hadn't been able to convince you of in days. And I thought…this is the kid. This is the one that will literally be my protector, my fan and my supporter, and…I want nothing more than to be the same for her."

I could feel the tears behind my eyes, knowing that although the words were absolutely perfect, his love for Amber was still not enough to run into his arms. "This will be hard, Matt."

He nodded. "I know."

"This is a commitment that could end up hurting a little girl who's been hurt already."

He shook his head hard. "No. I would never hurt her. Or, you."

"You need to be sure."

"I am beyond sure. I was sure the night you told Amber you wanted to be her mother. I was just petrified that I didn't have the knowledge to be a good enough dad."

"And now suddenly you do?"

Matt spoke softly, "No, I don't. But what I realize is that I don't need to have it. I want to be a parent because I love the child and I absolutely, unequivocally love her mother. And that's enough. Everything else I'll just figure out as I go along. With you and Amber helping me out."

I remained silent.
What the hell do you say to this?
There are no guarantees. Life changes on a dime, I know that. But with the myriad of reasons running through my head that told me the best thing to do was simply give him a hug, decline his offer and send him back to Tinseltown—the only thing I could actually see was that look in his eye. He was looking at me the way my father had looked at my mother and that just wasn't something you could fake. It was there, or it wasn't. And when I looked into Matt's stunning eyes, it was absolutely there.

He knelt down before me and that beautiful emerald appeared in his hand. I could see the tears glisten in his eyes. "I love you, Beth Carrier. All I want and need is for you to tell me that you love me back. I want us to be a family. You, me and Amber." Matt's stunning smile lit up the room. "And whoever else may come along
someday
."

I swallowed hard, trying to force my lungs to breathe in.

~ His ~

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THE FLOOR?" Amber raced from her bedroom and stood beside me. Her head was tilted to the side, as if I was some strange animal at the zoo she couldn't quite comprehend.

I smiled at her. "I'm asking your Mommy to marry me."

Her eyes grew wide. "
Really
? What did she say?"

I looked back up at Beth who didn't seem to be breathing. "Nothing yet."

Amber tugged on Beth's hand. "Say something!"

Beth closed her eyes.

"Mommy! You have to say something!" She tugged harder. "If you love him all you do is say, 'yes.'"

God, I appreciated Amber so much right now. I made a mental note to buy her whatever car she wanted when she turned sixteen. "Yeah, Beth. All you have to say is, 'yes'…if you love me."

I knew that Bobby and Chris were in the room. I could see Bobby's frame standing perfectly still, and I could hear the soft weeping coming from Chris—a man who I could guarantee was already seeing flashes of the perfect wedding ceremony he would plan.

Amber turned to me. "What would I call you?"

Suddenly I heard the most amazing answer float through the lips I wanted to kiss for the rest of my life. "You can call him Dad."

Beth's eyes opened. My heart felt like it was ricocheting out of my chest as I jumped up off the floor and stared into that perfect gaze. "
Yes
?"

"Yes."

I grabbed Beth's hand hard and fast, making sure to slip the ring on her finger before she had any chance to rethink her decision. Lifting her in my arms, I took her lips with mine in a kiss that I felt to my toes. Every skin cell was dancing for joy. In Beth's arms, I was warm again.

Amber wasn't the only one who'd found a home.

~ Hers ~

Matt was the one.

The arms wrapped around me, and the strong lips moved against mine whispering the words, "Thank you."

It felt like Matt was speaking to the angels, or Fate, or whatever was responsible for this whirlwind that'd turned out exactly the way he wanted it to. And I felt the same way.

The road was certainly going to be interesting, but in less than a month I'd truly fallen in love and had a child. Everything was so perfect, I couldn't think. And, what's more, I didn't want to.

Amber pushed her small body in between us and forced us apart, as she jumped at me with tears in her eyes. "I don't like Dad. Can I call him Daddy instead?"

I laughed, staring into the gleeful eyes. "That's up to you two."

Matt laughed, keeping one arm firmly around my waist. "Daddy works for me."

When the doorbell rang, Amber pushed against me. Setting her down, she raced to the door and flung it open, revealing an exhausted looking teenage boy holding a pile of pizzas. "Well, it's about TIME!" Amber huffed.

Matt dropped his arm and moved in behind her. Taking the pizzas from the now slightly scared boy's hands, Matt handed him the cash and glanced down at Amber. "Don't be rude to him. It's not his fault; traffic is awful in this city. And you have to be careful. You can't fling the door open; you have to find out who's there first, okay?"

I almost broke down as Amber stared up at Matt and smiled. "I'm sorry, Daddy."

~ His ~

I can't tell you. I can't write it, I can't sing it, I can't perform it. I was engaged to the most beautiful person on the planet—inside and out. I had somehow gotten her to fall in love with me—a fact that I will be trying to figure out for many years to come. I was a 'Daddy'-in-training, and I'd just given my daughter her first lesson in safety.

Hugs commenced and Chris literally began bouncing off the walls, throwing Beth onto the sofa. Producing a laptop from thin air, he immediately began his diatribe about a double wedding, so that Beth and Bobby could share their happy day. 

No…there's no way to describe it. Everything amazing that's happened in my life thus far—and there's been a lot to be grateful for—all of a sudden seemed to pale in comparison to the life I was now beginning. I wanted to scream, shout, take out advertisements in magazines, dance on a rooftop—anything, in order to let the world know how much I loved 'my girls.'

I did, however, have one last bridge to cross. I was so mesmerized by the people congregating on the couch around Beth that I almost shut the door right in Nicole's face. 

She sent me a death glare as she whipped by. "Jerk-off."

"AUNT NICOLE! Daddy asked Mommy to marry him," Amber screamed.

Stopping dead in her tracks, causing the narrow four-inch heels to practically snap at the sudden movement, Nicole's face went pale. "What?!" She stared at me. "
Daddy
?"

My smile was so wide and so firmly set in place there was no way I could drop it, even to calm her down.

"YOU?"

"Nic…don't," Beth's voice was quiet but commanding.

Nicole walked toward me slowly, as Beth stood up from the couch. "Nic?"

As we all came together, Nicole took Beth's hand and stared down at the engagement ring. Beth's other arm wrapped around my waist as we both waited to see what was coming next.

Nicole looked up at me, and sighed. The anger was still churning in her black eyes. "Nice rock, I suppose."

"Thank you."

She took a deep breath and looked me up and down, her gaze coming back to my face. Leaning in…and up, she moved her lips to my ear. "Do NOT screw this up!" A quick peck on the cheek and Nicole turned away.

"Anyway," she began, taking Beth's hands in her own. "I just got a call. Your book is being put up on the big screen, darlin!" She grabbed Beth and hugged her hard.

Beth's eyes were wide. "Excuse me?"

"Yup!" Nicole clapped her hands. "We're headed to Hollywood, girl!"

I started to laugh, as Beth rolled her eyes. "Oh, my God."

"I KNOW!" Nicole reached for Bobby. "And Ken is building a school in Malibu, so we're
all
going. Isn't that cool?"

Bobby groaned, "Yay, rah!"

Beth turned her face to me and I stared at the woman who I wanted to stare at every morning and every night for the rest of my days on earth—and longer, if at all possible. "Congratulations," I said, with a wink.

Without a word, Beth kissed me, making me feel as if everyone had to vacate the apartment immediately. Amber had to go to bed, and Beth and I had to put the final touches on our brand new vow.

When she pulled away, she sighed. "I don't know if I can be a California Girl."

I laughed. "As long as you're my girl, everything will work out just fine."

I could hear Nicole's giddy voice. I could hear Ken talking about the private jet we could use to get back and forth between Los Angeles and New York that would be at our beck and call. I could hear Amber on the couch, sitting beside Chris as he showed her all kinds of dresses made especially for the flower girl. And I heard Bobby's slow, steady voice as he talked about how proud he was to be part of something so great…and also wondering aloud how he was going to get through a flight being cooped up with Nicole's constant ramblings.