A Captivating Conundrum (49 page)

"Right," I said. "You learn, and then if it doesn't work it ends."

"You bought Beth a ring."

I swallowed hard.

"So I have to ask, why would you have committed to that one woman after only a couple of weeks with no guarantee?"

I felt like a truck was parked on my chest. "Because, Beth's…"

"The one," Chance finished my sentence. "You don't need a guarantee with her because you already know she's it."

I sighed.

Chance smiled. "Your circle of friends aren't perfect, man. You've seen break-ups, divorces, and bad times. I mean, shit! I know you're one of those romantic dudes, and all—but Mom, Dad, two-point-three kids, a two-car garage, a dog named Rover? You don't even want that! You want a love that will still allow you the full career and give you the family too. You want a woman who sparks your interest—constantly. Intriguing, someone who fascinates you, but with such a huge heart that you know she wants you and only you. You've always
had
to have that connection, man. And no matter what you say to me about your exes, you
never
had that connection before. You like your independence and you want them to have theirs, BUT you've also been trying forever to find the one who you cannot spend a single night away from because you need her."

My chest was absolutely constricted the more he looked into my head and told me what I already knew.

"Beth Carrier is that woman. If you think you can simply sit back and play through like you have before, you're nuts. If you figure it'll be tough for a time, but then the job, movies, shows, music—all of that will just snap you out of it and Beth will become nothing more than a really nice memory in your head, you're out of your mind."

I stared into the coffee cup. "It's worked before."

"Yup." Chance nodded. "Sure has. But it won't with this one. This was the best couple weeks of your entire life, and that includes anything that's happened in your career."

"And what about the fact that I'm not ready to be a dad?"

Chance's voice turned wistful. "Man, I'm thirty-five. I'm still young enough to find the one to start the family with. But I have to tell you, no matter when I
hopefully
find her—the woman who I
knew
was the soul I had to have by my side forever—I wouldn't give a shit if she already had three children. All that means is Fate believes I would be a good dad, and I would make sure I was."

"But what if you weren't? What if you didn't know the answers, or—"

Chance burst into laughter. "Oh, come on. Who the hell is
ready
to be a parent? No one. Everybody makes this shit up as they go and you know it. My dad's hysterical, but it was my mom who did most of the hard work. Dad taught me stuff about bikes, sports, life and answered all the girl/sex questions I had, but everyone knows for the real info you go straight to Mom."

I smiled, knowing Chance was right.

"What makes your dad great?" he asked.

"He's a real man—a gentleman. He works his butt off helping others, loves his job, loves Mom, loves me…"

"Okay. So, you're a gentleman, you work your butt off, you do help your friends and are kind to other people. By the way, if you tell anyone I said this I
will
kick your ass." Chance laughed. "You love your career, you strive to be better, and you are head-over-heels in love with Beth Carrier. So the only question that remains is, do you think you can love Amber?"

"It's not that easy."

"Yes, actually, it is."

The look aimed at me reminded me so much of Amber at that moment, I practically laughed out loud. I remembered her in the car as Nicole almost sent us all to an early grave by zipping through midtown traffic at the speed of light. I had been trying to convince Beth that no matter how long we'd known each other we
would
work, as long as she loved me. Little Amber had piped up and, in the most simplistic manner, told 'Star' that I was right. We had all we needed if we loved each other, so why mess it up by creating worries that weren't even there? Why make it harder on ourselves than it really was?

"Look, I just have one last thing to say and then I'll leave the subject alone forever. I promise," Chance said.

I looked up at him.

"Hypothetically, say you get over Beth in a few—from the look in your eyes I'm going to say years with this one. Then you run across a lady, get to know her and she has, say…eighty percent of what you're looking for in a wife. She's not perfect, but then again neither are you." He grinned.

"So you ask her to marry you, you have kids, you keep the career, and have a reasonably nice marriage. You love her in that normal way and she loves you back."

I stayed silent, already hating this scenario.

"Kids grow up and leave home. You go to New York to star as…I don't know…Shylock in
The Merchant of Venice
. You know some old, weathered guy. You win your 19
^th
Tony and become the Meryl Streep of Broadway."

I grinned.

"You're walking down the sidewalk, and out of the New York Public Library doors comes Beth Carrier. She's just been at the signing of her thousandth book. You look at each other, exchange pleasantries and you notice the big honkin' diamond on her finger and it hits you—a man has been with
your
soulmate every single day of his life.

My stomach tightened.

"He sleeps with her."

A shot of anger raced through me.

"She has other children by this man."

I wanted to punch his face in.

"Do you walk away saying, 'Well, it was all for the best. We both got what we wanted.' Or, do you cry your eyes out knowing that
you
had that woman and ruined it because you were scared of something that would've very easily worked out and would have given you the best life a man could possibly have?" Chance sat back in his chair, his voice grew louder. "Even if you were old and gray and ready for the home, you would most likely call Dr. Kevorkian's grandson to help you end it all—and you know it!" He took a deep breath. "Life shouldn't be good
enough
, Matt, it should be spectacular! It should make Heaven look like nothing more than a well-decorated truck stop."

Putting the cup down on the coffee table, I nodded at him. "Thanks."

"Welcome," Chance replied. "Heading back to The Big Apple?"

"Yup. Never should've left in the first place."

My cell phone rang; my agent was calling just in time to hear my new plans so he'd be even more pissed off.  "Randy, look, there's something I have to do."

"Just got a call about that charity event you did last week."

My heart began to beat hard in my chest. "What about it?"

"Looks like the piece you did is part of a full script. The backing is there, the venue is picked and
Father
is coming to Broadway. They want you to star."

"Are you sure?" I wondered how on earth this could be real. I mean, after the ridiculous loser I'd been I assumed Beth would've ditched that idea as quick as possible.

"Positive. Came from the writer's agent. Apparently she's a big enough name where the backers granted her leeway on this one. She picked you, pal. I've read over the contract details and this is a hugely sweet deal.
And
, it won't mess up your time elsewhere. Interested?"

Interested? I was elated.
It had come from her. "Of course I'm interested. I want it."

"This isn't a musical."

I smiled. "I know. It's the best thing I've ever read."

"I agree." 

"Look, I'm heading back to New York today. I can sign contracts there?" I swallowed hard, not even wanting to think about what Nicole would rip off my body the second she saw me.  "With the writer's agent?"

"But your other things…the premiere?"

"Is next week. We're all good."

"What about the album?"

"Oh, I've got the album." I smiled to myself. The work may not be done, but the songs had been written and ingrained in my soul. I was miles ahead of where I thought I'd be by now.

"Okay."

Chance stood up and I gave him that hug—the hug that seriously was meant from the heart. Yet again, he'd said the thing I needed to hear. "Thanks, man."

"Anytime." He grinned. "By the way, does she have a sister? A twin, maybe?"

I laughed. "Her sister is married with kids."  .

"How about a cousin who closely resembles her?"

"I'll see what I can do."

"Cool!"

Thirty-Nine

~ Hers ~

"Nicole, why is it again that you keep this office the same temperature as the Yukon? Damn, it's cold in here!" I felt as if a polar bear was about to appear from the bathroom just to say, 'Hey.'

"Its summertime," my agent replied, rolling her eyes.

"It's May! Not exactly steam heat out there yet." I sighed, staring at the glass desk in front of me. I swear there was condensation dripping down the legs, and I could see my breath in front of me. This office was like winter in Connecticut. "What did you need? And why are we not sitting in some nice restaurant talking about it instead of smack dab in the middle of the Arctic Circle?"

Nicole sat back in the brown leather chair; her petite form looked as if it was being swallowed by a grizzly. "I wanted to let you know I followed directions." She sighed. "I sent asshole's agent the contract when you were in London."

I nodded, remaining silent.

"He called and said dumbass very much wants the part and he'll be signing the contract tomorrow morning."

"Good."

Nicole slammed her hand on the desk.

"I wouldn't do that, its glass," I muttered.

"I can't BELIEVE you're giving butt-munch the role after…everything."

I stood up quickly, leaving behind my cup of coffee that'd been hot just a minute ago before turning into a clumpy mess, and walked around the pristine, icy area. I sighed. "I told you that the role was Matt's before…everything. Stop being so pissed off for crissakes. He didn't
do
anything wrong."

Her black eyes looked as if they were going to pop out of her head at any second. "He asked you to marry him and then took it BACK! How much more wrong could the guy be?"

"Nicole!" My anger, thankfully, began bubbling up to the surface to keep me warm. "Matt had every right to change his mind after I decided to adopt Amber. I
let
him change his mind. I had absolutely no right to ask him to stand by his proposal, which he probably would've done because he's too damn chivalrous for his own good."

"And he should have!"

"Nic! Enough!" I shouted. "Do you honestly think I want someone to marry me who doesn't actually want to? Have someone marry me because they feel they
should
and not because it's what they want? Oh, yeah. That'd be a fabulous relationship. He's not ready, Nicole."

"Bastard was ready enough to buy a RING!"

"For someone to do something out of responsibility…how long do you think that marriage would last?"